Listen, I just saw the movie and I'm not okay in a lot of ways. One of them being that these two never got to kiss...

Disclaimer: I do not own Seishun Buta Yarou.

Rascal And Bunny Girl

Something isn't right…

Normally, Sakuta never would have dared to think of a date with Mai as anything less than absolutely perfect. It's a fairly nice evening for December, with the city all aglow with dazzling Christmas lights and a light flurry blanketing the streets.

And Mai looks as beautiful as ever - if not more so - in her cream-colored trench coat, black leggings, and pink scarf, with a slight rosy hint to her cheeks.

It isn't the scenery or the person he's with that feels off to him, but rather his own senses.

He can't really feel the chill of the snow or the warmth of Mai's hand in his. He can't fully hear the sounds of the passing cars and bustling people, and what he does hear sounds muffled, as if he's underwater. He can't even make out what Mai is saying to him, or what he says in return.

It just doesn't feel right.

But what he does feel is the instant Mai wrenches her hand free from his, bringing it instead to clutch at her chest in a sudden, agonized frenzy. He's seen this happen before, to someone else…

He calls out for her as she staggers back, gripped by some unseen anguish that he can only assume is attacking her heart. Through the din of static, he finally makes out her voice.

"It hurts…. Sakuta…"

He shouts her name again, but still no sound comes. He tries to reach for her, but his arm and hand don't move as he wants them to. Instead, he ends up shoving her back, right into the street.

A car skids on the ice. There's a crash, a yelp, a thud-

"Sakuta!"

His eyes fly open to find a familiar ceiling above him.

Everything slowly trickles back to him. He's at home, and it's dark. Mai had stayed over again, and since Sakuta always offered his room to her, he was here in the living room in his blankets on the floor. But as he gets his bearings, he comes to understand the call of his name had come from somewhere much closer than all the way back at his bedroom.

As he turns his head he spots her, dressed in her usual winter sleepwear of sweatpants and a sweater. She must have snuck in to sleep beside him for one reason or another.

But what troubles him is that she looks just as frazzled as he feels right now. She's sitting up, hunched with her knees near her chest, breathing harshly. She stares at him with scared eyes, and he can tell she's trembling from much more than the cold.

"Sakuta…" There are tears in her eyes, and just the sight of her - coupled with the disturbing nightmare's afterimages - has Sakuta on the verge of tears as well.

"Mai-san…" Slowly, he pushes himself up, feeling groggy but alert at the same time. He reaches out for her, and she raises her arms to do the same. Sakuta pulls her in close, locking both arms around her back, covering her as much as he possibly can. He can feel her heart racing, feel how much she's shaking all over.

"Thank goodness…" Her voice is small and thin, but cracked with relief. "It was just another nightmare…"

"Mai-san…" He forgets about his own nightmare for the moment, giving his full attention to her now. "Are you all right? Was it the same one as usual?"

He feels her nod against his shoulder.

"We were on a date. It was snowing, and it was so lovely. But then a car came and you slipped and-"

"I get it," he says. "You don't have to think about it again." He strokes his fingers gently down her back and through her hair, hushing her.

The only time he'd ever heard her cry out loud was back at the train station in a time that felt so far away. But now she resorts to that quiet, stifled sobbing, suppressing it for fear of being too loud and waking Kaede. She hiccups, choked little things that make her chest and shoulders shudder.

And as much as he hates seeing her like this, it's indescribably better than seeing her as he had in the nightmares.

Her arms squeeze his torso more tightly, and he pulls her in almost greedily, seeking her warmth and softness just as badly as he wishes to share his own. He can feel her tears seeping into his sweater, feel a few more hiccups shaking her.

He just can't erase the images from his head; Mai gripping her chest in unspeakable pain, her heart failing her, making her suffer while he could only watch.

And then the car, the impact, sound of her body thudding into the snow-

It all still felt so real, because he'd lived at least a fraction of it before.

Reliving it again in his mind, Sakuta finally loses his composure now. He shuts his eyes, forcing out tears in the process. And just when he feels he's going to break, Mai carefully eases away and puts him back together.

"Sakuta…"

He feels warm hands on either side of his face, though her fingers are still trembling the slightest bit. He manages to open his eyes and finds his gaze boring directly into hers. Her eyes are tearful, still swirling with lasting fragments of distress, but there's a clarity throughout the haze. She smiles, just a tiny one, but it's real.

"You dreamt it too, didn't you?"

He swallows past the thickness in his throat and nods.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry." Her fingers glide across his cheeks, catching the tears. "But no matter how many times we might dream about it, that isn't our reality anymore. This is. A world where both of us, and Makinohara-san, can all live together." Her hands travel down to rest on the tops of his shoulders as she lifts herself up onto her knees a little.

And then Sakuta almost believes he's dreaming again.

He feels a small, warm contact as she presses her lips to the center of his forehead.

It takes him a moment to register it - that it's real - their first kiss, so to speak. It sends a trill through him, like a tiny bell or something, enough to wake him from the last of the nightmares. If not for the fact that she's filling every inch of his senses, he may not have believed it was real.

"Mai-san…"

"Sorry." She sits back down and returns her embrace to his torso. "This is all I can do right now."

"Not at all," he murmurs. "This is more than enough."

"I was hoping it could be under slightly more romantic circumstances."

"We can save that for when we both use our lips."

"I suppose." She pulls back again to look up at him, her cheeks dusted with pink. "Do you feel a little better now?"

"I can't possibly begin to describe to you how much better I feel. I'm the happiest guy in the world."

"All right, don't be so dramatic."

"No, I mean it." He proves it to her by staring seriously into her eyes. She gets flustered before long and has to look away.

"Idiot Sakuta…"

"You're only making me even happier by blushing like that."

"Is that so? Then maybe I should go back to your room for the rest of the night."

"I take it back. Please don't."

"Geez…" Her hands have come to rest in her lap by now, and Sakuta reaches out to hold them, tracing his thumbs along the backs of her knuckles. At the very least she's stopped crying, though she's still quivering a little. Sakuta only just realizes that when she'd come in to sleep beside him she hadn't used any blankets. He shifts closer to her, draping some of his covers onto her legs and lap.

"Are you all right, Mai-san?"

"I'm fine. What about you?"

"Also fine."

"Liar."

He really should've known better. She always sees right through him.

Now, she gives him that stern expression, almost bordering a pout, just a bit more serious. It's the look that's always compelling enough to make him spill the beans.

"I'm mostly fine now. I really am incredibly happy about that kiss just now. I mean it."

"But…?" she prompts.

He sighs, turning over one of her hands and letting his fingers brush against the faint pulse in her wrist.

"I just can't stop thinking about it… About your heart stopping. For any reason, under any circumstances. Either way, it's always because of me or some decision I made. And I know it isn't our reality now, but I already lost you once and I just-"

"All right, that's enough." She quiets him with another embrace, wrapping her arms around his shoulders until he can feel her pulse against his chest. He balances his palms at the small of her back, thumbing through the ends of her hair.

"Sorry, Mai-san."

"Idiot. Don't be. You should know by now that none of those events were really your fault." She moves away all too soon, before he's prepared for it. If he could have his way, he'd just spend the rest of his days in her arms. Well, maybe not all of them, because he still wants to go on plenty of dates with her, perhaps a bit of traveling-

"What are you spacing out about?"

"Only you, Mai-san."

"Of course." She stretches out next to him beneath the blankets, then lies down onto her back. She reaches her arms up expectantly. "Come on. We're going back to sleep."

"The idea sounds amazing, but I'm a bit confused about the position."

"Are you? The way I see it, you should be thankful. I'm fulfilling one of your wildest fantasies by offering to let you rest your head on my chest."

"You say it like that, but that really is one of my wildest fantasies."

"Idiot."

The fact that they can still tease and banter back and forth like this is reassuring for the both of them, a benchmark of normalcy in this maze of confusion and time-warped dreams.

Sakuta shifts over, giving Mai the pillow and helping her get comfortable on it. He lies down slowly, keeping the majority of his weight to the side, but a glance back to her tells him she's serious about this. So he slips one arm beneath the nape of her neck, then lays the other across her stomach. He pauses his face just inches shy of making contact with her chest, still giving her the chance to change her mind.

"Hurry up before I change my mind."

"Yes, Mai-san."

Her arms drape around his shoulders, guiding him down the rest of the way. Sakuta turns his face to one side and finally covers the last few inches of distance between them.

His cheek brushes against the soft fabrics of her sweater until it makes contact with the equally-soft body underneath. His ear rests right at the center of her chest, at the warmest part of her.

Her heartbeat fills his ears right away, following a generic rhythm he's heard in movies and on TV shows a million times. But listening to the real thing is so drastically different. It means so much to him, especially when it's hers.

He sighs, almost feeling like he might cry again, finally letting himself relax fully against her. Her fingers cards through his hair, adjusting the blankets to ensure he's covered, then rub little circles behind his neck.

"See?" she murmurs, and he can feel the slight vibrations of her voice. "I'm here, Sakuta. I'll always be here."

"Mai-san…"

He closes his eyes so he can focus on that sound. Her pulse is soft and steady, the first beat of each thump lasting just a fraction of a second longer than the second. Her breathing is slow and deep, and he moves with her, his head rising on her chest with every inhale and sinking with every exhale.

And all the while her heartbeat never stops like it did in the nightmares. It never ends abruptly, never speeds up or hardens enough to kill her, never slows enough to suffocate her.

It's just… perfect. Like the rest of her.

He listens, for a long, long time, committing her pulse to memory. Even though it's the same unchanging rhythm over and over again, he never gets tired of listening to it, never feels the urge to pull away.

Her fingers continue idling through his hair for a while longer, until he can feel the change in her body for himself. Her pulse slows down just a little, and her breaths become longer, more relaxed. Sakuta can feel himself beginning to slip under with her, but he can't do so without telling her one last thing.

"Mai-san… I love you…"

The tired raspy response comes from right above his head.

"I love you too, Sakuta."

And this time as they sleep, everything is perfectly right.

A/N: Why didn't they get a kiss? Or a hug that wasn't because of anguish? Gosh darn it, they deserve all the cute cuddly moments!

Real talk though, the movie absolutely wrecked me.

Please review!