I'm alive! (Kinda.)

They ended up bundling Thor into the back of the van between an uncomfortable Eric and rather vindictive-looking Darcy, who had yet to put down her taser. Peter couldn't bring himself to mind, because Jane had rather distractedly pushed him into the shotgun seat. He loved riding shotgun, even if Darcy was the only one that ever seemed to let him do it. Jane had this weird thing about letting him do anything that could be considered even mildly dangerous, and Eric hated driving.

His new-found blanket was pulled tighter around him in an effort to drive off the lingering sense of cold. It was not at all to hide the way his fingers were trembling like some little kid's. It just so happened that this weird green-gold cape was too damn comfortable for its own good.

Oops. Jane would probably wash his mind out with soap if she caught him thinking that way.

"Why were you out in the storm, anyway?" Darcy asked in an effort to dissolve some of the tension. Well, at least he wasn't the only one uncomfortable with the negative energy buzzing between Thor and Jane.

"Storm? That was no storm," Thor mused with some secret glinting in his eyes. "That was the irradiated fallout of the Bifrost's dimensional-warping form of travel."

All three scientists - plus Darcy - turned to give Thor a wide-eyed, startled look. His turned into a grin rather quickly, as he practically vibrated with unasked questions. Peter just couldn't get over how unreal this guy was!

Thor fidgeted uncomfortably before giving a helpless shrug. "What? This is standard knowledge of most children on Asgard. Is it not the same on Midgard?"

Jane blinked, and a quick glance revealed Pete mouthing 'Midgard' with a slight frown on his face, almost as if he was displeased with his lack of knowledge rather than 'Thor's' mental stability. It was just too cute - the way his face scrunched up in thought. She choked down the urge to laugh hysterically over such an innocent thing amidst utter insanity.

Jane needed a drink - preferably stiff, preferably soon.

"Let's just get Peter to the hospital," Eric interjected, his lilting accent becoming more apparent in his stress. "We can worry about who's from where after."

It was a tense thirty minute ride to the hospital in town and Thor would not take his eyes off her baby brother. She wanted to punch him. Was it bad she wanted to punch a potentially dangerous man who lived through a worm-hole and knew way too much about the mechanics behind it? Darcy'd say she needed anger management counseling. Again.

Jane bundled Peter, weird blanket and all, through the front doors and to the desk where a rather frazzled-looking nurse sat. Thor was on her heels the entire time.

"Can I help you folks?" the nurse asked tiredly as he dug around for forms to fill out.

"My good healer, my charge was needlessly exposed to the dangerous radiation of the Brifrost's fallout by his thoughtless carers. He must see the lead physician this instant!" Thor banged his fist against the counter to make his point, and Jane winced when it cracked slightly under pressure. Must have hit a weak spot…

The nurse, Williams, just quirked an eyebrow and slid a clipboard to Eric, who calmly accepted it. "Riiiight. Well, y'all need to fill out the forms and we'll have Dr. Sumdac with you momentarily."

Jane blushed. "Excuse my, ah, boyfriend. He's a Shakespeare nut."

Nurse William sighed, shuffling to get another clipboard ready. "It's fine," he said dispassionately. "I've treated weirder when I worked in Nevada."

She just blushed again and laughed as she pinched Thor by his ear and herded Peter toward the little group of seats that Eric and Darcy were settled into. Her mentor was scratching his head, muttering about birthdays and weight and contacts.

"How dare you manhandle a Prince of Asgard!"

She scowled. "Stuff it, wacko. I'd be more than happy to drop you off at a mental ward and never think about this horrible day again, but you know about wormholes and have actually been through one, if I can believe you. So just, just sit there. Quietly."

Oh, Jane was so done for the day with hot strangers that fell from the sky.

Thor looked like a kicked puppy, but listened to her, er, command once Peter and his green-and-gold blanket plopped down into the tacky seat next to him. He gave her little brother a happy, squinty-eyed smile, that was not cute. At all.

"Kid, got any allergies?"

Pete looked up, wide-eyed. "Huh?"

"Peaches," she said automatically. "He can't have peaches or barley."

Well, at least she could do one thing right.

"The little one can never have mead?" Thor demanded, heartbroken. God, he was such a drama queen. What the hell even was mead?

"Peter Parker?" a haggard, Indian man in a lab coat asked. He was on the short side, portly, with a warm smile. "I'm Dr. Sumdac; I'm going to take a look at you, if that's alright?"

Pete nodded shyly, hand slipping into hers. Jane swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat and squeezed back. He'd be okay - she wouldn't allow it to be any other way.

Dr. Sumdac led them to an examination room, the walls covered with little cars and planes and pictures of what she thought might be Detroit. A single picture of the doctor and a smiling girl Jane assumed was his daughter hung by the drawn shades.

Pete hopped up on the table when beconned.

"You're lucky, Mr. Parker. I just moved here not too long ago to study cosmic energy in peace; I know what should and shouldn't be there. So let's take a look, eh?"

Several machines Jane couldn't identify were dragged out. Dr. Sumdac scanned Pete over with them, humming when they bleeped and blooped.

"I worked with Dr. Richards for a while after I got out of robotics and into radiation. Very smart man - smart to marry the wonderful Sue Storm before someone came along and snatched her up."

Reed Richards, one of the reasons she wanted to study space in the first place. He had given a lecture at her college back when he was a bright, young genius with radical ideas about radiation from space. He was so passionate that Jane got sucked into the Wonderful World Of Space.

"Well, Mr. Parker. I can safely say you're not going to turn into a tentacle alien or giant robot. The radiation will make you more susceptible to UV for a while, and might weaken your immune system and lead to fatigue, but that should all clear up in a few months at most."

Dr. Sumdac turned to stare down Jane and Thor. "Make sure your son wears long sleeves and plenty of sunscreen. A good diet and plenty of rest, and he should be fine. Now, Mr. Parker, if you will take your son's spot. I want to make sure you're okay as well. I overheard that you were exposed to the storm too."

"Oh, we're not-" Jane tried to deny the relationship, revolted at the idea of Thor and his cute, bunny face being Pete's father.

"As you command, Physician!" Thor boomed cheerfully, plopping down next to a giggling Pete.

The doctor pulled out his equipment to run his tests, but stopped when the first one let out a shrill beeping sound that had Pete clutching his ears.

"Interesting… Mr. Parker, how long were you out in the storm?"

"Not in the storm, Physician. I came through the Bifrost to this world as a punishment from the Allfather."

Sighing, Dr. Sumdac moved to his next machine, and then the last. "You have an irregularly high concentration of radiation in your body, of an origin that I don't know. Your sinoatrial and atrioventricular nodes show signs of irregularly high voltage. I take it you're not from Earth?"

Pete leaned in and whispered something that sounded like 'midgard'.

Thor nodded his head. "Indeed not! I am Prince Thor of Asgard, heir to the Allfather… Or, at least I was."

God. Could this day get any weirder?