Review Time:

BlazeTrog755 - Rip indeed.

Mike AZ 2 - Well they're not blood related, and doubly so that Edelgard forgot her past with Dimitri. One could interpret it as platonic or not, but either way, their relationship is one of the most important aspects of 3H. (besides, I'm mostly just kidding with Sylvain's suggestion)

DestructionDragon360 - I hope it delivers!

Phoenixblazer39 - I touched it on it (nearly every part 1 Rhea entry was her thirsting). I really like the pairing and a good friend of mine got me into it. But it is a little...unorthodox so I understand if it doesn't gel with people. Keep it in mind I like Byleth with Edelgard, Dimitri, or Claude too.

LuciferXIII Trollkaiger Green - Do NOT mess with Mama Dominic.

Plasma Dragon 312 - I think this is as far as it goes. I love 3H and maybe can do a serious fic for it down the line(?) but this is my crackfic quota.

SquidbaggerofWoomyandNgyness - You're welcome.

Half-beastdragonsoul2013 - Edelgard and Dimitri teaming up is the biggest nightmare for the Agarthans, lol.

Dandaman5 - I HAD to use that reference.

recon1o6 - Considering Seteth is related to Rhea, you'd have to REALLY stretch to get him on the same team against her. Maybe if you play up Rhea's negative traits, but even then...

Guest - Glad you enjoyed.

DamnedBuret - Oh no, I'm sorry it came off like that. It was implemented by the others as a precaution, Mercedes dearly loves her brother. She's too kind! She's the Life Knight!

Alois Ragneld resumed life as a Knight, doubly so as a loyal Knight to the child of his departed mentor. He continues to charm his family with his jokes and jolly demeanor, and even established his own comedy club, Chuckles. …People go for the booze.

Anna, as manager of Garreg Mach's debts, managed to propel herself as the #1 merchant in Fodlan, setting up connections across the continent and even starting her own company, Anna Co. She eventually married and had a little Anna of her own, whom she affectionately calls Junior.

Annette Fantine Dominic returned home to Dominic territory with Gilbert and together they reunited their family. She remains good friends with Mercedes, and she decided to become a music teacher. Felix attends only to hear her songs.

Ashe Ubert married Ingrid and together they became loyal and popular Knights of Faerghus. He would read knightly stories to the children of the country and eventually his own. On the side he runs Ashe's Bistro, although he has to keep insisting rats don't help him cook (they do).

Balthus von Albercht returned home to his territory with enough gold to pay off his debts and start things anew. He had no interest in running the house, and it didn't take long for him to start collecting more debts. But to keep him out of trouble, his family forced him to work for Anna and be a debt collector. He still prefers the cougars.

Bernadetta von Varley overthrew her own father and imprisoned him for his treatment. She settled down with Hubert and the spymaster's presence alone was enough to make anyone think twice about mistreating her. She has penned many successful albeit dark novels. Still calls herself Alois's daughter.

Byleth Eisner ascended to Archbishop and married Rhea. Everyone felt she was the only worthy candidate for the job. Her Eisner clan swelled with the ranks of outcasts, orphans, mercenaries, and anyone loyal to her. She would have three children - Jeralt, Sitri, and Sothis, all with matching green hair.

Caspar von Bergliez continued his training and punching people in the name of justice. Petra ended up marrying him and their union solidified alliance between Briggid and Adrestria. He encourages short kids to fight for their rights and punch the taller kids until they say uncle.

Catherine - aka Cassandra Rubens Charon - remained a Knight and brushed off her family's disapproval of her lifestyle. She would spend her days teaching new knights, traveling with Shamir, and so on. She officially announced she was gay to the surprise of literally no one.

Claude von Riegan returned to Almayra and managed to broker a peace between them and Fodlan. He gave his house's land to Lorenz and Riegan was absorbed into the Alliance. Still keeps in touch with his Teach and still cooks up poisonous mixtures for battle. It was said he is spreading the dreaded dubstep. The Almayrans love it.

Constance von Nuvelle gained some of her house's prestige back thanks to the new Emperor, replacing the fallen Hresvelg house. She would dazzle the populace with her magic tricks and got closer to her old childhood friend Emile. She is planning a strategic marriage to him to cement her power, which people are nervous about.

Cornelia was sent back to Faerghus but rather than have her origins exposed, she reformed and became the most polite, nice, and holy woman in the region, to emulate the identity she stole. Those who knew the truth debated if she should hang, but Gilbert insisted she had to use her time to restore the country she helped ruin, a more pragmatic punishment. She never stepped out of line again, out of fear of not just him and Dimitri, but Lady Dominic.

Cyril used his education from Rhea and skills from Shamir to help those affected by war, even forming a gang of youths to look out for those in need, the "Bow Boys". Although his comrades had to plead with him to not use the bombs he managed to make.

Dedue Molinaro remained in service to Dimitri and helped find a home for all the survivors of the Tragedy of Duscur. His people still remained in pain, but both sides worked to ensure the survivors faced less prejudice. He started an orphanage with his new wife Mercedes to help the downtrodden.

Dimitri Alexandre Bladdiyd ascended to the throne as King of Faerghus. He was reluctant but his friends and loved ones made him realize he was the only one that could pull his country of the darkness. He takes time to get therapy often, and vows to never forget what he did. He has also restored his lost friendship with Edelgard.

Dorothea Arnault married Ferdinand and became Empress of Adrestria. But not wanting the title to stamp out where she came from, she made it her mission to help the poor however she could and lower the gap in wealth. Many adored the free opera shows she would hold throughout the country to boost morale, and she was never happier.

Edelgard von Hresvelg surrendered her title, her house, her land, and more as a consequence of starting war. In her days under house arrest she penned her memoirs and several essays on the changing political landscape. Eventually she was allowed to reside in Faerghus, to give her and Dimitri closure in therapy sessions together. Thanks to Hanneman she removed both her crests and restored her hair color to what it once was.

Felix Hugo Fradarius resided over his region to assist both his father and Dimitri, having restored his relationship with both. He still trains, and he's still quite gruff, but everyone knows he's reliable. Eventually he would travel the land with Sylvain for both diplomacy and to test his blade.

Ferdinand von Aegir became Emperor and began a sweeping list of reforms to better improve society, lifting the shame his father brought the house. He was quite popular with the common folk and nobles alike. Many would say his catchphrase. He keeps insisting it's not one.

Flayn - Saint Cethleann - stepped away from the public eye for peace and moved closer to the sea with her father. She still loves eating fish and other delicious food, and from time to time she takes trips to see the rest of the world.

Fleche von Bergliez passed Advanced and even Mastery Exams to become one of the most pronounced soldiers in the Empire….by the time she was only 17. She insists she only worked hard to get where she was, denying the existence of "The Est Principle" scholars have created.

Gilbert Pronislav - aka Gustave Eddie Dominic - officially retired and went home to spend his days woodworking, fishing, and being with his wife and daughter. He teaches new knights from time to time, now with a peaced smile that he has gotten both Annette and his country back.

Hanneman von Essar continued his research on Crests and completed his life's work, the device to remove Crests. Although many entrenched in the system refused to do it out of fear of compromising their own power, many hurt by the system - including Edelgard, Sylvain, and Lysithea - had it done. He soon became the most revered scholar in Fodlan.

Hapi returned to her village to reunite with her family, and closely oversaw both the reformation of Cornelia and the Church. She still considers Abyss a home, and even though her curse of sighing to draw beasts was eventually fixed, she loves pranking people into thinking it could still happen.

Hilda Valentine Goneril (much to her chagrin) became head of her house based on how much stronger she had gotten over the years, even defeating Holst in an arm wrestling much. She's still quite lazy, and many have taken that as the secret to becoming more powerful. When told about this, she simply shrugged and took a nap.

Hubert von Vestra assisted Ferdinand with restructuring the Empire, removing his own house to support the rise of Aegir, Nuvelle, Bergliez, Varley, and Hevring. Despite being tied with assisting the Emperor and being with Bernadetta, he remains eternally loyal to Edelgard and writes to her often.

Ignatz Victor became an artist-knight under Gloucester support, satisfying his father but also accomplishing his own dreams. Although not the most skilled fighter in battle, he would dazzle friend and foe alike with his paintings, of which he still has 5628 more commissions to fill.

Ingrid Brandl Galatea forged her own path by serving as a loyal knight to Dimitri with her husband Ashe. Ironically, ALL of their children would end up with the Galatea crest, but she made the decision with Felix and Sylvain to put their own will and desires above the needs of crests and houses. She made sure her father had enough money to comfortably retire.

Kronya was convinced by Byleth to reassume the guise of Monica and return to the von Ochs house, where Monica's father was overjoyed to see "his daughter" be alive. Although those not privy to her secret were never the wiser, they did raise an eyebrow whenever Monica played with rats or ate out of the garbage.

Jertiza von Hyrm was imprisoned for his crimes. But through time, therapy, daily visits by Mercedes, pieces of his shattered humanity returned. His sister's love was so strong the Death Knight side never came out again, as the specter feared the Life Knight. Has dreams to open an ice cream shop. (The flavors he has in mind are all blood colored).

Judith von Daphnel returned to Alliance to govern her territory. Gloucester and Edmund criticized her cavalier assistance to Garreg Mach during the war, but her popularity and attitude made their words fall on deaf ears. Still hangs out with Nader. Has to turn down date requests from Balthus.

Ladislavia moved from Adestria to Leicester, becoming Lorenz's bride. She was surprised she was more known as Lady Gloucester than a knight of the Empire, but she cherished every piece of screentime she got. She did develop a bit of a tea drinking addiction.

Leonie Pinelli led a branch of the Eisner clan to patrol the Alliance and punish both the corrupt and bandits. Her sense of money became so impressive Anna gave her a side job as a loan officer, where she charges a fair 5% interest rate. Courted and married Bylad, and it is said she loves him, not Jeralt. But since Byleth beat her to the punch she had to name her dog after her mentor instead of her firstborn. (She would have 14 children)

Linhardt von Hevring continued his Crest studies with Hanneman, producing many papers in the months when he wasn't lazing about. Started a research institute to give his house much more prestige. After completing his final thesis, he decided to marry Lysithea. On a coin flip.

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester became Leader of the Alliance and enjoyed all the fame, popularity, and nobleness it came with. He still writes to Claude as a show of good will, but has to always check his mail for anything explosive. Adores his wife Ladislavia. Was declared the Best Tea Expert in the land.

Lysithea von Ordelia removed her Crests, restoring her hair and increasing her life span. With the success of her own research she gave her parents a comfortable future, and her marriage to Linhardt cemented peace between the Empire and the Alliance. Is disappointed her child is already taller than her.

Manuela Casagranda would return to the stage and sing in many of Dorothea's operas, bringing a new generation of fans (and stalkers). Her rivalry with Hanneman turned to friendship, and eventually the two were wed on a warm spring day. Still insists she has the biggest breast size in Fodlan.

Marianne von Edmund moved to Goneril territory to officially marry Hilda. Her adoptive father pleaded with her to return, but she made it clear her future was not with the Margave. Thanks to her Crest she even managed to conceive with Hilda. Adopted Dorte and several other horses.

Mercedes von Martritz comfortably balanced charity work, her marriage, and caretaking of her brother. Her reputation as the Life Knight spread so far that even the most hardened of bandits broke down in tears and begged for her forgiveness. Is still good friends with Annette.

Nader was Claude's most trusted ally in Almayra, and he and Holst decided to squash their eternal rivalry by one of the most destructive battles in recorded history. Taught the Almayrans how to dab. Still hangs out with Judith.

Petra Macneary became Queen of Briggid and maintained peace with both Dagda and the Empire. She has taught her people many Fodlan expressions; "hoes are the mad", "ok boomer", and more. Was offered her grandfather's harem but decided to decline, proclaiming her love and body was only for her husband. Would have 35 children but remained the strongest warrior in her country.

Randolph von Bergliez would have a hard life. In a desperate attempt to stay remembered and liked he used his cool uncle persona to spread booze and drugs, which the Emperor put a stop to. Fleche had to bail him out of jail several times. His house made her the head to watch over him.

Raphael Kirsten became one of the most well-known knights of the Alliance, his tales of bravery and mass capture spread far and wide. Wants his sister to marry Ignatz. Currently holds the record for the most amount of food ingested in an hour, but no one wants to challenge the record.

Rhea Eisner stepped down from leading the church to let her wife guide Fodlan. She had to carefully control what was revealed to the public about her history to avoid mass panics and riots. Together with Edelgard, Dimitri, and Byleth, she has created reforms to phase out the relevancy of Crests in society and push the world towards fair elections. She has acknowledged these changes will take time but she is determined to undo the damage she has caused.

Rodrigue Achille Fradarius continued to rule over his territory, walking the tightrope between his duties and being close with his remaining son. Leaves flowers on Glenn's grave regularly. When asked what he would do about succession (Felix was not going to marry a random woman just for politics) he laughed and said "whatever my son wishes. If you don't like it, you'll have to duel him!"

Shamir Nevrand continued her mercenary work thanks to her consistent and loyal employer Byleth. Travels from time to time with Catherine (whom she privately married, she said she would shoot people with arrows if there was some lavish ceremony). When visiting Dagda she walked into a civil war and ended up as the next Queen. But she refused the position and picked whoever was the best killer on the island.

Sylvain Jose Gautier enjoyed freedom from Crest life, and merely shrugged when his impatient father demanded he get it back and marry someone. He retorted with this recorded comeback: "I got my bro Felix for life. You want a Crest baby, YOU get it. Later Pops!". Flirts now just for sport, he enjoys men and women wondering endlessly about his sexuality. He is Felixsexual. (Felix wanted to punch him for saying this).

Yuri Lecleric teamed up with the Abyss residents to form a spy network across Fodlan…..for Anna. The two of them would find out pretty much anything, and while this made him gain a lot of enemies, he was never bored keeping an eye open for the next development. Became good friends with Ashe.

But what of Seteth…..Saint Cichol himself?

It was a bright and warm summer day. At the shore, Flayn and Rhea were playing with the Archibishop's three children.

But out on the water, in a small boat…..were Seteth and Byleth, backs to each other as they had their lures out. Fishing was a pastime for the whole family, and these two were the best of them all.

"Mm….I wonder if we'll catch some salmon today. Flayn wants some."

"I'm hoping for cod," Byleth said. "Rhea likes that a lot."

Seteth was more relaxed these days. He would release many successful children's books across Fodlan, and while he was always there to advise the Archibishop…the worst had been over for quite some time. So he sat in his fishing hat, a present his family gave him for his last birthday.

"…hey, Seteth."

"Hm?" He turned his head. "Yes, what is it, Byleth?"

Jeralt's daughter watched a fish's shadow. "Do you ever regret all that happened? How much we drove you crazy?"

"Ah ha…..it is true it was very taxing from time to time. But in the end, it all worked out well." Seteth eyed his own catch. "Fodlan is finally at peace."

"Yeah." Byleth began reeling her line in. "Hey Seteth?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For everything you've done."

The wise advisor to the Archibishop, one of the Four Saints, and the best fisher in Fodlan, simply smiled and began reeling his own line in.

"It was my pleasure."

FIN

author's note: I've been getting confusion about the Byleth/Rhea event, so I'll make a note that hopefully saves me dozens of confused reviews. It's supposed to be in the same vein as what happened to Marianne, albeit a bit more subtle but admittedly i can see why it's not very clear. It's not biologically accurate, fine, it's just more of a cracktastic concept with Crests. You can view as either Byleth such power thanks to the Goddess infusion or Rhea because of her own origins. Sorry if it's a bit outthere, but hey, it's a crackfic for a reason.

Thanks for reading! This fic became insanely popular in such a short amount of time, and I'm glad so many of you enjoyed it. I do not have plans to do this for another game...honestly, I think I'm tapped out with the concept. But hey, if one of you feels inspired to try it yourselves, go ahead!

If you wanna read more FE stuff by me not only do I have the FE6 version of this, but a Radiant Dawn fic I'm going to pull out of hiatus after this, plus a whoooole bunch of one-shots and other stuff.

Have a fantastic day and I'll see you all next time! :)