A/N S6E14 The Cooper/Kripke Inversion is one of my favourite BBT episodes. I've always wondered what who have happened if Amy herself got caught up in the web of lies Sheldon spun…

I'm planning on making this a multi-chapter story. Rated T for now.

The Affection Misconception

Sheldon sat at his desk, an open folder in front of him, reading to himself. He took an occasional sip of tea from his 'World's Best Physicist' mug – it had been a gift from Amy. He didn't have the heart to tell her that the world's best physicist was Stephen Hawking, and instead had accepted it gracefully.

He was just coming to the conclusion of the scientific journal he was reading; the hypothesis would be refuted, he had already concluded, when a soft knock sounded at his door.

Kripke was early.

Oh, how Sheldon hated working with him. The last couple of weeks had been absolute torture. Kripke had stopped making lewd comments about Sheldon's alleged sex life with Amy a couple of days ago, and Sheldon was grateful. It was getting harder each day to come up with stories about sexual encounters that didn't take place.

He had even gone so far to look up possible sexual situations online and to pay attention to whatever explicit stories Wolowitz would tell him, just so he would be able to talk to Kripke about it.

Without looking up from his article, Sheldon addressed the unwanted guest in his office. "You're early, Kripke. Please return in approximately –" he paused and looked at his watch, "two minutes and 47 seconds."

"Sheldon, it's me," Amy said from the doorstep.

Sheldon looked up in alarm, his eyes wide. No, she couldn't be here now. Not with Kripke coming to his office any minute now.

Amy entered his office and smiled up at him. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, working with Kripke and all," she continued happily, taking her bag from her shoulder and dropping it in the chair in front of his desk. She smiled at him innocently. "You never got around to telling me what he thought of your research."

There was a good reason for that, Sheldon thought.

He was panicking already. There was no way he would be able to get Amy out of his office within the limited timeframe. And also, the odds of her running into Kripke in the hallway were enormous.

"You really shouldn't be here right now," he said, thoughtlessly. A hurt look crossed over her face. "What?" she asked, her voice small.

Didn't she know her being here would cause a really uncomfortable situation for him? For the both of them?

His brain – his brilliant, brilliant brain – went into overdrive. He could fix this. He just had to act quickly, that's all.

"Amy," Sheldon said urgently. "Come over here please."

She looked at him, confused, but walked over to his desk nonetheless. "Sheldon, what's wrong?" she asked.

"No, I meant over here," he emphasised, and pushed his desk chair away from his desk. "Behind the desk, quickly."

Amy furrowed her brow at him.

"Amy, please," he muttered urgently. Time was running out fast.

She still regarded him with a confused expression on her face, but walked over behind his desk nonetheless.

Sheldon grasped her wrist when she was within reach, and pulled her swiftly into his lap. Amy gasped in surprise and landed rather hard on his thighs. "Sheldon!" she exclaimed, "what are y—"

Sheldon cupped her face with his free hand, silencing her with his urgent look. "When Kripke gets here," he spoke fast and quietly – the insufferable man would be here any second now – "it has to look like we're in the midst of canoodling in here."

He felt her pulse spike beneath the fingers still on her wrist. "What?" she whispered, the volume of her voice matching his. She was so close. Had she ever been this close? Their bathing suits areas were sort of pressing together. Sheldon didn't know what to think of it.

"Canoodling," he repeated, assuming she had misheard him perhaps. He then elaborated, "Making out, fooling around, whatever the kids call it these days." Really, he had no time for Amy's sudden less than stellar vocabulary.

She still stared at him. Amy opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Had they ever been this close before? Sure, she had hugged him a couple for weeks ago, but this was different. This felt incredibly intimate.

Sheldon's ears pick up on the sound of footsteps in the hall way.

"Amy, please, I beg of you," he beseeched her, "I'll explain everything later." He moved his face closer to her. He repositioned his hand on her wrist to her thigh, grasping it firmly.

He pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Please," he murmured.

Amy exhaled, shaking. "OK," she breathed. Thank the Lord. Sheldon had half a mind to kiss her on the lips. He took a deep breath to ward away that disturbing thought.

The footsteps were approaching his office rapidly. His stomach contracted with nervousness. If he failed to fool Kripke now, he would never hear the end of it. He would have to come clean about Kripke's superior work. That wouldn't do.

Sheldon moved his face downwards, breathing out harshly against Amy's neck, trying to calm himself down. Amy's hair fell in a curtain around them. She gripped the arm with which he held her leg tightly. Her other hand grabbing a fistful of his shirt. She was panting slightly.

Sheldon couldn't help but be impressed with her acting skills: she was already pretending to be in a heightened state of arousal. She really was doing a remarkable job.

Amy shifted in his lap, and it caused his lips to brush against the soft skin of her neck, underneath her ear. "Hoo!" she exclaimed. Sheldon froze for a second, he remembered what that sound meant.

Amy's warm posterior was planted even more firmly against his privates. Sheldon hoped the stimulation wouldn't cause an unwanted reaction. He prayed for his body not to betray him.

He squeezed her thigh in response. Was this sound she made acting too or was this a genuine response to his mouth on her neck? His curiosity piqued, he decided to test his hypothesis. He moved his lips purposely over her skin, grazing her softly. Amy gasped softly. Something twisted in his stomach as he registered the sound.

According to the scientific principle, he had have positive results two out of three times. Intending to kiss her neck again, Sheldon breathed in deeply to prepare himself.

Then several things happened at once.

Amy whimpered. Sheldon groaned. And a half knock sounded at the door.

"Woah!" Barry Kripke shouted gleefully. "You know your door is… wide open, right?"

Sheldon and Amy did their best 'deer-caught-in-headlights' act. Or maybe not so much an act, since the things they had been doing could easily be considered 'canoodling', Sheldon thought.

Amy had ducked her head down, pressing her face into Sheldon's neck. He could practically feel the heat of her blush coming of her. Sheldon, meanwhile, was holding her close to him, while he tried to give Barry a look of annoyance.

He cleared his throat. "Good morning, Kripke," he stated, his tone neutral. As if it was every day that he and Amy were caught in a compromising situation in his office.

"You know, Cooper," Kripke spoke as if they were two jocks discussing their latest conquests in the locker room, "I'd had thought that with all the action you're getting at night, there'd be no need for some good-ol' morning office action."

Sheldon felt Amy stiffen in his lap.

"I guess we lost track of time," Sheldon said in lieu of explaining their situation.

Kripke was grinning. "Track of time, sure," he chuckled, looking absolutely delighted. He walked over to the desk. "Amy, I presume?"

Amy looked up from Sheldon's neck, still blushing. She nodded. She was trembling slightly. Sheldon cursed himself inwardly for putting her in this position. She was obviously very uncomfortable. Sheldon moved his thumb in soft strokes on her leg, hoping it would calm her down.

"I don't believe you've met before," he continued, "Amy," he squeezed her leg again softly, "this is Barry Kripke." He spoke his name with as much contempt as possible. "Kripke; my girlfriend, Dr. Fowler." This had to be the strangest introduction he had ever done.

Amy released his shirt and extended her hand out to Kripke. "Nice to meet you," she said. Sheldon admired her poise. She still sat in his lap, but extended her hand out to him as if she was Barry's superior. Sheldon felt a rush of pride for her go through him.

Kripke smirked at her as he shook her hand, and his eyes moved over her body quickly. Sheldon noticed. Anger boiled up inside him.

"It's certainly nice to meet you too, Dr. Fowler," Kripke said with his slimy voice, "I've heard so, so many, interesting and lovely details about you." He raised his eyebrows rapidly as he spoke.

Sheldon cut his eyes to his. How dare he. Before Amy could question his comments any further, he decided to put an end to this. "We should get to work," he said pointedly, giving Kripke a look that told him to stop.

He quickly grabbed Amy's hips with both his hands, and half-lifted her off his lap. The loss of her warmth was disconcerting. Amy was wobbly on her legs, and he decided it would be easier if he stood up as well to help her regain balance.

Amy looked up at him, she was still holding onto him. He couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her cheeks still had a lovely blush on them. What an amazing actress, he marvelled, blushing on command like that.

He gave her a small smile, willing her to see how grateful he was. She had played along really well. He would have to find a way to tell her that later.

"I'll see you tonight?" he asked, his eyes imploring her. Somehow, his hand had moved on its own accord and had cupped her cheek again. Curious.

"Yes," she answered, her voice a little breathless.

It took Sheldon half a second to realise that Kripke would expect them to kiss goodbye.

While not completely new to that territory, Sheldon still hated for the first time he kissed Amy to be because of his rivalry with Barry Kripke. Amy had kissed him multiple times now (well, twice), and both had been over rather quickly. Their entire exchange just now seemed to be a much bigger deal than those two quick pecks she had given him.

He could not get away with not kissing her now. Or was there a loophole of sorts?

Mustering all his courage, he twisted Amy slightly so the back of her head would obscure Kripke's vision of them. Then he bent forward and kissed her cheek, right next to her lips. The corners of their mouths touched a little. She kissed him back swiftly. Her puckered lips grazed half of his own lips. Sheldon had to suppress a yelp at the contact.

He pulled away quickly. Amy's flush had deepened. Maybe she wasn't acting after all. Sheldon tried to catch her gaze, trying determine again what she was thinking. Amy diverted her gaze and walked around the desk, grabbing her bag from the chair.

"I'll let you get to work," she said, smiling. "It was nice to meet you, Barry."

Kripke nodded at her, his grin still in place. "And you, Amy."

Sheldon watched her leave. What had just happened between them? He needed time to analyse it. And now, he didn't have time at all, because he had an entire day of working with Barry ahead of him. A day probably filled with the same kind of questions and vulgar talk that had just stopped.

"Whew!" Kripke howled as Amy disappeared from their view, "I can see why you can't keep your hands off her, Cooper. I'd tap that ass every chance I got as well!"

Sheldon closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. There was no way Amy hadn't heard that. How on earth was he ever going to explain this to her?

"She seems feisty as well!" Kripke continued, not noticing or choosing to ignore Sheldon's discomfort. "That look she gave me when I shook her hand…" Kripke made a sound which was half-way between a moan and a grunt, "I'm not gonna lie, it did something to me, if you know what I mean."

"That's enough," Sheldon spat, furious at the comments he made about Amy. She was not his to lust after. "I don't need you to tell me what she's like, Kripke. I get to experience that on a nightly bases. And I don't care for the way you looked at her either." Raising his eyebrows for good measure.

Kripke had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "So, work then?"

They gathered around a whiteboard, and markers squeaked over the board.

Outside, Amy stood with her back pressed against the wall. Her lips still tingling, her heartrate still increased and now her ears ringing as well. What the hell had just happened?

To be continued