Chapter One - The Pain of Childcare

Pain watched as the little girl sat amongst the mass of toys he had acquired for her, internally sweat-dropping as she passed each and every one of them to focus her blue eyes on a stack of paper far bigger than herself. Pushing herself off the floor with her dainty arms she grabbed at the stack, finding herself being scooped up into the arms of one of the six orange-haired guardians watching her with swirly eyes.

"You must be more careful," Pain scolded her as the stack of paper collapsed, his eyes softening from afar as her head hung low, causing her lavender locks to hide her face.

Depositing her on the floor, now covered in paper, he watched as the girl of three years began to pick up the paper, her eyes watering slightly as she gazed at it.

"What is wrong, Aiko?"

Pain frowned as the girl let out a low whine, stepping back as the guardian with long orange hair stepped forward and placed a hand on top of her head. The face of Konan flashed before his eyes.

"I know you miss your okaa-san, but I promise she will be back soon."

The man watched as Aiko pouted, pursing her lips and puffing up her cheeks.

"What can I do to make it better?"

The girl lifted her head shyly, a sly smile on her face as she turned to the guardian with a ponytail.

"Kitty?" she pleaded, blue eyes shining.

"Very well," the guardian nodded, placing a palm onto the floor and summoning six ginger felines.

Aiko let out a shriek, scooping up all six felines in an impressive display of strength and dexterity for a toddler. Somewhere in Konohagakure, the mission delegates shuddered, fearing the rise of a ninja era in which Tora the cat is captured in record time.

"Fly, fly!" she chanted, still clutching the ginger felines.

Pain lifted his hand slowly as the cats jumped from her grasp, circling below her feet as she hovered off the ground and let out a high pitched giggle. Her arms stretched out for the paper on the floor, and Pain obliged, watching as she clasped two sheets of paper.

"Look, oji-san. I'm okaa-san," she shrieked, flapping her arms around gleefully, treating the sheets of paper as if they were her wings. "Birdies!"

The animal path obliged, placing his palm on the ground and causing a mass of robins to emerge, each taking flight to swirl around the girl.

"Ride, ride!" she cried, looking to the animal path expectantly.

"Don't you think you have enough summons to play with?" Pain stated, looking towards the cats that were now eyeing up the birds, their tails swishing furiously.

"But, oji-san," the girl whined, her blue eyes shining as she pouted.

Before her heavy gaze, the man behind Pain willed himself to stay strong.

XxX

Konan flashed through multiple hand signs, the seals on their current location unlocking to cause half a zoo to come running out, a turtle following slowly behind them. Coming across Aiko's play room, Konan gave Pain a hardened look as scraps of paper covered every inch of the room, patted down by multiple animal tracks, including a giant one that looked like an elephant. Before her, little Aiko was brushing the hair of the animal path, having already given the human path french braids.

"Okaa-san!" the girl cried, kicking off the ground and floating towards her mother who caught her in her arms.

"What have I said about making demands, Aiko?" the woman said pointedly, touching her finger to the point of the girl's nose.

Aiko looked sheepish, shrugging her shoulders to plead ignorance as Konan moved the girl to her hip.

"You're spoiling her," Konan murmured, her eyes narrowed on Pain's form, her words directed to the man behind his actions.

"How is the new recruit?" Pain choose to ask, opting to change the topic.

At this, Aiko's eyes lit up, turning to her mother eagerly.

"New friend?" she asked.

"That's right, Aiko. Okaa-san made a new friend today," Konan cooed, using her hand to sweep the stray hair that swept across the girl's face.

"I wonna meet, I wonna meet," she chanted, squirming against her mother's grasp.

Konan lowered the girl onto the floor, who ran to grab a piece of paper and some crayons, before looking up to her mother expectantly.

"Not right now, little one," Pain nodded, watching as the girl let out a whine at not being able to add the new member to her wall.

Huffing, Aiko ran to her super special wall, gazing affectionately at all her friends. These consisted of a paper chain of stick men, one with lavender hair, six orange squiggles, one with what looked like a cacti on his head, two black lines with two bright green ovals in between, a bright red X, one surrounded by string, and one with a variety of red lines on their face who clutched a twig. The one thing they all had in common was their bodies, all of which were coloured with red swirls surrounded by black to represent the cloaks each of them wore.

"Soon?" the girl asked, looking up to Pain and Konan with puppy-dog eyes.

"Soon," Pain confirmed, earning himself a glare from Konan.

XxX

"And who is this?" Orochimaru grinned, looking down at the child before him with lavender hair.

"Aiko," the girl half-shouted, bowing before Orochimaru.

"She is Konan's brat," Sasori informed his new partner from Hiruko's body.

"How interesting," Orochimaru commented, stretching out his hand towards the girl.

His hand twitched back as a giant sword was placed between the two, Juzo flashing his sharp teeth at the man from within his red lattice of face markings.

"Don't go getting any ideas," the swordsman warned. "Pain-sama has instructed me to ensure her safety."

The girl seemed unfazed by the display of power, her blue eyes peeking out over the sword as she looked towards Orochimaru expectantly.

"Friends?" she questioned him, causing the Sannin to smirk as he narrowed his yellow eyes on her small form.

"I don't know," the snake drauled, causing the girl to blink at him. "Why would I want you to be my friend?"

"Cus I want you to be," the girl huffed, folding her arms as if the answer was obvious.

"A word of warning," Hiruko grumbled. "The girl has Pain wrapped around her finger, and unless you don't want to die a cruel death, I suggest you accept her offer."

"Is that so?" Orochimaru smirked, looking down at the girl. "Then perhaps we should be friends."

The girl smiled, her cheeks lifting in glee as she rushed to claim some paper and crayons. Orochimaru watched with interest as the girl crafted a paper figure, colouring its head with yellow orbs and long black hair before finishing it with the signature cloak. Once her work was complete she ran to the man, eyes shining as she handed him the paper doll.

"You," she breathed, looking up to him expectantly as she pointed towards the doll.

The snake-Sannin looked amused.

"Play?" she requested, hearing a huff from Hiruko.

"She only accepts high ranking jutsu," Hiruko advised.

Orochimaru grinned, "very well."

Aiko watched with interest as his skin began to flake, scrunching up her nose in disgust as it began to shed onto her shoes. The Sannin lowered his head, his neck snapping up so that it stretched beyond reason, lurching at the face of the little girl who didn't bat an eyelid.

"Giraffe-no-jutsu?" she questioned, frowning at his long neck.

Juzo burst out laughing, watching as the girl sighed in disappointment.

"Sasori-san, Sasori-san," the girl called, rushing over to sit in front of Hiruko. "Play!"

Orochimaru retracted his neck, waving a hand in front of his face to restore his original form. His eyes narrowed on the girl, watching as she clapped her hands at the appearance of two small puppets, each of them donning Akatsuki cloaks.

"Don't worry about it, Jiraffe-san," Juzo chuckled, patting the Sannin on the back and earning himself an amusing glare. "Sasori is her favourite to play with, other than Pain-sama of course."

Juzo watched as Orochimaru approached the child once more, staring down at her as she watched the two Akatsuki battle a giant white snake puppet.

"And what jutsu can you perform exactly?" Orochimaru scoffed.

"Dunno," the girl shrugged.

"Well how are we supposed to play if you don't know any jutsu?"

Aiko turned to the man, tilting her head at him.

"Teach me?" she questioned, her lips slanting slightly.

"I suppose I could," the Sannin smirked, eyes alight as the girl gave him her devoted attention.

The sound of a whip echoed throughout the room as Juzo mimicked one with a shake of his head, watching as another member of Akatsuki fell under the thumb of a three year old girl.

A/N: Hello! Wow, I am really excited to finally be getting this story out there. I've been sitting on it for a while and finally completed it to the end of Naruto Part I and decided I couldn't sit on it any longer. So please enjoy! There is a storyline, but honestly I like to make people laugh, so stay tuned if you love those die-hard 'must face palm for this character so much right now' moments!