Happy Halloween, Constant Readers! I was originally going to save this until I had more chapters written up, but since it's Halloween and this story is about Devils, I figured it'd be thematically appropriate. Enjoy!

VOLUME 1: SHINTARO HYOUDOU VS. FALLEN ANGELS

First Person POV – Shintaro Hyoudou

I Die

I fed some grass into my pocket and petted the hamster that I had nestled in there. He was a chubby little guy thanks to all the feeding he got throughout the day, but damn if that didn't make him cuter somehow. I grinned to myself at the thought of the ruckus this little guy was going to cause over the next week.

"You're such a child," said my best friend in that adorably monotone voice of hers, rolling her eyes. "What makes you think stealing the class pet is a good idea?"

"What makes me think anything is a good idea, Koneko-chan?" I asked. I pushed my glasses up my face with a single finger. "It's going to be fucking hilarious. As soon as everyone realises he's gone, boom, instant inner-classroom anarchy! I think I'll keep him for the week, see how long I can keep this up for. See just how worried people will get."

Koneko-chan sighed. "You're an idiot, Shin-kun."

My name is Shintaro Hyoudou, and what you're reading is me telling you how I became a massive supernatural badass. In the beginning, as you're seeing here, I was 16 years old and a first-year at Kuoh Academy, a school that had only a year ago become coed. Before that, it was an all-girl school, so the boy-girl ratio is still massively imbalanced in favour of the girls. Not that I'm complaining about being surrounded by ladies all day. I was a slim boy with pale skin, a stark contrast to the fair skin tone of the rest of my family. My eyes were an icy blue and my hair was jet black and spiked up in all directions. My eyes were framed in a pair of glasses. My face sported an amused grin most of the time; I had long since learned to find just about everything funny. I was wearing the boys' school uniform in a somewhat lazy, thrown-on fashion, with the black blazer with white highlights hanging open, the top three buttons of the white shirt unbuttoned, the black ribbon hanging loosely around the collar, black trousers that were just a little too tight for me, and brown shoes that were worn from all the running from pissed off authority figures I did.

Koneko Toujou-chan was a small girl, given she was the same age as I. Her white hair looked longer from the front than it actually was on account of the two bangs drooping past her shoulders, whereas the rest of her hair stopped at the neck, and she wore two black cat-shaped hair clips, one on either side of her head. She had remarkably pretty hazel eyes. She wore the girls' uniform, obviously, which consisted of a white shirt with a thin black ribbon, a black button-down corset with white highlights, a thigh-length magenta skirt with white highlights, and a pair of brown shoes. There was usually a shoulder cape to match the corset, but Koneko-chan chose not to wear that.

"Aww, don't be like that, Koneko-chan," I whined. "You're an essential part of my act! The straight girl to my agent of chaos."

"You mean I'm the one who stops you from getting into trouble," she said.

"That, too," I admitted. "But come on, even you can't deny that my escapades are all the more entertaining with you around to look disappointed."

"… Yeah, I just 'look' disappointed."

"That hurts, Koneko-chan. That really hurts. Where would I be without my best girl?"

It was a rare moment of triumph for me when I got some red to appear on that stoic face of hers. She would never admit to being embarrassed by my words, but I could see it. "Idiot," she muttered, looking away from me.

"You know you love me."

"Whatever you say." She saw them at the same time as I did and gave the tiniest of grimaces. "I need to go. Club activities. Have fun with your pervert brother and his pervert friends."

"I will. See ya!"

As Koneko-chan walked away, I walked towards my brother Issei Hyoudou and his two friends, Matsuda-san and Motohama-san. Better known around Kuoh Academy as the Perverted Trio. A well-earned title, you can be sure.

Matsuda-san had shaved hair that just barely showed atop his head and squinted so tightly that his eyes weren't visible. He wore the school uniform normally, but with the blazer unbuttoned. He was known around school as "Perverted Baldy" and "Sexual Harassment Paparazzi." From what Ise-nii told me, he used to be in a few different sport clubs but was in the photography club now.

Motohama-san was probably the most "normal" guy I've ever seen. He had thick black hair, a relatively normal face, and a pair of thick-framed glasses that constantly reflected the light, so his eyes couldn't be seen, either. He wore the school uniform absolutely perfectly, all buttoned up and everything. He was known around school as "Perverted Glasses" and "Three Sizes Scouter." He had this unusual and, from a certain viewpoint, cool ability to calculate a woman's three sizes just by looking at her. I remember thinking he would be a terrifying mathematician if he put that to use in other areas.

Then there was my older brother, Ise-nii, the most infamous pervert in school and the guy whose reputation I was slowly but steadily crawling out of. Our hair grew in similarly uncontrolled spikes, but that was just about the only physical feature we shared, for his hair was brown, as were his eyes. His skin was pretty normal in tone. He probably would have been considered quite good-looking if it wasn't for the expression of lechery that so often took hold of his face. He wore the school uniform with the shirt and blazer both completely open and a red T-shirt underneath, and he swapped out the brown shoes for white trainers.

The three of them were laying on the grass underneath a tree. I approached them with a smile on my face.

"Fuck off," Motohama-san said automatically as he noticed my approach. "I want you to maintain a distance of at least three feet of me at any given time."

"Aww, come on," I said playfully. "It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"You covered the lenses of my glasses with permanent marker, Hyoudou. Permanent. Fucking. Marker. Do you have any idea how much trouble it is to get that stuff out?"

"Sure I do. I tested it on my own first. Duh. What, did you think I'd do that if I wasn't sure you could get it off? I like a laugh, Motohama-san, but I draw the line at doing permanent damage to other people's property. I maintain a standard far above such things, you lowly swine, and I'll thank you to remember that." I made sure to grin to show it was just another joke. He had evidently taken the glasses thing more personally than intended.

"Chill out, Motohama," said Ise-nii. "It was just a prank. He does that shit all the time at home."

"And you can't say it wasn't funny," said Matsuda-san.

Motohama-san just grunted at them, but showed no more hostility to my approach.

"So, what's up, guys?" I asked, sitting down next to them. "Laying down in the hopes that your boners from all the fantasising you're doing will make little fleshy sun dials?"

"We're watching the track team when they run by," said Ise-nii.

As though on cue, a group of girls in the school sports gear jogged along on the part of the field nearest to us chanting "One two, one two!" as they went. I had to admit, the sweat making the clothes stick to their bodies added quite a bit of appeal to those clothes. Not that I would admit that out loud. If watching Ise-nii and his friends had taught me anything at all, it was that keeping sexual fantasies to yourself is an excellent way of surviving high school.

"Say, you hang out with Koneko Toujou, right?" Matsuda-san asked me.

"Yeah," I said.

"You think you could introduce us?"

"I could … but I don't think you'd like where your balls end up."

"Huh?"

"Over there," I pointed to the left, "over there," I pointed to the right, "and up there," I pointed to the top of a nearby tree. "Koneko-chan would see you approaching and make sure your voice never reached any kind of depth ever again."

Matsuda-san stared at me in horror for a minute, then flopped back and groaned. "It's not fair! How did you get so lucky? You're only in your first year!"

"And yet we, your senpai, have been here for over a year now and don't even have one girl between us," Motohama-san whined.

"Why'd my otouto have to be the one born with a way with the ladies?" Ise-nii cried. It was comical.

"To be fair, guys, you might have started off wrong by letting the entire school know your intentions right from the start," I pointed out. "Women tend not to respond too well if you just tell them outright that your only interest is in sticking your genitals inside their genitals. Unless they're hookers, but in that case, I know a place just down the street where late at night—"

"Shut the hell up and stop making fun of us!" all three shouted at me at once.

"But it's so much fun," I argued, grinning.

Before anything else could be said, a soul-piercing, ear-destroying sound reverberated through the area. "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Ah, I thought. The mating call of the most irritating of the female species on Planet Earth … fangirls. A shudder rocked my body and I could tell that the other three were having similar feelings. Having fangirls sounded pretty fun, especially if you were a hormone-ridden teenage boy, but when they were someone else's … even I'll admit it got very grating on the nerves, and I wasn't even all that jealous of the guy they were squealing over.

Motohama-san growled. "Kiba Yuuto. Every girl in school wants to sex him up."

"And every guy wants to mess him up!" Matsuda-san added.

"That tool!" said Ise-nii. "I don't get it! Just 'cause he's hot, sexy, really smart, and the coolest guy in school, they all wanna rub up on Kiba!?"

"Life really does blow sometimes …" Motohama-san moped.

"No, you wish life would blow you," I said in a chipper tone. "So long as someone's doing it, you don't really care, right?"

"Shut the fuck up, Hyoudou."

"Oh shit!" Matsuda-san cried, standing up. "We're gonna be late!"

"Ah, onto the daily attempt to peep on the kendo girls, are we?" I asked rhetorically. I knew for a fact the answer would be yes. "I wonder where the bruises will be on you this time? Maybe they'll strip you so everyone can see the bruises as well as your pathetic little winkies. Hahaha, there are endless possibilities!"

"Whatever," said Matsuda-san.

"Yeah, there's no guarantee it'll happen this time," Motohama-san agreed, moving to follow him.

"I like the optimism, guys," I said. "Please, keep that up. The inevitable tragedy of your situation just enhances the comedy I experience from it."

"You're such a little shit," Ise-nii commented as he went with them.

"But you still love me!" I reminded him.

"Yep, and I still can't figure out why."

I laughed again as they walked away. Those three getting beaten up was always a golden opportunity for some laughs. And I knew for a fact the kendo team enjoyed doing it, so in a way, they were making a noble sacrifice to put a big smile on other people's faces. That sort of wilful self-humiliation is rare outside of idiots these days. Let it be known that despite their perversity, I didn't consider any of them idiots – Motohama-san's measurement ability spoke well of his mathematical potential, Matsuda-san was actually a pretty gifted athlete as well as having knowledge on shot composition and such for his photography, and Ise-nii … well, he didn't have any one particular skill per se, but he was actually incredibly kind and accepting of others and had the patience to put up with me as a little brother, so that speaks well of him.

I gathered some more grass and dumped it into my pocket for the hamster before I stood up. When their inevitable beating got the better of them, the Perverted Trio would regroup behind the Old School Building, which was a place nobody ever really bothered to go to except to gawk at the front of it. Not many schools have old, decrepit-looking buildings as part of the structure, I'm sure, so it was kind of a novelty to have it.

I reached the back of the Old School Building, a little patch of grass in the otherwise weed-infested area, and flopped out on the ground. I took the hamster from my pocket and put him down on my chest, petting him softly. He was a cute little guy. As I laid there idly petting the little fluffball, I could have sworn I saw Koneko-chan in one of the windows for a second, but as soon as I raised my hand to wave, she was gone. It was weird. I'm probably seeing things, I decided.

Pretty soon, Matsuda-san and Motohama-san crashed through the bushes, panting, and sat up against the wall of the building.

"So Ise-nii was the sacrificial lamb today, was he?" I said. "A wise strategy, leaving a friend behind. Like the saying goes, 'If you get attacked by a bear in the woods, you don't need to outrun the bear, you just need to outrun the guy next to you.' A philosophy held primarily by psychopaths, sociopaths, and, most commonly, cowards. Which are you two, I wonder?"

"Cowards," they both said shamelessly.

"… Well, okay then."

"When those swords come out, Hyoudou, it's every man for himself," Motohama-san explained. "Ise would understand."

"And even if he don't … meh, fuck 'im," said Matsuda-san.

"Your sense of camaraderie is truly inspiring," I deadpanned.

Several minutes later, Ise-nii came barrelling through the bushes, too, only he was covered in red welts and bruises from where the kendo team had laid into him with their weapons. It wasn't the first time I'd seen this and I would be lying if I said I didn't find it just a little funny. Whereas with most people I would need to have very ill feelings towards them to take pleasure in their pain, sibling law decreed that Ise-nii and I are allowed to take pleasure in each other's suffering so long as no serious injuries are caused. Brothers are allowed to do that.

"You guys are assholes," he huffed at Matsuda-san and Motohama-san once he'd caught his breath.

"Oh look, he finally noticed," I said.

"Did you at least get to see some nip?" asked Motohama-san.

"No, I didn't get to see any nip!" Ise-nii snapped. "I was too busy getting beaten up with bamboo swords for looking through a tit hole I didn't even get to look through because of you ass … holes …" He trailed off as his gaze turned upwards, towards the decrepit-looking building beside us.

I followed his gaze and caught sight of one of the most popular girls in school making eye contact with my brother. She had the fairest skin I've ever seen, beautifully crimson red hair that dazzled the eyes, and blue-green eyes. She was wearing the girls' uniform in full, complete with the shoulder cape that Koneko-chan lacks, and it hugged her body tightly and left very little to the imagination. It was no wonder, really, that all the boys in school drooled over her. I was one of them – she was undoubtedly one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen.

Almost as soon as she appeared, she vanished, walking away from the window.

"Rias Gremory," Motohama-san commented. "Thirty six, twenty four, thirty six. President of the Occult Research Club. Word is that she's from Northern Europe."

"Stupid sexy foreigners," I joked, though I was as captivated as they were.

"Redheads," Ise-nii hummed. "There's just something about redheads …"

"And brunettes," I said. "And blondes. Basically anything with tits as far as you're concerned, huh, Ise-nii?"

"Yep." His reply came without a hint of shame. I could almost respect it. Though I could tell by his tone that he wasn't all there.

We hung out there for a little while longer and I had more fun needling the three of them, but I got bored of that eventually and headed home ahead of Ise-nii. It was a peaceful walk, but every now and then, I couldn't help but get the feeling I was being followed.

My bedroom in the dear old Hyoudou household was built on what I'll fondly call "organised chaos." Posters from anime, movies, TV shows and other stuff I'm a fan of covered the walls, there was a bookshelf full of books, manga, comics, and DVDs, and most of my clothes and spare manga and such were scattered around on the floor, along with a bunch of other crap I'd accumulated over the years. Kaa-san always said it was a typical teenage boy's room. It made no difference to me, though; so long as I knew where everything was, I saw no real reason to clean.

A knock at my door got me groaning. I put the copy of Clive Barker's first Books of Blood volume on my bed and went to answer the door. It was Ise-nii. "'Sup, Broseph?" I asked.

"Uh, hey, Shin," he said awkwardly. It wasn't bad awkward. If anything, he looked excited, it was just that he couldn't find the words to say why at the moment. "Um … there's, uh … something happened and I …"

"Hey, is it just me or are you turning into a bibbling idiot?" I asked.

"It's … it's not just you." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry, man. I'm just … I'm excited. This is big news, man, real big news. I … I got a girlfriend."

I sighed. "Ise-nii, we've been over this. You can't date your right hand, it's just not anatomically possible."

"That's not what I meant, you little shit!" he said. I started laughing. "Okay, yeah, you go ahead and laugh it up. Just know that I got a girlfriend before you did! You hear that, Shin? I have a girlfriend. And the best part? She. Asked. Me."

"Really?" I asked, dropping the joke. "Fair play, bro. Looks like you might finally get your end away. So how'd it go down?"

"It was … kinda weird, actually," Ise-nii admitted. "She just sorta approached me on the way home. I've never seen this girl before, but she's super cute and she knows me. Says she's been interested for a while but just hasn't had the guts to approach until now. Honestly, it's like a dream come true. And no, before you say it, not the wet kind."

"I wasn't gonna say anything," I lied.

"Yeah, sure you weren't. But yeah, that's all I came to tell you. I got a girlfriend and I'm super psyched and I can't wait to rub it in Matsuda and Motohama's faces." He moved to leave, but just before he got the door closed, he paused and blinked at what he saw crawling around on one of my shelves. "When the hell did you get a hamster?"

In an unusual twist, I walked to school ahead of Ise-nii the following morning. He stayed behind so he could meet up with his girlfriend. I figured that was fair enough and went on ahead, but without him there the walk was just dull. I quickly started to miss the back and forth banter we would usually have where I was the one with the most legitimately witty remarks. Not being able to lord my smartassery over him made for a very boring morning, indeed.

"'Sup, fuckfaces?" I greeted as I bumped into Matsuda-san and Motohama-san by the school gates.

"Just waiting on your bro," said Matsuda-san.

… Oh my God, he hasn't told them yet, I realised as a grin grew on my face. This is going to be HILARIOUS. I didn't usually hang out with these two when my brother wasn't around and being seen doing so would no doubt damage my reputation a bit, but being related to Ise-nii already had a lot of girls looking at me with caution and, honestly, a few rumours floating about would be worth seeing the looks on their faces when Ise-nii told them what was up. So … fuck it.

Though as I caught sight of Ise-nii approaching, I very nearly burst out laughing before he could get to us. It was better than I could have hoped for.

He had brought her with him!

I have to admit, I was a bit jealous. Ise-nii had really caught himself a looker. She was an attractive girl with long, silky black hair that flowed all the way down to her hips, and violet eyes. She was from a different school, as evidenced by her uniform, which was made up of a red blazer with a golden P embroidered on the left breast, a white undershirt, a red bow, and a green skirt with a thin white highlight at the bottom. And my God, what a body. Even with that innocently friendly face, that body was build for sin.

Matsuda-san and Motohama-san were looking, too. They clearly saw how hot she was. I could hear the gears turning in their heads as they saw her coming, hand in hand with Ise-nii. And let me tell you, the looks of sheer despair that crossed their faces when the pieces finally fit together in their minds was so much funnier than I had envisioned.

"No …" Motohama-san muttered. "No … It isn't true …"

"This isn't possible …" Matsuda-san murmured.

"Search your feelings," I said, smirking at them. "You know it to be true."

"But … but …"

"Hey, guys," Ise-nii said as he and his girlfriend finally reached us. "I should've figured you'd stick around for this, Shin."

"You know me, bro," I said. "Always eager to partake in the suffering of others."

"I'm glad you're here, anyway. Now I can introduce you all." He gestured to the smoking hot girl next to him. "This is Yuuma Amano, my girlfriend."

Amano-san bowed. "It's nice to meet you all," she said politely.

"And as I told Shin last night," Ise-nii went on, drawing closer to his friends so he could whisper to them, "the best part: She. Asked. Me."

That seemed to be the final straw for the other two, as they crumpled to their knees and started wailing in shock and horror.

"Hey, stop whackin' it and maybe you'll find one, too," Ise-nii encouraged them.

… I've been rubbing off on him, I thought. I didn't know whether to be pleased or disappointed that he was picking up my schtick.

As Ise-nii and Amano-san walked off together, I decided to let Matsuda-san and Motohama-san wallow in self-pity alone. I could get a lot out of making fun of them, but this was just sad. Mocking them at this point would just be bullying needlessly, which I'm not a fan of. So I started walking to my own classroom. I got the usual looks when I walked through the halls. Some were amused, some were annoyed, and a select few were distrusting – not everyone believed I could be completely unlike Ise-nii due to him being the older brother and, therefore, the kind of "bad influence" that would have raised me into a sexual deviant. I ignored the latter two types and shot appreciative grins at those who smiled at me. I always appreciated when others were as entertained by my antics as I was.

See, whereas Ise-nii was infamous around school for his perversions, peeping on girls and the like, I danced to a different beat, though not everyone believed it. I've always put quite a lot of importance on having a sense of humour. No matter what happened, I wanted to keep on laughing and get as many people as possible laughing along with me. That's just who I am – I like to keep people smiling.

I made it to my homeroom and took my usual seat right next to Koneko-chan. I got some jealous glares from boys who were already in the room, but I just put up the peace sign at them and got on with life.

"Morning, Koneko-chan," I said happily. "How's my precious little Snow White this morning?"

"Ha-ha, a crack at my hair, so original of you," she drawled. "I'm doing okay. How are you?"

"I'm super!" I exclaimed. "I just got to witness soul-crushing despair being felt by two idiots. Can you believe my brother has a girlfriend? I can barely believe my brother has a girlfriend. And Matsuda-san and Motohama-san … they just don't want to believe my brother has a girlfriend. It makes them the most fun to watch."

"You should really stop to take a breath every now and then."

"Awww, you do care."

"Just trying to give the janitors less mess to clean up."

"You wound me, Koneko-chan. Truly you do."

Before anything else could be said, the bell rang to signal the start of the school day. All of us stood up to bow to the sensei when he came in, then sat back down again.

"Okay, class," he said, "before we get started, there's been a report from one of the other classrooms that their class pet has gone missing. God only knows what high schoolers are doing with a class pet, but whatever. It's a hamster. Be on the lookout."

I could feel Koneko-chan's eyes burning into the side of my head for the rest of the morning. It took all the willpower I had not to burst out laughing.

A few days past and the end of the week arrived. I was growing increasingly pleased with Ise-nii's good mood. Seeing him so happy made me happy. Ise-nii's happiness wasn't the only thing that had me in a good mood, either. This little hamster was growing on me. I was in the process of feeding the fluffy little guy, very nearly considering keeping him, when someone knocked on my door. I went to answer it and Ise-nii was standing there with a dopey grin on his face.

"I've got a date," he said excitedly. "Yuuma-chan and I are going out on Sunday."

"Nice one, bro," I said, slapping him a high five. "Enjoy yourself. And make sure you show that woman a good time, ya hear? All women are queens – remember that."

"Yeah, yeah, I got ya," he said. "Just figured I'd share the news with someone, so you can go back to … whatever it is you do in here. Frankly, considering the shit you're willing to do in public, I'm not sure I even wanna know what you require privacy for."

"Good. 'Cause if I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"Whatevs. Night, bro."

"G'night," I said as I closed the door. Then I went and sat on my bed and got my phone. A golden opportunity had been presented to me, and I would be damned if I was going to waste it. I dialled the number I had somehow managed to coerce out of Koneko-chan near the start of the year and waited.

"What?" she asked when she picked up.

"Rhetorical question that I think you can already guess isn't rhetorical," I said. "How would you feel about accompanying me into town on Sunday with the purpose of spying on my brother and his girlfriend to see if he really knows how to treat a lady on a date? Plus, if I let slip details about his date to him in conversation that I shouldn't know, it'll freak him out and that'll be hilarious."

"…" She was quiet for long enough that I almost asked if she was okay. "I'll have to get back to you on that." Then she hung up.

I took the phone away from my ear and looked down on it in confusion and a little worry. That … didn't sound like a good sign.

Third Person POV

Koneko stared down at her phone for a good few minutes after hanging up, wondering what the actual odds of this situation occurring were. They couldn't be particularly high because this was the mother of all coincidences as far as she was concerned.

"Buchou," she said, addressing Rias Gremory.

"Yes, Koneko?" Rias responded.

"That call I got just now was from Issei Hyoudou's little brother."

"Ah, yes, 'Shin-kun.'" Rias said teasingly. Normally, this was the sort of thing Akeno would be doing, but Rias could indulge herself every now and then. Especially since opportunities to make Koneko blush had been so rare until she'd met that boy in the first year. "What was it about?"

"He asked me if I want to spy on his brother's date with him on Sunday."

Rias was gobsmacked. "That … is an amazing coincidence," she remarked. "An opportunity to follow Issei Hyoudou by spending time with his brother … Honestly, the odds of this are amazing."

"So, should I say yes?"

"Yes. Though make sure to keep your distance, we don't want the Fallen Angel catching on. And it if looks like she's going to make a move … get out of there. We can't interfere over a human, it would just risk too much hostility."

"Of course, Buchou." Koneko took her phone out and redialled Shintaro's number. He must have still had it on hand from when she hung up, because he answered in barely a second.

"Hello?" he said. There was a tinge of nervousness to his voice that she wasn't very familiar with.

"Hi," she said. "Sure, I'll go with you. I just had to check something first, was all."

"Wait, really?" There was relief in his voice now. "That's great! So, I'll meet you in town on Sunday. Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds good. See you then."

"Bye, Koneko-chan!"

He hung up that time, and now it was Koneko staring down at her phone with mixed feelings. He sounded so excited to be spending time with her outside of school, and not just over following his brother and that Fallen Angel around. The joy in his voice was making her feel really bad about using his invitation like this. Maybe Rias and the others were right, maybe she really was closer to that idiot than she was letting on …

First Person POV – Shintaro Hyoudou

I made sure to keep out of Ise-nii's sight as I followed him into town on Sunday. I waited five or so minutes after he left the house to go after him. I had caught sight of him a couple of times, but always made sure I was keeping enough distance and never showed myself if he was facing my direction for whatever reason. I had dressed in some casual clothes: a dark khaki shirt, a snow-coloured jacket, firebrick trousers, and blanched almond shoes. I may have, admittedly, gone a bit overboard with my appearance considering what today's objective was, but I was hanging out with Koneko-chan outside of school, so I wanted to look nice.

I got to the middle of town and Ise-nii stopped, so I did, too. I once again made sure to keep out of sight. I settled down in a nearby cafe, which was also where Koneko-chan and I had agreed to meet up, so it worked out well, really.

After about ten minutes, I realised just how early for his date Ise-nii must have arrived. That was a good start. Better to be ten minutes early than five minutes later, that's what I always say, especially when it comes to meeting a lady. There was this funky-looking lady with bat wings in her hair handing out slips of paper or something outside, and Ise-nii got given one, but other than that, not much interesting happened until Koneko-chan showed up.

Koneko-chan didn't announce herself when she turned up, merely sitting down across from me. She looked very pretty in a gold V-neck T-shirt, a thigh-length dark magenta skirt, a pair of light salmon stockings with cat paw patterns on them, and a pair of floral white shoes. "Hi," she greeted me as she sat down.

"Morning, Koneko-chan," I said. "You look nice."

For the briefest of moments, I thought I saw pink tinge her cheeks. "Thanks," she said.

"I've ordered us some ice cream," I said. "Looks like Ise-nii arrived early, and I know you have a sweet tooth, so I figured I'd treat you."

"You didn't have to do that."

"Don't worry about it. Think of it as thanks for joining me on this little espionage mission." Just then, the waitress arrived and put our bowls of ice cream down on the table. We ate in relative silence. Koneko-chan finished hers before me – I wasn't joking about her having a sweet tooth. When we first met, I would sometimes bribe her with sweets to keep her from calling me out on some of my more elaborate jokes, but she'd since mellowed to me … I think, anyway. I no longer had to bribe her to get her to keep my schemes a secret, so there was some progress, at least.

Amano-san turned up pretty soon after that, and the mission began. Following Ise-nii and Amano-san through town was a lot more chaotic than I'd been expecting, what with people and particularly other people from school buzzing around all over the place, but we managed to keep pace. The awkward parts were when they stopped in a store and we had to go into one to look inconspicuous. I bought Koneko-chan a pink cap with cat ears on it in one of them, figuring she'd like it because of those clips she usually had in her hair. She seemed to appreciate it, but it was always kind of hard to tell with her.

We nearly lost sight of them when we stopped to do that. To tell you the truth, following Ise-nii and Amano-san seemed less and less important as the day went on. It became incredibly apparent that I didn't care about following them as much as I thought I did when we had to stop while the happy couple stopped in the cafe we were in that morning to get ice cream, and Koneko-chan and I had to stop in a small arcade across the street for some cover. I got so invested in talking to Koneko-chan and playing some of the games near the front of the building with her that she had to actively tell me when Ise-nii and Amano-san were leaving. I was getting very wrapped up in just spending the day with Koneko-chan.

As the sun started to go down and people started to clear the streets, I felt disappointed. The day would be ending soon. Amano-san was leading Ise-nii to the park, which, as we got closer, seemed to be deserted. That got me excited again. I was about to see my big brother get to first base.

"It's getting late," Koneko-chan said as we hid in the bushes and watched the two of them walking from behind the treeline. "We should really leave them to their privacy at this point."

"But it's just getting to the good part," I mock-whined. Part of me knew she was right, but somehow … I don't know, I guess I just felt compelled to stay and see this out.

"I'll admit that your pervert brother managed the date without being disgusting. Don't you think he's earned some alone time?"

Compliments? I thought in surprise. Wow, she is really adamant about this. "If you wanna leave, I won't be offended," I said. It was true, though I would have been disappointed to see her go like this. After such a great day, it seemed wrong. "I had fun with you today, Koneko-chan. Maybe we can hang out together again in the future? Without tailing my brother, obviously. It'd be awkward if this became our regular activity."

She sighed. "Okay." Her voice was quieter than usual, and I detected a hint of emotion, which was also unusual. "See you in school." As she walked away, I could have sworn I heard her mutter "… I'm sorry, Shin-kun …" in an uncharacteristically emotional voice, which is why I was sure I had imagined it.

I turned my attention back to Ise-nii and Amano-san.

It looked like it was going well. Amano-san was speaking, but I couldn't hear her, and walking towards Ise-nii more with every single word until she was right in front of him. She leaned in, I thought for the kiss, but whispered something in his ear. To my confusion, Ise-nii took a step back and said something else. That was when Amano-san sprouted giant feathered black wings from her back and all of her clothes ripped off, soon being replaced by an outfit made of those black feathers that looked more like black leather. It covered basically nothing but her breasts and crotch, and despite my shock and the ice cold feel of the blood in my veins, I felt a sudden stiffness coming on down below.

I was still frozen in shock when the light gathered in Amano-san's hand and took shape, forming a long, sharp object that looked like some kind of spear. She spoke some more, but I was still out of earshot, and then raised her arm and threw the spear of light. It hit Ise-nii right in the stomach. Everything stilled for a moment … then the spear vanished and blood started to fountain out of Ise-nii's stomach and he fell to the ground, yelling in pain, which I unfortunately was able to hear. The blood-curdling, pain-filled screams of my brother finally snapped me out of whatever shock had frozen me to begin with.

And where before I felt fear, now I felt nothing but rage.

"Bitch," I hissed under my breath, getting up from the ground without really thinking about it. "Bitch!" I said again, this time as a shout. I took off running at Amano-san, my body reacting before my brain had a chance to catch up. "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, BITCH!"

She turned with a startled look on her face. A spear formed in her hand once again, and before I knew about it, it was impaled in my chest. The wound burned fiercely, like someone was lighting my blood on fire within my veins, and I collapsed to the floor instantly, unable to stop the scream of pain from ripping its way out of my throat. Amano-san stared down at me with wide eyes for a few seconds and then took to the skies, leaving large black feathers behind as she flew off. One of them landed next to me.

I turned my head and tried to face Ise-nii, who was looking at me with wide eyes that were quickly draining of life. My own vision was fading, as well. A bright light shone from somewhere nearby, but I didn't have the strength to turn my head and find the source.

As I lost my vision entirely, somebody came into view … and was that Koneko-chan standing behind them?

Third Person POV

Raynare flew for five minutes, breathing heavily the entire time, then landed not far from the church she and the others were using as a base. She stood there in silence for a couple of minutes, letting the racing of her heart die down, then began to curse. "Shit," she said. "Shit, shit, shit. That wasn't supposed to happen, that wasn't part of the plan … Oh, God, he's gonna kill me …"

Rated M for swearing, violence, sex, and all that good stuff.

This rewrite has been a long time coming. There's one rather persistent reviewer of my stuff who I'm sure will be glad I finally decided to "update the DxD story," though I doubt this is exactly what you had in mind. Oh well. Hopefully, this still gives you enough of an incentive to stop posting that same review on literally everything I upload.

I'm not overly annoyed by it, I swear.

Shintaro Hyoudou was pretty bland the first time around, I felt. Pretty much just the average "pervert who keeps it on the inside and acts smarter than Issei" stuff that makes up most of the OCs in this category. Here, I decided to make him more of a jokester/prankster type, and while the perversion of his predecessor is still present, here it makes itself known more in the form of inappropriately dirty humour. There is an in-story reason for this personality that will be elaborated on later. I also tried harder to actually show the friendship he shares with Koneko rather than just saying he has one, which is pretty much what I did in the original version.

Also, I'm going to take down the original version 24 hours after posting this. It may not be a popular way of doing things, but I see no point of leaving stuff up if I'm not going to do anything with it. It's just kind of an eyesore on my profile page at that point.

I will be leaving a harem list down here, but not the whole thing. I have decided on the whole thing, but I decided that I'll be adding people to it as they show up in-story in an attempt to make things more interesting, rather than revealing it all at once. Even then, some of the more surprising ones will be kept off until the moment it becomes clear they're going in – sorry about that, I just feel like it could spoil certain plotpoints if I reveal everything down in the author's note. Of the characters presented, we have:

Shintaro: Koneko Toujou,

Issei: Rias Gremory, Raynare,

That's all for now, Constant Readers. See you next time!