One Such Curse

Arthur never married Gwen. Shortly before their planned marriage, she realised that she truly loved Lancelot, and with Merlin's help she cured the Shadow that Morgana sent. Gwen left Camelot with the real Lancelot, wishing Arthur all the happiness. She didn't cheat on him. Instead she broke the engagement and explained as gently as she could that she had to follow her heart. We don't choose who we love, she said to him as her farewell. Arthur would remember these words until his dying day.

He didn't marry anyone else, although he had more than one occasion. He focused on his kingdom and on the fight with Morgana.

He made his share of mistakes along the way, including the one that almost cost him his life. However, both Mordred and Morgana were dead and he was still alive.

Yes, Arthur survived Camlann. It was all thanks to Merlin and his loyalty and stubbornness. During their way to the Lake of Avalon, Arthur didn't truly believe that they would succeed. He forgave Merlin his lies and was glad that he had his friend by his side in his lasts moments. It was a bit selfish because he knew how difficult it was to Merlin, but he couldn't help how he felt.

Fortunately, it all ended well. They both returned to Camelot, happy and alive. Arthur lifted the ban on magic and made Merlin the Court Sorcerer. That was the least he could do for his brave and loyal friend.

Arthur led a relatively happy life until the day he stumbled upon a witch who turned his life upside down. Someone could think that lifting the ban on magic could change everything. It seemed, however, that not all magic users were as forgiving and trusting as the Druids. Some of them still saw Uther in Arthur and they would never follow a Pendragon.

Merlin was there by Arthur side to protect him from those magical individuals who were still creating schemes to hurt his king. The incidents were much rarer and less elaborate than before, but they still occurred from time to time. Unfortunately, it all let Merlin's guard down.

He and Arthur had a horse-ride one lazy afternoon. Finally, the king had some free time to relax and escape from his daily duties. He felt that both he and Merlin deserved it. They worked very hard to make the kingdom a better place for all citizens and finally some significant improvements became visible. Arthur hadn't been this happy for a long time. After all, spending time with Merlin outside the court and council meetings was one of his favourite indulgences.

They were both laughing at a joke that Merlin said, when a mysterious woman came out of nowhere. Merlin should have reacted as soon as it happened, but she looked harmless at first. He didn't realise that the woman had magic until the very moment she attacked.

The curse was directed at Arthur but its power threw them both off their horses, because they were riding very close to each other.

"Arthur!" Merlin screamed to his groaning friend, mindlessly creating a magical shield around them, so the witch couldn't hurt them any further.

"Who are you?" he demanded, looking directly at the woman. His eyes were glowing with gold. "What did you do to him?"

"Exactly what he deserves, Emrys," she said simply.

The rage in Merlin was growing. He wanted to hurt the witch, but he needed to know the nature of this curse in order to break it.

"Arthur is not his father," he growled.

"Of course he's not," she agreed, "but he's done his share of mistakes. He's going to pay for them."

"He lifted the ban on magic. What else do you want?"

"It doesn't concern magic at all," she replied.

"What then?" Arthur finally spoke, looking up from the ground. His voice was clearly pained.

The witch looked down at him with pity and disappointment. "You have violated the sacred laws by rejecting your true love. We gave you time to amend your ways but you've wasted your chances."

"Why do you care about my love life so much?" snapped Arthur. "It concerns no one but me."

"That's where you're wrong."

"People don't follow their love all the time," said Merlin, thinking about what happened between Arthur and Gwen. "Sometimes it's not their fault."

The witch looked at Merlin intently. "Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it is," she said. "The Once and Future King is not an ordinary man and his wrong decisions may destroy the balance of the universe. You, Emrys, should know something about it."

"It's not a life for a life situation," replied Merlin.

"Love and life are closer than you think and they both have impact on the balance." Then she turned her attention back to Arthur. "You put this curse on yourself, Pendragon. I'm just a mere tool in the hands of the universe. Your heart is withered and broken. In time, the poison of your broken heart will consume you completely."

"What does that mean?" Merlin demanded in an authoritative tone.

The witch didn't glance at Merlin, directing her answer at Arthur. "You'll be getting weaker and weaker. In time, you won't be able to get up from your bed. You will feel pain and misery. Eventually, you're going to lose your senses. You will beg for death and finally your wish will be granted, though it will be a slow and painful death."

"That's enough!" cried Merlin. "What's the point of this? Break the curse immediately or you will die here and now. I assume you know the extent of my powers."

"That's something you don't even know, Emrys," said the witch, looking back at him. "You should know that putting the curse on the Once and Future King brings me no joy. It wasn't my decision. I am a humble messenger."

"It won't stop me from killing you," Merlin assured her. He was no longer young and innocent. He knew he could kill this woman with a blink of an eye. The only reason he was still talking to her was that she could know how to break the curse.

"I know it won't," she said calmly, "but I'm telling the truth. I can't break the curse. The only thing that can break it is true love. However, it must be mutual and honest as well as accepted and welcomed by both soulmates. No lies. No silent pining." Then she gave a meaningful look first to Merlin and then to Arthur. "True love is your only chance," she said to the king. "Your last chance."

Then she vanished into thin air and Merlin couldn't do anything about it.

oOoOo

The curse that Arthur was hit with changed everything. At first it didn't seem serious. He needed to sleep a little bit longer than before or take breaks during the longer council meetings or trainings with the knights. He was also getting tired quicker, but most of the time he was able to hide it from his subjects. The only people who knew the whole truth were Merlin, Gaius and Sir Leon who was leading the training sessions in Arthur's stead.

Gaius was trying to help as much as he could but even his knowledge had its limits. He had never heard about such curse before and neither he nor Merlin found anything about it in all the books that he possessed. The only thing that Gaius could truly do was preparing the remedies for the interim symptoms.

Merlin sought advice among the magical community but no one seemed to know any other solution than true love. Some of them insisted that the true love's kiss could break any curse. Merlin doubted that but he was considerate enough to thank them for their advice and keep his frustration to himself.

Finally, Merlin admitted that there was no other way but to find Arthur's true love. It wasn't an easy task. After Gwen broke his heart, the king became very wary of the matters concerning his heart. It seemed that he didn't let himself fall in love again and that posed a huge problem to Merlin.

"I'm going to find your one true love," said Merlin one evening. "And you're going to fall in love with her." It wasn't an easy thing to say because Merlin enjoyed Arthur's company and he knew that the potential wife would greatly limit the time that they could spend together. Nonetheless, there was no other way. The king was getting weaker and weaker every day, and it was Merlin's duty to stop it.

Arthur groaned at this declaration. "I can't make myself fall in love with someone. It doesn't work like this," he pointed out.

"If it's your true love, you will," Merlin assured him, although he was fully aware that it was easier said than done.

"And how are you going to find my true love?" the king asked.

"We will declare that you're looking for a wife and that all the maidens in the kingdom as well as in the neighbouring kingdoms are welcome to come here to present themselves," explained Merlin. "Both nobles and peasants if it doesn't bother you. I just think that the greater number of candidates, the greater chances we have to find your true love." Then he glanced at his friend expectantly.

Arthur had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "Of course it doesn't bother me," he said angrily. "But what do you expect? It's not a fairy tale. I won't fall in love with a right woman the moment I look at her. It doesn't work like this," he emphasised it once again.

"Do you have any better idea?" Merlin asked him in an equally angry tone. "I've tried to find another solution but I failed. Perhaps I never stood a chance at finding it because it doesn't exist." He sighed. "It doesn't matter now. The only thing I care about is helping you because I know you, Arthur, and I can see how tired you are each day. You think you mask it well, but you can't hide it from me. It's going to get worse and the mere thought make me shudder because I don't want to see you like this. You don't deserve it."

Arthur looked genuinely touched by Merlin's words. There were many things he wanted to say but none of them seemed right.

"Are you in this with me?" Merlin finally asked.

The king nodded silently.

"Good," said the warlock. "I can't find your love without your help. You have a very essential role to play in the process," he attempted to joke.

"Just fall in love," murmured Arthur without enthusiasm.

There was something bitter in the tone of his voice, but Merlin tactfully pretended that he didn't hear that.

oOoOo

The great search for the future queen of Camelot began and the news reached the farthest corners of the kingdom and beyond sooner than Merlin expected. The decision that the social status of the candidates didn't matter was considered controversial by some of the nobles in the castle. They believed that the king should marry some princess, preferably from the neighbouring kingdom, in order to achieve some political gains. In their minds the royal marriage should be nothing more than a tactical movement. These nobles were glad when Gwen, the smith's daughter, ended the engagement. They hoped that such blow would teach the king the lesson and that he would eventually do something that they considered right.

At the current circumstances, their hopes were threatened once again. They tried to raise their concerns during the Council meeting but Arthur dismissed their ideas as soon as he realised what they concerned. He had a full support from Sir Leon, who knew the whole truth, and his closest knights. The fact that Leon was born a noble helped a lot in the situation and the nobles who didn't like the king's approach to the matter of social status had to let go, hoping that he would make a good choice for the kingdom.

At first there weren't as many candidates as one could expect. The women of Camelot seemed cautious and suspicious. However, as soon as Merlin created an official schedule, they started knocking at the throne room's door more and more often.

All of them had to have a chance to talk to the king one-to-one. During the first few days it wasn't difficult because there were only several women who were brave enough to face the king. However, soon Merlin had to limit the time and number of such meetings a day. It was mainly caused by Arthur's worsening condition.

The women did everything to seduce and convince the king that they were the perfect candidate for the queen. They couldn't know that it wasn't the point of this competition. Arthur wasn't looking for the future queen. He needed a true love but none of these women could give him that. They just wanted to be his queen. Most of them probably found him attractive but it didn't matter. The attraction was not enough. The attraction couldn't break the curse.

Arthur understood that perfectly and he expected such outcome from the very beginning. He agreed to this farce only for Merlin's sake. He could see that his friend felt guilty of this whole mess and he knew that there was no such words that could convince Merlin that it wasn't his fault. Merlin was a born protector. He was always going to blame himself for the harm that would come to those he swore to protect.

"How are you feeling?" Merlin asked Arthur after he closed the door of the throne room behind the last candidate of the day.

"I'm glad it's over for today," said the king. "Although the thought that tomorrow it will start all over again is not very reassuring."

"There's no other way," Merlin reminded him. "Besides that's not what I meant. I want to know if you're exhausted, if you're in pain..."

"Yes, I am exhausted. The company of these women is exhausting," murmured Arthur but he regretted his words once he saw Merlin's pained face. "I know it's necessary but I wish it wasn't," he added.

"Me too," mumbled Merlin sadly. "You didn't answer my other question, though. Are you in any pain?"

Arthur sighed inwardly. "It's not a good place to talk about it," he pointed out.

"We're alone."

"Yes, but it's a throne room. Anyone could enter," said Arthur, although it wasn't entirely truly.

"So you are in pain," murmured Merlin. "Let's go to your chambers. I found a new spell that can bring you some relief."

That was something that Merlin did these days. He was wading through the books in search of new incantations that could soothe Arthur's pain. They worked to some extent but only for a brief moment.

Arthur preferred other methods that Merlin was also trying out on him, such as massaging. There was nothing magical about it but it brought him relief like nothing else. Arthur wasn't stupid and he knew that it wasn't just the act of massaging that was working. What truly mattered was Merlin's company, care and touch. Especially his touch, which made Arthur shiver all over his body in a way that wasn't entirely appropriate.

Once they entered the king's chamber, Arthur felt a pent-up exhaustion taking over him. He swayed on his legs, grabbing Merlin's shoulder for balance.

"You need to take a seat," Merlin told him in a clearly worried tone.

Then the warlock led his king to the armchair and helped him nestle there.

Arthur felt that Merlin was waiting for some sort of encouragement. Even after all this time and all these changes, the warlock was a bit hesitant when it came to using magic on Arthur without his clear permission.

"Do your magic," the king encouraged him.

That was all Merlin needed to hear. He put his fingertips on Arthur's temples and started reciting some ancient spells. Arthur had no idea what these words meant but he felt the wave of soothing warmth coming through him. It chased the pain away for a moment but as soon as Merlin finished his incantation, the pain started slowly coming back.

"Better?" asked Merlin hopefully.

"Not much. Although it worked for a moment."

Merlin sighed heavily but started his incantations all over again. Arthur could tell that his friend was frustrated by the tone of his voice that changed slightly. This time the effect of a spell lasted for a few minutes but then the pain came back once again.

"I can't do anything right," said Merlin angrily.

"Don't say that," Arthur told him. "It's not your fault that the curse is stronger than the spells. You do what you can and more."

"Apparently I don't try hard enough or I'm not good enough," the warlock murmured bitterly.

"Stop it! That's an order of your king," Arthur said as firmly as his current condition let him.

Merlin wanted to protest but he knew it was pointless. He looked at Arthur and their eyes met. There was no anger in his king's eyes, only sadness.

"I could try the spell that I used before," he suggested after a while of silence.

"That won't be necessary," Arthur told him. "I'd rather you gave me a massage if you don't mind. It helps me relax for a moment."

Merlin didn't mind. He started slowly with Arthur's shoulders, making the king sigh contently. They both remained silent for a few minutes. It was a blissful moment that Arthur didn't want to end. The pain was dulled and although it wasn't going to last forever, it was worth the effort.

"If you want me to massage your back thoroughly, you need to lie down," Merlin eventually broke the silence.

The king rose from the armchair as swiftly as his condition let him. He swayed slightly on his feet and gladly accepted Merlin's arm. Before, he would have felt embarrassed to accept such help. However, it was Merlin, who wouldn't judge him for something like this. The curse made Arthur a little bit more humble and it wasn't the worst thing in the world.

Once in bed, Arthur took off his shirt. It was easier for Merlin to massage him when there was no clothes on the way. Then he lay down on his stomach and tried to relax, which wasn't easy because he felt quite vulnerable. It wasn't that he didn't trust Merlin because he did. If Arthur were to name one person that he trusted with all certainty, he would have chosen Merlin. That was obvious to him. Nevertheless, this position made him feel out of control and it was both disturbing and exciting. Somehow Arthur enjoyed the idea that Merlin would protect him if someone came to attack them. These were the only moments when Arthur felt that he didn't need to be a leader all the time, that he could give away control and completely depend on someone else. Despite all the pain, he never felt so free.

Merlin started massaging him without hesitation. He was very thorough. His hands were strong, yet delicate. Arthur sighed contently and closed his eyes. He was completely focused on Merlin and his magical hands. His body started relaxing slowly and the pain suddenly seemed unimportant. It became barely noticeable.

Unfortunately, the massage couldn't last forever. Nevertheless, it almost lulled Arthur to sleep. Once Merlin was finished, he draped the duvet over Arthur and wished him a good night. The king only hummed in response, but it was all that Merlin needed to know that everything was all right or as right as it could be in given circumstances.

oOoOo

The next days looked fairly similar. Arthur was talking to the candidates in the throne room, which was tiring him out tremendously, and then he was coming back to his chambers where Merlin was trying to help him with his magic and massages. There were many moments when Arthur wanted to tell his friend to let go but one glance at Merlin kept him from doing so. Merlin was so hopeful and Arthur could not destroy this spark in him. It didn't feel right.

Soon there were fewer and fewer candidates who were trying to steal king's heart. Arthur expected that because the number of maidens in Camelot and neighbouring kingdoms were limited, but this fact seemed to make Merlin more anxious.

There was no denying that Arthur's health was declining. It became very difficult to hide it from the others. Merlin himself heard a few rumours about it in the castle and outside. It was only a matter of time before this information would spread beyond the borders. The future of Camelot was in danger because a weakened king could tempt some neighbouring kingdom to take the lands. Merlin could tell that Arthur was worried about that as well and it broke his heart even more. The well-being of Camelot was something that Arthur cared about since he was a prince. Watching it all fall apart would only bring him more suffering.

"It's Gwen, isn't it?" Merlin dared to ask one evening. He had been wondering if he should ask this question for a few days. Finally, he found the courage to say it out loud.

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked him back, clearly confused.

"You still love her and that's why you can't find another love," Merlin explained shyly. "Perhaps I could find her. Perhaps she feels the same. Perhaps I could convince her..." It was a desperate plan but it was a desperate situation. He would do anything to save Arthur. Anything.

"No," said Arthur. "Her heart belongs to Lancelot."

"Perhaps she made a mistake and she regrets it now," the warlock suggested uncertainly. "I could help her realise that."

"You can't use your magic to make her love me," said Arthur as firmly as his condition let me. "This is absurd. How could you think about something like that?"

"I want to save you, Arthur!"

"You shouldn't do it at all costs."

They looked at each other for a few moments in complete silence. Arthur was angry, but more at himself than at Merlin. He knew that his friend meant well. He knew that it was his own fault that Merlin still believed that he was in love with Guinevere.

"I'm just desperate," Merlin admitted quietly.

"I know." Arthur sighed heavily and decided to open up a little bit. Merlin deserved that. "I appreciate your willingness to help me but I don't love Guinevere. Not in this way. Not for a very long time."

Merlin looked him in the eye and Arthur could tell that he was wondering if he was telling the truth.

"You mean it," said Merlin, clearly surprised.

"Of course I mean it. I don't love Guinevere. I don't love any of the women who came to Camelot and I'm certain that I won't fall in love with any of them." Arthur knew that these words would hurt Merlin who was desperately trying to save him but he decided to be brave enough to say them out loud. "Please cancel all the meetings with these women. I won't attend them."

"You can't just give up!" cried Merlin on the brink of a breakdown. "Do you want to die and leave Camelot without king?"

"Of course I don't want that, but these meetings won't make anything better. They exhaust and irritate me, and that's not the way I want to spend my last days. Please, respect that." Then Arthur lowered his gaze because he couldn't stand the look on Merlin's face.

"Camelot needs you," said Merlin pleadingly. "It all will fall apart without you."

"It won't if you take care of it for me," said Arthur. Then he pulled a ring from his finger and put it in Merlin's hand. "I want you to rule Camelot after I'm gone," he said and found the courage to look his friend in the eye.

"What?"

Merlin looked like a confused and wounded animal, but Arthur knew that it was the right decision. Despite all the jokes that Arthur had been throwing at his friend for years, Merlin was a wise man and he could protect Camelot with his powers. There was no better candidate.

"This is absurd," said Merlin. "I can't just take your place."

"Someone will have to do it," Arthur tried to reason with him. "I will die peacefully knowing it's you."

"You can't ask me for this!" Merlin protested. "I'm not a king material. I'm a clumsy peasant who knows nothing about ruling."

"You know much more than you give yourself credit for," Arthur assured him. "Please... do this for me. I know that you can protect my kingdom."

"I couldn't even protect you," Merlin whispered, while a single tear ran down his cheek. "I failed you. I just can't take your place after this."

Arthur's heart sank at these words. "You did not fail me," he said, pressing a ring into Merlin's hand firmly. "There's no one else in this world I trust more. There are many things that I regret, but having you in my life is not one of them. If my past mistakes led me to having your friendship, I wouldn't change a thing."

"Arthur..."

"I want you to remember that when I'm gone."

Then a sudden pain pierced Arthur's heart and his face turned into a grimace. He put a hand on his chest and cried in pain.

"Arthur!" he heard Merlin's voice but it sounded afar off. His head was pounding while his vision blurred and then went completely blank.

oOoOo

Arthur regained his consciousness but he couldn't open his eyes. His eyelids seemed so heavy and he could still feel the pain, although it was more dull and tolerable.

It took him a while but he realised that he was lying in his own bed and that someone was sitting by his side, holding his hand and whispering something. He knew it must have been Merlin, but he wanted to see it with his own eyes. The fight with exhaustion was hard but finally he managed to open his eyes, although barely.

The first thing he saw were Merlin's glowing eyes. They were beautiful and directed at him. His lips were moving, incanting the words that Arthur didn't understand.

"Lay still," he heard Merlin saying. The glow in his eyes faded and they were blue again.

"What happened?" Arthur asked in a hoarse voice.

"You were unconscious for a few hours," Merlin told him. "It looked really bad. Gaius..." he hesitated. "Gaius said that there was a possibility that you wouldn't make it."

"I'm still here. Thanks to you, I assume," said Arthur.

"I was scared," Merlin admitted. "I can't lose you, Arthur. I won't survive it."

Arthur's heart started beating faster, filling with false hope that Merlin could feel the same.

"You're just exhausted," said the king. "You should take some rest."

"I won't leave your side. Not after what just happened," Merlin told him decisively.

"It's impossible." Arthur wished it was possible. He would happily have Merlin always by his side but his days were numbered.

"I will try," said Merlin stubbornly.

"Then at least lie down by my side," Arthur offered. "You barely sit."

Merlin hesitated. He glanced at Arthur, then at the empty space in his bed.

"I won't bite you," Arthur attempted to joke.

"What if I fall asleep and then something happens to you," he said worryingly.

"Can't you use your magic to wake you up?" asked Arthur.

"It could work," Merlin admitted.

"Go on, then."

Merlin sighed but eventually he did as he was told. Arthur's heart fluttered once Merlin was lying right by his side. He had the man he loved in his bed. If the circumstances were different, Arthur would have been in seventh heaven.

They were both looking at each other in complete silence for a few minutes. Arthur's eyelids became heavy again. He was about to fall asleep when Merlin's soft voice brought him back to consciousness.

"Don't die."

Arthur opened his eyes and looked at him intently. "I can't promise that, but I swear I will fight as long as I can," he said, meaning every word.

Merlin bit his bottom lip. It was clear to Arthur that there was something he wanted to say, but he was hesitant.

"What is it?" Arthur asked. "Tell me."

Merlin took a deep breath. "You said you weren't in love with Gwen..."

"Because I'm not."

"But you're in love with someone, aren't you?" Merlin asked. "When you were unconscious and feverish, you were mumbling something about love, about loving someone."

Arthur's heart skipped a beat. "Did I say a name?" he asked in a trembling voice.

"No, but it seemed that you thought that she was by your side," Merlin admitted.

Because you were by my side, thought Arthur but didn't say it out loud.

"You didn't answer my question," Merlin reminded him. "Is there someone you love?"

Arthur didn't know how to answer it with words, so he simply nodded.

"Who is she?" Merlin's voice suddenly sounded hopeful. "Perhaps she loves you back."

"It's not that simple," said Arthur.

"Your life is at stake!" Merlin was clearly outraged. "You should take any chance you have. I'm begging you..."

Merlin was fighting for his life and suddenly Arthur felt like a coward. If he couldn't admit his own feelings even on his death bed, then he had never been as courageous as he thought.

"You're right," Arthur whispered and grabbed Merlin's hand that was lying next to his. "I should take a leap of faith."

Merlin was watching him curiously, surprised by his sudden change of behaviour.

"Who is she?" Merlin encouraged him. "I will go and find her immediately."

"There's no need for that," Arthur assured him.

"But you said..."

"There is no she."

"But..."

"There is he," Arthur finally admitted. "And he's right here by my side."

Arthur raised his gaze and looked directly at his friend. Merlin turned pale. His mouth was agape and his wide-opened eyes were piercing him through to his very core.

"Say something," Arthur eventually asked, because this silence was killing him. "I don't expect anything. You can't make yourself love m..."

"Shut up!" said Merlin, crying. "You prat! You idiot! You dollop-head! You...!" He was lost at words.

The next thing Arthur registered was Merlin's face very, very close to his own. Before he could analyse what was happening, Merlin's lips were on his, kissing him with passion and force that Arthur had never experienced.

"Of course I love you too," said Merlin once he pulled away. "What were you thinking not telling me before?!"

However, Arthur did not hear all this scolding. He focused on the love confession that he heard and how it made him feel. Not thinking too much, he pulled Merlin for another kiss. He knew that there were many things that they would have to discuss, but they could wait until morning. For now he wanted to focus on the requited love.

Merlin and Arthur were so occupied with each other that they barely noticed the glow that surrounded them. However, Arthur acknowledged that the pain he felt started slowly fading away.

"The curse is broken," he mumbled between kisses, which only encouraged Merlin to ravish his neck more.

oOoOo

"Stop spying on them. Your work is done."

The witch raised her gaze to look at her sister. "I want to be sure that they won't ruin it," she said innocently.

"I know you too well, little sister. You're an ordinary voyeur."

"How dare you! First you give me an actually interesting task, and now you won't let me enjoy my own success."

"Your own success?" the older sister snorted. "The whole plan was my idea. I even invented the curse. You were simply a... how did you say it? Oh, yes! A messenger!"

"I had to tell them something," the younger witch protested.

"You were supposed to stick to the plan but you had to improvise."

"It worked!"

"Barely. Poor Arthur almost died. If you had stuck to the original plan, they would have got together much earlier."

"Your plan was boring."

"You did not say that!"

They were fighting like this for a few hours, completely forgetting about the point of their mission. Nevertheless, the whole magical community was indebted to them. It was painful to watch Merlin and Arthur dance around each other for years. Restoring the balance of the universe was just a nice little perk.