I keep telling you people that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or GI Joe characters. I've been telling you this for how many fics now? Well here comes another one. This time I thought I'd play around with the Kitty-Lance-Peter love triangle. Will it ever get resolved? Don't get your hopes up!

All's Fair in Love and War

Chapter 1: The Duel Begins

"Why Lance bang head?" Claudius asked Todd.

"Trust me kid," Todd sighed. "You're better off not knowing. At least until you get older."

Lance was currently pounding his head against the wall. "I can't stand it! I can't stand it!"

"What's wrong with him?" Shipwreck walked in.

"He can't stand it," Todd remarked.

"It's Kitty," Lance stopped and groaned. "I just found out she went on a date with Colossus last night!"

"Lance they went to the Dairy Queen," Todd told him. "With all the other X-Geeks. Hardly a romantic evening to worry about."

"But they were together and I didn't know about it!" Lance moaned. "How much you wanna bet those losers set it up so they'd have some alone time?"

"How did you find out?" Shipwreck asked.

"Simple," Althea walked in the room. "Jamie told my sisters, my sisters told me and I told Lance."

"Oh," Shipwreck nodded. "Now what's the story here? I thought the two of you were exclusive or something?"

"Not exactly," Lance sat down dejectedly in a seat. "She says she's not really sure and she's too young to be tied down right now."

"And you fell for that?" Althea looked at him.

"In other words Kitty is stringing the both of them along," Todd said as he put Claudius in his playpen. "She's got a real good case of Jean-itis!"

"It's hopeless," Lance groaned. "If I issue an ultimatum I'll lose her! And if I sit back and do nothing I'll lose her!"

"And that's a bad thing?" Todd asked.

"Listen kid," Shipwreck said. "I'm gonna give you some advice, nobody got the girl by backing down and running away! You want Kitty? Then you gotta lick the other guy where he licked you, it her arms!"

"But how?" Lance asked.

"By doing whatever it takes to show her that you're the man for her," Shipwreck said. "Got it?"

"Whatever it takes?" Lance looked at him.

"Whatever it takes," Shipwreck nodded.

"I don't like the sound of this," Todd gulped.

"You're right!" Lance stood up with a determined look in his eyes. "I can't back down! I have to win Kitty's love no matter what!"

"That's the spirit kid!" Shipwreck slapped him on his back. "And with my help that girl will fall for you like a ton of bricks!"

"The only bricks around here are in your head!" Althea snapped. "Pop you can't even get yourself a girl! Now you're gonna advice Lance of all people? You gotta be kidding me!"

"No Shipwreck's right!" Lance said. "It's time I put an end to this game once and for all! All my life I've had to fight while everyone else had it easy! When everyone else had loving parents and a good home, I had to survive the worst people in the world in slums! But I'm through! I'm not gonna let the best thing in my life go without a fight!"

"Lance I don't like that look in your eyes," Todd gulped. "Whenever you look like that trouble happens."

"Oh there's gonna be trouble all right!" Lance said. "Trouble for a certain metal moron! Look out Colossus! Here I come!" He ran upstairs past Roadblock and Fred.

"Dad what did you do that for?" Althea asked.

"What is going on?" Roadblock asked.

"Why is Lance looking even more deranged than usual?" Fred asked.

"Lance has just taken relationship advice from my father," Althea sighed. "Is it just me or is there a feeling of doom in the air?"

"Oh yeah," Roadblock sighed. "That's just not any feeling of gloom, that's doom!"

"We're all headed for trouble aren't we?" Todd sighed.

"That we are good buddy," Fred shook his head. "That we are."

************************************************************************

Later that day at the X-Mansion…

"I can't stand it!" Peter moaned as he paced back and forth. He changed into his armored form and punched the wall. "I can't stand it!"

"Hey take it easy on the wall there," Remy put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry," Peter changed back. "I'm a little upset."

"I kind of figured that," Remy smirked. "Wanna talk about it?"

"It's Kitty," Peter moaned as he sat down in a chair.

"What about Kitty?" Remy asked. "Didn't you two have a good time last night?"

"Da," Colossus nodded. "However not twenty minutes ago Kitty gets this love letter via e-mail from Avalanche!"

"Oh," Remy nodded. "I see your problem."

"Why is it every time I think I have finally won her heart that…that…reckless rock head ruins everything?" Peter burst out, exasperated. "I don't know what to do!"

"Look Colossus," Remy said. "You want Kitty for yourself? Right?" Peter nodded. "Well then you gotta find a way to prove to her that you're the man for her once and for all."

"But how do I do that?"

"You woo her homme," Remy grinned.

"Woo? What is woo?"

"You court her," Remy explained. "Win her heart! Do whatever it takes to get the girl! And no matter what don't give up! Be persistent! It worked for me."

"What worked for you?" Rogue asked as she and Amara entered the room.

"You really think I can win?" Peter asked.

"Trust me," Remy grinned. "Just do what I say and Kitty will be yours."

"What kind of baloney are you feeding him?" Rogue asked.

"It's time that Peter stood up and acted like a man!" Remy said. "It's way past time that he settle this thing with Avalanche once and for all!"

"I will do it!" Peter stood up. "I will win Kitty's heart no matter what it takes!"

"Remy what have you done?" Rogue asked.

"All my life I have felt an empty void," Peter made a fist. "But starting today that void will be filled! I will win Kitty's heart or die trying!"

"I don't think you should go that far," Amara grimaced.

"CHARGE!" Peter ran off to his room.

"Remy I just got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach," Rogue said.

"Don't worry chere," Remy smiled. "Gambit knows what he's doing."

"I doubt it," Rogue rolled her eyes.

"It's gonna be another one of those long weeks isn't it?" Amara groaned.

Next: The battle for Kitty's heart begins! Again…