Sakura Matou distracted herself from the situation. Shinji's room held the slightest stench from his chemicals, a minor smell that tickled the nose for the first few minutes. By the time he finished with her, her sense would've acclimated to the sensation.

She tasted iron where she bit the inside of her mouth. The girl enjoyed cooking since it made Senpai happy. Even so, she disliked the blood from raw meat. Blood signified life and, from a mage's perspective, contained magical energy even if it was trace amounts. As a result, she needed all her blood, since she needed her Od. Not a drop of red left her mouth. She swallowed it all to not waste any.

She heard Shinji's erratic breathing and the rhythmic, familiar sound of his bed creaking. Of all her senses, hearing gave her the least trouble. Her mouth was violated often. Crest Worms gave a putrid odor that never faded away. Her body betrayed her with pain and carnal sensation. She saw things which would drive most souls into insanity. Oh, how she wished insanity embraced her with its numbing love.

Nevertheless, hearing supported her. She learned to let screams and insults wash over her. No matter what her family said, they paled in comparison to her self-berating. When thrown into the basement where Crest Worms crawled into every orifice and into her body, she didn't mind their sound. To her, the thousands of worms crawling and slinking sounded akin to raindrops. It helped with distracting herself, a world where she sat alone under a pavilion as rain fell from the heavens.

Sakura blinked. Shinji's room looked mundane, especially inside the house of a magus. A closet. A bookshelf with books. A table. A shelf to hold school supplies and those smelly chemicals. He lived in an ordinary room since he was an ordinary boy. Her brother had no talent or potential in magic, so their grandfather ignored him completely. What a blessing…

She looked at the ceiling. Even when she closed her eyes, she pictured it perfectly. She grew accustomed to the sight after night upon night of this… ritual. Thus, she noticed the ladybug immediately. Fall arrived and brought frigid temperatures, so those insects fled towards warmth.

Even so, the purple-haired girl had difficulty with keeping her eyes on the ladybug. With Shinji's every thrust, her body moved forwards then backwards again which incidentally was why the bed creaked rhythmically.

That brought her to the last sensation and the one she despised the most. Feeling. Touch. Pain. The body's vast network of nerves traveled to her brain. She had no way to stop it like closing her eyes, shutting her mouth, pinching her nose, or plugging her ears. Her body always felt, so she always suffered.

Crest Worms shifted and consumed from her under the girl's skin. The largest pulsated next to her heart, her grandfather's consciousness. He always was with her like a shadow. As they consumed her Od, her body atrophied and hungered for more. She felt as they crawled through her orifices when in the basement. She trembled as they produced pain and acted as an aphrodisiac. Her lust caused them to create more which caused her to lust more which caused them to create more. More. MORE.

Blood acted as a minor transfer of Od. Even those with no functioning magic circuits, like her adopted brother, had Od in their blood. Why did the Crest Worms stimulate her? There existed a more… efficient transfer. Even more than blood, it represented life. It WAS life.

Semen.

Shinji let out a final thrust. His member spasmed and released the… magical energy deep inside her. He let out a triumphant moan and pushed himself off her. He took special care to drive his elbow into her ribs on the way up.

He enjoys my suffering.

Ignoring those thoughts and not wanting to waste time, she slid on her panties and bra, not caring to clean his mess inside her. The hand-shaped bruise on her upper arm and marks on her torso already showed. She briefly wondered what caused him to be more violent today.

"You're mine," he gloated between his labored breaths. He smiled lecherously, his gaze pointedly not at her face. "And you always come back for more."

Technically, she didn't come to him today. Her reserves would've lasted until tomorrow, but he grabbed her by the arm and pushed her onto his bed. In the end, what difference did the timing make? He raped her before, and he'll rape her again. She didn't bother calling it anything else. It merely was another fact of her existence, one that existed from twelve years until now at fifteen. She held no delusions that it will change in the future.

"Sorry." She looked at the ground and spoke those words in total honesty. How could she not feel sorry for her brother? He wanted to be the next Matou hair, the next magus of the family. Instead, her blood family pawned her into this one where her presence shattered his dreams. His mother was fed to the Crest Worms for birthing a child with no functioning magic circuits. His father was a drunk who ignored his son before dying. His grandfather overlooked him except the occasional comment where he tells Shinji how worthless he is.

How could her brother not feel hate? How could he not look at her with disdain? She was something he wanted but will never reach, so he took her in a fleshly manner. If only a way existed to save him.

If only there was a way to let him suffer like me.

Sakura put on her blouse and berated herself for being evil. She loved her adopted brother like a blood brother. He didn't deserve to suffer like she did. No one did. What kind of monster wished living hell on others? She really must deserve this pain.

As if the world heard her thoughts, pain kissed her cheek as Shinji slapped her. "Sorry? Sorry!" He laughed as though she told a joke. "Don't you belittle me!" he snarled. "Thinking you're so special for being a magus. Taking all of grandfather's time from me. Don't you dare pity me!"

He put on his pants by this point. His body glistened in sweat and his seaweed-like hair pressed against his scalp. Lanky. He looked lanky. Not much muscle and no fat. She didn't pity him. She wished he had a better life.

I pity him. I loathe him.

She didn't pity or loathe him at all. She loved her brother and wanted him to be happy.

Sakura bowed her head and slipped on her skirt. The ache and jolts of pain throughout her body were ignored. A drop of raging river paled when compared to the sea. She staggered out of his room and into the massive halls of their mansion. The Matou home took more space than some hotels. It almost harkened back to older days of knights and heroes.

Only two people lived inside. Herself and her brother. Her grandfather also called these walls his home, but he cast away his humanity decades ago. His consciousness transferred to his Crest Worms. Even though the bugs could form into a temporary body, he spread himself over his swarm, including the ones that violated and lived inside her.

As she trudged away, Shinji stepped out of his room, almost red with anger. How odd. "I know what you're doing! You've been going to Shirou's house!"

Senpai…

The mere mention of his name lightened her world like a match in a black cave. She first saw him years ago after school hours. The sun had begun its descent and cast the world under an orange hue. Senpai wanted to pole jump at a certain height but failed on his first try. She wasn't sure why she stopped to watch him, but she did. Perhaps she wanted to see how many tries he'd take before quitting. Maybe she wanted an excuse to stay away from home for a few more minutes.

It didn't matter why. She just watched him. He picked himself back up and tried again. He failed and tried again. Minutes passed. More tries and more failures. The orange hue changed into a black shadow, but he tried still. If a normal person saw Senpai, they'd call him stupid for failing so often. To Sakura, she saw…

A fellow failure.

She saw something different. From then on, she watched him from a distance and listened to any rumor she heard. Senpai always helped others. He fixed school equipment. He'd go out of his way to help a stranger. He never asked for anything in return.

She knew he joined the archery club. It provided a perfect opportunity to be near her senior by a year. Despite having no interest in archery and knowing Shinji participated in the same club, she joined. Though she never talked to him for those first few mundane weeks, the girl found the experience the most pleasant in memory because…

I'm a stalker.

Because he looked peaceful. He never missed, a genius of the bow. Then, like all other things in her life, tragedy struck. He got a burnt and broken arm working at his part-time job.

Shinji enjoyed his pain.

It was a tragic accident. His arm sustained notable injuries. Within two days, the rumors spread. Senpai won't be able to fire a bow for a couple weeks, but he decided to quit archery club. He didn't want to be injured again, since then he couldn't help anyone.

Sakura fell into a deeper despair than before. Just when she could be near Senpai, he was gone. Then, a wonderful thought sprung into her mind.

Embed yourself in his life like a Crest Worm.

She could help him at his home while he recovered! As it turned out, he needed the help. Senpai worked diligently and maintained his oddly large, Japanese-style home in perfection; however, he had no parents. His adopted father died years ago.

Did he suffer like me?

He never stopped her, so she came over every morning henceforth. Cooking. Cleaning. Simply being there. Under the same roof, they'd eat breakfast together. He taught her how to cook. He smiled at her. HE SMILED AT HER!

He knows nothing of my darkness, my impurity, my evil.

When his arm healed, she expected to leave him behind. She lost her excuse to see him, but he said, "See you tomorrow morning." He expected her to come back, so she did. For a month and a half, she spent her mornings with Senpai. For once, her soft smiles had a trace of truth rather than an illusory lie.

At the edge of the stairs, she turned around to face her brother and answered, "Grandfather never told me to stop." For some reason, he allowed her a taste of happiness. She dared not question why.

He marched towards her and embodied youthful anger. His eyes blazed in jealous fury. His cheeks reddened in hate. His hands clenched into fists. Will he rape her again or simply hit her?

His footsteps echoed on the wooden walls, bare of any family portraits. She dared not step back or risk tripping on the stairway to the first floor. A collection of dust covered the handrails and floor, for no one bothered maintaining the mansion.

"You belong to me!" he yelled. Why did he repeat himself? She understood him the first time. Even then, Senpai was one of the few males who tolerated Shinji's presence. He got along with everyone even if he disapproved of how he treated her. She thought he suspected Shinji to occasionally boss her around the house. Nothing more. No one suspected anything more. No one cared enough besides Senpai.

Did her brother just realize she visited Shirou for weeks?

She nodded and took her first step down the stairway. He grabbed her forearm, hard. Soon, it will leave a bruise meaning she'll wear a jacket all day tomorrow. Most of the time, he took care to hurt her where it could be concealed better.

"Don't ignore me!" She felt him squeeze with all his might. "Why would that idiot even tolerate you? Slut! Liar! Thief!"

He wouldn't order her to not go because he couldn't. Without Grandfather's permission, he could do nothing. Rape her. Punch her. Strangle her. Criticize her. He couldn't kill her, so he had no option of stopping her. She felt sorry for him since her actions made him feel powerless. She knew she was a cruel and selfish person under her smiling exterior. Why else would she like going to see Senpai? It made her happy, so that was selfish. It made Shinji feel bad, so that was cruel.

Is being selfish wrong?

Yes, it was wrong. She had no right to be selfish.

Shinji wanted to hurt her. His words grasped at anything to demean or disillusion her. Did he even pay attention to what he said? Perhaps if he did, his fate could've been avoided.

"You go around smiling and being helpful," he sneered. "I know what you really are. I know why no one should tolerate you!" He gave up discouraging her and let go. Sakura took two more steps down the stairs. Under his breath, he mumbled a careless comment. "Maybe I should tell Shirou you're not a virgin."

Sakura froze.

Kill him.

One of her feet hovered centimeters above a step, but she didn't move it down to touch. Her hand gripped the handrail until her knuckles turned white.

Seeing a reaction, Shinji smirked like a predator stalking prey. "Oh, he'd love to hear that, wouldn't he? Little Sakura. Pure Sakura. Just a lie. You're a slut who can't last a few days before you come crawling on your hands and knees, begging for my dick." He laughed. "I wonder how much he'd hate you for tainting his house. For tainting him with your existence."

No! Senpai smiled at her. He was nice to her. He showed her how to cook better and ate meals with her. He even pat her head once! Now, she'd hurt him! He'd know how she lied and never would speak to her again.

KILL HIM.

She didn't want to hurt Senpai.

"P-Please don't," she whimpered. Her stoic mask cracked, and tears formed in her eyes. "Please."

Shinji puffed out his chest. "Not so high and mighty now, are you? Maybe if you never go to his house again, I'd consider it. Oh! And beg on your hands and knees too. You better beg hard. I'm not in a generous mood."

Terrified, she crawled up the stairs and kneeled before her brother. She'll never visit Senpai again, but she won't hurt him. "Please," she whispered.

He cupped his hand over his ear. "What was that? A whisper? You must really hate that idiot to only whisper for him."

At the top of her lungs, she shrieked, "Please! Please! Please! Don't let me hurt Senpai! Please do-!" Her voice broke from the strain. She sobbed. The sole bright match in her life snuffed itself and left a wisp of smoke behind.

KILL HIM!

Her left hand itched.

"Hmmm." He rubbed his hand on his chin in mock consideration. "That was a little better, but… Nah." He waived his hand. "I think I will tell him any-"

Something snapped. She no longer paid attention to what he said. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Shinji will destroy the only thing to ever make her feel happy.

Her left hand shot out and grabbed his right leg. With all her might, she pulled. Shinji let out a shriek and lost his balance. His body lurched forward, and his head slammed into a stair corner. His body toppled over his head. Sakura watched as he tumbled down to the first floor. He didn't get back up.

Sakura stood and looked below. She didn't feel anything in particular. There was no relief by keeping her secrets from Senpai. Nothing swelled in her chest. No remorse. No glee. It felt… like taking a bite of plain rice. She simply acted to survive, though it did nothing else for her.

A pool of blood crept from Shinji's head. His eyes stared at the ceiling without seeing. His arms and legs lied at peculiar angles.

Sakura murdered her own brother. That didn't disturb her, nor did her lack of concern worry her.

Grandfather stepped from the basement. She knew he watched it. He saw everything. The rape. The punches. Everything. His voice filled the void of silence like two knives grinding together. "Clean that mess before it stains the carpet."

"Yes, Grandfather." Her voice sounded normal. It made sense. Nothing important changed after all.

As if it was an afterthought, he looked towards the last living human in the Matou mansion. "Oh, and throw the body to the Crest Worms. Might as well get some use from him."

She nodded and walked down the stairs. It seemed befitting for Shinji to die this way. A mundane death for a mundane human. Nothing noteworthy occurred, and no one will mourn him.

Sakura lifted the body by the shoulders and drug him to the basement. She felt the slightest annoyance from it all, since it left a line of blood. More stains for her to clean. How unfortunate.

Not bothering to drag the carcass any further, she pushed it over into the pit, and the body sunk into the withering mass of worms. She smiled at the sight. "Brother, aren't you happy now? You always wanted to be a magus. You got the same training as me now!" Well, the worms violated her while her brother got consumed, but the devil's in the details.

She rubbed her bloody hands on her blouse and closed the basement door behind her. Grandfather had yet to move. It appeared he was deep in thought.

"Sakura, this is your mess. Find a new supply yourself." Without waiting for a reply, his body dissolved into a withering mass of Crest Worms.

Senpai.

She protected Senpai!

And it felt good. Really good.

She hummed as she filled a bucket with soap and water. A magus almost never used modern conveniences, so Sakura had no carpet cleaner. With a mop, she repeated the same steps until the blood's remnant disappeared. Rinse. Dry. Repeat.

She scratched at her left hand. It tingled just under the skin. She used that hand to pull Shinji, so maybe she sprained something. She'll worry about that later. Wiping her brow, she smiled at her work. Senpai liked clean houses, and she tidied hers up a bit.

Senpai wants to be a hero.

Then Senpai will never know what happened. Like the other horrors in her life, this won't see the light of day either. He'd hate her if he ever learned about what happened.

So he never will.

Something snapped back into place. Sakura blinked, confused. She looked around the room with damp carpet and noticed the mop in her hands. "How did I get down here?"

She looked up the stairs. Weren't she and Shinji standing there? She felt the throbbing pain from his… actions in the bedroom. She recalled that, but something stood just outside her grasp, like having an answer on the tip of her tongue.

Where did Shinji go? "Shinji?" she called out. The girl never sought her brother, but the definite feeling of wrongness exceeded her normal habits. Knowing her brother, he'd come running at her irate that she called for him like a master would a servant. He was in the mansion. He must've heard her, yet no reply came.

Where was he?

He ran away.

Yes, she faintly recalled that. He hated her so much that he left the house. Her existence drove her brother away from the only place he called home. What a horrible person she was. Grandfather and herself, the only two occupants remaining.

Her shoulders slouched. Loneliness smothered her life for years, and it became more blatant.

"Sakura." She turned around and saw her grandfather. His pale form looked like a worm even in a human disguise. Oddly enough, her grandfather showed a rare emotion, surprise. If he had an eyebrow, it would've rose with the rest of his skin.

"How will you punish me for making Shinji run away?" she asked and prepared herself for another sleepless night.

He won't punish me. He's terrified of me now. I ensured he has no more heirs. I am the only path to his dream.

"Ah…" He paused, as if he didn't know how to answer her question. He continued by disregarding what she said. "More pressing things concern me over losing a worthless life." He cackled under his breath. "Perhaps I misjudged a few things." He admitted a mistake? "Show me your hand."

Assuming he spoke of her left hand, the one that tingled, she raised it for him.

He shook his bulbous head. "Of all the reasons to receive Command Spells…"

"Grandfather?"

He tapped his cane on the ground like a judge deciding a sentence. "I will release you from my household and Crest Worms if you complete one task."

Sakura didn't move. She must've heard something wrong. He must hate her for chasing Shinji away, but he offered the one thing she dared not hope for in almost a decade? Freedom? He decided to torture her with sweet words. Yes, he chose this as punishment.

"Look at your hand." She did. A symbol etched itself onto the back of her hand, three petals. "You have been chosen to fight in the Holy Grail War. You will win and let me wish in your place. Then, I will let you go."

She faintly remembered Uncle Kariya, how he fought in the war to free her and died. He proved she had no hope to escape, and now the same opportunity came to her.

Sakura knew she was a horrible person. Senpai deserved a girl better than her, purer than her, and kinder than her. She didn't delude herself into a happy ending, but maybe her freedom could buy a lifelong friendship between them… A life where she could help Senpai even after he found a girl worthy of him.

He could be mine.

Sakura nodded and spoke two words that changed countless fates. "I will."

Shirou Emiya wanted to be a Hero of Justice, but he settled for helping others for now. His late father was a magus and taught him a little before his passing. For the moment, he could only reinforce or structurally grasp objects, the magical equivalent of saying "mama" or "dada". He'll get better one day. He must to achieve his dream.

As a Hero of Justice wannabe, he knew what to do today. The rumors circulated this morning, and his homeroom teacher and sorta big sister Taiga confirmed them. Shinji Matou left Japan. He transferred to a European school for some reason and didn't bother telling anyone. A few students whispered his grandfather, Old Man Zouken, went to the principal to iron things out, though no one could confirm that one.

What bothered Shirou was Sakura. He woke up early this morning and made her (and Taiga since she never passed a free meal) breakfast. They ate in silence like normal. They cleaned the dishes and packed a lunch like normal. They walked to school together like normal. She never said anything about Shinji leaving. Maybe she felt embarrassed about it.

He never claimed to understand girls… or most people for that matter. Shinji called him distorted once, always willing to help and never caring about his own needs. Why should he be selfish? If someone needed help, it only felt natural to help them.

He walked past as the fire consumed men, women, and children. Babies screamed. Mothers ran into the fire only to die with their children in vain. He walked past them all.

Sakura arrived on his doorstep one day. He knew Shinji for a couple years, but he never met his little sister. Then, there she was, insisting to cook and clean his house because he was injured. He didn't want to let her. He should be the one helping, not the one getting the help. After the first few days, he understood she liked assisting him, so who was he to deny her happiness?

Perhaps she really liked his kitchen?

In the end, he accepted that Sakura Matou became a part of his home. Even with Taiga checking on him (and eating his meals), things felt empty without Father. A big house wasn't meant for one person.

Home after home burned in a raging inferno. He didn't know which, if any, were his.

He left his high school without asking anyone if they needed help. To outside observers, they saw a man on a singular mission. He walked to Sakura's middle school and entered the building. It violated rules, but the situation superseded rules. Justice needed to be delivered.

The moment he entered, he saw her alone. She never mentioned friends before. "Sakura!" He called out her name and strode towards her. She looked up and smiled softly.

He watched as the man who adopted him smiled and cried in joy. Kiritsugu Emiya found the only survivor at ground zero. The boy knew it was selfish, but he wanted to have that same joy by saving others.

Her eyes opened in mild shock. "Senpai," she half whispered. "You should've waited at the gate."

He shook his head. "Is it true. Shinji's gone?"

"Yes."

He wasn't the most perceptive person, but Sakura's distress looked blatant. She tilted her head to the ground. Her muscles tensed. Her hands clenched. Damn it. Why hadn't he noticed anything this morning? He's a sucky senpai.

"Come on." He smiled. "I'm cooking tonight, whatever you want."

She looked at him with violet eyes. "Then I'll cook." Ah… That wasn't the response he expected, but if it made her happy…

"Okay!"

She took off her school shoes and put on her normal ones. After grabbing her books, they walked home together.

Walking on glass, wood, rubble, bodies as the fire devoured all.

They walked over leaved that crunched underfoot. An autumn freeze brought many of the remaining leaves down. The normal smells of the city became masked by the earthy, pleasant aroma of decay. Clouds hung overhead and blocked the sun. He shivered, so he immediately looked to Sakura for any sign of her being cold. He couldn't tell.

"Here." He draped his coat over her shoulders. The thought of his cooling body didn't register. Sakura didn't say anything, but she seemed happy. Totally worth it.

The duo reached the house, and he unlocked the door. Maybe he should give her a spare key? Yeah, he'll do that tonight. No matter what might happen in her household, the Emiya residence always waited with open arms. That's what a Hero of Justice would do, right?

He never looked back. Did his parents disappear into the smoke and fire behind him, or did they mourn the passing of their son to this day?

Without a word, Sakura planted herself in his kitchen. He cleaned the empty rooms. It felt wrong to relax when she worked, so he busied himself. He punted homework off for later. Why did Father choose a house with so many rooms? Did he expect others to live here? Sometimes for months, his father disappeared and never told him where he went. Shirou often wondered if he tried to find people to fill those rooms but never succeeded. It was like his dream. He pursued it yet couldn't grasp it.

He fell on the ground, exhausted. His legs wouldn't move no matter how much he wanted to live. Maybe dying was better. Less suffering that way. With his last remaining strength, he reached his hand towards the twinkling night and grasped, as if he could pluck the stars from the heavens.

"Senpai. Ah, Senpai?"

He jerked his head to the speaker. Sakura stood in the doorway. He turned the lights on for the hallway but not for this vacant bedroom. The yellow artificial light cascaded around her figure, so he squinted to see her better. A vacuum ran in his hand… He'd been staring at a wall for how long before she called his name?

"Sorry, Sakura." He turned off the vacuum. "What was it?"

"Dinner's ready. Taiga should be here any moment, and…" She blushed. "Uh, ummm…" Her hands folded together, and her head bowed. "Senpai… can I stay the night?"

Social norms, consequences, and meager things like what she'd wear to bed weren't even considered. Sakura asked for help indirectly. With Shinji not in the Matou manor, she wanted to be here tonight. He wanted to help people, so who was he to deny it? The boy titled his head to the side and grinned. "Sure!"

Shirou was an empty person. Whatever he was burned in the great fire leaving only a body and a borrowed dream. His father wanted to be a Hero of Justice but failed. No one can save everyone. Shirou figured that was as good of a dream as any and wanted the happiness he saw when his father saved him.

He was about to learn for himself why he couldn't save everyone.

Shirou lowered his hand and waited to die. If Father arrived moments later, he would've died. Even so, one thing struck him as odd despite being only five and having lost his home, family, and memories. Something outshone the countless stars.

A great grail floated in the night sky and poured what looked like hell's damnation into the fire.