Gamer4 in. Y I do dis? I no know y I do dis. I guess I really just like the idea of random quickies to get a quick scene out of my head so I can focus on main chapters. Anyone who reads Mario Mario will be decently familiar with the concept- if not, you will be soon. It's not that complicated. Let's get right to it.

Disclaimer: Stephen King's It belongs to Richard Bachman. Little Shop of Horrors belongs to Warner Bros., as far as I know or can tell.

Random Quickie

Mean Lean Mother from Outer Space

"So, let me get this straight," Jaune recapped, plopping himself down on the sofa as the others attempted to explain the current circumstances. "The multiverse exists-"

"Toldja!" Nora chirped brightly.

"-and we've been abducted by one, the other, or both of these crazy guys-"

"Crazy and George," Weiss rolled her eyes heavily. "They say they have real names, but..."

"And they can't send us back home until some sort of story's been told-"

"That would seem to be the case, yes," Blake nodded.

"-so they decided to show off other worlds starring me?" He blushed heavily.

"It's not so bad," Ruby assured him- she could sense his discomfort. He must be longing for some normal knees right now. "I mean, we had a world starring Yang, and we just got through one starring Ren."

Jaune gulped. "And... the ones starring me...?"

"You've been a psychic, an author, an android, and..." Pyrrha hesitated as she recalled the world of demons.

"A pervert," Weiss rolled her eyes even more heavily.

"...Yes," Pyrrha conceded, though she hadn't intended to be so blunt over the matter.

"Sounds like anything's fair game," Jaune pondered.

"It would certainly seem so," Ren agreed.

"So you're saying you'd never peep on us in the shower, Jauney?" Yang gasped, hand to her chest. "I'm hurt- am I not good enough for you?!"

"Beebuhbluh?!" Jaune sputtered, pulling away.

It was Ruby's turn to roll her eyes- she'd learned some tricks from her partner over the years. "Leave him alone, Yang- he just got here, let him set-"

The front door was kicked open, and a new man walked in, a bright mischievous smile upon his face. He was at least a foot shorter than their other hosts, but somehow put them far more ill at ease. His skin was far more tanned than Crazy's pasty complexion, his hair far more cared for, his face clean-shaven.

"Well, well, well, so he wasn't joking!" the new arrival smirked as he made his way into the living room.

"Excuse me, but who might you be?" Weiss more demanded than asked.

"A friend of Crazy's- call me Waterboy," the man introduced with no special flourish. "He let me know what was going on, so I thought I'd break into his house while he's looking the other way and show you a universe behind his back!"

He bounced to the screen and shoved a disc into the player.

Before anyone could say anything, the world had begun playing.

The screen opened up on a cave somewhere, clearly deep below the ground. In the center stood the woman they'd not seen before- short, with long hair- strawberry pink on one side, chocolate brown on the other. Her eyes were similarly mismatched as she crouched on a rock, staring at a door at the cavern's edge.

"Hey, I know that girl!" Yang growled. "She's the one that pummeled me on the train!"

"You're sure?" Ruby asked, surprised- Yang had related the tale of her beating, but no details.

"I could never forget."

"A truly intimidating foe," Weiss smirked. "I can see why you had so much trouble."

"You're one to talk, shortstack!"

"Why, you-"

Ren cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Mr... Water... Boy?"

"That's muh name!"

"Aren't you going to give us some information about this world?"

"Nope- I don't know anything about it- or any of you, for that matter! I just grabbed a random disc and turned it on to a random point- I have no idea what's going on here!"

Jaune leaned over to Ruby. "So... this one might not star me either?"

"I don't know," Ruby shrugged. "Things are just weird around here, I tell you!"

The door slammed open, and in entered a counterpart to almost all of the guests- Yang, Blake, Jaune, Ren, and Nora all looked normal, but Weiss had a cast on her arm, indicating it had recently been broken, Ruby was absent entirely, while Pyrrha...

"Whoa, what happened to you, Pyrrha?!" Nora gasped without thinking twice. "Did you eat Ruby? Is that why she's not here?!"

"Nora!" Ren narrowed his eyes.

Pyrrha didn't respond- she was getting over her own surprise at seeing herself so... robust? Rotund?

"Have a few too many bowls of Pumpkin Pete's, P-Money?" Yang couldn't help guffawing.

"Forget your stupid jokes, Xiao Long," Weiss interjected. "Where's your sister?"

Yang's smile vanished in an instant as she noted her sister's absence.

"H-h-hey, bitch!" Yang called out, fury on her face. "Y-you're the one that k-k-killed my s-s-sister, aren't you?!"

Jaws dropped around the room.

"I'm dead again!?" Ruby wailed.

"She's dead again?!" Yang growled.

"Yang is stuttering?!" Blake gasped, truly taken aback.

The multicolored woman laughed. "Noooooooo shit, Sherlock!"

"Not just her," Ren put in. "All of them, too!"

The guests felt faint when the camera followed Ren's finger around the cave's walls, showing several bodies encased in some sort of... goo, perhaps? All clearly dead, including- they realized with a jolt- some people they knew.

"I'm guessing she's not exactly a normal human," Ren speculated. "No human could- or would- do such a thing."

"Am I in there?" Ruby whimpered- Yang and Jaune both placed a hand on her shoulder.

The woman cackled again. "And I wanna thaaaaaaank you, for coming right to me!"

Though it hardly mattered at this point, Yang couldn't help pondering, "Y'know, I don't remember her being this talkative."

"You're not getting away with this," Weiss hissed angrily, producing... an inhaler? ("Is that the best weapon I can muster?!") "Your kind never does!"

Neo responded with a belly laugh.

Yang smashed her fists together. "I d-d-don't care what it t-takes, y-you're not g-g-getting out of here alive!"

The woman leapt to her feet, seemingly towering over them despite her unimpressive stature. She began to... sing?

"Better wait a minute!

Better hold the phone!"

She marched right up to Yang and jabbed her in the chest with a finger.

"Better mind your manners-

Better watch your tone!"

"Why does she suddenly sound like old Weiss?" Ruby shivered.

"I wasn't that bad... was I?" Weiss asked, suddenly self-conscious.

The looks from the others told her everything she needed. "...Drat."

Jaune produced a knife and attempted to stab the woman from behind- she spun around and shoved him to the ground almost effortlessly.

"Don't you threaten me, son!

You've got a lot of gall,

But we're gonna do things my way,

Or we won't do things at aaaaaall!"

She dodged a punch from Yang, leaping back onto the boulder upon which she'd just been crouched, then began to... change. Her head twisted until it was upside down. "Oh, yeah! You're in trouble now!" Limbs began to emerge from her torso, tentacle-like and spider-esque at the same time.

"Yang, I really don't like this," Ruby whimpered, hiding behind her sister.

The rest were hard-pressed to disagree- aside from Waterboy, who couldn't stop laughing.

The woman(?) continued laughing as her writhing limbs bore her body aloft- suddenly, the cave began ringing with music- most haunting of all, the bodies strung around the cavern were backing the monster up.

Instead of directly attacking, she continued her song.

"You don't know what you're messing with-

You've got no idea!

You don't know what you're looking at,

When you're looking here!"

"She's got that right," Nora nodded- even she was looking on with pure revulsion.

"You don't know what you're up against-

No, no way, no how!

You don't know what you're messing with,

But I'm gonna tell you now!"

As Teams WBY and JNPR began to move, producing their weapons and preparing to fight, the bodies around the cavern sang along.

"Nooooooo-

"Oooooooooo-

"Oooooooooowwwww!"

The woman spun around, landing on her feet, doing an odd, kicking dance.

"I'm just a mean, lean mother from outer space,

And I'm bad!"

("Mean, lean, bad!")

"Outer space?" Ren pondered, glancing at Nora- but under the circumstances, she was actually quiet.

"I'm just a mean, lean mother from outer space,

And it looks like you've been had!

"Yeah, I'm a mean, lean mother from outer space,

So get off my back!

Get out my face!

'Cause I'm Mean and Lean!

(Mean and Lean!)

And I am... bad!"

Beyond all reason, Ruby found herself smiling. "What's up with you?" Blake asked. "I thought you'd be more afraid than anyone."

"Honestly, it's... kinda catchy," Ruby admitted, bobbing her head along with the music.

Everyone was taken aback, but none moreso than Yang.

Yang pulled out a pistol that the creature managed to grab with a tendril and begin firing at complete random, cackling all the while.

Ruby's face darkened. "That is not how to use guns!" she shouted.

"Yeah, even I know that!" Jaune nodded fervently.

The woman didn't seem to care, continuing to sing as she made the fighters dance.

"Wanna save your skins, kids?

You wanna save your hide?

You wanna see tomorrow?

You better step aside!

Better take a hint, kids-

It's some good advice!

You better take it easy-

You're walking on thin iiiiiice!"

Pyrrha snuck up behind and ran what seemed like a makeshift spear through one of her limbs- the creature pulled back, allowing it to break off, but quickly replaced it with another.

"Go Pyrrha!" Nora cheered. "At least you hurt it!"

"We need something better," Weiss pondered.

"You don't know what you're messing with,

And you never did!

You don't know what you're looking at-

Well, that's tough titties, kid!

This lion won't sleep tonight,

And when you pull her tail, she roars!"

The woman seemed to grin even more darkly as the others managed to sever more limbs that simply regrew.

"You say, 'That ain't fair, that ain't right!'

You know what I say? 'Up yours!

"Bitch," Yang growled.

"But isn't that basically your entire motto?" Blake pointed out slyly.

"Not the time, Kitkat!"

The woman landed on her feet again and went back to kicking.

"I'm a mean lean mother from outer space,

And I'm bad! (Mean, lean, bad!)

Just a mean lean mother, a real disgrace!"

And suddenly, out of nowhere, she suddenly dropped the theatrics, the music ceased, and she spoke, absolutely serious, no hint of a smile in sight. "And you've got me fighting mad."

"That's somehow the most unsettling part," Blake commented.

Just as suddenly as it had ceased, the music started again- the woman's grin returned, as did her kicking.

"Just a mean lean mother from outer space,

Here to trash your ass and wreck this place,

cause I'm (Mean and Lean!)

And I am...

Bad!"

She entered into a sort of combat dance with each of her enemies, dodging and striking back- only their own deftness kept them from being cleaved in half.

"Wait... where'd Jaune go?" Pyrrha asked, panicking.

"I didn't run out, did I?" Jaune asked, looking nervous.

"No! You'd never have done that, fearless leader!" Nora insisted.

"Never!" Ruby affirmed- though the rest of her team didn't look quite so confident.

"Don't talk to me 'bout old King Kong-

Think he's the worst? You're thinking wrong!

Don't talk to me 'bout Frankenstein-

He's got a temper? He ain't got mine!

"I'm no creature from the Black Lagoon,

I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon!

You can keep Salem- old droopy tits!

You can keep Cinder- she ain't shit!"

Yang found her gun on the ground and opened fire- empty clicking ensued.

"LAAAAAAAAME!" Yang called.

"I'm a killer born from a power stem-

This rose has thorns, and I'm using them!

Time to move on out- Nature calls!

Got my point? I'm gonna bust your balls!"

She drove one of her tendrils towards Ren's groin- she missed by mere centimeters.

"That does it!" Nora yelled. "Grow all the legs you want, lady, imma breakin' them all!"

Ren nodded, maintaining a steady face as he crossed his legs.

The woman didn't seem perturbed.

"I'm mean and lean-

mean and lean-

mean and lean-

and I!

Am!

Ba-"

She was cut off as Jaune appeared, stabbing her through the back, causing her to roar in pain. The music stopped, and she managed to pull free, still screaming in pain as she suddenly leapt into the air towards a small hole in the ground, her body seemingly deflating to fit through it, like an old cartoon.

When she was gone, everyone else stared at each other. "Well, I know what I'm writing for my summer experience essay," Nora remarked.

The screen blacked out.

"See! You'd never abandon us!" Ruby grinned, punching Jaune lightly on the shoulder.

"Never doubted you a second," Ren smiled gently.

"All hail the conquering hero!" Nora trilled.

"Well done, Jaune," Pyrrha praised gently.

Jaune turned bright red. "I mean, it wasn't really me, per se..."

Weiss held her tongue- like Yang and Blake, she was feeling somewhat guilty for even considering that Jaune might have abandoned them, but then another thought crossed her mind.

"Wait- so what did that universe have to do with-"

Waterboy was gone.

"Where'd he go?"

"I didn't see him go," Blake commented.

"Last I saw him was the beginning of the song," Pyrrha recalled.

"Oohhhhh..." Crazy grumbled as he finally emerged from the room with George at his side. "You didn't have to hit so hard..."

"And you didn't have to BETRAY me," George countered.

"Yeah, yeah... hey, guys, what happened- Jaune! Where did you come from?!"

"Wha- didn't you bring him here?" Weiss demanded.

"I didn't- you, Georgie?"

"I was too busy teaching you a lesson."

"By which you mean replacing my liver with my kidney... anything else happen while we were gone?"

"A friend of yours came, Waterboy, and-"

"Waterboy?" Crazy's eyes widened. "Oh, boy..." He scanned the room quickly, and confirmed his suspicions. "Smeg, smeg, smeg- HE STOLE MY FREAKING COFFEE TABLE!"

XXXX

An idea I had to get out of my head if I was going to get ahead with any of my other stories. My apologies if you expected something more substantial- it's coming in the not-too-distant future. Speaking of substantial, reader reaction has officially warranted a continuation of the previous chapter- the exact form it will take, I plan on running a poll for! When in doubt, poll it! If you wanna see it as a story on its own, vote! You wanna see it carried on primarily in YaM? Vote! Wanna see both? Vote! Wanna see neither? Well... it's pretty well gonna happen regardless, but I guess you could vote for that, too. Going up at the same time as this chapter- I'll keep saying it til the day I die. Vote, vote, vote, or forever hold your peace. Until a chapter of greater substance arrives, please R&R, constructive criticism embraced, Gamer4 out!