Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
Tom Petty/ Jeff Lynne
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Chapter Four
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{o}-{o}-{o}
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"You know, there is something vaguely insulting about you being able to dance better than me," Raven said, as Beyoncé's Work It Out faded and Christina Aguilar's version of Lady Marmalade took over.
"You keep forgetting, I took lessons," Mox said, grinning, as they moved on the dance floor. "And don't sell yourself short. You can keep the beat and that, according to Noella, is the most important thing."
"Noella could clomp around the floor like an elephant wearing a gunny sack and everyone would still say she was the best dancer in the world, or at least the most beautiful woman they ever met." Raven shook her head. "I hope Marc realizes how lucky he is."
"He does," Mox said, "Even better though? They both think they're lucky."
Raven's brows lifted and her expression softened. "You know... as sappy as this sounds, that is so sweet."
"Face it, Rave, you're tough as nails on the outside and soft as a Marshmallow on the inside."
"Yeah? Well, keep that under your hat, I don't want the world to know." Raven grinned.
"Too late," Mox said. "Those of us who know you and love you know the truth."
Raven stopped as if they were playing a game of 1-2-3 Red light instead of dancing. "What did you say?" she demanded.
Mox's brows furrowed, puzzled at this complete change in demeanor. They had been dancing at the edge of the dance floor, so he moved over to the side, so they were off the dance floor and gently guided her with him. "What's wrong?"
"You don't love me!" she said, shaking her head.
Mox saw more than just an objection, he saw terror in her eyes. "What's wrong?"
"You don't love me," she insisted. "Look, I didn't even want to come to this goddamned Prom thing. May wanted to go and she wanted to go with Roman, so I tried to plan it. I did not include me or you in the details. So, I don't know what you're thinking about tonight, but you're wrong. We're just friends."
For a moment, Mox felt like his entire world had shifted about three feet to the left and he was clueless about what was going on. He thought about going over to the table they'd been sitting at, but Trinity and Luis along with Roman and May were sitting there. He debated if he should run and get May, thinking she might make her sister feel more comfortable, but dismissed that. He had noticed earlier that other kids were slipping in and out of a side door. He nodded in that direction. "Let's go outside for a minute, okay? We need to talk."
"Oh yeah, let's go off alone somewhere," Raven said, sounding both scared and bitter.
"Raven," Mox stared at her, shaking her head. "Remember? You dislocated a kid's jaw and broke another guy's wrist. It's a blow to my ego, but with what you know, you could kick my ass."
Raven bit her lower lip. "That's true," she said, but her good humor wasn't restored and her eyes were still overly bright with tears.
He didn't think she'd give a verbal agreement, so he just took her arm and led her to the door. She went willingly. He did grab something off one table and stick it in his pocket, but he did it quickly.
Outside was a fenced area with several tables. A few kids were sitting there, some smoking cigarettes, some others smoking weed. For a brief moment, Mox wondered why there wasn't a teacher or some rational adult out there to stop the weed smoking at least, but then figured it was none of his business. He guided Raven to a small table near the gate to the parking lot and motioned her to sit down. He sat across the table from her. "Okay, spill it, Rave." He handed her the item he'd removed from the table.
"Why did you say you loved me?" she asked. She looked at the item that had been handed to her, which was one of the cloth napkins from the table. She shrugged and wiped her eyes with it.
"Because I do," Mox said. He was feeling like both of them were speaking a different language, where the words all sounded the same, but had an entirely different meaning. "C'mon, you're my original fan and I'm yours. You love wrestling as much as I do, what's not to love?"
She just stared at him, face flushed, eyes wide and bright and suddenly he knew, they were speaking a different language where the words did sound the same "Aw, fuck, Rave, do you think I agreed to this because I want something to happen between us?"
"Isn't that the point of Prom?" she countered. "To break down those barriers, find true teenage love and possibly lose your virginity? That's exactly why I didn't want to go to this thing. Because that shit doesn't interest me. It might never interest me, or maybe someday I'll get over it, but for right now, no way."
"Me too!" he said, figuring he'd better get his foot in the door of this argument. "First, I only agreed to do this prom thing because Roman and the rest of my family seemed to think that I ought to indulge in at least one teenage ritual. Roman threatened not to go with May if I didn't go with you, and just like you, I knew this whole prom thing was important to them. And all that teenage mating ritual stuff, as you call it? None of those are the reasons why I love you."
She narrowed her eyes and looked at him, but said nothing, waiting for him to continue.
"I love you like I love Roman and Lance. Well, maybe not quite as strong, but close. You're the sister I would have wanted. Yeah, I have a half sister and she's pretty cool, but I can't help but sometimes think it would have been so cool if I'd had a younger sister like you and instead of my shit past, we were both living a normal life. We'd both watch wrestling, and beg whoever our parents were to buy us wrestling action figures."
A small smile began at the corners of Raven's mouth. "May and I have one of those plastic storage tubs full of wrestling action figures we used to play with. We used to make toy rings for them too, with boxes and strings. Our grandfather would cut wooden dowels down to the right size so we could use them for ring posts."
"See? I would have loved that." Mox said.
"I'm being an ass," Raven said with a sigh. "I should have known I could trust you."
"I've gotta admit, I'm a little surprised that you got so worried I might try to kiss you or something," Mox said. "Considering, as I said before, you could likely kick my ass."
"But I never would," Raven said. "That's part of the problem."
"I don't consider that a problem," Mox said, grinning. "I think that's a damned fine thing."
Her brows furrowed and she drew in a deep breath. "I dreamed I kissed you once!" she blurted out. Before he could comment, she continued. "I don't know why, I didn't do anything, but I had this dream where I kissed you. I don't remember where we were or what we were doing, but I kissed you and you kissed me and neither of us hated it." And that was wrong. We both know we're messed up about that stuff. I don't know your full story, but I know enough that neither of us are ready for that type of thing and we might never be, but I still dreamed we kissed and I still dreamed we didn't hate it and... it confused the hell out of me."
"Dreams are just that, dreams," Mox said. "And if we want to play true confessions? I told a buddy of mine that I was pretty sure I was straight because I always thought that if you and I hadn't had our messed up pasts, we would have probably been playing suck face last summer at SPWA despite the rules."
She laughed. "Suck face? That makes it sound like something from Alien. Like we're going to suck so hard that we'll both swallow each other's face."
"Lance would say that's impossible," Mox said, smiling. "Look, do you think we've done our prom time? I was told there's no shame in leaving early, so want to do that? Go somewhere where it's not all about romance? Maybe somewhere where we can get good coffee? Because yeah, the dancing was fun, the food wasn't bad, but I'm a little tired of the whole teenage mating ritual as you'd say."
"Caffeine Infusion isn't far," Raven said. "They've got some pretty strong stuff, if that's what you're into, and they're open all night."
"That sounds perfect," Mox said. "Do you want to tell your sisters we're leaving? So they don't go looking for us?"
Raven nodded. "Do you want to wait here?" She motioned to the gate, "We can leave through there, I'll bet."
"Sure," Mox said. "You'll probably find Roman and May together-" he began then stopped.
As if mentioning their names had cast some appearance spell the two walked out the door, together. "Whew," May said. "It's cool out here, I like it."
"It was getting pretty hot in there," Roman agreed. He had his suit coat slung over his shoulder.
"Hey!" Mox called out, "Over here."
They came over, sitting down in the two empty seats. "I didn't know you were out here!" May said.
"You haven't noticed anything but lover boy since you got here." Raven nodded in the direction of Roman. "You probably forgot we even came with you."
"Of course I didn't!" May protested.
"Raven and I were thinking of leaving," Mox said. "She said there's a coffee shop nearby that's open all night. We thought we'd go and impress them with being the best dressed patrons in the place. But, we didn't want to leave without telling you."
"About being the best dressed," Raven said hesitantly. "I actually have a change of clothes in my backpack." Shelly had almost had a heart attack when Raven insisted on bringing along her backpack and might not have gotten out the door if she hadn't promised Shelly that she would check it into the cloak room before they even went into the prom room. "Would it bother you if I got changed?"
Mox pretended to contemplate this, then shrugged. "As long as you don't mind if I take off the coat and tie and unbutton at least two buttons on my shirt."
"Deal," Raven said, rising to her feet. "I'll be right back."
As she rushed inside, May smiled. "I'll bet fifty bucks she'll go to the ladies room to change before she comes back."
"I"m not talking that bet," Mox said. "I'm not stupid. But will your other sister pitch a fit because she's going to stuff that dress in her backpack?"
"If I know my sister, the dress is made with material that can stand it," May said. "Shelly will scold the hell out of her, but she'll know how to fix it."
"So, how many after parties have you been invited to?" Mox teased, changing the subject.
Roman shrugged. "A lot," he said. "Not as many as Shelly and Colin,but a lot."
"And most, if not all of them, have more to do with Roman than me," May admitted cheerfully. "Most of the girls and a few of the guys are hoping he's going to transfer up here."
Roman shrugged, his cheeks turning a little red. "But I only have eyes for you, Baby Girl."
"All right," Mox said firmly. "You're officially making me sick to my stomach, stop it now, please."
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Raven came out a few minutes later, dressed in jeans, and a t-shirt with a denim jacket over that. She even had sneakers on, which surprised Mox. Her backpack hadn't looked that full when she brought it. She came over and Mox noticed she was chewing her lip. "Are you ready to go?"
Her brow furrowed. "I don't know," she said.
"What's going on?" May asked, reaching up to take her sister's hand, as if to guide her into sitting down.
Raven refused to be soothed and moved her hand away. "I heard Shasta Green talking in the ladies room while I was changing. She's Ty's date."
May's expression went from worried to alarmed. "Ty is one of Barry's friends," she informed the two men. "He's the guy whose jaw Raven dislocated." She looked at her sister. "So, okay, what's happening?"
"Barry rented a room in the hotel," Raven said. He told his dad it was so he and his friends could have an after party, but according to Shasta, all he plans is to take Lajila up there."
"Lajila?" May said, looking surprised. "Lajila Burman? That isn't her style at all."
"No, it's not," Raven said. "And Shasta is worried because she knows Barry had some Ecstasy, the stuff they call Molly and he already gave her some, he bragged to Ty about it, that he was able to slip it to her without her knowing."
"What?" Mox asked. He knew exactly the drug they were talking about, he'd been given it more than a few times in his life along with Rohypnol and a few others designed to either render him close to unconscious before being raped, or to make it so he was so messed up he couldn't say no. It didn't matter that he was pretty much forced to have sex with whoever he was told, that didn't stop people from giving him things to make him more pliable.
"This isn't good," May said.
"Look, we already know Barry is a creep," Raven said, her fingers flexing. "But Mox noticed she looked wasted and I know her parents are the type to have a heart attack if she did drugs, willingly or not. I want to go and kill Barry, but even more, I want to get Lajila away from him. Because I have a feeling once he gets her up to that room, he's going to make her do stuff she wouldn't do if she was sober. I mean, I don't think she'd even want to go to the room if she was sober."
"So let's get her out of there," Mox said, rising to his feet. "You're right, if he's been slipping her stuff, she's not in any condition to consent to anything. We have to rescue her."
Roman nodded, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "But we don't want to make a huge scene either. I have an idea. But considering the past, Raven, I want you to stay as far away as possible. So, why don't you find Shelly and tell her the four of us are going to go to the coffee shop?"
"But I want-" Raven started, but Mox shook his head.
"You've already taken heat from that bastard and his friends, let us handle this, okay?"
Raven looked as if she might either burst into tears, or start yelling, but nodded.
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May and Mox were able to identify Barry and Lajila the moment they stepped back inside. The two of them were dancing together, and unlike earlier, Lajila seemed more aware of her surroundings. "She looks okay," Roman commented.
"He's gonna redose her, I'll bet," Mox said. "She was trashed earlier. She's coming down, but if he's got more he'll make sure she gets it. Molly makes your brain messed up. You do things you normally wouldn't even dream of doing."
"And you're 100% sure this is not what she'd want?" Roman asked May.
"Yes," May said. "Her parents are strict. Not mean, but strict. She's told Raven and I that they want her to save herself for marriage, and she doesn't really have a problem with that. Maybe if she and Barry had been a couple for awhile, she'd feel different, but as far as I know, this is the first time they've gone out. She's not going to want to lose her virginity in a one night stand at the prom."
"Okay," Roman said, nodding. "Let's go do it."
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Crystal by New Order was playing, and Roman and May joined the other dancers, moving closer and closer to Barry and Lajila. It sure would be nice if we'd met earlier, Roman thought, but it was too late for that. When they were close enough, he drew on all his inner confidence and nodded to May, then he effectively interjected himself between Barry and Lajila. "Hey pretty one," Roman said. "You promised me you'd save me a dance."
"I did?" Lajila said, her eyes were overly bright. For the life of her, she couldn't remember promising a dance to this gorgeous man in front of her, in fact the whole night was hazy, but she sure wasn't going to object.
Roman curled one hand around her waist and danced her away from Barry.
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Before Barry could object, May cut in front of him, letting Roman and Lajila dance away. "Hey, Barry," she said brightly. "I guess since Roman's dancing with your date, you can dance with me."
"You hate my guts," Barry said, standing on the dance floor without moving. "You and your whole stupid family thinks I molested your bratty sister because that's what she said when she broke my wrist. You don't want to dance with me."
"Well, you're right about the first part." May said. Crystal ended and Fallin' by Alicia Keys began playing, Mox had done his part, got the DJ to play a slow song. Before Barry could object, she wrapped her arms around him, using her considerable strength to keep him from getting away from her without making it a noticeable struggle. "Don't protest, Barry," she whispered into his ear. "Move to the music, pretend you're enjoying this, and no matter what, do not forget that my knee is dangerously close to your family jewels." She couldn't see his face, but she hoped his eyes were wide. She saw Mox heading close to her, to watch out for her, which she thought was rather sweet, considering she was just as capable of breaking Barry's wrist or just about any other bone in his body as her sister had been back in Junior High. Barry did not believe in sports. He was naturally skinny, but May figured he spent his spare time playing video games and searching the internet for porn.
"What the fuck is your problem," Barry hissed back. "And give me one reason why I shouldn't make a scene. Everyone knows you Parker girls are strong. Your fucking sister broke my wrist."
"Don't forget," May said, holding him tighter. "My knee is dying to make the acquaintance of your testicles. So, just keep your lips zipped and listen and you may come out of this still able to reproduce and not singing soprano the rest of your life." May was amazed at how easy the words came from her, but all she had to do was remember the look on Raven's face when she told her family what Barry had been doing and why she had broken his wrist. She couldn't take that away from Raven, but she could stop Lajila from having something probably worse happen to her.
Barry moved his hands up to make it look more like they were dancing and said nothing. May knew that the arms around her waist was to save face. She didn't care.
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As soon as the slower, romantic song began playing, Roman swept Lajila into his arms as if they might be long lost lovers. She didn't offer a single objection. He leaned over, putting his lips near her hair as if to feel the softness. She did have very pretty, very soft, straight black hair, but it wasn't his intention to nuzzle her hair. "Are you okay, Lajila? Feeling a little dizzy?"
"Yeah," she admitted, her voice sounding almost dreamy. "I haven't felt... myself since we got here, but it's been kind of nice." She sighed. "Everyone is so wonderful. I never knew how wonderful the people in this school are. Although I don't remember you, but you're so nice, too."
There was no nice way to tell someone this, and Roman didn't even try. "Your date slipped you some Molly or something similar," he said, still whispering in her ear, as he nuzzled her hair. He knew there were girls watching them, feeling sorry for May. He was acting like a douche bag. May understands. "You're high. You're coming down, we have reason to believe he's going to slip you more and then take you upstairs. He's rented a room for the night. Do I have to spell out what he's likely to do when you get there?"
As he hoped, the words seemed to sober her up. "He wouldn't do that!"
"Yes, he would," Roman said. "Your friend Raven overheard Shasta discussing this in the ladies room. Barry is bad news. Do you want to spend the night with him?"
"No!" She pulled away a bit so she could look into his eyes. "I-I'm not that type of girl, I mean, not that there's anything wrong with-"
"It's okay," Roman said. "You don't have to explain yourself. Look, my friends and I are going to leave the prom to go have some coffee. Why don't you come with us? We'll make sure you get home safely, too. May and Raven Parker are my friends, you trust them, right?"
Lajila looked stunned as the news washed over her, but she nodded.
"Okay then, just play along." He danced her to the edge of the dance floor, onto the rug, then let go of her. Mox was there, along with Raven who stood out in her casual clothing, but seemed a lot more comfortable.
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"Okay, Barry, this is how it's going to go down," May whispered into his ear. "Lajila is going to come with me and my friends for coffee. You will not object, you will do nothing. When we are gone, you can use your hotel room for its intended purpose and have an after prom party, or you can go and have sex with yourself. If you attempt to stop this? I will raise a fuss, claiming you offered me drugs. Remember, I'm one of those pure as snow Parker girls you hate, so of course I'd freak out if someone offered me those evil drugs. And I'll bet the last thing you want is for someone to search you. I won't break your wrist like my sister, she saved your ass by doing that. I'll just take Lajila to the nearest emergency room and have her blood tested. And I will do everything in my power to get her to go to the police. And I will find a reason to get charges to stick." As she spoke, she curled her lips into her prettiest, most innocent smiles for anyone who might be watching them.
"I wish you luck," Barry said back, but his voice was low, it was clear he didn't want anyone to overhear them.
"We'll get the drug charges to stick," she said. "Because they are going to find it on you when I scream and they search you. Do you want to take a chance? Your father may have been willing to blame my sister for defending herself, but will he be so eager to believe someone accidentally planted drugs on you? So, let's take the easy way out of this. Lajila is with my friends and my sister. When this song ends, we will go our separate ways. You can tell your friends whatever you want as to why Lajila is leaving without you. Just remember if you try to smear her reputation? She'll have a story to tell too. Raven, myself, Lajila, we have pretty good imaginations, so you can imagine what reasons we'll come up with for ditching you, and they won't be nice. So, just go to your friends, say that Lajila is so wholesome and boring that she'd rather have coffee with her friends than to party with a real man. That's about as safe as it will get for you."
Barry said nothing, but the song was ending. May moved slowly out of his arms. He made no objections, and in fact seemed happier the further away from him she got. They said nothing to each other as she turned and went over to her friends.
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They stayed quite late at the coffee shop, giving Lajila time to get the drugs out of her system. She lamented her choices, and the others assured her it wasn't her fault. "I just wanted to go to Prom so badly, and Barry was the only one who asked me."
"You did nothing wrong," Raven said. "He did. All blame is his."
"But the important thing is that you're safe," May said.
"But if he did it to me he might do it to..." Lajila began, then let her voice trail off.
"We can't do anything about that now," May said.
"But you can be vigilant," Mox suggested. "Watch out for him. Maybe warn other girls of what can happen. It sounds like that Shasta girl in the bathroom might be someone to start with. She suspected what was happening. Tell her she was right. Form a safety group. I mean, you can't bust him on tonight, nobody saw him slipping Lajila the Molly, even if we could prove it was in her system. Anyone could have done it. But, you know, you could let the news go around school that he's a potential rapist."
May nodded. "Maybe we'll get Shelly in on this."
"If we can, word will be around in ten minutes," Raven said, but she didn't look very cheerful. Mox reached over and squeezed her shoulder. As he was doing it, he wondered if it was a good idea, but she looked at him and smiled, it was a bleak smile, but at that point, he was willing to settle.
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They took the subway, making sure Lajila got home first. When her parents expressed surprise that her date wasn't with her, Lajila told them in a voice that never wavered, that Barry turned out to not be the person she thought he was, and that she had decided to leave him and go to the coffee shop with her friends. Raven couldn't be sure, because her parents were a bit hard to read, but she thought Dr. Burman, her father had a glint in his eyes that said he was proud of his daughter and her willingness to refuse to stand up to someone who wouldn't treat her right.
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When they went to the converted library, to no one's surprise, Michelle and Ferris were still awake, wanting to hear all about Prom. "You're going to be exhausted," May scolded. "The little ones are going to wake up before you have a chance to go to sleep!"
"I know," Michelle said, as she made hot chocolate. "But it's worth it. We want to hear all about the Prom."
Even so, they didn't talk long. And the incident with Lajila wasn't mentioned. "Maybe someday," Raven told Mox later. "But right now, it's enough that we rescued her, we don't need to talk about it."
"I get it," Mox said.
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Mox and Roman were spending the night in the guest room, which was also Shelly's sewing room, with two twin beds. "You're lucky," May said, as she showed them the room. "Mom made Shelly clean it up. Normally it's a minefield of pins and bolts of cloth."
"Well, I'll be sure to thank your mother and Shelly tomorrow," Roman said, smiling.
"Where's Raven?" Mox asked, looking around. "Did she go to bed?"
May shrugged. "I don't think so. I think she would have come with us if she was going to go right to bed. She's probably sitting on the front steps. It's been... well, it's been a tough night for her in a lot of ways. She probably wants a little time to process."
Mox nodded. "I'm gonna go sit with her." He left the room calling out softly, "Don't worry, I remember how to get there."
When he was gone, Roman looked at May. "You know, that was not how I expected the night to end, but we did a good thing."
"We did," May agreed. "And yeah, I didn't expect that ending either."
"I know you're new to all this dating stuff," Roman said, his voice soft, because the door was open, and they didn't want to wake anyone. "So, I'm going to ask you, can I kiss you?"
"You'd better," May said, blushing. "Or I'm going to have to lie in my diary."
"We can't have that," Roman said, then he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, gently at first, but as she became more comfortable and wrapped her arms around his, it heated up, becoming less sweet and more passionate.
"Baby Girl," Roman said, when they had drawn apart, both a little flushed. "For someone who has no experience? You're damned good at this."
"So are you," May said. Then she sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"The whole distance thing," May admitted. "It figures the only guy I've ever wanted to date is miles away from me."
"I know," Roman said. Their arms were still around each other. "But we're not a country apart. We'll find ways to be in the same places at the same time."
"Are you saying we do a long distance romance?" May quirked one brow. "Because everything I've ever heard say those just don't work."
"I agree," Roman said. "So, how about we play it like this... when we're in the same area, we go out. When we're not, we're free to see other people.'
"What if we meet someone who we like and doesn't like that idea?" she asked.
He leaned over and kissed her again. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," he said softly.
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Raven was sitting on the front steps, just as May predicted. Mox closed the door softly behind him, then sat down next to her. "Waiting for the sunrise?"
"I might be," she admitted. "If I don't go to bed soon, I will be." She looked at Mox. "I know you have to fly out of here tomorrow, well, no, later this afternoon. You don't have to keep me company."
"I know," Mox said, "But I can also sleep on the plane. And then when I get home. And, I like spending time with you."
"In a brotherly way, right?" Raven smiled.
"Yep."
Raven sighed. "It would be a lot easier on me if I were normal. If we both were normal, and we could be just like everyone else our age, do some necking, maybe get to third base and all."
"Maybe," Mox said. "But maybe not. Maybe if we were normal, we'd get all into it, dating, kissing, all of that. And then we'd break up. And maybe it would be bad, so we ended up hating each other."
Raven laughed a little bitterness coming through. "Only you would find the bright side to being fucked up."
"I don't think we're fucked up," Mox said. "I think we're both injured and it's messed with us, yeah, but one day we'll find our way out of it. We're already headed in the right direction. But, I think we both worry too much because we're afraid everyone else thinks we're fucked up. And maybe they do. But you know? They aren't us. We have a right to determine how long it's going to take to fix ourselves. We're not a burden on society, so why does it matter? A few weeks, a few months, a few years? We shouldn't allow anyone to put a timeline on our healing, we'll get there."
"What's there?" Raven asked. "A normal sex life?"
"There is whatever we decide it should be," Mox said. "There is a place where we're at peace with whatever we decide we are." He grinned, turning slightly so it was easier to face her. "In the meantime, all these crazy things like proms, weddings, whatever, those stupid occasions where it's almost mandatory to have a date? We can do that for each other. We can put on fancy clothing, and make everyone think we're normal. It will get them off our asses and we can have fun. Because yeah, Raven, I like spending time with you. Again, you're the younger sister I wish I could have had. And for that? I'll always love you."
She turned too so she could see him easier. "I know I have Calvin, and I love him dearly, but yeah, you can be an older brother too. Because you're right, maybe we're still trying to get there, but for now, yeah, I like your company... and I love you too, just like I love him and my other sibs."
Smiling, he put his arm around her. She didn't object, she moved closer. And the two of them looked out, watching the sun just beginning to rise.
The End
Author's Notes: Thanks if you read all of it. I'm pretty sure this was not one of my better stories, although I tried. Can't win 'em all, right?