It's been awhile... Sorry...

I kinda feel bad for making Jared an even bigger jerk than he actually is. Not to say he isn't a jerk, but still.

Warning for homophobia

Evan's buzzing phone woke him up.

He checked the time - 4:54 am. 36 minutes before his alarm went off. Evan resisted the temptation to go back to sleep and got up to greet the morning.

But first, what caused his phone to buzz? Or rather, who? The only people whose numbers he had were his mom (who only made sure he had the necessities), Dr. Sherman (mostly check-ins and rescheduling appointments), and Jared (who never really messaged him anyway).

Oh, and Connor. Evan forgot about that. He turned on his phone.

Sure enough, the text message was from Connor.

Connor Murphy: Day 1

Evan sighed, typing in a reply.

Evan Hansen: Day 1

Maybe it was just Evan, but Connor seemed to be hanging around him more often. When Evan commented on it to Jared, the other boy just laughed.

"Maybe he has a crush on you! Figures he'd be a fag, he's weird enough to be one."

Evan didn't say anything after that.

The day passed in a blur. Evan vaguely noted his amount of homework piling up, but figured he'd have plenty of time after school to get it done. His mother would be working a shift at the hospital again that afternoon.

"There's this party going on tomorrow at the MacNamara's." Jared said as a way of greeting when Evan approached his car at the end of the day. "So I won't be able to take you home. You'll have to get a ride."

Evan simply nodded, getting into the car. The walk home from school was only about 15 minutes, so it wouldn't be too bad. Evan ignored the tiny pang of hurt that Jared hadn't invited him along. Jared didn't really like Evan wanting to leave early. Or not drinking. Especially that.

Jared soon pulled up by Evan's house, swiftly shooed him out of his car and drove away. Evan entered the house.

Evan finished his homework quickly, then popped in Tangled, like he had been planning yesterday. He quietly sang along to the songs while doodling little trees and flowers on a scrap piece of notebook paper. He didn't think he was particularly good at singing, and his flowers didn't look quite right, but no one else was home and this was what he wanted to do.

Soon enough, the movie finished and the TV screen turned blue. Evan didn't immediately turn it off. He continued working on a doodle, humming a weird mis-mash of the song tunes. Eventually other Disney songs worked their way in.

Mother knows best, listen to your mother, it's a scary world out there- poor unfortunate souls, so sad-

His phone buzzed, interrupting his steady stream of music.

Connor…?

Evan opened the message, curious. He stared in surprise at a cat meme.

How was he supposed to reply to that? He couldn't leave it on read, that would be rude. What was it normal people wrote in response to something funny? LMAO? Evan was a bit uncomfortable with that. LOL? Who said that anymore? Writing out 'hahahaha' felt wrong, also. Evan settled for a laugh-cry emoji. That was normal, right?

Did Connor think he was weird?

Ah, no, Connor definitely thought he was weird. He didn't want Evan to talk to him, remember? And how could he not think he was weird? Evan was weird. He fell out of a tree, for goodness sake.

Just a weird ball of anxiety, that's what he was.

Welp, that's enough self-deprecation for the day. Time to make some dinner, then go to bed. He had school tomorrow.

Connor: Day 2

Sent at 3:02 AM.

What was he doing up so late? Or early? Evan hoped he got some sleep.

Evan worried about this all day. Enough so that Jared broke out of his excited chatter about the party later that day to complain about Evan's lack of listening.

"I-I'm listening!" Evan said hastily.

"Good!" Jared slammed a binder of paper in front of him. "Since I'm going to the party, and you aren't going to be doing anything at home, can you write my essay for me? And do the rest of my homework."

"Um, isn't that cheating?"

"Well…" Jared shrugged. "I've got to go to this party, or my social status will plummet. But I've got to do this essay, or my grades will get crushed and my parents won't let me go to anymore parties."

"Uh…"

"You don't want to be the one that makes me fail, do you?"

Evan gulped. "I'll do it, I guess. But only this once! Never again!"

"Thanks, Treeboy!"

Evan slipped the heavy binder into his backpack (retrieved after exactly 7 minutes and 34 seconds of dithering and several apologies) and spaced out for the rest of the day. In fact, he only zoned back in when a loud honk sounded from the road next to him as he was walking home.

"Hey, Hansen!" Connor shouted from the driver's seat. "I didn't know you walked home."

Evan shrugged. "N-normally I don't…"

Connor jerked his head. "Get in, then."

"H-huh?"

"Get in!"

"Okay!"

Evan had to admit his confusion. Didn't Connor not want to be seen around him? That's what he said at therapy. Why was Connor talking to him, then? He shouldn't feel obligated to! Oh no, did Evan mess up somehow? Was Connor going to yell at him?

Evan sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat, hugging his backpack shyly. "...So, where's your sister?"

"She's going to some stupid party." Connor replied. "Didn't even invite me. Rude."

"Oh. Uh, did you want to go?"

"Nah." Connor hummed. "Would have been nice to be invited, though."

Evan knew exactly how he felt. "Jared's at that party, too."

"Figures." Connor snorted. "Hey-"

Oh no, here it comes, Evan thought with dread.

"-Are you doing anything after school?"

"Uh," Not yet, then. Connor must be really angry. Evan shifted uncomfortably. "...Homework."

"Lame." Connor turned into Evan's neighborhood. "Mind if I hang around?"

"What?"

"Can I crash at your place for a bit?"

"Why?"

Connor's expression darkened. "My parents are being annoying. Dad tried to throw out my meds, and Mom keeps bothering me about you."

"Oh." Guess that's what this is about. Evan felt small. "I'm sorry."

"That's not your fault." Connor said. "Never think that it is your fault when it comes to my parents."

"Sorry."

"... So, can I stay or not?"

"Eh…" Oh, his house was a mess right now, wasn't it? "Yeah… turn here."

Connor pulled into Evan's driveway and followed him to the front door. Evan unlocked the door and led him inside.

"Sorry about the mess…"

Connor snorted. "You think this is a mess? Wait 'til you see my room."

Evan dropped his backpack by the coffee table. "Uh… do you want something to drink?"

"Water, I guess."

Evan walked to the kitchen and pulled out a glass, filled it then went back to the living room. "Here. Please don't spill, Mom'll kill me."

"Thanks." Connor pulled a bottle of pills out of his bag, quickly retrieving one. Evan panicked for a second, before recognizing the pills to be for depression. It must be time for Connor to take his meds.

"Er, what do you want to do?" Evan asked hesitantly.

"You've gotta do homework, right?" Connor asked, flopping onto the couch. "I'll just watch TV or something until you're done."

"Uh, okay… here's the remote." Evan handed it over. "You can watch whatever you want."

Evan sat down on the floor by the coffee table and pulled out his homework. He didn't have much, having finished most of it yesterday, but he had new assignments to take care of. But he did have Jared's work to worry about, and he knew for a fact that Jared put things off until the last minute. There was bound to be a lot of it…

For a good twenty minutes, the living room was full of the quiet scratching of a pencil and soft natural sounds from a nature documentary.

"Didn't you just do that?"

Evan looked up at Connor. Connor was staring at Jared's copy of their math worksheet, eyebrows furrowed.

"Uh." Evan froze. "No?"

"I'm sure you did." Connor leaned forward. "That's Castillow's homework."

"Yeah- hey!"

Connor snatched the homework away. "Why does this have Kleinman's name on it?"

"I-It's not what it looks like!" Evan snatched it back, carefully smoothing out the creases.

"Really?" Connor scoffed. "'Cause it looks like you're doing his homework for him."

"It's really not! He wanted to go to that party, but-" Evan grew more flustered with every word. "-He couldn't write his essay at the same time, a-and I figured I might as well help him with the rest of his homework, too!"

"He should do his own work." Connor said angrily. "Idiots… Zoe tried to get me to do the same thing once. The teachers noticed the difference in quality immediately."

Evan's eyes widened and he looked at the homework in panic. Were the answers at Jared's level? Was he going to be caught? Would Jared get in trouble? What if he stopped being Evan's friend-

Connor sighed, then grabbed the remote. He paused the documentary and slipped down onto the floor next to Evan. "Give it here, Blueboy."

"Blueboy?"

Connor glanced at Evan. "You're always wearing blue."

"Oh." Evan picked at his shirt self-consciously.

"What kind of grades does Kleinman normally get?"

"Uh… C's?"

Connor sighed. "Of course." He started scribbling away on a piece of loose leaf.

"Um, shouldn't we be giving him the best answers?" Evan asked hesitantly.

"Nope." Connor popped the P. "He just asked for it to get done, so it will. Now, give him this and tell him to copy it, that way it's in his handwriting."

"...Why are you doing this?"

"What, helping you?" Connor shrugged. "I'm bored, I guess."

Evan's eyes widened. "You didn't have to keep the documentary on if it was boring!"

Several moments passed as Connor put the finishing touches on the homework. Connor peeked at his phone. "Ugh. I should probably go home now."

"O-oh, okay…"

Connor stood up. "Uh. Have you had dinner with your mom yet?"

Evan winced. "Not yet… Mom's been working late… Have you washed your hair…?"

Connor ran a hand through his hair, looking at it thoughtfully. "No… maybe I should, though."

And with that, he left. The front door shut with a "Later, Blueboy!"

...Did Evan have a nickname? That's a friend thing, right? Were they friends?

...Evan kind of hoped they were. It'd be nice, having another friend.

Jared acts like he has a SQUIP, doesn't he?

He doesn't but ehhhh…

Anyway, I hope you guys like the chapter! Now, I am not diagnosed with anxiety or depression, so it's not like I have any personal experience to draw from. So I've got to rely on the internet. If any of you guys feel comfortable enough to tell me some things you struggle with, or experiences you have had, feel free to PM me or review if you want to. THERE IS NO PRESSURE. You guys are so brave and I am proud of you for dealing with this to the best of your ability.

Go check out my other stories (BlackPolaris on and AO3) and my Instagram (projectprismatic). Please review, follow, and favorite! I love hearing what you guys have to say!

Appreciate you all! ~BlackPolaris