Worth It

Marley forced her eyes open, aware of how quiet the room was. The last thing she remembered was being curled up next to Jake on the sofa in her living room. With his arm hugging her to his side, and the movie acting more as background noise; Marley hadn't been able to stop herself from falling asleep. It had been the end of an incredibly long week and the lack of sleep had finally caught up with her. A quick glance at the blank TV told her the film must have finished long ago. Marley snuggled back against the sofa, suddenly aware of an empty space beside her. Her hand reached out and patted the space where Jake had been sitting only earlier. Marley chewed her bottom lip; she doubted Jake would have just gotten up and left her. But the silence in the house made it almost impossible for anyone else to be in.

There was a small buzz to her other side, and she grabbed the phone. Marley rubbed the sleep away with one hand and opened the message on the screen with the other. The bright light caused her to look away for a few seconds before turning back and trying to decipher the small words on the screen.

Miss u so much babe. Come over l8ter and we can finish what we started xx

Marley sat up; her eyes hurriedly re-reading the text. Who would be sending her a message like that? Maybe Jake really had left and wanted her to know he was free later on? Marley was about to type out a reply when her eyes caught the name at the top of the screen.

Bree.

A small sound slipped from her throat. Why would Bree be sending her a message like that? How did she even have her number? Maybe Kitty had put her up to it as some sort of weird joke? Marley gripped the phone in her hand and in doing so realised two things. One: Kitty didn't have her number. Two: It wasn't her phone she was holding. It was Jake's.

"Hey! You're awake!"

Marley's head snapped up at Jake's voice. He peered round the door.

"I didn't want to wake you and the film had nearly finished anyway. I was just in the kitchen making a drink. Want one?"

Marley glanced back at the phone as another message came up.

Let me know when u've left the bulimic's house. I'll be w8ting for u xx

The phone landed in the corner of the sofa and Marley jumped to her feet. Jake stared at her in confusion whilst her own brain was trying to work out what to do. She could feel tears start to build in the back of her eyes. But Marley knew if she started crying then she'd never get her words out.

"How…." God, she felt sick. "How long have you…. you and…. Bree being together?"

Jake's eyes widened and Marley watched him stare at the phone she'd chucked at the sofa.

"Marley I… look it's not what you think!"

"Isn't it?" Now the tears were starting. Marley shook her head.

"I think you've been sleeping with her. Well?"

Jake shuffled his feet. "I…. look I was only fooling around with her Marley. I knew you weren't really up for any of that, and I didn't want to pressure you into anything."

"So, you decided cheating on me was the better idea? And with Bree! Of all people you just had to pick Kitty's chief bitch friend!"

"Hey! She's not as bad as you think. When you get to know her…" Jake trailed off as he realised what he was saying. Marley shook her head.

"Is that so? How long have you been 'getting to know her' then? How long?"

Jake looked down at the floor. "About a month. Maybe a bit longer."

"Oh my God," Marley hugged herself tightly. "And did you tell her about my bulimia?"

"No!" Jake shook his head. "No, I swear. That must have been Kitty. Marley, I promise you I haven't mentioned that to anyone outside of Glee."

"Well she clearly knows. And clearly you've not been trying hard to defend me to her!"

"Marley-"

"One question." She forced herself to look him in the eyes. "If I had slept with you, would you have done this?"

"Honestly?"

"It would make a nice change."

Jake sighed. "I don't know."

"Right." Marley nodded. "Right well…. I know where I stand then."

She fixed Jake with a glare. "I think you should go."

"Look Marley!" Jake darted forward but she sidestepped him. He picked his phone up before turning back to her.

"Surely we can talk about this?"

"We've just done that Jake. I've got nothing else to say. We're done here. We're done full stop. Now you need to go." Marley wiped her eyes. "You don't want to keep Bree waiting."

Jake opened his mouth for a brief second before realising there was no point.

"I'm sorry Marley."

Marley didn't move as he headed towards the door. Only when the door slammed shut behind him, did she final shut her eyes and allow the tears to fall. Even though she knew she was alone in the house, she didn't dare open her mouth. Instead she allowed the tears to fall down her face whilst her body shook with the effort of not crying out.

After everything that had happened: her bulimia and her fight to try and get over it, the issues her and her mum were having financially, her ruining things at Sectionals, the ongoing problem between her, Jake and Ryder. Everything she had gone through had always looked that bit more hopeful because she knew she had Jake to help her through it all. Yet it had all been a lie. Marley shut her eyes as images of Bree began to fill her head. She was a lot prettier than she was. She was a lot skinnier as well. Maybe if she had been pretty enough for Jake then he'd have stayed. If she had been thinner. If she had been flirtier. Sexier. Skinnier.

Her feet began to move. Slowly at first; but when she reached the stairs, Marley found herself taking them two at a time. She hadn't done it for almost a month now. She'd been having bigger portions and snacking more. She'd been starting to accept how she looked. Clearly that had been a mistake. She should have kept an eye on her weight. Shouldn't have had all those extra helpings. Clearly Jake thought Bree was prettier than she was. He had too, considering how skinny she was.

Marley pushed open the bathroom door and fell to her knees beside the toilet. One hand was already moving down her throat whilst the other pushed the lid open. Her eyes watered as her fingers dug deeper. The days meals came out in a rush and Marley coughed furiously in an effort to get it all out. The back of her throat stung, but she forced her fingers back in. Tears crawled down her face as more and more came out. Marley soon lost track of how many times she tried. Only when she found herself gagging on her fingers with no end result, did she let her hands fall to her sides whilst she leant against the bath. She opened her mouth, but even that small movement just increased the soreness in her throat. Marley stared weakly at her hands. Everyone had been trying so hard to help her beat this. They'd all done their best and now she had just let them all down. Just how she'd let them down at Sectionals. How she'd let Jake down by not having sex with him. How she'd let Ryder down by going on a date with Jake in the first place.

Ryder.

Another sob escaped her inflamed throat at the thought of Ryder. Marley knew how hard it had been for him to try and act like he was fine with her and Jake dating. He'd even warned her about Jake's flirty nature with girls and yet Marley had simply assumed he was doing it out of jealousy. But he had been right. They all had Ryder, Sam, Unique. Even Kitty. Marley wiped her eyes. Her mum was out of town on a school reunion, meaning she wouldn't be back until tomorrow night. But the idea of staying in the house another moment longer had her stomach churning. With shivering hands, she forced herself to her feet and flushed the toilet – she didn't dare look at how much she had thrown up – before leaving the bathroom.

It didn't take long to pull some boots on and grab a coat. Marley opened the door to find a cloudburst had appear from nowhere. Thick raindrops were falling so fast they were starting to all blur together. But instead of stepping back into the house, Marley simply tugged her coat around her and shut the door. The raindrops stung her skin as she locked up and began walking. Her coat had a big enough hood; but all Marley could focus on was getting as far away from her house as possible. She roughly knew the way to Ryders house; but she'd only been walking for a few minutes and she was soaked. Her hair stuck to her face and Marley wasn't entirely sure if it was mainly tears or rain that was soaking her cheeks. She was aware of cars driving past – no doubt the drivers wondering why on earth she was out in this weather – but she ignored them. Even when one splashed water up her leg. Marley just forced herself to put one foot in front of the other. Her throat still ached from earlier. How did she tell Ryder what happened? Not just about Jake but about how her first reaction had been to make herself sick? Was she so weak that being sick was going to be her first response to when something went wrong?

Her pocket buzzed and she took her phone out with shaking hands. More tears leaked as she saw Jakes name on the screen.

Marley I'm at home. Please can we talk about this? xx

Even though she was only looking at the message for a few seconds; hours seemed to pass. Marley glanced at the kisses at the end of the message. Did Jake not understand what he had done? Did he think her so stupid that she would just take him back? She swiped the message away and hurriedly scrolled through her contacts. She needed to hear Ryders voice now. He'd make things alright again. He'd make her feel better. Her soaking fingers slipped, but she eventually managed to dial his number.

"Hey Marley."

Marley shut her eyes. Ryder always sounded so happy to hear her voice. She knew once he found out what she had done, then the happiness would swiftly go.

"Marley?"

She opened her mouth; but a chocked sob came out instead of any words.

"Marley are you okay?" Ryder's voice took on a touch on worry. Marley nodded – more to herself than him.

"I…" she swallowed a sob. "Ryder…"

"Hang on. I'll come and get you. Where are you?"

"At the end of my street."

"Marley it's pouring! Look just stay there and I'll be there as soon as possible."

There was a small beep as he hung up. Marley lowered her hand and slid the phone back into her pocket. Water ran down her skin and she could feel several drops leak down the back of her top. She knew Ryder only lived ten minutes away. But each of those minuets felt like hours. She wiggled her toes; vaguely aware of the cold starting to sink through her shoes and socks. Her jeans were no doubt fused to her legs and she knew her top was in a similar state. Her hair stuck to her face, causing more rain to drip down the back of her neck. There was a huge tree a few feet away and she knew if she stood under it, she'd be dry. Or at least drier. But nothing was working. Her legs could do nothing but shiver whilst her hands hung useless by her sides. All she could do was replay the scenes over and over in her head.

That text from Bree. Jake not bothering to deny anything. Her dumping him before running upstairs and forcing herself to throw up every last contents of her stomach.

Marley sniffed. More water trickled down her face and she had a feeling it was her tears this time.

"Marley!"

The rain stopped pattering around her. Marley forced herself to look up at Ryders face. One hand gripped the umbrella whilst the other was tugging her towards him.

"Marley what...? What are you doing out here?"

"I…" she trailed off. She shouldn't have called him. It's not like she could tell him any of it. Ryders free hand found hers and he gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Let me get you inside."

Marley registered none of the walk back home. Only when Ryder gave her a gentle nudge did she realise she was standing in front of her door. She glanced over at him and he smiled.

"Fancy letting us in?"

Marley fumbled in her pocket for her keys. She knew the smile would be wiped off Ryders face once he heard what had happened. The only real question was who would he be angrier at: Jake or her?

Marley pushed the door open and forced herself inside. She could hear Ryder shaking his umbrella outside before she felt him standing behind her.

"Let's get you dried off."

Marley gave a small nod, aware of him gently pushing past her. She watched him take his own coat off before looking down at the small puddle she was starting to create. Water trailed down her clothes, and now she was inside, her hands began to shiver.

"Hey," hands placed themselves on her shoulders, "come on."

Marley stood motionless as Ryder slid her coat off before doing the same with her shoes. Unsure if it was the cold or just the shock of everything, she allowed him to take her hand and lead her up the stairs. He didn't say anything, but every time she glanced over, he shot her a small smile. Marley blinked furiously to avoid more tears. The way Ryder was being… Jake would never have done this. He'd have been concerned. But he'd have never been this careful with her. This gentle. Ryders hand pressed itself against her back and Marley found herself being steered in the direction of her room. Jake would never behave the way Ryder was. And Ryder certainly would never behave the way Jake had.

"Um…I'll let you get dried off and changed."

Marley nodded weakly. "Thanks."

"I'll be downstairs." Ryder gave her hand a squeeze. "And then you're telling me everything that's happened."

Marley watched him walk off. How could she tell him? He'd warned her about Jake, and he'd been proved right. He'd asked her to stop making herself sick and she'd let him down. Telling Ryder what had happened would just mean losing the best person in her life.

Marley tugged at her dressing gown and then peeked round the doorway. Ryder was sitting in the same spot Jake had been only a couple of hours earlier. Despite everything, Marley couldn't help but smile. It seemed much more natural for Ryder to be there than Jake. The movie they'd been watching earlier? She knew Ryder would have loved it. He'd have been making jokes and dry comments about the plot and making her laugh with impressions of the actors. He wouldn't having been texting Bree about when they were going to get together.

"Hey."

Ryders voice pulled Marley from her thoughts and she realised he must have noticed her. Ryder jumped to his feet.

"Did you want anything? Maybe I should get you a hot drink?"

"No, I'm…. I'm fine."

Marley sat down; her hands tucked in the folds of her dressing gown. Ryder raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure? You're still shivering. Let me get you a tea? Or some hot food?"

"Ryder I'm fine!"

He nodded. "Okay. Okay."

Marley bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap I just…" she shook her head.

"I'm sorry."

"Hey," Ryder shifted so he was now properly facing her.

"You have nothing to apologise for. Nothing at all." He reached over and pushed her damp hair from her face.

"Now tell me what happened that made you go out in this weather without even putting your hood up."

Marley looked down at her hands. "I'm not sorry because I snapped at you. Well, no I am, but I just meant sorry for… for letting you down."

"Marley what are you talking about?"

"I made myself throw up. I made myself throw up a lot. I just…I just needed to get out. I needed to get out and I needed you!"

A sob choked out and Marley kept her gaze downwards. She couldn't look at Ryder. Not now. Probably not ever. She kept her eyes on her hands. Ryders hands gently moved into her vision and held both of hers.

"Marley look at me."

No anger in his voice. Not even disappointment. Just worry.

"Marley please look at me."

She did. Ryder forced a smile onto his face.

"What happened?"

"I told you I-"

"I know that. But what happened to make you do it? Marley you've been doing so well for weeks. Months even. You've been eating properly again, and I know you haven't made yourself sick for ages. So, I refuse to believe you did it today without something happening."

"But…but you'll be angry if I tell you."

"Marley, nothing you tell me will make me angry with you."

Marley shook her head. "Not with me. With Jake."

Ryder narrowed his eyes. "What's he done? Marley if he's been trying to pressure you into…." He trailed off and his eyes doubled in size.

"Marley…. did Jake…. did he…. did you get pressured into doing…. anything?"

Marley shook her head. "No. No it's…. Jake's been cheating on me. With Bree."

Ryder froze. His hands still held hers, but Marley could feel how still he'd gone. She shrugged.

"I accidently saw a text she sent him. I confronted him and he said it'd been going on for about a month. All because I wouldn't sleep with him!"

"Marley I'm so-"

"All because he wanted to screw someone!" Marley cut him off. Tears ran down her face and she could feel ache in her chest growing she as forced herself to not break down. "And of course, he wants Bree! Why wouldn't he? She's pretty and thin and stunning and everything I'm never going to be!"

"HEY!"

Marley swallowed back the oncoming tears as Ryder gave her a gentle shake.

"Never, ever say that about yourself Marley Rose. You are amazing. You are smart and caring and so beautiful. Bree is just some blonde Cheerio who will have peaked by the end of high school."

Marley shook her head. "I just…when he left, I felt… I just wanted it to stop hurting so much! I just wanted it to stop hurting and I thought if I did it then maybe it would. But it just hurt more!"

Arms pulled her forward and Marley buried her face in Ryders chest. He tightened his hold on her shaking body whilst her tears began staining his top. They both sat there for a few minutes before Marley eased herself back.

"I know you're mad at him. But…please don't leave. I don't think I can have anyone else leave me."

Ryder sighed. "I'm going to be honest Marley. Part of me wants to find him right now and beat the crap out of him. But I am promising you this; I am never going to leave you."

Marley smiled. "I don't deserve you."

Ryder grinned at her. "Well I am just that amazing."

"No, I mean it. I don't deserve you. I should have waited for you instead of letting Kitty get the best of me. I shouldn't have ever gone out with Jake in the first place. He was never there for me. Not like you were. I'm so sorry Ryder. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"Hey," he cupped her face with one hand. "I want you to be happy. That's all. For what it's worth, I regret not fighting for you at the start. I just assumed you would pick me over Jake. But I shouldn't have just let you go."

Marley shuffled closer to him. "I'm going to be honest with you Ryder. I…I don't think I would have picked Jake."

Ryder's cheeks reddened slightly. "Do you mean that? You're not just saying it because of what's happened?"

Marley shook her head. "I'm not. I would have picked you. I should have picked you. I wanted to pick you. I was just scared you wouldn't want me back. It was easier to be a coward and stay with Jake."

Ryder squeezed her hand. "In that case, why don't we try and start again? I'm not saying I want us to rush into anything. You're going through a break-up – which can suck at the best of times. But maybe later, when you're ready, maybe we could try again?"

Marley nodded and allowed herself to smile properly for the first time in hours.

"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

As Jake appeared in the doorway of the choir room, it took every last inch of restraint that Ryder had to not launch himself at him straight away. Since Marley's mum had been away all weekend, he'd spent every possible moment with her. Mainly to make sure she was okay and that she wasn't going to make herself throw up again. But also, because he knew she needed someone reassuring. Someone who would convince her that it was going to be okay. They hadn't mentioned a possible relationship again. But Marley had given him a quick kiss on the cheek when he'd left last night. Ryder sighed. He knew it was going to take time. Marley had trusted Jake and he'd taken that trust away. Building her self-confidence back up had been hard in the first place. Now it was a marathon task. But Ryder was going to be there every step of the way. No matter how long it took. It was worth it after all. It was Marley.

"Hey," Jake held up his phone. "Got your text."

Ryder nodded. "Marley told me about you and Bree."

At least Jake had the decency to look ashamed. Ryder got to his feet.

"When you guys first got together, I admit I was pissed at you. You knew I liked her but still went after her. But I figured that if she was happy that was all that mattered. But here's the thing: I told you to do one thing. One simple thing. To not hurt her."

"Look if you think I feel good about this then you're wrong. I feel awful."

"Didn't stop you from sleeping with Bree though did it?" Ryder scoffed.

"Do you have any idea what Marely did after you left?"

"I assume she called you."

"Only after she'd made herself throw up about five times!" Ryder yelled. "She'd been doing so well and you just took that away from her. She felt so hurt and so betrayed and she needed to find an outlet for it all. Making herself throw up was the only way she knew that might make her feel that little bit better. Except it didn't. It just made her feel worse."

Ryder forced himself to stop and take a deep breath.

"Look, I'm not here to have a fight with you. I want to. Believe me, I want to punch you in the face and it's taking a lot of restraint to not do that. I just want to make sure you are aware of how much you have hurt her. I want you to know that you aren't to go anywhere near her. I'm not having her be hurt again. Not by you."

With a small shake of his head, Ryder pushed past Jake. But as he reached the door he stopped and turned.

"I hope Bree is worth it. Because let me tell you something Jake. You were so lucky to have someone like Marley. So lucky."

"So is this where you tell me you're now the lucky one because you have her?"

Ryder shook his head. "I don't have her. She's a person Jake. Not some object to own. And she trusted you and you betrayed her. That's going to take a lot of time to get over. But unlike you I'm actually going to be there for her. No matter how long it takes. Because she is worth every second."

Second Glee fanfic and once again it's another Ryley one. Honestly felt like these two could have had some really cool stories in the show. Probably why i'm suddenly writing Ryley fics despite arriving a tad late to the Glee fandom. Please feel free to say what you thought xx