Catra's fist pounded on the button to shut the door. Her hand remained clenched as she walked to her bathroom in her private chambers. The training halls that housed the screams of new and young recruits were almost drowned out. Pain Desensitization Treatment is what the Horde called it. A new lesson every day and so happened to be the closest training hall to Catra's quarters. A constant reminder of where she came from.

We are, we are

We are made from broken parts

We are, we are

We are broken from the start

She placed her hands on the edges of the small sink stained with rust, soap scum, and the remains of spattered, dry spit. She shuttered a breath and ran the water. A moment of hesitation before she took it in handfuls over her face. Her ears flicked with each splashing. She shut off the water and ran her trembling hands through her hair to dry them. A slow rising of her head looked through the shattered mirror that was barely hanging on the wall. She could hardly look at herself anymore.

Our hearts, our hearts

They were beating in the dark

Cause we are, we are

We are built from broken parts

It had been three months since she last saw Adora. But, that look Adora gave her. That last look of disgrace, it was this that she saw every time she closed her eyes. The look that made her face what she'd become. And, in every effort to tell herself that Adora was wrong, it was nothing compared to the disdain Adora had for her that night. To be told to live with the choices she made was like a hex on her very being.

If you can lose it all, then welcome to Broadway

Silicone dreams and your name on the Marque

And I can hold it up, but I hold it up hardly

It's hotter here in hell, but it's getting real dark see

So all you sick and the bitterness of the lonely

To all you overdosed and you miles of coke fiends

And every step, another step, you're walking on my dreams

Catra snarled at herself when she turned away. She left the bathroom and went to her bed. A quick wrapping of her blanket and she was shrouded under dark blue. She forced herself to be still. The fact of the matter was, she didn't want to be part of the Horde anymore. But to leave the Horde meant losing her purpose. How much more did she need to lose before it was truly nothing left?

Her eyes hurt. She resisted closing them and endured the dry haze so she wouldn't have to see that face. Just a moment longer to enjoy the blank, green, metal wall. And then her eyes shut. Adora glared at her behind those lids. She seemed to get angrier and more monstrous. She was larger than she remembered. Catra's tail flicked under the blanket and her ears seemed to pull back against her head. Subtle groans as Catra tried to will the image away. A memory of when Adora was still with the Horde, but even then, it mutated. Catra rubbed her eyes to wash the image away. "FINE!" escaped her throat and a nudge from her hand made her headpiece fall from her face. She caught herself and muttered a breathy, "fine," as if to correct herself.

And every breath, another breath you're breathing when I breathe

I watch them all come, gotta watch the rest go

I'm married to the devil in the city of angels

So come all you wicked to the world of the empty

I know I need it all, so baby don't tempt me

I'm knocking on our door, nope, nobody sent me

Just checking all you bitches like I'm checking this check sheet

You can see God, when I take my mask off

She released a lengthy sigh. With her eyes closed, she stared back. "I fucked up," she said to herself, "I just wanted-" she released a grunted breath. She turned to the edge of the bed and lifted her mattress to reach for a notebook and a blunt pencil that was stuffed in a creased page. Most of the pages had been torn and removed entirely. She slid the blanket off her head to her shoulders and kept an ear towards the door. She scratched the end of the pencil giving herself enough of the point to write with.

Adora,

I fucked up.

She lingered on every word. She hated the thought of apologizing and it was a struggle to get her thoughts out. And yet, she persisted. Anything to get the image of Adora out of her head.

I never thought you'd give up on me. I guess I should have expected it sooner or later. I've lost everything else, so why not?

She immediately scratched out the three sentences. It's not the point she wanted to make. It wasn't the thing she wanted to confront.

When we were kids, the Horde and you were all I thought about. How we'd rule the world, together. It would have been ours to shape however we wanted. We just needed to play our parts until it happened. I thought you knew.

It wasn't long before her vision blurred behind her tears. She rubbed her eyes on her shoulders with a quick jerking across them. After a sharp sniffling, she continued.

How was I supposed to let go of that? How was I supposed to make the right choice? How did you?

Catra threw her pen in the notebook and stashed it between her mattress again. She shut off the lights to the room and curled into her pillow. Another night of restless sleep. But now it was possible to close her eyes. That Adora had finally turned her head down and away.

The fame is your best friend, you love it no questions,

Beating down the door is the face of rejection

And once again, it's a tragedy anthem

We never wanted more, we never needed your blessing

~~oO0Oo~~

Nearly another month had come to a close. The Fright Zone's shoddy repairs were almost complete but the Rebellion was advancing and reclaiming their territory. Hordak had not mentioned a word of it. His orders remained firm and unchanged - fortify the Fright Zone. Confrontation with him had been less appealing than usual. He rubbed the glowing tech in his collar. It distracted him whenever he was given reports of the Rebellion's progress. Half listening as he felt the etching.

Entrapta's uncontrollable wriggling after having been tased flashed in Catra's mind. Catra drew a sharp breath at the flash and felt a deepening pit in her stomach. She suspected that Hordak somehow knew of her lies and was waiting until his lab was put back together again to punish her like before…, or worse.

She stood there before him. His back was turned and he faced monitors that depicted a map of Etheria as he held steady to his collar. Catra was unsure if she needed to coax his permission for dismissal or if she should have taken his silence as such. Catra began to open her mouth but was relieved to hear Hordak speak first. "I… acknowledge… your loyalty."

Catra had crossed her chest with an arm, "Thank you Lord Hordak." She gave a short bow and held it.

"Dismissed."

Catra turned and left. His words angered her. As she got closer to her quarters she was downright seething. Her hands curled into fists and her shoulders stiffened until she passed through the door. It was a surprise that the button to close the door survived the force of her strike. The beating of her heart boomed in her ears and she could hardly contain herself. She turned to face the wall and clawed it hard. Wordless shouts with each strike.

Who could give a fuck about a kid with a dream?

Cause stories aren't told about the ones unseen

With a gleam in her eye, her middle finger to the sky

Crooked smile on her face, she doesn't think she can die

So grab a pick and an axe, cause we try, we cry

Into the bottle of Jack, we die inside

A lifetime of loyalty and he only acknowledges it now. And that was all he had to say. How many times has she nearly died for the Horde; for Hordak?

So when you look in his eyes, what you see now?

Murder the monster you've made and watch him bleed out

What was the point? There was nothing to gain. There was nothing left of Catra for her to give. Nothing for this purposeless war.

We're in a life where it's kill or lose

Just lie motherfucker till you hear the truth

Through Catra's anger, she shuddered a laugh. She let out a guffaw at Adora entering her thoughts. It entered like smoke from stubborn embers that wouldn't go out. Smoke that permeated the air and choked out any other thought. She entertained it internally, chuckling at her dialogue and convincing herself to defect.

From under the street, through the gutters of youth

Just cry motherfucker yeah, I'm talking to you

One last laugh just before the tears began to build. She placed a clawed hand on the wall to recover and took a few breaths. A loose swipe before heading to her bed to grab her notebook.

Hey, you think if I asked real nice,

Catra took a moment to clear the tears and laughed at herself.

you'd let me stay with you? You think you'd be able to believe me? Wouldn't you believe I hate it here? That I hate everything? I am so sick of hating everything.

She groaned through gritted teeth to suppress a sob.

Did you know Hordak "acknowledged" me today. What an honor, right? Fuck him. Fuck everything he did to me. Fuck this place. He failed and he's WORTHLESS!

It wasn't supposed to be like this! I was angry. But you knew that.

Every word came out without direction and aimed for a target that didn't exist.

I want to go home, Adora. I don't even know where that is.

Another shuddered laugh through her tears.

Maybe, if you say yes, it's with you.

I guess we'll find out.

Catra clawed the page out of her notebook and curled her body into a tight ball. She suppressed her cries the best she could but the painful groans still seeped out. Her decision was made, though.

From the city of angels

An empty vessel of devils

Is there no one to save us?

Defecting from the Horde meant certain death and if she were going to die anyway, she'd do it on her terms. Death seemed like a plausible option no matter where she went and if it were going to be done by anybody, she'd rather it be by Adora's hand. Her head rose with a deep breath. With her letter still crumpled in her hand she thought to set it aflame. Instead, she brought out a backpack and stuffed it deep within.

She suddenly froze to the lights going out. This wasn't an uncommon occurrence at the Fright Zone but it never failed to put Catra on edge. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the barely visible light and this was an opportunity she wouldn't pass up. She got up, stuffed her blanket in the pack, and headed to the eating halls. On the way she picked up a stun baton. When she entered, she immediately went for the brown ration bars. Her pack was getting heavy and decided it was enough.

Through my eyes see the world that you gave us

The lights began to flicker. Power was going to be restored soon and she had to make a hasty walk to the vehicle bay. When she finally arrived, power was restored. It didn't matter. She had all the access codes to leave. She headed toward a skiff but stopped in front of it. She took a detour to a tank and retrieved a single round of explosive ammunition. She placed it near the fueling station and pulled out her baton. No one nearby batted an eye. It was Catra, the death bringer of the Rebellion. That was going to change.

She unpinned her badge and tossed it. She charged her weapon and spilled fuel on the floor and over the explosive round. A slow blink of her eyes. A slow deep breath. She threw the baton high in the air and darted for the skiff in a quick sprint and rocketed herself out of the vehicle bay.

It was their distant screams she heard first before she felt the searing heat on her back. Even as she kept going farther away, she still felt it. Burst after rupturing burst it went on until the sky filled with black.

She kept her eyes forward. Not once did it occur to turn her head back. Everything that was behind her, that life, was done. She charged for the Whispering Woods. But on the other side, if she found her way, she was sure it was going to be as dark and grim as the sky over the Fright Zone.

As she neared the edge of the Woods, she slowed the skiff to quietly enter. Light from the moons barely crept through the dense foliage. The only path her skiff could fit through was winding and led her deeper into treacherous terrain. She was suddenly alarmed by the shift in light. The moonlight came in from the right when she entered and now shone through from the left. She was going the wrong way. She couldn't turn the skiff around. Tree limbs made her path smaller and there was no way to maneuver. It was time to get out.

Thorny clusters of bramble surrounded her. It was difficult to get by. The only path that led her into the right direction darkened to something nearly unnavigable. It would not be so much of a problem for Catra had it not been for the unknown wildlife that lurked within. She pressed on. She thought to reach a higher vantage point if it weren't for the bramble covering every unit of space on all the trees ahead of her. She had to make due with the unknown from below for now.

She kept her eyes above. She made sure whatever light crept it, it kept her on the right path. It had been hours and she grew tired. It was dangerous and sleeping on the ground left her vulnerable. Sleeping with one eye open wasn't something unfamiliar to her but she knew there were much larger inhabitants. Being their food was not an option.

She thought to claw away at the bramble and make use of their thorns. It was a struggle. It was tougher to cut with her claws than she thought. She tried grasping at the branches between the thorns but there had been even smaller ones that bit into her fingers. Frustrated and lethargic, she rested. She pulled a ration bar from her pack and munched. When she finished she attempted her effort to free the bramble from the tree once more. Once she was able to break some free she spread it around as a minor defense mechanism. She leaned up against the tree bark, pulled her blanket out of the pack, and wrapped herself with it. She peered into the darkness. Not a single creature was around. She closed her eyes.

Soft whispers of wind blew through the branches. Catra first heard only shushes, but it wasn't long before it began to sound like conversation. She woke, "Who's there!" A quick scurrying of a few critters had flown away to Catra's question. She looked around and there was no one. The shushes stopped momentarily. She grunted at herself and closed her eyes again.

She knew the scattered bramble on the ground would do nothing to stop a predator but it was all she had. At best, it would serve as a warning. She regret not taking an extra weapon with her. Her fingers were still sore and she thought that thorns may have possessed a weak venom. Lesson learned, life continues to suck with whatever decision she makes.

Daylight made itself apparent the next morning but the overcast made it difficult to tell where it came from. And the thick coverage of trees hadn't helped. She reached for her pack and ate another ration bar. As she ate she concentrated on the shadows and she took her best guess to where the light was coming from. It would have to do to make any progress. She finished and made her way in the direction she trusted most to be toward Bright Moon.

About mid-day she came across a stream. Etherian deer and critters alike had made themselves known for the first time. It seemed that the deeper into the woods she traveled, the more she would encounter its inhabitants. This also meant she'd be more likely to encounter a predator she couldn't overpower.

She approached the stream and cupped the water with her hand. It had stung her fingers where thorns had pricked them. The autumn weather had chilled the water and was crisp as it trickled down her throat. The deer looked in her direction with mild curiosity but had otherwise kept to themselves. When Catra had her fill, she moved on again.

She noticed that the farther she entered, the sky was more visible and paths were more open. Moreover, the thorny bramble no longer took over the trees. She took advantage of the moment and began to climb one of the ancient trees. Unfortunately, it didn't appear to help. The height of it didn't appear that tall from ground level, but upon going higher, it seemed like there was no end. She sighed a grunt and climbed back down. Tracking her progress by the bright moon's filtered light would have to suffice. She thought back to how much easier it would have been if she stole a tank instead. The skiff was the smarter decision but she didn't know how long she'd have to stay in the woods with the limited rations she brought along.

Dusk arrived and she decided to take a break and wait for the night's moons to rise. Having only been side tracked only a couple times she felt good about her progress. She leaned against a tree with the least amount of bramble that clung to the exposed roots and just took in the chilled air. She hadn't noticed the cold while she was moving but now she couldn't help but shiver. She pulled out her blanket and wrapped herself.

She closed her eyes and listened to the shushes of the wind. Adora appeared in her mind again. Catra thought she had been done with those nightmares. It was apparent that even weeks without any dreams, Adora always found a way to creep back into her thoughts.

Adora was in Hordak's sanctum but she wasn't as She-Ra. Tears filled her angry eyes that gawked at Catra. She watched herself place a hand on the switch that would throw their world into complete chaos. She saw her own crazed grin filled with malice and hatred. Catra looked toward where the sword had been held but it was missing. As she turned her head back, Adora had already driven the sword through her.

Catra jolted awake in panic and felt her abdomen with the tips of her fingers. She panted hard. Puffs of her breath could be seen in large plumes in the cold. Then came the wet in her eyes. She beat the ground with the sides of her fist and wiped the tears away. She got up and stayed angry. It was the only way she knew how to stop the crippling sadness.

She progressed onward. The moon light had lit the ground well enough and it was relatively easy for her to navigate. After a few hours the ground was different. It seemed to become more hollow and strangely more rough. The air around her feet was peculiar; warm. It came in waves of heat. The path ahead began to glow with a light blue color. Fear suddenly struck her heart. She wasn't on the ground.

Beasts under her feet began to move and tremble. She stumbled upon a nest of them and there was little she could do to get away. She tried to make her way to the nearest tree but the beasts were waking and moving in the opposite direction. She clung to one of the spinal horns on the beast she was on but it had rocked so hard she was falling off. She kicked hard off it's back toward another that was charging right along the others. She grasped whatever she could on the next beast. She grit her teeth and looked at the next tree that was quickly coming at her. With a hard leap she slammed the right side of her body into the bark. Her claws dragged along the sides until it finally held her. She writhed in pain as splintered bark bit into her. She forced herself to ignore the pain and climb the tree. It didn't feel like it would hold long against the stampeding beasts that kept knocking into it. It didn't. As Catra climbed, the tree began to slowly pivot and was forced to leap once more. The splinters in her arm hurt more when she had to flex her muscles and she cried out. She finally got far away enough to rest. She held fast to the limb she was on until the stampede finally passed.

When it was all over, she began to work on her arm and side. While small in size, the needles of bark were excruciating to pull out. She was successful in getting the larger splinters out but it was too difficult to get the smaller ones. She'd have to deal with the discomfort for now. She climbed down from the safety of the limb and looked ahead. A few hours worth of the day's travel seemed to have become undone. She had no choice but to make up for it before resting again. At the very least, her path seemed clear now.

The progress she lost was made up and she ventured even farther. A tinge of fear startled her when she noticed the foliage and bramble were getting thicker again. She almost believed she had backtracked to where she lost her skiff but the moonlight told her otherwise. The woods grew more densely on the borders as a protective barrier. At least she knew she was close now. She contemplated sleeping in a tree but the bramble seemed to be more trouble than it's worth and the inhabitants seemed to have thinned out. Smaller creatures, only interested in the nuts and berries, scurried around.

Catra took refuge beside a nice stoney boulder covered in a thick layer of moss. It had been the most comfortable thing to lie against in that cursed woods. In a few more hours she'd continue her journey, but for now, she'd take her moment of peace to sleep.

Misery felt quite lonely that evening and sought after Catra for comfort. She awoke after only a few hours of sleep. What felt like icy fingertips brushing over her ears and face, she came to realize it began to rain. Time to move again.

With a labored grunt, she managed to get herself up without too much pain. She covered her head with the blanket and began her trek. It wasn't long before all her muscles felt sore against the cold. She could no longer see the moon's position but she was confident that if the woods became more of a nightmare, she was heading in the right direction.

The rain eventuality came down even heavier and Catra thought to wait out the storm once she found cover. Up ahead of her was some large deadwood that she crawled inside. She hadn't been the only one that looked for cover there. A few squirrels tried to bark at her to claim the territory for themselves but Catra only hissed back. They scurried to the far end of the deadwood and left her alone.

Hours passed and the rain still didn't let up. The cold reminded her of her dance with Adora. The gleam in Adora's eyes on that frozen floor. It was fun while it lasted. The memory left a pit in her stomach. She couldn't decide whether it was regret or guilt but it brought pain to her heart. She reminded herself, the pain would end soon.

Water searched and found cracks in the deadwood and began to trickle in. Another hour passed and the wind became wild. It was as if the storm was specifically targeting Catra with what seemed like buckets of water spilling into her only shelter. At this point, inside the tree was no different than out. She had to move again.

She wrapped her blanket over her head to cover her ears and trudged through the slippery, sodden land. Little light was visible except for flashes of lightning. In some parts of the woods she had to wait for those flashes to see ahead. Onward for hours of darkness she shivered in the cold while she made slow progress.

A glimmer of light shone on the ground ahead. It was not lightning and no moon light could breach the storm. It was the moonstone that glowed ever bright like a needed beacon. At this point, when Catra finally exited the cursed woods, her body was so cold that she had to grind her teeth to stop them from wildly chattering. The clacking alone was enough to damage her teeth let alone remove her tongue should it accidentally slip between the gnashing.

Catra looked ahead the best she could. Her shivering had made the world around her shake but she would use every ounce of her energy to complete the journey. Guards were posted around the rune stone but had their backs turned as they huddled together. Catra darted across the shallow moat that surrounded the castle and made a run for structure that housed the occupants of Bright Moon. The last obstacle that Catra had to figure out was of which window was Adora's.

A long flash of lightning had exposed a large puddle under a large circular window and scuff marks that trailed up to it. She leaned against the wall and huffed to catch her breath. Under the cover of the booming thunder she jabbed her claws into the wall and began to climb. She risked shivering off the wall but she was determined. Bits of stone had fought to get under her nails. She had hoped it was the correct window.

A brief flicker of a childhood memory of both of them escaping through the vents at the Fright Zone together. Sneaking around the junkyard without suspicion and later climbing back in from where they came. It had to be Adora's window. It had to be.

She made one last effort to hoist herself onto the window's ledge. She peered in as her labored breath lightly fogged the glass. Adora was there in her bed asleep. She leaned against the window. Her shivering was enough of a wrapping to wake Adora. A flash of lightning had silhouetted Catra's figure. She placed a weak hand on the glass and tried to get Adora to open. A bright flash but this time it came from Adora. She waved her sword in fear, not quite making out who was at her window. Catra was beginning to slip with her shivering.

Adora hesitated. She screamed at herself internally to turn into She-Ra, to shout the words, to alert the guards, to give any sign that an enemy had infiltrated Bright Moon, but she didn't. Instead she transformed the sword back to a wrist cuff and walked over to the window to unlock it. She pushed a side and the glass pivoted from its center. The wind made the window turn faster than she expected and Catra immediately fell forward with a wet shlop.

Adora quickly shut the window and knelt by her. Catra was shaking uncontrollably. "Catra?" Adora whispered out. She placed a hand on her shoulder. "Catra, you're freezing." Adora rushed to get bath towels and slipped off Catra backpack. She wrapped her up and rubbed her arms, "This isn't going to work." Adora was right, she needed to get warm faster. She looped her arms under Catra's legs and shoulders and hastily brought her to the bathroom. She sat her on the edge of the bathtub and carefully placed her in.

Catra feared the hand that reached for the valve to fill the tub with water. Between her stuttering gasps, she tried to backpedal away, but she was too wet to gain any traction. Adora stopped herself and held her hand, "Please…, trust me," she said. Catra closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable. A small squeak and the water rose from the bottom of the tub slowly. Catra gasped a breath, "I-I-It's… sss…, w-w-w…," she struggled to get the words out, "w-warm-mm-mm." Catra couldn't believe it. Never had she felt warm water. She never thought it was possible. The Fright Zone had never heated their water and beverages had always been cold. Nothing in her life made her believe that this fluid could have such a property.

"I was pretty shocked, too, when I first came here." Adora removed her night shirt that had been wetted by Catra's body and opted to slip on a robe. She then grabbed a washcloth and soaked it before placing it on top of Catra's head. Without any fuss, Adora removed Catra's mask. The water lightly splashed to Catra's shivering but it soon slowed. Water began to turn cloudy given Catra's soiled clothes and body. Dirt began to float and smell the air. Adora pressed a button that sucked in the filth and, in short moments, had cleaned the water. Catra would be in further bewilderment had she not been preoccupied with just staying alive.

Eventually, Catra's shivering came to a stop. She closed her eyes and she began to nod off. Adora rubbed her face to wake her a little. "Not yet, Catra." She needed to get Catra's clothes over to wash her properly. Adora began to lift her shirt and then suddenly grimaced at the dark bruising that covered Catra's side. "Oh, Catra," she said with such pity. She held out her hand and transformed her cuff into the sword. "Catra, do you trust me?" It was a quiet question to which she was given a nervous nod. Adora raised her sword and whispered with determination, "For the honor of Grayskull!" Luckily, shouting the words was not a requirement.

She-Ra leaned over Catra, "Be still." Catra watched She-Ra's eyes glow brightly and stirred a new type of fear in her. The sword began to rise on its own and emanate a power that seemed to be extracted from ether. Bolts of steady energy enveloped She-Ra's hands. She slowly brought them to Catra's side and caused the water, too, to emit light. Catra gasped as the euphoric sensation that coursed through her body. Tears pooled in her eyes. To feel no pain was so foreign to her that it was difficult to interpret.

She-Ra pulled her hands away and revert her transformation. The bruising had disappeared and her skin was no longer tender or sore. Catra grazed her fingertips against her side. Too amazed to speak she had only stared at Adora for answers. None had come, however. After a breath, Adora clasped the sword back to her arm as a cuff. She then proceeded to remove Catra's clothing as she had started before. The Horde uniform was discarded into a trash bin as if to hide the reminder of who Adora once was. It was also to let Catra know that she did not intend to have her wear them again. They were torn anyway.

Adora poured a small amount of soap into the water and swirled it around. She got behind Catra, stuck her legs in the water, and sat on the edge of the tub. The bath felt cooler than it should have been. Adora leaned over Catra's head and hit another button that would heat the water while it recycled through the filters. Catra's shoulders, almost immediately, relaxed to the warmth.

Adora finger-combed Catra's hair and removed bits of debris and knotted tangles. It took time. No words were spoken between them. Catra was exhausted and Adora didn't want to ask anything that wouldn't get well articulated answers.

Adora's fingers would drag along Catra's scalp and Catra closed her eyes to the combing. As she was nodding off, she slipped out a soft purr. Embarrassment washed over her and she gasped awake. Adora said nothing and showed no sign one way or the other how she felt.

When she finished with Catra's hair, she tilted her head back. Adora looked down at her and used the washcloth to go over Catra's face. Gentle strokes had forced her eyes to close. When she opened them again she saw Adora's brows knit. She was angry. Catra looked away but didn't move. Adora didn't need to say anything for Catra to know why. "I…," Catra started but lost her voice. A subtle clearing made her try again, "There's a letter…, I wrote a letter." Catra began to slouch into the water but Adora didn't let her. She tilted Catra's chin up and offered a small glare to force Catra to finish what she was saying. With a sigh, she continued, "In the backpack."

Without a word, Adora rose with a steady slowness to get out. She dried her legs and left to retrieve the crumpled paper. It was soggy from the rain and Adora made her attempt to smooth it out. When she came back, she showed that the letter was soaked and muddied from the ration bars that dissolved into a mush. "I can't read anything except, 'I fucked up.' You'll have to tell me tomorrow." Catra opened her mouth to speak but was promptly stopped, "Tomorrow, Catra. I want you to rest." Catra hesitated but gave a single nod.

Adora stepped back into the tub as she had before, behind Catra. She began to shampoo Catra's hair. Catra could feel Adora fighting herself. Fighting her patience. Waves of tense fingers, followed by hesitation as if to be deep in thought, stroked her scalp. A small spraying hose rinsed her hair. Adora was careful to block Cara's ears and smoothed them over to a close. After Adora shook her hair with a jostling of her fingers, she leaned in and held a kiss at the top of her head. Catra turned to look up again. Adora's pursed lips told her that Catra was far from forgiven.

"Just rest," Adora reminded her. Catra closed her eyes as Adora cradled her head in her lap. Catra felt Adora's fingers gently playing with her hair and she began to doze off again. This time, Adora let her. Catra seemed finally at peace and Adora couldn't resist the urge to brush the backs of her fingers across Catra's cheeks.

When it seemed Catra had completely fallen asleep, Adora had leaned over to grab another towel. She rolled it and, with a gentle nudging, replaced her thighs with the towel for Catra's head to rest on. Adora came around the tub to finish bathing Catra. Fingertips grazed warm hands. Hands that had saved Adora's life on numerous occasions. Hands that were pointed with claws that also threatened it. Claws that were made to harm rather than protect.

Adora took the palm of one hand and kissed it. By reflex, Catra had cupped Adora's face. Adora let the hand sink back into the water and reached for Catra's tail. Adora brushed against the fur beneath the water. Specs of dirt plumed for a moment before being sucked away. Adora used her fingers to pick away at the more difficult gunk that matted her fur. It was enough to waken Catra as her eyes slowly blinked open. Because Adora had to reach down, their faces were only a breath apart. A blush had warmed both their faces more so than the water.

Catra spoke softly, "Hey."

Adora's fingers still wrapped around the base of Catra's tail, "Hey." She leaned back and her hand dragged along the length of it until it fell out of her hand. "I just, um…," a moment of hesitation, "I'm done."

A quiet whisper with eyes looking away, "Thanks."

Adora took a moment before she stopped staring, "I'm going to…, dry the floor by the window. Do you need help getting ou-"

"I can do it."

"Right. Towels are behind you, robe over there," she pointed to a small ornate cabinet, "and there's some mouthwash and stuff by the sink." Catra's eyes looked around with a bit more focus and nodded to let Adora go.

Adora stopped toweling the floor with her feet when she saw Catra at the bathroom doorway. She was wrapped in a purple robe. Golden, eclipsed moons embroidered on the pockets and on the back. Catra wasn't sure what she was to do next. Adora nudged her head toward the bed. As Catra did, Adora carried the sopping wet towels to the bathroom and thought to deal with it in the morning.

Adora came to the bed and Catra watched every move she made. Adora went under the covers and turned to her side to face her. She stared in Catra's eyes and wasn't quite sure what to say, but she needed to say something before they went to sleep. Her fingers felt the collar on Catra's robe. "Catra," she started, "I know I said we'll wait until morning to talk…," she took a moment to clear her throat. "It's just…, now is the time to stop me. Now is the time to say 'no' to what I'm about to do." Catra's brows gave a subtle knit trying to figure out what she was going on about. Adora took a breath, "We have a lot to work out between us but…," again, some nervous hesitation, "I'm going to wrap my arms around you and once I do, I'm never letting go. Do you understand?" Adora waited for that nod. "Because this is it," her hands began to travel up Catra's back, "so you better stop me if-" Adora felt Catra's hands on her back as well. Adora released a pained sigh of relief. How her heart ached to finally be embraced as she held her tightly back. Tears seeped from Adora's eyes and she pecked Catra's neck with kisses. She then cupped Catra's face and kissed her lips. She felt Catra's tears down her fingers. Adora wiped Catra's tears with her palm as Catra did to her. They embraced each other once more and refusing to let go.

Adora sniffled, "Sleep," she whispered, "We'll figure it out."

I hope you enjoyed this fic, there's more to come.

I was commissioned by CienMysliwiec on Twitter who was really awesome to work with! This first chapter is a songfic of the song "We Are" by Hollywood Undead.

All commissions go straight to a gofundme campaign I'm running. If you'd like to donate or commission me please head over here for more info

gofundme dot com/f/twitter-fic-for-transgender-law-center

side note: Formatting is a nightmare on FFN
Proper formatting can be found on AO3 /works/21435661/chapters/51076768