At times like this, Mao Mao wished he had kept Tony. There was barely enough room for the three of them on Sophia; with Badgerclops laying on his side like he was being drawn like a french girl, Adorabat hanging her leg off the back of the couch, with the rest of her limbs spread out wide and far, and Mao Mao lazily sitting with his chin in his hand. The cat was amazed the couch hadn't snapped in half from their weight alone.

It was a chilly autumn afternoon, and so far it had been surprisingly quiet. No monster alarms, certainly no cries from the King; it was ramping up to be a totally normal day.

Which to Mao Mao made it a boring day.

Mao Mao stretched his back, which was beginning to get sore from being squished against the armrest, "So, tell me again what we're doing?"

Badgerclops rolled his eye. "You seriously weren't listening dude? I explained this to you like, five minutes ago." At Mao Mao sheepish shrug, he sighed. "It's the finale for this super cool show and stuff. It's been on for years, but it got canceled a couple weeks back so they're doing a huge marathon in honor of it."

"And how long exactly is this 'marathon' supposed to be?"

"Three days of endless fun!"

Adorabat's excitable squeal drowned out Mao's groan. "I heard they're making a reboot soon too!"

"What?! But Badgerclops said they just canceled it!"

The badger shrugged with a lazy snicker. "Haha, yeah… Isn't corporate greed a bitc-"

A sudden wail from the table interrupted him, and on instinct, both Adorabat and Mao Mao shot to their feet.

"That's the King's alarm!" She exclaimed, which caused Badgerclops to groan.

"Oh c'mon, you can't be serious! He probably just stubbed his toe, or accidentally pressed it again."

The sudden harsh squeal of radio static made the heroes flinch, and Adorabat covered her large ears.

Bzzt~"Sheriffs, oh heavens, please come quickly! This vile vixen broke into the castle, incapacitated my guards, interrupted my second lunch, and is trying to steal my precious crown!"~Bzzt

"Wait, for real?" Badgerclops blinked in surprise. The line was one-way, meaning they could only receive live messages, not return them, so the badger's question luckily wasn't heard by your Highness.

"That doesn't sound like he accidentally pressed it." Adorabat frowned.

"We have to get there as soon as possible!" Mao growled, and turned towards the pole down to the garage; only to pause when he heard the radio turn on once more.

Bzzt~"I've hidden myself away in my amazing closet, that doubles as a panic room, but I fear she may be attempting to break- oh, what's this? She slid something underneath the door… it looks like a… leaf? I don't-"~BZZZZT

The sheriffs' eyes widened in recognition, just in time as a familiar jingle of transformation buzzed through the radio, alongside the king's yelp.

"Was that who I think it was?" Badgerclops mumbled, beginning to realize he definitely wouldn't be able to watch his show today.

"Tanya Keys..." Mao Mao growled, confirming his friend's fears.

The radio crackled with static, and there was the faint sound of voices, but nothing Mao Mao could clearly make out. The trio was silent for a few seconds, clearly trying to wrap their mind around the fact that Tanya Keys was back in town.

"...I guess I could record the stuff we miss." Badgerclops gestured to the tv, clearly disappointed.

Mao Mao snorted, and once again began to jog to the poles. "If your precious show is three days long, an hour really shouldn't matter."

Not to mention the fact the King is in mortal danger! That's also important to remember. Mao Mao added silently.

"Last time you said one of these things was going to take an hour, we were lost in the forest for a week."

"I never would have guessed bark would taste so bad!" Adorabat added with a giggle, before sliding down her pole to the garage. The bat's words clearly ended the conversation, and with one final look at the TV, Badgerclops followed suite; Mao Mao behind him.

It was disgustingly easy for Tanya to slip into the King's panic room. All she had to do was transform into her signature leaf, slide underneath the door, which weren't even airtight, and turn back into her lovely self. It was horrendously boring. Not even the sight of the King's crown on top of his screaming head could cheer her up. If anything, his pleas we're making her feel sick. Ugh, would he be quiet already? It's worsening my already pounding headache...

"Get back, get back, you heathen!" The King wailed, half-heartedly swinging a fire poker at the Tanuki. Pushing the pain aside, she smirked, turning one of her leaves into a magnet; successfully pulling the weapon out of his paws, and into hers. The leaf once again turned back to normal and fluttered to the ground. Ha! Now that made him shut up.

"It's an honor to meet you, Your Highness." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked down where he lay. "I'd love for some smalltalk, but unfortunately I'm a bit tight on time, so let's skip to the point. We both know what I'm here for."

The lion scoffed, "Y-you'll never find it! I won't allow it!"

Tanya raised an eyebrow, and glanced where the crown laid on his head, "Did you hit your head when you fell, sweetie? I have already found it. Now give it here before I-"

"Do y-you really believe I would wear my family's most famous, and fabulous, heirloom to second-lunch?! Ha! That would be ridiculous, even for me!" The King interrupted, grinning smugly, "You shall never find the real one! Ohh, aren't I devilishly clever!"

Tanya's smirk faded, but only slightly. How couldn't I tell that was a fake? I suppose the headache certainly isn't helping… but no matter. I'll deal with that later. Now, to find out where the real crown is… "Well, I suppose you 'leaf' me no choice…" The Tanuki pulled a leaf out from behind her, and within a blink of an eye, it had transformed into a fearsome ax. "Well your Majesty, I feel it would be rude for me not to ask… What limb would you miss the least? Or should I say… leaf?"

The lion's eyes widened to saucers, and he looked like he was about to cry. There was barely any hesitation before he threw his head dramatically back, and gave in. "Oh, f-fine! Down the hall is a painting of my dearest parents. If you press the diamond on the left corner of the frame, it will reveal a secret room where my crown is hidden."

Bingo. "Do I need any codes?"

The King grimaced, and retreated even farther into his mane, "...1-2-3-4."

Tanya rolled her eyes, and her smirk returned full force; the ax in her hands poofing back into a leaf. Thank God that bluff worked. "Thank you for making this unfairly easy for me, Your Highness. But unfortunately, I must take my leave and-"

"The only place you're going is jail!" He suddenly cried out, clearly still quivering in fear from the thought of her ax.

Tanya paused, clearly surprised by the sudden outburst, before sliding her smug facade on once more. "Only in your dreams, sweetums."

A shaky smile returned to his muzzle. I don't like the look in his eyes. Tanya thought to herself.

"Before you had broken into my panic room, I managed to call-"

Oh no.

"-The Sheriff's department! They shall be arriving momentarily, and you will be carried off to prison where you belong!"

Tanya's smirk finally vanished altogether, and she let out a frustrated sigh. Shit. Not now! Not when everything was going so well. "You have made an unbelievably easy heist into something a lot more… annoying."

A leaf that laid on the floor by her feet suddenly turned into a roll of rope. "Now please, your Highness, stay still."

A few minutes of struggling later, Tanya had managed to safely transfer the King to the main entrance hall, where she tied him to his throne; before quickly making her way back to the previous floor. When Mao Mao comes barging in, his first thought is going to be the safety of the King. If he sees him when he first arrives, it might make him a bit less grumpy when he catches me. Tanya hesitated halfway down the long hallway. Or more like, if he catches me.

It only took a few moments for the Tanuki to find the painting the King had spoken of. It was a beautifully painted portrait of two lions, housed inside an even prettier bejeweled frame. Tanya barely even scanned the gems before her eyes fell upon the large, almost tacky, diamond on the left side of the frame. It was almost double the size of the other jewels, and twice as shiny. No doubt so Mr. Fluffybuns never forgets which one to press. She snorted in amusement. The only problem is, well… it's quite tall.

The painting itself was about triple the height of the Tanuki, and with the diamond being in the top corner, making it quite impossible to reach by herself. Luckily, I'm not by myself.

With a smirk and a flick of a leaf, a ladder popped into place right where she needed it. Tanya quickly scaled the wooden rungs, and without hesitation, gently pressed the diamond. If I wasn't in such a hurry, I would pry the damn thing out and pocket it along with the crown. Probably worth more than half the buildings in the village. Ah, perhaps for another time.

There was a heavy thunk inside the wall, and the painting began to swing forward out of its frame.

Wait, forward?

With a startled gasp, Tanya realized too late that the door would swing into the ladder and-

THUNK!

Before she could save herself with a leaf, Tanya was thrown from the falling ladder, landing nine feet onto the ground below. Winded and frustrated, the Tanuki groaned in both pain and anger; clutching her stomach. Ow! Ugh, how the hell didn't I catch that! Foggy brain or not, only an idiot would have let that happen. And why wasn't I able to catch myself with a leaf!? That's one of the easiest techniques to do! What the hell is wrong with me?! I don't have time for this!

Giving herself only a few seconds to recover, Tanya sat up. Shit, that was a mistake! The world spun around her, making it almost impossible to stand up. I don't have a concussion, do I? I do feel a bit lightheaded, but I had that before the heist, alongside this stupid headache. Shutting her eyes tight, the Tanuki count to ten, before blinking them open slowly. The hall had stopped moving around her, and other than an aching back and pounding head, she seemed fine. Or at least tolerable.

The thief's gaze fell to the now opened room in front of her, and at the sight of the crown, she quickly pulled herself up to shaky feet. It was in the middle of the room, laying upon a pillow on top of a small marble pedestal. There was a small glass box surrounding the jewelry, with a dainty white keypad placed on the top of it. That's where the code must go.

Taking a few steps towards the entrance, and being much more careful, Tanya snorted at the sight of the trapdoor right in the doorway. Pff, they're not even trying to hide it. The Tanuki gracefully hopped over it without even a second thought and made her way to the glass box. She inputted the code, 1-2-3-4, and it slid out of sight; revealing the crown in all its beauty. Now, this is more like it.

Tanya quickly poofed a side satchel bag into existence, carefully slid the crown inside, and threw it on; making sure the strap was secure. Now if I'm not mistaken, it takes roughly six minutes to travel from the Sheriff's department to the Castle on Aero-cycle; seven if the weird little rhino guy gets into trouble while on the way. If my calculations are correct, and they are, they should be arriving any seco-

The loud thunk of the wooden front doors slamming open startled Tanya out of her thoughts.

"YOUR MAJESTY! Are you alright?!" A gruff voice echoed downstairs from the front hall, one that she recognized immediately.

For once I wish I wasn't right. She thought to herself with a sigh, before dashing out of the secret room; heading towards the king's bedroom. He has a balcony overviewing the courtyard that I could escape from. If I go quickly, I might make it in time before the morons arrive!

Slamming the doors to the king's quarters open, Tanya sprinted across the large room, jumping over ottomans and a table, before sliding out through the glass entrance to the balcony. The chill of the autumn afternoon bit into her fur, but she paid it no mind; her attention balanced between finding the best place to jump, and the sounds of footsteps just down the hall where she was.

Her back throbbed, and the heavy crown in her bag only worsened the pain. I wouldn't be able to 'duck' out in this state, not with my foggy brain and messed up back. Maybe if I'm lucky, I can jump into that pond down there? But who knows how deep it is, it's not worth the risk! Oh, I could turn into something small and hide in plain sight! But... Mao Mao knows me too well, he'll find me eventually. Oh, think Tanya, think! You can't let him catch you, not right now! Not when you're-

"Tanya! Stay where you are!"

The sound of his sword being unsheathed was all too familiar at this point, but never before had it sounded so dangerous.

Fuck.

Mao Mao pointed his sword at the Tanuki's back, his eyes slit in concentration; watching her every move. She had frozen at the sound of his voice, one paw laid on the balcony's marble railing, with her other wrapped around her stomach. She was panting, which was… weird. Tanya never gets tired, which is what makes her so frustrating. It must be an act to get pity!

Her tail flicked back in forth in an agitated matter, his grip on his sword tightening. Her arm slowly lowered from her stomach, and suddenly, he was staring into her turquoise eyes.

"Hello Mittens~" Tanya smirked smugly, suddenly looking much more like herself. Mao Mao forced his frown to stay straight, and he raised his sword to eye length once more.

"What a coincidence it is run into you here." She continued sarcastically, leaning back against the balcony railing.

"It really isn't," Badgerclops added from behind Mao, causing the cat to glance back at his friend. I didn't even notice Adorabat and him show up. I guess they've already finished up with the King.

"How long has it been anyway? A couple weeks? A month?"

"It's been forty-eight days, twenty-nine minutes, and six seconds since you last terrorized us." Mao Mao snarked, turning back to face her.

"Oh, I'm honored you counted our time apart, Mittens~"

Mao Mao, flustered, cleared his throat. "O-of course, that was just a rough estimate. That'd be really creepy if I kept note of it on a calendar or something, right? And to be clear, I don't do that! Because our relationship is purely professional and I should probably start over... "

"That would probably be for the best." Tanya smirked patiently.

"You've gone too far this time, Tanya." Mao Mao hissed, continuing as if the last thirty seconds hadn't taken place. "Not only did you attempt to steal the King's crown, but tying him to his own throne? The guy is probably gonna need therapy now!"

"Oh, don't we all." She quipped. "Besides, I'm sure he needed therapy before all of this anyway. I mean, look at him."

He ignored her. "This is your only warning. Either return the crown now and come with us, or-"

"Or what? Hm?"

"We dance." He gritted his teeth menacingly and bent his knees; falling into his offensive stance.

"But not like the gross romance stuff. Like a fight to the death!" Adorabat added, showing off her fangs in a surprisingly terrifying grin.

"Yeah, I think she understood, Adorabat." Mao Mao frowned at the blue bat. "And we're not trying to kill her, either."

"Oh." The girl paused, before looking disappointingly at the ground. "Aww…"

"Now, return the crown to me at once, Tanya!" Mao Mao reached out with his right hand, his sword lowering slightly.

"You do realize I'm not stealing it, right?" Tanya laid a hand protectively over the satchel.

"You, like, clearly are." Badgerclops huffed.

"If anything, I'm returning it to its rightful owner. In case you didn't know, before the Ruby Pure Heart cast its protective shield around the Pureheart Valley, they were famous for pillaging other Kingdoms." Tanya explained with a smirk. "Your King's precious crown actually belongs to the Lokankey Kingdom, which they stole when they attempted to burn down their castle five hundred years ago."

"...Wait, so you're just trying to give it back to the original Kingdom?" Mao Mao raised an eyebrow, and his hand faltered. I guess technically that isn't morally wrong. I mean, It's definitely not morally right, but-"

"Oh God no. I'm stealing it and then selling it back to them. And for a pretty penny too."

"Yeah, that sounds a lot more… Tanyaish." Badgerclop snorted. "So I'm guessing you're not gonna give it back to us without a-"

"Fight? Brawl?" Tanya stepped forward, and Mao Mao's sword immediately flew up to point at her chest. "Dance?" She winked at the black cat, and a blush immediately erupted upon his face. The Tanuki smirked knowingly at his reaction and stepped back. "Unfortunately not. Actually, I was hoping to do this without seeing you at all, but here we all."

Mao Mao guffawed, "Of course we're here! No crime happens in this Valley without Mao Mao knowing about it!" He grinned proudly for a few more seconds before her words began to sink in. "Wait… what do you mean you didn't want to see me?"

Tanya rolled her eyes at his hurt tone, and silently gestured to the satchel.

"Oh, right." Mao Mao shook his head to clear it, before falling back into offensive stance; Badgerclops and Adorabat following suite. "Give us the crown or-"

"Fight. Yes, I know. Unfortunately, I'm on a tight schedule so that won't work for me." Tanya stepped back until her tail pressed against the railing.

"Oh, well I'm sure we can reschedule if you'd like!" Adorabat smiled innocently.

"Adorabat, shh. Not now." Mao Mao glared at his apprentice, before turning back to the Tanuki. "Fight it is then!"

Mao Mao rushed towards Tanya, sword ready, only to find his path suddenly blocked by three Tanuki clones.

"Hello, Mittens." They all repeated, causing Mao Mao to grit his teeth in annoyance.

"Seriously, this again?!"

"Hey, if it works, it works." The clones laughed in unison. The cat growled in annoyance and swung his sword.

On the other side of the balcony, Badgerclops had his own group of Tanyas to deal with. Five of them circled him, all sharing the same smirk.

"Okay, so, if the real one is here, I'm warning you right now you're, like, about to die." Badgerclops aimed his mechanic arm and fired.

The scent of burning leaves made the real Tanya whimper from where she stood in the corner, surrounded by three of her duplicates; the scent of burnt vegetation worsening her headache even more. Shit, they're going through them a lot quicker than expected. I have to make my escape now!

Turning back towards her escape path, Tanya began to pull herself onto the railing. Unfortunately for the Tanuki, a certain sweetypie had spotted her daring escape.

"Oh, I don't think so!" Adorabat yelled determinedly, swooping in to pull on the back of Tanya's green cape. The anti-hero yelped in surprise at the sudden feeling of being pulled away from freedom, especially since she wasn't expecting it, and stumbled back onto the balcony. Avoiding Adorabat's aerial attacks, Tanya quickly scanned the area for a plan. In front of the door to the King's quarters is a group of clones. If I can just manage to hide among them…

"You can run but you can't hide!" The bat hissed, once again dive-bombing the Tanuki.

"I beg to differ!" She replied, before skillfully skidding into the group; successfully managing to hide among herself.

"Nice work, Adorabat." Mao Mao nodded in approval, destroying the last of his Tanya clones; his sword now lowered. "We've got her cornered."

"Dude, you can't get out of this so just come out!" Badgerclops huffed, glaring at the six Tanya clones, "C'mon I'm missing my show, let's hurry it up…"

None of them answered. As expected. Mao Mao frowned. Classic Tanya Keys.

"Hmm… Why don't we use one of my smoke bombs to draw her out?" Adorabat asked, pulling one of her bombs seemingly out of nowhere. "The clones don't need to breathe, right? So we should be able to tell the difference." Mao Mao hesitated, before grabbing the bomb with a nod.

"Great idea Adorabat! This should work nicely." The black cat turned back to face the group of five clones. "This is your last chance to-"

"Wait." Badgerclops placed his arm in front of Mao Mao, much to his confusion.

"What is it?"

"... wasn't there six before?"

The trio was silent for a few moments as dread began to sink into their fur.

"...I can't count past ten." Adorabat admitted quietly.

"Six is less than ten, so you shouldn't have a problem, dear." Tanya quipped from behind them.

The trio jumped and quickly turned to face the Tanuki. She once again stood in front of the balcony railing, clearly about to make her escape.

Before the anti-hero could make her finale sarcastic joke, Badgerclops gritted his teeth and snatched the smoke bomb from Mao Mao. "This is for making me miss my show!"

In less than three seconds, the badger had managed to light the bomb and chuck it, much to the surprise of Tanya and Mao Mao, and to the delight of Adorabat.

Tanya didn't even have a chance to save herself before the bomb exploded at her feet; a fat cloud of grey smoke immediately covering more than half of the balcony, including Tanya. Mao Mao, Badgerclops, and Adorabat all coughed at the abundance of smoke.

"You could have given us a warning!" Mao Mao groaned into his arm, his eyes watering from the pain.

"Sorry man, heat of the moment, y'know?"

"Is Miss Tanya gonna be okay?" Adorabat asked, gazing into the cloud; unable to spot the anti-hero.

"She better be." Mao Mao glared at Badgerclops while swatting the smoke away, before blushing as his words sunk in. "I-I mean because she has to answer for her crimes. Not because I'm in love with her or anything. That would be like, super weird…"

"Uh-huh… Yeah, okay man. Whatever." Badgerclops rolled his eye.

The sound of heavy coughs brought them back from their conversation, as the smoke began to clear. Tanya looked as if she was taking a knee on the railing; balancing precariously on the edge. Her voice was hoarse as she coughed, and tears ran down her cheeks. The satchel was dangerously close to falling from her shoulder to the ground thirty feet below.

"Don't move!" Mao Mao ordered and began to make his way over to the railing. Before he could reach her, the Tanuki raised her hand to stop him; causing her to totter on the railing.

"N-no, p-please don't-" Her sentence trailed off into more coughs.

Mao Mao froze at the tone of her voice. I've never heard her sound so… weak before. I understand being hurt from the smoke, but this seems different… "This isn't your decision to make."

Tanya swayed weakly where she kneeled, "Y-you don't understand. If you t-take me in, it will ruin your…" She squeezed her eyes shut as her words trailed off, and she gritting her teeth in pain.

This is my best chance of grabbing her while she's weak. As long as I'm careful-

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!" Adorabat suddenly screamed, causing both Mao Mao and Tanya to jump to alert. The Tanuki shook her head to clear it, before grimacing, as if she had just realized how weak she sounded; turning to glare at the black cat in front of her, her eyes clouded with pain.

"Mao Mao! Watch out!" Adorabat yelped.

Before Mao Mao could reply, something tugged harshly on his cape. Oh, it better not be another clone! Pulling himself away from the clone's grip, the black cat twirled around to face his foe.

"Oh, what the heck is that?!" Badgerclops gasped.

It's like looking into a funhouse mirror! The clone was clearly a copy of himself, but it was… wrong. Clone Mao's face was awfully asymmetrical, and his cloak hung off him like a skeleton; his sword looking more like a glowing pool noodle than his famous Geraldine. Alongside these glitches, the illusion was slightly transparent, and if he squinted hard enough, Mao could see a leaf hovering in midair where the clone stood. Her... powers aren't working?

"hellllooo mitteeeens…." The clone hissed, and never in his life had Mao Mao heard his own voice sound so broken.

Mao Mao grimaced, and weakly poked the monster with the tip of his sword, causing it to poofed away; leaving a wilted looking leaf in its steps. That was way too easy… Confused, the cat turned back to face Tanya.

"What was the meaning of-" His voice trailed off at the sight of the Tanuki now standing on the railing. One step back and she'll fall! Tanya's usually sharp and clever eyes were fuzzy and unfocused, and she looked as if she was physically unable to meet his gaze.

"Uh, dude-" Badgerclops started.

"I won't let you take me…" Tanya mumbled, her eyes beginning to roll to the back of her head, and a small genuine smile fell upon her features as unconsciousness began to pull at her mind. "I at least owe you that much."

And with that, she collapsed; falling to the courtyard thirty feet below.

"TANYA!"

"THE CROWN!" Badgerclops cried.

"MAO MAO!" Adorabat screamed, but it was too late; he had jumped after her.

Chapter 2 should be up soon, so keep your eyes on that! If you enjoyed, please remember to fav, follow, and review!