Albert Einstein
Me: Good Morning!
Fitz: What's good about this morning? You've dragged us here at 3:00 A.M for us to endure more yelling and I still haven't done my hair.
Keefe: It's 3:00 P.M for your information. And you look like a rat's nest.
Fitz: Then why did she say good morning? And I look like a bird nest, not a rat nest. Rat's are disgusting.
Keefe: Bird's eat worms.
Fitz: Well rats eat brains.
Biana: Like that weird guy over there?
Albert Einstein: Oh no, these are boogers. They have part of my brain cells in them since my nose connects to my brain so if I eat these they make me smarter.
Dex: What?
Me: It's called logic.
Sophie: Do you actually know what you're doing?
Albert Einstein: Half the time, I don't know what I'm doing. But 3/4ths of the time, what I'm doing is right. So 25% or one fifth-
Sophie: I'm pretty sure it's one fourth.
Albert Einstein: That's what I said. Anyway, one fifth of the time, what I don't know I'm doing is right. And one fifth is greater than half, so therefore, not knowing what you're doing is a good thing.
Biana: And he is…
Me: Albert Einstein
Sophie: Supposedly one of the smartest people in the world. Are you sure you didn't make a mistake and accidently grabbed a psycho off the streets?
Me: I MAKE NO MISTAKES! YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW.(Unless it's a typo)
Albert Einstein: Smart is not simply knowing things. I am smarter than everyone else because my brain is able to understand ununderstandable things. I am liberal to topics unexplainable and impossible.
Fitz: So if I want to be smart, all I have to do is be stupid? Sounds easy. One plus one is nine! Behold, the smartest man alive! And that also rhymes! Sort of!
Keefe: I'm not even going to try to comment on that.
Linh: So, I'm assuming you brought this Eyestink guy here to boost your self-confidence.
Me: Are you trying to imply that I think I'm stupid?
Linh: Yeah, it's kind of obvious.
Me: Hey, Thomas Edison's teacher thought he was too stupid to learn anything. I may have potential.
Linh: And Thomas Edison was smart?
Me: I mean, he invented the light bulb.
Linh: Which lead to a rampage use of electricity which led to the overuse of fossil fuels that is leading to climate change. I think he's not smart.
Sophie: How do you know this stuff?
Linh: I am not stupid, honey.
Sophie: But this is human stuff.
Linh: I rest my case. This fangirl is stupid.
Me: EXCUSE ME? HAVE YOU NOT LEARNED A THING? YOU DON'T GO CALLING ME STUPID WITHOUT BEING PUNISHED!
Linh: YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M TIRED OF YOU TELLING ME I CAN'T INSULT YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. YOU ARE ONE VAIN AND CONCEITED MALLOWMELT-ADDICT!
Dex: Oof.
Albert Einstein: You really don't need to yell. If someone kills you, do you kill them?
Linh: But I'm dead, how am I supposed to-
Albert Einstein: Do you kill them? Yes or no?
Linh: No.
Albert Einstein: See? So if someone yells at you, you don't yell back.
Me: Yep, and I have the smartest man in his time period to prove your guilt.
Linh: *Face turns red*
Tam: Don't underestimate her power. She poured pee on me, remember?
Me: You seem to have forgotten the author powers. I can make her dump pee on her own head if I want.
Fitz: Then why don't you?
Linh: DON'T YOU DARE TO GIVE HER IDEAS.
Albert Einstein: Now, now, little girl, I'm pretty sure she has plenty of ideas without the assistance of that boy with weird hair over there.
Linh: DON'T CALL ME LITTLE GIRL. I HAVE FACIAL HAIR!
Everyone: Huh?
Linh: What? Can you see this stuff above my eyes? It's called hair. Idiots.
Keefe: Look who's talking.
Linh: *glares*
Dex: EMBRACE YOURSELVES! Hey! Yours, elves. Never mind, that doesn't make sense. Elves are not yours.
Linh:*Slo-mo rises out of her seat*
Fitz: You know you don't have to take an hour to get out of your-
Linh: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
Keefe: I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN A THING I SAID I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE DON'T KILL ME I'LL GIVE YOU MALLOWMELT IF YOU STOP I AM OBSESSED WITH EATING MY HAIR I LOVE YOU SOPHIE.
Linh: Well, you apologized. Unlike some other people in this room. *coughs*
Fitz: Wait a minute, you eat your hair?
Dex: Did anyone hear what he said about Sophie…
Keefe: Hey, that's not fair. I thought I was going to die.
Dex: You said you loved-
Keefe: You know, if anyone should be pestering me about this it should be Fitzyboy or Lady Foss-Boss.
Dex: Stop changing the subject.
Sophie: *at the same time* *clears throat* Can we move on?
Keefe: Yeah, I said I loved her as a sister. You know, you have to love your friends otherwise you have no friends.
Tam: In that case…
Dex: Fitz, why does Keefe eating his hair bother you more than the fact that-
Fitz: Because that's why Keefe's hair is always so perfect. Saliva is the best hair product, see, I just tried it out and it works perfectly.
Tam: Is he still purposely being stupid or what?
Me: Guys, why does no one care that everyone keeps on offering each other mallowmelt and no one is giving me any? I'm starving over here.
Keefe: You ate, like five minutes ago.
Me: That was you eating your hair.
Biana: Well if you want food so badly, why don't you let us go so you can eat like a pig in private?
Me: I will take that as a compliment. BUT IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS EASILY, YOU THOUGHT WRONG! Actually you thought right and I really need to eat so get your buts out of here.
Dex: But we still haven't figured out what Keefe-
Me: I SAID GET OUT.
Sorry I haven't posted in a long time. I was busy spending my time stuffing my face with mallowmelt.
Albert Einstein: I'm just going to say something right now so that the fangirl won't end every one of her stories with her yelling. Get burned. Did I use that correctly? I don't know. 21st-century slang is so hard to follow.