Albert Einstein

Me: Good Morning!

Fitz: What's good about this morning? You've dragged us here at 3:00 A.M for us to endure more yelling and I still haven't done my hair.

Keefe: It's 3:00 P.M for your information. And you look like a rat's nest.

Fitz: Then why did she say good morning? And I look like a bird nest, not a rat nest. Rat's are disgusting.

Keefe: Bird's eat worms.

Fitz: Well rats eat brains.

Biana: Like that weird guy over there?

Albert Einstein: Oh no, these are boogers. They have part of my brain cells in them since my nose connects to my brain so if I eat these they make me smarter.

Dex: What?

Me: It's called logic.

Sophie: Do you actually know what you're doing?

Albert Einstein: Half the time, I don't know what I'm doing. But 3/4ths of the time, what I'm doing is right. So 25% or one fifth-

Sophie: I'm pretty sure it's one fourth.

Albert Einstein: That's what I said. Anyway, one fifth of the time, what I don't know I'm doing is right. And one fifth is greater than half, so therefore, not knowing what you're doing is a good thing.

Biana: And he is…

Me: Albert Einstein

Sophie: Supposedly one of the smartest people in the world. Are you sure you didn't make a mistake and accidently grabbed a psycho off the streets?

Me: I MAKE NO MISTAKES! YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW.(Unless it's a typo)

Albert Einstein: Smart is not simply knowing things. I am smarter than everyone else because my brain is able to understand ununderstandable things. I am liberal to topics unexplainable and impossible.

Fitz: So if I want to be smart, all I have to do is be stupid? Sounds easy. One plus one is nine! Behold, the smartest man alive! And that also rhymes! Sort of!

Keefe: I'm not even going to try to comment on that.

Linh: So, I'm assuming you brought this Eyestink guy here to boost your self-confidence.

Me: Are you trying to imply that I think I'm stupid?

Linh: Yeah, it's kind of obvious.

Me: Hey, Thomas Edison's teacher thought he was too stupid to learn anything. I may have potential.

Linh: And Thomas Edison was smart?

Me: I mean, he invented the light bulb.

Linh: Which lead to a rampage use of electricity which led to the overuse of fossil fuels that is leading to climate change. I think he's not smart.

Sophie: How do you know this stuff?

Linh: I am not stupid, honey.

Sophie: But this is human stuff.

Linh: I rest my case. This fangirl is stupid.

Me: EXCUSE ME? HAVE YOU NOT LEARNED A THING? YOU DON'T GO CALLING ME STUPID WITHOUT BEING PUNISHED!

Linh: YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M TIRED OF YOU TELLING ME I CAN'T INSULT YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. YOU ARE ONE VAIN AND CONCEITED MALLOWMELT-ADDICT!

Dex: Oof.

Albert Einstein: You really don't need to yell. If someone kills you, do you kill them?

Linh: But I'm dead, how am I supposed to-

Albert Einstein: Do you kill them? Yes or no?

Linh: No.

Albert Einstein: See? So if someone yells at you, you don't yell back.

Me: Yep, and I have the smartest man in his time period to prove your guilt.

Linh: *Face turns red*

Tam: Don't underestimate her power. She poured pee on me, remember?

Me: You seem to have forgotten the author powers. I can make her dump pee on her own head if I want.

Fitz: Then why don't you?

Linh: DON'T YOU DARE TO GIVE HER IDEAS.

Albert Einstein: Now, now, little girl, I'm pretty sure she has plenty of ideas without the assistance of that boy with weird hair over there.

Linh: DON'T CALL ME LITTLE GIRL. I HAVE FACIAL HAIR!

Everyone: Huh?

Linh: What? Can you see this stuff above my eyes? It's called hair. Idiots.

Keefe: Look who's talking.

Linh: *glares*

Dex: EMBRACE YOURSELVES! Hey! Yours, elves. Never mind, that doesn't make sense. Elves are not yours.

Linh:*Slo-mo rises out of her seat*

Fitz: You know you don't have to take an hour to get out of your-

Linh: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Keefe: I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN A THING I SAID I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE DON'T KILL ME I'LL GIVE YOU MALLOWMELT IF YOU STOP I AM OBSESSED WITH EATING MY HAIR I LOVE YOU SOPHIE.

Linh: Well, you apologized. Unlike some other people in this room. *coughs*

Fitz: Wait a minute, you eat your hair?

Dex: Did anyone hear what he said about Sophie…

Keefe: Hey, that's not fair. I thought I was going to die.

Dex: You said you loved-

Keefe: You know, if anyone should be pestering me about this it should be Fitzyboy or Lady Foss-Boss.

Dex: Stop changing the subject.

Sophie: *at the same time* *clears throat* Can we move on?

Keefe: Yeah, I said I loved her as a sister. You know, you have to love your friends otherwise you have no friends.

Tam: In that case…

Dex: Fitz, why does Keefe eating his hair bother you more than the fact that-

Fitz: Because that's why Keefe's hair is always so perfect. Saliva is the best hair product, see, I just tried it out and it works perfectly.

Tam: Is he still purposely being stupid or what?

Me: Guys, why does no one care that everyone keeps on offering each other mallowmelt and no one is giving me any? I'm starving over here.

Keefe: You ate, like five minutes ago.

Me: That was you eating your hair.

Biana: Well if you want food so badly, why don't you let us go so you can eat like a pig in private?

Me: I will take that as a compliment. BUT IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS EASILY, YOU THOUGHT WRONG! Actually you thought right and I really need to eat so get your buts out of here.

Dex: But we still haven't figured out what Keefe-

Me: I SAID GET OUT.

Sorry I haven't posted in a long time. I was busy spending my time stuffing my face with mallowmelt.

Albert Einstein: I'm just going to say something right now so that the fangirl won't end every one of her stories with her yelling. Get burned. Did I use that correctly? I don't know. 21st-century slang is so hard to follow.