Need Me

Written by MarySueIsDead

Disclaimer: This story is a fan favorite. Parts of it have been cut, rewritten or edited. The first version of this one-shot was very dark and I felt like the positive themes at the end didn't outweigh the depressing themes throughout. I know everything isn't happy all the time, however, this story needed to be revitalized in a more balanced way. Thanks for reading it again.

XOXOX

There were rumors flooding the workspace about our superior. The most eminent one was that she had killed herself. Overdosed on a bottle of painkillers and slept into her demise.

A feeling in my stomach told me that this was not true. I usually slipped headphones over my ears when hearsay started to spread to the 'Accounting' department.

"Hey, Brain." One of my coworkers greeted as he leaned against the frame of my cubicle. Most of my acquaintances called me that; 'Brain'. I did have a first and last name, but I don't think anyone I knew in my life cared to remember it. "Did you hear about Pataki? The rumor is that her husband died in some nasty car crash and now she's a crack addict and security won't let her into the building."

I didn't respond as I gave him a blank stare and then looked back to the monitor of my computer. I assumed he eventually walked away confused from the lack of attention and I resumed my work.

Someone had to be doing something productive at Pataki Electronics HQ, other than carousing around, drinking lukewarm coffee and gossiping about the latest way that Mrs. Pataki had killed herself.

As the calculations and numbers on my monitor reflected off of my glasses, I remembered reading the paper that dreadful Sunday morning; four days ago.

My insides wrenched as my eyes gazed over the headline about Mrs. Pataki's husband's death. I only could have imagined what she was feeling as a hoard of paparazzi invaded the space of what was her ultimate agony and sorrow.

I wanted to do something; comfort her, anything really. We were friends; not close friends, but we had known each other since pre-school, and I thought that might have meant something better than nothing. Yet she was nowhere to be found.

She hadn't come into work since the accident, and I assumed she locked herself within that wealthy mansion that she and Arnold had lived in. Closing all the blinds, bolting all the doors and distancing herself from the world.

I had stopped by there a couple days after the accident.

There were no paparazzi, probably gone from the lack of excitement that Mrs. Pataki had given them. I parked my car on the curb in front of the property. Large gates surrounded the mansion and I walked up to the front; glancing through the metal stems at the enormous house.

My heart felt like it ballooned when I saw her stand about fifty yards away from me, upon their grand lawn. She wore a baggy white button up that barely fit her torso and a pair of blue boxers as she puffed what looked like a cigarette between her lips. Her blonde hair appeared stringy and dull as her body seemed sickly and weak. I still thought she was the most beautiful creature I ever laid eyes on, but it pained me to see her like this. I had envisioned her on a figurative pedestal throughout most of my life; a goddess.

Sometimes I think she envisioned herself that way too. Just last month, she hosted a large meeting in front of several departments. Thanking all of us common white-collars for what a great job we had been doing all year; projecting successful numbers in a detailed presentation. Most of my coworkers were invested in the food and drinks that were provided; I, however, sat in the crowd, smiling brightly to myself as I watched her present and listened to her encouraging speech.

That seemed like forever ago.

A pile of exquisite maple furniture resided closely next to her on the lawn. It looked like it was about to be firewood. She picked one of the maple chairs into her hands, lifted it up high and snapped it in two upon her toned thigh. Helga then broke the legs of the chair and threw it into another separate pile.

She started to do that with the other furniture and I imagined a magnificent bonfire blooming on her front lawn here soon; burning long into that dark night. Would discarding this furniture release some of the burdening memoirs? Maybe the sight of the flames would calm her as she would gaze into them and suck that poison.

Photographers would come, however, I also remembered she owned two large dogs. A pit-bull named 'Five Avengers' and a rottweiler named 'Old Betsy'.

I smiled a bit to myself as envisioned her letting them loose when the media came. Taking no remorse as they ripped off a couple limbs and broke a couple bones. I might be exaggerating, but it was entertaining to think about and I'm sure she thought about it a few times too.

I came to check for myself, but I already knew. I already knew all these lies my coworkers were dispersing like toxin were not true at all.

She wasn't dead, but the mystifying question was, the funeral was in two days and would she be there?

XOXOX

I stared sadly at the grave of Arnold Pataki along with a bunch of people I didn't know, or didn't know anymore. I assumed they were friends and colleagues of his. A few of them I recognized from PS 118 and Hillwood High, but I'm sure none of them cared to acknowledge my existence. We all surrounded the beautiful casket as it was lowered down into the earth. There wasn't an optimistic cloud in the sky.

What made me feel worse than the fact that this was his funeral, was the photo that resided upon the casket. It was a picture of the young blonde couple, both happily grinning towards the camera, embracing each other as they shared flushed cheeks and luminous smiles.

I finally inquired more at the group of people that stood around his grave. All saddened at the death of this magnificent man and all the good, prospering work he had accomplished, but there was no Helga. No Mrs. Pataki.

I left the desolate crowd and began snooping around the cemetery. Stones and granite dimly covered the grounds. I continued to squint through my glasses and peer around until I saw a speck of black far off into a distant part of the huge space of land.

As I started walking towards the speck in which now became a large black dot, my feet hastened. I could begin to see a glimmer of gold and pink along with it.

I eventually reached the figure. She made sure to stay away and out of sight from the group of grieving people. I attempted to not disturb her process of mourning, however I exhaled rather heavily from my sprint and panted. I knew all too well that annoyed her.

"You're lucky we're not kids anymore." She spoke out then sucked on a lit cigarette with sublime lips that used to kiss things much more deserving.

Her hair was as it was before, sinewy and tousled. Her shade of skin was the same, a shadow of her former radiant hue. This time, I couldn't see her blue eyes. A familiar pink ribbon was tied over them and around her head like a blind fold. She wore an exquisite black tuxedo that was much too big for her. The sleeves covered her entire hands and the bells of the pants covered a majority of the large polished black loafers she wore.

I had seen Arnold wear it on the occasion of their wedding.

I finally muttered. "Y-You're not going to the funeral?"

Helga shook her head as I could see her get tired of the cigarette. She pulled it from her mouth and discarded it next to the grave in front of her. I glanced down at the name on the granite. It read "Robert 'Big Bob' Pataki".

"If I go to that funeral…then he's really gone…" She responded bleakley and exhaled the last of the hazardous smoke from her lungs.

As I continued to stare down at the grave in front of me, I could smell the thick liquor on her breath and it made me cautious. I prayed that she didn't drive. I gulped. Trying to conjure perfect words to say, but I ran blank. "I'm-m…s-so...sorry..."

She didn't respond as we heard the voices of Arnold's funeral trail and echo throughout the willows and gravestones. It must have reached her ears, because a tear escaped from under her pink ribbon and strolled down her lifeless cheek.

Helga turned away from me, not saying goodbye. She started to broaden the distance between us. She didn't stumble, didn't even trip as she walked the lonely path back to a limo that resided yards away. All I felt I could do was regretfully watch her; wishing I had the words or the courage to do anything that maybe could have helped, but I didn't.

She was a silhouette of an incredible woman with a destroyed soul, and only rubble was her companion along that forlorn road. Her guiding light was nowhere.

XOXOX

Helga finally did come back to HQ, but it was just as I imagined. She looked miserable.

She checked in with each department head like a responsible boss should. While she was on the 'Accounting' floor, there were gasps and murmurs from my coworkers as they spotted her fragile composure.

Mrs. Pataki walked down the halls of the cubicles on her way back to the elevator. Her sapphire eyes were awake, but her eyelids darkening. Her hair less oiled but her skin still unhealthy. I heard the nasty whispers coming from various lips as I watched her reach the elevator.

Before its thick metal walls closed, I saw Helga tiredly place her hand upon her forehead and her face crumpled.

Everyone's whispers died as they looked away and delved themselves back into their work, but I continued to stare at the elevator doors. My eyes eventually trailed down upon the light indents of heels in the carpet of where she walked, and found myself raspily breathing through the mouth. I shut my lips once I caught myself.

I desperately wanted to do something, not stand on the sidelines like I had my entire life while people walked all over me and I was pushed away from what my heart really desired most. It was one of the reasons I had gotten married. And one of the reasons I had gotten divorced.

My thoughts raced as I jumbled through some random papers assorted on my desk, grabbed a couple and stood up. I walked to the elevator and got in. Before I lost my impulsive courage, I pressed the button to her floor.

I really didn't know what I was going to say or do. A feeling in my gut just told me to act, so I did. I wanted to at least see her one more time before she disappeared into the abyss of that large house again.

A nervous feeling crept down and buried into the pit of my stomach as I reached the floor. The elevator doors opened and I took a step out. I hadn't been to this floor in a very long time, even though it was just above 'Accounting'. It was filled with offices of higher-ups and big shots.

I was then greeted by a young secretary at a nearby desk. She looked confused to see me. "Hello. How can I help you?"

I did something I rarely did. I lied. "T-There was something I um, forgot to go over with Mrs. Pataki during our meeting. I just found the reports. May I speak with her?"

The woman raised a brow. I speculated she knew the people that came to see Helga and I definitely wasn't one of them. She asked cautiously. "What's your first and last name?"

My name? I wasn't even sure Helga knew my full name. Definitely no one else knew my full name around here. People had been calling me 'Brain' or 'Brainy' for so long, sometimes I even blanked out what my legal name actually was. "It's B-Brian. Brian Biderman."

The secretary lifted the handset of the phone on her desk and placed the receiver to her ear. She pushed a button on the phone and waited for an answer.

I probably would get denied, but I felt like I had to try.

The other line picked up. "Hello, Mrs. Pataki. There is a Mr. Biderman here to see you." There was silence, but then a response and the secretary spoke again. "Okay. Yes, ma'am. I'll send him in." She set the handset down to hang up the call then looked back at me. "She says she'll see you."

I nodded, now even more nervous that my courageous yet foolish ploy had worked and I started to walk towards her office. I passed the other offices of those higher-ups. Good ole' boys that had tenure from when Bob ruled Pataki Electronics. I liked to think Helga kept them as a memento of her father. I'm sure she would say otherwise.

I eventually reached her door, and my hand shook as I gently knocked upon it.

A couple seconds passed by before I heard her weakened voice. "Come in."

I timidly did as I was told and opened the door. She was at her large desk in that big office. A glass wall resided behind her, exposing a view of the city. I browsed at the sparse paintings and vases that casually decorated the area as I quietly closed the door behind me.

Helga stared intently at papers on her desk. The sound of a pen sharply running over those papers filled the room. "What?" She asked aloud. She didn't peer up at me. Her clothes, her hair, her makeup, everything looked proficient, yet the aura of death surrounded her. It saturated the air of the room.

She stopped her writing when I didnt respond and she looked up at me. Her eyes had a glaze of oblivion in them. They were no longer blue; they appeared black. "What?" She snapped this time.

I breathed through my nostrils calmly; I knew if I wheezed it would have annoyed her even more. However, speaking wasn't my strong suit either. "I wanted to s-see how you were d-doing…I'm here if you n-need to talk." I blinked anxiously for her response as I held the papers from my desk in sweaty palms.

Helga tiredly scoffed at my attempt. She didn't seem mean about it, merely exhausted. She set down her pen and raised her fingers to her brow to massage it thoroughly. She spoke lowly. "This isn't highschool, Brian. It's not like Arnold and I had a fight and I need to vent about it." She bit her bottom lip before speaking sternly this time. "The only thing you can do for me is your job. My life is nothing you need to be concerned about."

I pursued. "Helga, I want to h-help…"

Her strong composure faltered. I could see her getting irritated. The exhaustion began churning into anger and this resulted to a dark glare in my direction. "I said go back to your work."

I shook my head this time. I wanted to cry. It was emotionally and physically painful seeing her like this. I couldn't help it; I suppose I was just a big baby when it came to Helga Pataki. I wished Arnold didn't die. I wished it with every ounce of my being, because all I wanted was for her to be happy. "I can't w-work or even th-think...knowing you're...all alone."

Tears threatened in the creases of her now fuming eyes. Helga's lips pursed violently as she grabbed the pen and and raised her arm, stabbing the utensil into the exquisite maple desk. The wood split and cracked while black ink bubbled from the broken pen. She growled and shouted. "Stop talking, BRAINY!"

I stood still; I could see her showing emotions for the first time since this horrible event happened, and that escalated my own. My voice remained blubbery. "I'm...I'm worried…" I released a cough from a painful lump in my throat and I felt a drops of water roll down my chin. I supposed I started crying. "..that you're going to end up dead too…"

Helga was taken aback from what I uttered. She appeared shocked. I don't know if it was because someone cared about her wellbeing, or that someone slapped her in the face with her own denial and destructive tendencies. The shock faded quickly as she then wrung her fists and she looked so angry she was about to pop.

"THIS IS WILDLY UNPROFESSIONAL!" She yelled as she flung her fist and struck a laptop residing on her desk. It flew across the room and hit the adjacent wall before falling to the floor, dying with one last spark. She glowered loathingly at me. "GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!"

I'm some sort of idiot, so I shook my head again softly. "No…I'm not. I w-want you to know you're not alone. Arnold wouldn't w-want you to be alone in this way."

Helga sharply rounded her desk and stomped up to me. I gagged as she grabbed my jaw line with her strong fingers. Her flaming eyes pierced into mine and burned a figurative hole through the glass in my spectacles. I began to wheeze.

Alcohol was strong on her breath and she spoke low. So low it felt six feet under. "How the FUCK do you know what Arnold wanted?"

The whites of her eyes became pink and tears started to cloud her vision. She was angry, but there was so much pain underneath that veil of rage. I could see it, and I worried. I know she hated it, but what would Arnold have done? Would he have pestered her with love and affection until she caved? Would he have left her alone to figure out her own emotions? I didn't know. I could only do what I thought was the right thing to do.

I felt horrible for making her cry. I should've left her alone. "H-Helga, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have pried...I w-want to help...but I don't know how…"

I could tell all this agony that she tried to bury exhausted her as it rose up, and she let go of my face. Helga stumbled back towards her desk and a wave of nausea flooded her cheeks.

She covered her mouth; she grabbed onto the edge of her damaged desk, attempting to steady her balance. I could tell she was trying to hold something in, but it was useless as I then heard a gag and her body hunched over.

She vomited nearly no food, it was mostly liquid. The smell swamped the room as I heard her whimper and watched her knees buckle as her stomach finished thrusting the sickness out.

I took a couple steps towards her. Did she need to go to the ER? Did she need to see a doctor? "Go...go get Margaret." She spoke breathlessly and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "She's the secretary up front…"

I nodded meekly. I would do what she asked this time. I wouldn't resist. This was an opportunity to help.

I turned away from her and headed towards the office door. The sobs she stifled released into the room, and I knew that somewhere up past the clouds, Arnold wasn't happy.

XOXOX

A week went by, and Helga wasn't at Pataki HQ. Again. I even stopped by the Pataki household another time, but she wasn't outside and the curtains over the windows were closed.

I only prayed as I looked through those metal gates that she wasn't doing something that she would regret. And then I thought again. Maybe she was trying to heal. Maybe she was resting. Maybe Five Avengers and Old Betsy were devouring on the bones and flesh of the paparazzi as she took one whomping aspirin and sat comfortably with her feet up in front of a large fireplace of theirs.

...Or maybe she was sleeping in a veil of tears as she held Arnold's sweet memories in her hands. Dreaming about a time of when they planned on starting a family. Settling down from the life of business and patronage. Traveling to Paris…growing old together.

My chest felt hollow and I felt inadequate in comparison. I had never known a love like that, and when I saw it in people's eyes, people's actions, I envied them.

However, the envy for Helga Pataki and her husband turned to gut wrenching pain. I had never wished for her to lose that love, never in my life. I always had wished her and Arnold the best…and I wished that all my wishes could somehow bring him back to life, but I was one of the weak and frail in all that humanity had to offer. My wishes were like dust in the wind.

I sat there at my lonely kitchen table. Wondering whatever Arnold did in this world to deserve something so horrible. My glasses sat upon the table and my reflection looked back up at me.

There were times I often thought something like this should've happened to me instead of Mr. Pataki. Truth be told, I would trade places if it were possible. Then Helga would be happy.

I blinked tiredly and raised my hand to rub my eyes. I needed to start my errands soon and my scratched up bifocals weren't any crystal glass that would tell me an encouraging future.

The doorbell rang.

I peered over towards the foyer, breaking me from my melancholy trance. The only people that usually visited my house were Jehovah Witnesses trying to convert me, Campfire lasses selling chocolate, the mail man handing me my latest pile of bills, and my ex-wife wanting money so she and her new boyfriend could pay their monthly rent.

I put my crooked glasses back upon my ears and the bridge of my nose as I stood up and walked over to the door. I hesitantly looked through the little eye glass and what I saw on the other side of the door made shiver creep up my spine.

I unlocked the knob and opened the door casually yet curiously.

She had been staring down at her shoes. Not Arnold's loafers, but her own shoes. A nice pair of sneakers that looked like she hadn't worn since highschool. She also wore an outfit that would be considered casual; a blouse and fitted jeans. Much different than her CEO suit that was tailored specifically for kicking ass and taking names. Helga glanced up from my welcome mat and we met eyes.

I gave a surprised but pleasant smile. "H-Hey...Um, w-what can I help you with?"

Her cheeks were flushed and she cleared her throat. She tried to maintain a strong composure. "Yes, um...I'd like to talk to you...about the other day. Most importantly, I'd like to apologize for my behavior. I was...way out of line."

"I shouldn't h-have...instigated."

"...You're right. You shouldn't have...But then if you don't then no one will and I will be...alone." Vulnerability washed over her facial features and my heart swooned.

Helga Pataki never apologized to me for anything, let alone remember anything I said. I took this opportunity. "W-Why don't we continue this conversation somewhere other than my f-front porch? How about a c-coffee shop perhaps?"

She hesitated for a moment and then nodded. "I could go for some coffee."

XOXOX

We walked half a mile to a nearby coffee shop. I order my coffee black with cream and sugar. Helga just ordered hers black. We sat at a small two person table near one of the many windows in the quaint shop.

She thought out loud rather despairingly. "How could my life be so together...so complete...and then now its not?"

I wasn't good at giving advice, that was Arnold's forte. But I would answer her honestly, the only way I knew how. "I'd say I know h-how you feel but, I don't want to c-compare losing my sh-shitty ex-wife to you losing Arnold. There's no c-comparison."

Helga gave a soft smile in return.

"I th-think that's the first time I've seen you smile in a while. It's r-really nice."

She took a small sip of her coffee. "There's not many reasons to smile lately."

"What do you think A-Arnold would say about that?"

She set the mug down and rolled her eyes at me. "Fuck. Why are you always playing the Arnold card on me?"

I shrugged rather plainly. "B-Because somebody has t-to."

Helga altered her eyes out the window and up into the clouds. It was sunny today. "You know, you do something that no one else does. You keep reminding me."

I looked at her curiously, hoping that she would explain further.

"You keep reminding me that Arnold...was a living, breathing person...and that's how I should think of him. A valiant spirit. Not as some...rotting corpse in the ground. What would he do? What would he say? What would he want? For me?" Her blue eyes began to water.

I gazed into her face as she drew in a deep breath and stood up from the little table.

Helga's eyes met mine. They seemed...calmer. "I'll see you around the office. Thank you for the coffee."

I gave her a favorable grin. Pleased we could have a conversation without my presence angering her. Maybe I could do something right in this world. "Anytime."

XOXOX

A month passed and I occasionally saw Helga after that.

I would see her as she did her rounds, speaking to the 'Accounting' department head. She started to return to her old self. Not completely of course; that would take years.

Sometimes she would call me up to her office. I liked to believe I was helping in some way. In some mystifying Helga way. I would inquiringly walk in, usually greeted by the fast clicks of her fingers typing upon her new laptop or the scratches of her spare pen fretting against crisp paper. I would stand there politely by the door until she wasn't busy.

Our conversations were short but pleasant. Maybe she thought I was easy to talk to. I believe she was attempting to continue her social life, as hard as it was.

"So…" She would usually start. "How's accounting?"

I would nod. "It's e-excellent."

She would continue as she absentmindedly fiddled with her pen in her hands. "And…how are you?"

I thought her awkward subject changes were admiring as she found a way for us to make small talk. Helga always had a way with words.

It usually only lasted for three or four minutes, but this time I found the courage to expand our conversation. "There's this n-new movie coming out. Um, 'Alien Vampire Assassins' I th-think. It looks g-good."

Her eyes squinted for a moment as she pondered. "I think I saw the commercial to that one."

I hesitated before asking. "W-Would you like to go see it? As friends? I'll even let you p-pay for yourself." I shrugged. "And if you're too b-busy that's fine too."

Helga wavered for a moment before responding. I could only envision what she was thinking. I hoped that I was one of the few people that she trusted. That she could be herself around.

Mrs. Pataki shrugged nonchalantly as she continued to write upon her papers and retorted. "I'll think about it and get back to you."

XOXOX

I cleared my throat as I watched the road.

I hoped Helga didn't mind the overpowering smell of lavender air freshener in my car. I made sure to hang at least three of them off of my rearview mirror after an incident I had with a milk jug in the back seat several months ago. The squalid milk smell still lingered, but I had optimism that it would fade over time.

Her arms were crossed as she watched the road pass us by. Probably thinking if this was a good idea or not, so I encouraged her thoughts.

"You b-brought cash or a card with you r-right? Because you know…I'm not p-paying for you. I mean this isn't a d-date or anything."

Helga chuckled to herself as she continued to stare out. "Well, aren't you just a gentleman? And yes, I brought my wallet."

I grinned slightly to myself as I glanced over her apparel. It was, again, one of the rare occasions where I saw her without a suit on. I enjoyed these rare occasions. Truth be told, I hadn't gone with friends to the movies ever since Jenelle and I got divorced, and that was a year ago. I could barely remember where the theater was.

I was pretty sure it was just past the old...cemetery. Oh.

Helga drew in a breath through her nostrils as I drove by. Her posture stiffened as she gazed out at the graves dotting the lawn.

I slowed down my sedan as we neared the theater and the speed limit dropped. I glanced over at her. "Are...y-you alright?"

She didn't respond and the air in my car was silent for a while.

I finally spoke up. "Maybe w-we should go...visit him."

"I don't want to do that."

"M-Maybe it would-"

"I said NO." She bit her bottom lip and her voice softened. "I'm sorry...but...he's not there. The universe has him now."

I attempted to understand her cryptic and poetic mind. I dealt with numbers all day, every day, but I think I got the picture. I nodded. "Okay. W-What would you l-like to do?"

Helga sighed tiredly. "Well, I'd like to go home and drink until I black out for who knows how long but...Arnold wouldn't want that. So, instead, I'd like to go see this...stupid ass movie you've got planned for us to see. Maybe goof on it and have a laugh. Alright?"

I smiled. "Okay. Th-that sounds good."

XOXOX

I started to have these vivid dreams every night. It was probably from all the melatonin I took. Honestly, most nights I couldn't determine if I was having dreams or nightmares.

A twisted car, occupying two bodies. One hanging on for dear life, the other, already crossed into the world of eternity.

I was the only one who would run to the bashed window, frantically looking inside at the two figures. The man's body was completely clean as he laid there peacefully on the passenger's side. There was no blood, no cuts, no bruises, and he looked as if he was sleeping.

Then I altered my eyes to the woman's form.

She moaned in pain as she lay in the driver's seat, but the steering wheel wasn't there, it didn't exist in the dream.

Her forehead revealed a red spot with split skin. Her ears were sliced, her pink lips had slits, her arms were broken, her legs were gouged, her clothes were torn, all by metal and glass.

She groaned again as her neck arched backwards into the bloody headrest and she coughed out red fluid from her lungs. Her face twisted in agony as tears ran down her cheeks and streamed within the blood.

I stared at her helplessly through the deformed door and the man in the passenger side began to move. My view shifted to him as his emerald colored eyes opened and he sat up in his seat. His glanced over to the woman next to him and his brows turned upward. He then looked to me.

We stared at each other for a good long while before he spoke. "Do something."

I wheezed after he said it.

His words echoed throughout the dream as I positioned my form through the broken window. The glass uncomfortably punctured through my stomach as I reached my hand out to her.

She breathed weakly and slowly opened her blue eyes as my fingers gently touched her blood soaked hair. Golden locks mixed with the red as I brushed it away from her face and moved my other hand. Maneuvering it past the jutted metal and finally finding hers. It was broken and twisted but I held it in mine anyways. She finally looked over at me. Her dry lips moving but her voice was lost.

"Thank you…"

I gazed back to the man as he had spoken the same thing. He closed his eyes and moved over to press his lips against her forehead.

An emerald tear ran down his face. His hand went partially transparent as he touched his fingers against her stained cheek and brushed it yearningly. "I love you…You're safe now."

XOXOX

I tried to make my presence known now when she walked the 'Accounting' floor. I would smile at her and sometimes she would smile back, yet there were also the days when her mind seemed very preoccupied.

One of these days, she called me up to her office, and our conversation was different than it usually was.

Her golden hair was down. I liked it down. However, she had that tired expression on her face again. It had disappeared for a few weeks, but now it seemed it was back. "I was wondering if you could do a personal favor for me tomorrow."

I nodded. "Of course, a-anything."

"I've been...feeling rather ill these past few days. So, I called my doctor and she said she could squeeze me in tomorrow. However, Betsy and Ave have an appointment tomorrow as well around the same time...and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind taking them? Ave just needs to get her rabies shot and Betsy comes along for emotional support. They're...inseparable."

Emotional support. That line echoed throughout my mind. I did also enjoy dogs. I hadn't had a dog since I was little. I know I imagined Betsy and Avengers destroying the paparazzi most of the time, but I'm sure they weren't that bad. "I would be h-happy to. I'm sorry you're not f-feeling well."

"It's not like I've been the best at taking care of myself lately...so, it is what it is. It shouldn't last too long."

I nodded. "Okay."

"I'll text you the time and details, oh." She bent down and rummaged through her purse, pulling out a set of keys. "This is the key to the gate, and this is the key to the front door. You give these to anyone else, and I'll have you killed." She handed them forward.

I graciously took them and gasped internally. Wow, my own set of Pataki mansion keys. I almost cried right then. She did trust me. "I'll g-guard these with my life."

XOXOX

The next day I made my way over to the Pataki property, at least an hour before the dogs' appointment. I made it through the gate and the front door with no issues and was surprised to see happy slobbering pups greet me as I entered the foyer.

I had never been inside the household before and was incredibly curious to have a look around, but I'd rather get the full tour from Helga herself. I peered to my left, there was a coat hanger with two leashes, just like Helga said in her text.

"You two ladies don't s-seem so scary. How are you supposed to keep away the m-media acting like this?"

Betsy started to lick my shoe while Avenger ran around in excited circles. Maybe my daydreams of these dogs being man eating killers was over exaggerated.

I grabbed the leashes and the girls got more eager. "Alright, let's go to your appointment Avie and then after we can go to the park. Sound good?" I bent over to hook the leashes on their collars and we exited the front door.

XOXOX

Once Avenger's appointment was over, I texted Helga that we would be at a nearby dog park, and she could meet us at her leisure.

I probably hadn't had this nice of an afternoon in a while. It made me want to get a dog of my own. My ex wife hated animals or anything that she would have had to take care of other than herself. But I hadn't realized how pleasant it was to watch Betsy and Avenger run around and make instant friends, play with toys and enjoy life in general.

I glanced over and saw Helga enter the park through the gate a couple yards away. Avenger noticed this and ran up to her mom. Helga petted and cooed at the excited pup as she made her way over to the bench where I sat.

I greeted her. "Hey, how'd it g-go?"

She sat down next to me and ran her fingers through her golden hair. It was down again. "Oh, they want me to come back in an hour or so to do an ultrasound. The doctor thinks they're may be cysts on my ovaries. They'll probably just put me on a new birth control." She watched Avenger run back out to the field and make another new friend. "How'd Ave's appointment go?"

"I think it went well. They gave her a dog treat afterwards. Kind of like when doctors give children a lollipop after a booster shot."

"That's good. They didn't give you too much trouble then?"

I shook my head. "No, they're p-perfect angels, and I think they're happy to be out. Ave is s-sweet on that German Shepherd over there. They were playing for the last half hour or s-so. And then Betsy found a large stick she's r-rather content with chewing."

"Yeah, Ave is a sucker for those Shepherds, and have you seen the size of Bets' shits yet? They are the biggest dog shits you will ever see in your life!" She exclaimed.

I chuckled aloud. "I cleaned up a pile earlier, so yes. I think she wanted to roll around in it, but luckily she found that stick instead."

Helga smiled and her palm hit her forehead in amusement. "Yep. There were times I thought of changing her name to 'Turd Meister', but, Arnold wasn't too fond of that idea."

I released a loud laugh this time. I don't know why I thought that was so funny. Maybe it was a juvenile part of me that never left. Helga could always make me laugh with her sense of humor. "M-Maybe he would've gotten used to it."

"Oh, he and Bets' were like peanut butter and jelly." Her eyes glazed over with a deep sadness as she stared at the dogs on the field. "It's...agonizing to see her without him, and I think she's in pain too. She's always looking for him...around the house. It fucking kills me." She bit her bottom lip and thought for a moment. "I'm thinking of moving."

I glanced over at her.

Her features were distressed with a realization that I witnessed for the past couple weeks. "If I don't...I'm going to die in that house."

Deep down I agreed. "Where will you go?"

Her spirits lightened a little. "Oh, I'll probably move in with Olga and Thomas for a bit while the house is on the market. They have three rugrats running around so...might be kind of fun."

"And you have two girls."

She gave me a coy wink. "That's right. So, I'm sure it'll be one big bustling household."

I smiled. If this is what she thought was best, then I was happy. She seemed rather content with her decision too which was scarce nowadays.

We were silent for a couple moments as we watched the different dogs play on the field. "May I come with you to your appointment?"

She looked over at me curiously. "I mean, it's not anything exciting like I'm going to a football game, Brian. It's just an ultrasound."

I shrugged plainly, my grin still somewhat lingering. "I know, but someone yesterday was talking to me about emotional support. And I thought it might be a good idea."

Helga eyed me. "You really want to come?"

I nodded firmly. "...Maybe I could t-take you out to dinner afterwards?"

She hesitated and gave me a curious glance. "Where's dinner?"

"Wherever you w-want."

"Well, shit. I'm picking top dollar then. How does lobster sound? Because I've been really craving seafood lately." She playfully nudged me.

Goosebumps rose upon my arms and a blush bloomed on my cheeks. "It s-sounds wonderful."

XOXOX

I had stopped by the Pataki household again and dropped of the two dogs, then headed over to the doctor's office. I sat there patiently in the waiting room until Helga came out. There were some little children running around while their mothers either chatted away or talked on the phone.

I tried to think positive thoughts. I hoped she was okay, that there were no detrimental issues. I don't know what I'd do if I lost Helga. I didn't even want to think about it.

I sat there for a while, until a woman in a white lab coat came from a nearby door and asked for me. My name. "Mr. Biderman?"

"Yes, maam?" I asked with surprise. Was this good? Was this bad? Why had Helga not walked out?

"Mrs. Pataki is asking for you."

She was asking for me? Fear flooded into my veins. My worrisome thoughts hastened. I immediately thought the worst and stood up. I followed to nurse through the door, into the hallway and to a room.

I saw her. Helga laid upon the long seat that resided next to the monitor and ultrasound equipment. Her shirt was up, the ultrasound technician had the wand pressed against her abdomen. She immediately looked to me as I entered the room.

"Brian. Get over here and look at this." She spoke urgently and referenced to the monitor.

I'm not sure what I was expecting. As I got closer, I adjusted my glasses and focused my eyes on the screen.

The ultrasound tech tapped tapped her chin questioningly as she looked at the monitor. "You know, this is very peculiar. It is usually a rarity that a child forms in the womb with an oblong shaped head such as this. Usually the parent has something similar but-"

"THAT'S MY FOOTBALL SHAPED HEAD!" Helga exclaimed as her neck jutted up and her eyes were wide with astonishment and joy.

Helga was...pregnant? My hand covered my mouth as I looked at the monitor with the little grey blobs. One of them, a football shape. I stared in disbelief.

The tech continued to look at the monitor as she moved around the wand on Helga's abdomen to get a view from a different angle. The baby's head was the same shape another angle.

I didn't know what to think or feel, but truly that didn't matter. It only mattered how Helga felt.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared at the monitor screen incredulously. She moved her lips to herself, but I could read what she had said.

We did it, Arnold…we finally did it…

XOXOX

Later that evening, we laid on the grand lawn of the Pataki household, right by the fire pit Helga had burned most of their furniture in.

"What do you think of the name….Arielle?" She asked peacefully as we both gazed up at the stars.

I grinned to myself and responded humorously. "I think T-Turd Meister would be better."

She laughed aloud. What a beautiful sound. "Shut up."

"What if it's a b-boy?" I questioned.

She smiled faintly to herself as her hands little by little moved to her abdomen. "I haven't thought of any boy names yet…"

I continued to speculate. "What about A-Arnold Junior?"

Helga altered her view towards me and she raised her brow curiously.

I turned my head to her and my grin widened. "I think it's a b-boy."

She pondered for a second but nodded and returned her gaze back up at the stars. "I think you might be right." She replied breathlessly and inhaled deeply before she spoke again. Her voice was soft yet amused. "I never thought it would happen like this…"

I pried into her thoughts. "Like what?"

She just shook her head at what I assumed was an amusing memory. "How this baby probably came to be."

Her lips pursed as small tears pooled around her blue eyes. She released a winded chuckle. "It was my one year anniversary at running the company. Arnold wanted to go out and celebrate but I didn't want to. I just wanted to stay home and relax. He continued to persuade me, but I still said no." She let out a weaker laugh this time as the tears continued. "So he brought out a bottle of Merlot from the wine case in the garage, and we ended up getting drunk off our asses."

My smile remained as I listened to her story and she continued to shake her head in small increments.

"I didn't think he or I planned to get so drunk." Her lower lip curled and the tears became stronger. Her eyes strained. "And I was so mad when he spilled it on our white rug I-" Helga paused her story. Her mind wandered back in time. Her eyes sparkled with the water filling them. Within the moon. "We….we made love on that rug…and then the next day…he died." She finished with a fissure in her voice and eventually looked over at me.

I stared longingly back at her. Longing to take the pain away from those wholesome memories.

The stars twinkled above us, and as I gazed at her, I remembered my dream. I remembered Arnold's face. I remembered his words.

I shifted my arm on the grass. My fingers found hers, and to my surprise, she didn't move away. I took her hand in mine and I gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Helga continued to look at me. She then moved her body towards me on the lawn, and wrapped her arms around my neck, resulting in an embrace. I eventually wrapped my arms around her in a hug too. Something we had never done. It felt so comforting and right. Like something I had been waiting for my entire life. All my stumbles and hardships through this confusing existence led to this moment, and it was worth it.

"Thank you." She whispered gently next to my ear.

Her lips so close to my skin felt like heaven. "F-For what?"

"For not giving up on me...if I would have continued the way I was...I would have lost...everything."

It felt as if Arnold's presence was with us right at this moment. Encouraging me in my dreams and in reality. I stared up at the luminous stars in the black sky; my body felt heavy and satisfied. I could have fallen asleep with her like that, wrapped around me. I could have fallen asleep forever.

I closed my eyes and my lips moved, but I didn't say the words out loud. I would never give up on you...I love you.

And I could feel somewhere in the cosmos, Arnold was saying it too.