I stared at the general for a moment, he looked uneasy. Unhinged even. I had seen his temper before but now he looked positively livid.

"I thought Kylo ren was in a meeting with you and the other generals?" I enquired when he didn't say anything.

"No, Ren" I noted how he said the name with such contempt "thought my presence was not necessary for this particular meeting"

I had discovered the cause of his current distain; he clearly wasn't a fan of Kylo Rens leadership. "So why have you come here?"

"I know what he has planned for you" his admission shocked me, "I cannot let him create a legacy with you"

I backed away from the general as he entered the room further. He saw my trepidation "fear not, I can't kill you while you're under his protection without risking my own life"

Though I'm sure he meant the words in comfort they did not make me feel any easier "I can however give you this" he pulled a small vile from him pocket. It was filled with a grey liquid.

" what is it?" I asked eying the bottle warily.

"It will give you a choice" I looked at the general quizzically, he was being very cryptic "I know you are good at concealing your deepest thoughts and memories from him so I know he will not find out"

"What is it?" I asked again more boldly this time.

He held the bottle out for me to take but I was hesitant "if you drink this you will never be able to bare him a child, rest assured it will not hurt you in anyway"

My hand grasped the bottle almost without thinking, I stared down at the liquid, examining it as if it were made of gold. "You will not force me to consume it?" I looked back at Hux who's expression had softened somewhat.

"No" he stated "this is your choice to make. But choose what's best for the galaxy and drink it"

Just like that he left the room. I clutched the bottle so tight my firsts turned white.

I had never really thought about having children. I guess I was at the age where having children wasn't really something I needed to think about. Even when I thought about the child, I was supposed to produce for Kylo ren I had always thought of it as his child, not mine. But now I thought about it, really explored the idea in my mind, I realised that one day I should like to have children.

I felt the familiar prickle of tears touch my cheek as I looked down at the bottle. I suppose in passing day dreams I had imagined having a family, with Ben. The name caused the tears to trickle more intensely.

Bennar, my mind lingered on the recollection of his face. In a short, insignificant second, my choice was made. As once again I was reminded that Kylo ren was a murderer, and I could not bear his child, he may talk with me like a philosopher and allow me to see his face but he is a monster, I couldn't let myself forget that. For bens memory I had to do this. Even if it meant sacrificing any family I could have had in the future.

The bottle unscrewed easily. Too easily. I brought it to lip quivering lips in a second and in another second it was empty.

Hux was right, I didn't feel anything. I had imagined it to be painful at least, but it wasn't, there was a moment about twenty minutes later when my stomach pinched, I presumed that was the sign that the draft had done its work. But it wasn't painful.

I washed the bottle immediately after consuming its contents, should ren find it now he would have no idea of what its former contents was. Then with a deep breath I forced myself to lock the last half an hour in the vault of my mind. Determined he would never find my betrayal there.

I washed my face removing any signs of my tears in case he should ask why I was crying and resumed the monotonous activity of watching tie fighters enter in and out of the mysterious planet's atmosphere.

It felt like a fleeting second had passed before Kylo ren entered the room once more. I had hidden the bottle in the bottom of a draw determined I would get rid of it somehow before he could find it.

I didn't want to admit that I was slightly disappointed when he didn't immediately accost me, I was expecting him to get straight down to business. Instead he handed me a package. I took the parcel in confusion.

"Open it" his mechanical voice rang; I followed the order. It was clothes, nicer ones then the dress they had provided me before. Though these were still black they were more comfortable and practical. More me. "I had them made so you can stop stealing my clothes" he explained.

"Thank you" I said as I looked down at the fabrics, it was almost kind of thoughtful.

"I also realise that you must be getting bored in here" he looked round the room. It was strange to hear almost caring words emitted from the voice distorting words, why didn't he take it off? That was usually the first thing he did when he entered the room. "So, get changed and I will escort you to get some food" he ordered.

I clutched the parcel to my chest and made to move for the refresher but his muscular arm halted me "why do you still wish to hide your body from me?"

I opened my mouth to respond but closed it again and blushed, I didn't know why it was still my instinct to hide from him, he had seen it all now. So, I picked out some clothes and changed, he didn't really watch but I occasionally felt his gaze linger on me through the mask.

He led me to the door and punched in the code that opened it. I couldn't see the combination to my dismay. Still I was looking forward to seeing somewhere else and eating real food not just green slush.

Ren didn't say anything as we manoeuvre around the massive ship. The canteen was a large grey space with long tables lined with benches. There were only a few people in there when we arrived, at seeing ren they all lowered their gaze and ceased conversation, clearly intimidated by his presence. I imagine the supreme leader doesn't eat amongst the soldiers very often.

"Sit here" he shoved me on to a bench in a corner and gestured to one of the catering staff who busied themselves filling a tray with what can only be described as slop.

"Will you not sit with me?" I enquire after the tray was placed in front of me.

He folded his arms and didn't even turn in my direction when he answered abruptly "no"

I hid a smirk; he was worried about what the men would think if he was seen to be friendly to a prisoner.

I ate the slop and I was grateful for it because it was still better than the green slime that had sustained me for so many days now. I occasionally looked round and saw soldier stealing a glimpse at me only to quickly turn away when the noticed me looking back.

"Are you finished?" Ren said immediately after I ate the last bite. He didn't wait for a response when he grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bench and out of the canteen.

"Can we slow down" I panted trying to keep up with the pace at which he was pulling me along "I've just eaten actual food for the first time in days its sitting heavy on my stomach so I'm a bit slower than usual"

"No" he responded quickly again void of any emotion.

I rolled my eyes and tried to quicken my feet "what did I say about rolling your eyes at me?" His voice was harsh but suggestive,

"Sorry" I lowered my gaze and we walked the rest of the way in silence.

We arrived back in the room in no time. He immediately removed his mask, his face wasn't angry or harsh, nor was it caring or inquisitive, it was just kind of neutral.

"What is your problem?" I demanded "one minute your being kind and offering me a break from this damned room the next you being blunt and can't get back here quick enough"

He raised a brow, I don't know if it was an angry brow or fascinated one, someone in my position wouldn't usually confront there capture so full on. But I was tired of his mood swings, I would have like to have sat for a little longer in the canteen.

He didn't respond which infuriated me further. He didn't understand what I had given up today, he didn't understand how right now the smallest nice gesture made me feel less worthless, less pointless.

"What you don't want to talk now?" My words were lined with venom, "you don't want to get angry? Isn't that what you usually do when things don't go your way? Smash things up? Kill people?" I ranted, it felt good to rant, as sudden as his mood had changed so had mine.

Silently he bid away his cowl it fell to the floor I watch the fabric gather below him. It was in that moment I realized that a silent Kylo ren is more fearsome then an enraged one. He was watching, calculating, he was gathering all of the information about my temper he needed.

"Have you got nothing to say to that?" I stared up at him, squaring up to his considerable high as best I could with my short stature.

He opened his mouth and the words flowed simply, there was no rage behind them or hatred, in fact there was enjoyment and anticipation in his eyes.

"On. Your. Knees."

His hands pushed me in to the desired position, one of them patted my head as if I were a pet. "Your irresistible when your angry" he said, I was staring straight at his crotch the fabric of his trousers was tighter there as I could see the outline of my undoing. "But let's get one thing very clear" his tender touch on my head turned into a painful one as he grabbed a fist full of my hair. I struggled against it but he held me still. "You have no right to address me in such a way, I am your leader and master now, you are still living at my leisure so I will do with you and treat you however I please" with his free hand he began opening his trousers and pulling them aside so his fully erect cock sprang free.

"When I say sleep you sleep, when I say it's time to leave you leave and when I say eat you eat. Now. Eat" I gasped as he pushed my head forward and he moaned as his cock went deep into my throat. "Do we have an understanding" he looked down at me triumphantly as he was still filling my mouth completely.

I did my best to affirm with a slight nod because I couldn't talk. "Good" his grip on my hair loosened "now I say stop he continued to my head back and forth. He seemed to be enjoying it as when I looked up his eyes were closed and his head tilting to the ceiling had no doubt as I continued to pleasure him that this encounter would end with me on that bed, I consoled myself that even though I was submitting now, today I had committed the ultimate act of defiance and he even know.

As I suspected after longer then I was comfortable with he released my head and stumbled back on to the floor gasping for breath. "Remove your clothes and lie over there" he instructed pointing to the middle of the floor.

"Not the bed?" I enquired, he shot me a warning look, I shouldn't be questioning him. I got to my feet and did as instructed. I noticed as I lay bare skinned on the cold floor that he had put his penis away. Which again confused me, what did he have planned?

He removed his tunic but his trousers and boots remained, his image of his staring down at me with his hungry eyes was an intimidating one. I clenched my thighs together almost to remind myself to not enjoy it. "See how much easier this is? Let me make all of your choices, that way you are free, all you have to do is please me. Devote yourself to me. Can you do that?"

I shook my head because I couldn't find words in that moment. He sighed, "I know difficult to relinquish control, but you will I promise"

He raised a hand over me and it came on so suddenly I struggled to breath, the sensation of the force working its way into me through my most intimate parts, it was like no pleasure I had ever felt before. My back arched and, my mouth made moans of pleasure against my commands. It just felt so good. Not like when he was trying to get into my head, then it felt like the force was trying to pull my brain out of my head.

This was warming and pulsing, it was like the ecstasy off coming except it stop, it was constant and consuming.

Then suddenly his hand lowered, it stopped. I panted at looked at him in a hopeless dismay. "W-why did you-" my mouth could barely form the words

"Do you want me to continue to make you feel that good?" He crossed his arms over his broad bare chest, I nodded quickly, "then beg"

"What!" I shot up straight and turned to him, he wanted me to beg? But I wouldn't beg, I couldn't, that would be giving in to him truly. I wanted to beg though, I wanted to feel like that again.

"You heard me" he knelt down to my level and brought a finger to my chin so I looked him in the eyes "beg your supreme leader to take you"

My mouth opened but closed again "I can see the conflict in your eyes catri, do this for me and let go of your rebellion, it will feel so good I promise"

"Why?" I finally managed "you need to me submit when I am so wholly in your grasp" even now the warm wet sensation he had caused was starting to diminish, I ignored it. I would not pay the price to feel it again even if I wanted to.

"I own your body catri, but it is your mind that has always fascinate me, to own that would be far more rewarding then forcing myself on to you every night"

I couldn't think off any response to this "just devote yourself to me, you will be my best servant. Can't you see that? I will love you and cherish you in every way you want"

He had said something akin to this before. I recalled my answer then 'you wouldn't love me, just love what you've made me into' I had responded, I was no longer strong enough so reutter those words. Instead I just continued to look into his pleading eyes.

"Very well" he said when he finally straightened up, his features became sterner now and less impassioned "get on the bed tonight I will take you without your submission, but don't expect to enjoy it" his voice had turned harsh again and his gaze indifferent.