Luna Kong Unedited Upecial Extended edition

From my DeviantArt page. Warning this story is rated SM for Stupidly Moronic. Well don't say I didn't warn you.

(Opens up next to a steamer sitting on the end of a dock in a fog shrouded harbor. It is night time and in an undisclosed time period. Out in the street a driver nearly hits a pedestrian.)

Random pedestrian: Hello! Don't hit me!

Random driver: (angry) Why do you even exist!?

Random pedestrian: (terrified) Holy Moly!

(The pedestrian runs away from the driver in fear. The driver continues on their way. From the shadows of off-screen Sam appears. She's dressed in a simple but still nice dress with her jacket around her shoulders and the blue streak in her hair. She holds a newspaper and looks worriedly at her surroundings, not liking them one bit. Sam walks down the dock towards the steamer. Principal Huggins and Coach Pacowski stand around at the end. Huggins, dressed like he's on safari complete with binoculars around his neck and a safari hat, scowls at nothing in particular. Pacowski wears a yellow sailors outfit with a old fashioned film camera strapped to his back. Both men look up as Sam comes to a stop before them and introduces herself.)

Sam: My name is Sam Sharp. I'm here about your ad. (reads newspaper) Wanted single female for mysterious expedition. Must be into both men and women, and not be afraid to be put in the middle of randomness, non-smoker preferred.

Huggins: (examines her) Hmm, well you'd certainly be a welcome change of pace from the rest of these crude and uncouth sailors!

(This last bit Huggins says almost fearfully as he glanced behind him. Hank and Hawk are shown wearing sailor outfits and repeatedly saying "Arrgh" back and forth.)

Huggins: (to Pacowski) What do you think, Pacowski?

Pacowski: (frowns) I think I deserve a raise for wearing this ridiculous outfit.

Huggins: (waves him off) Yeah, yeah we all know what you think, Pacowski, I need money to move out of my mom's boat. (to Sam) Young lady, your hired. (underbreath) Yes, it's all gonna go according to plan.

(Huggins then bursts out into a fit of manaical laughter. Sam frowns unsure and a little frightened. Pacowski's frown deepens.)

Pacowski: (ponders) Wonder if it's not too late for me to fall back on my second career choice… an elementary school gym teacher, just like Mom wanted me to..either that or a professional Irish river dancer.

(Huggins finishes his bout of manaical laughter and proceeds to lead the other two up the Steamers ramp up to the ships wheel house. Inside Bobby, dressed in a Captains outfit and looking lost, stands in front of the wheel talking on his phone.)

Bobby: (annoyed) Yeah, yeah! Well I'm looking at the controls and I don't see what your talking about….maybe if I look at owners manual? What do you mean you don't make owners manuals?! That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Almost as worse then when Big Time Rush wasn't getting a fifth season! (notices the others) Oh, my passengers are here, I'm gonna have to call you back. Yeah…yeah… of course I'll call you when we get there. Ok..love you too Mom, say hi to Ronnie Anne for me…ok..bye. (hangs up)

Huggins: (grins untrustworthy) You can take us out now Captain Bobby. We have everything we need for the expedition to get underway.

Bobby: You finally gonna tell me what this expedition of yours is all about? I think that as captain I should at least know where we're heading. Especially since you somehow convinced me to wait until after the expedition is complete.

Huggins: (no big deal) Oh, you needed not worry your head about that. The scenes shifts every now and again, so we really don't have to much of anything until the action begins.

Bobby: (relieved) Oh, thank goodness! That's a load off! Cause I DON'T have the foggiest idea how to drive a ship!

Pacowski: (sarcastic) Well that just instills me with confidence at the odds of our chances of survival.

Huggins: Silence Pacowski! Now Captain Bobby would you kindly show our newest passenger to her quarters?

Bobby: Sure. (leans towards intercom) Anyone who knows how to drive a ship please come to the wheel house.

(While the Steamer set out on the start of the expedition, Bobby leads Sam down some stairs towards the sleeping quarters below.)

…

(a few days later.)

(The steamer is out at sea. Sam is above deck, relaxing in a lounge chair reading Jurassic Park while wearing a old timey one piece bathing suit. Around her several crew members played by background characters manage the ship. Above five familiar faces lounge on a smokestacks ladder, observing the efforts below. These five are Clyde, Liam, Rusty, Zach and Stella wearing crewmen outfits, like white shirts, black beanies and grey pants.)

Clyde: (from top of the ladder) Hey guys, I overheard Huggins last night. Says we're going to Loud island!

Liam: Yeah, I heard that too! Guy was laughing like crazy! Boy I sure wish we was going to Candy apple island instead !

Stella: (at the bottom) Candy apple island? What do they got there?

Clyde: Louds, their just not as big.

(The ship arrives at the island. A birds eye view shows that the island is in the shape of a grinning Lincoln's face. It's terrain was composed mainly of thick jungles and craggy mountains. The sky over head seemed permanently grey and stormy. From the island itself came the calls of various creatures and tribal drums and several overlapping voices chanting in unison. One word over and over. Lu-na! Lu-na! Lu-na!)

(On the bow of the ship, Bobby gazes at the island and licks a lemon-lime snow-cone he is holding before turning to Huggins whose nose is buried in a map.)

Bobby: Hey whose this Luna person I'm hearing these dudes chanting about?

Huggins: (looks up from his map) Well, I shouldn't tell you but your kinda my ride so fine. She's either a fifty foot tall prehistoric giant human,….or an elaborate tourist trap concocted by the Loud island JC'S… It will all be revealed, we're going ashore.

(Sam appears behind them. Her curiosity peeked at their conversation, she didn't like the look of things. Call her crazy but Sam didn't think that mysterious island was somewhere they should be.)

Sam: Am I going too?

(The two men turn to her.)

Huggins: (laughs heartily) Well of course you're coming! That's the only reason you're here! We can't do this without the bait!

(This choice of words isn't lost on the other two.)

Sam: (frowns suspiciously) Uhhh, did you just call me bait?

Bobby: (licks snow-cone) Yeah, I heard bait too.

(Realizing his error, Huggins elaborated.)

Huggins: That is the bait…bait-thing beuaty…the bathing beuaty! (he chuckled) I covered that up pretty well.

(Bobby and Sam continue to stare at him.)

Bobby: (licks snow-cone) You know, the more you talk…(licks snow-cone) the less I find myself trusting you.

Huggins: (not surprised) I get that a lot.

(Shrugging it off,Sam and Huggins leave to go prepare for shore leave. Bobby turns back to observe the island, licking his snow-cone.)

Bobby: I should get ready too,…after I finish my snow-cone. (licks snow-cone) That is one damn good snow-cone.

(At that moment, Paula carrying a mop and bucket while leaning on her crutch, walks by and notices the treat.)

Paula: Hey, how come the rest of the crew didn't get snow-cones? We like snow-cones too.

Bobby: (grows nervous) Uhh, well…you see…(feigns shock) LOOK OUT! IT'S GODZILLA!

(Bobby's ruse works. Paula looks around frantically trying to spot the famous Kaiju. Bobby makes his escape, running to the Captains quarters and scarfing down the rest of the snow-cone. Bobby reaches the quarters and clutches his head.)

Bobby: (pained) Ow! Brain freeze, can't break their hearts and say I only had enough to afford one snow-cone.

(Later on the island. Bobby is in the front of the crew, slicing through some thick vegetation with his machete. The crew behind him is composed of Clyde, Liam, Rusty, Zach and Stella, Sully and Mazzy, among others. Bringing up the rear was Huggins, Pacowski and Sam, now wearing a pair of cargo shorts and a t-shirt.)

Clyde: (worried) Man this island gives me a bad feeling.

Rusty: What makes you say that? Is it just because a Plesiosaur snatched one of use out of the boat on the ground here?

Clyde: That and don't you remember what happened after that?

(Flashback.)

(Three life boats are making their way to the island. The crew along with supplies are situated within. Suddenly a large Plesiosaur rose out of the sea and roars at them. Everyone stares as the sea reptile snatches a sailor , who resembles Chandler, in its needle teethed jaws and submerges taking the unfortunate doomed sailor with it. Sam screams very loud upon seeing this. From the island came a thundering Roar, that scared the birds out of the trees.)

Bobby: (awed) What in God's name was that?!

(Unseen, Huggins grins evilly. Flashback ends.)

Zach: Nope, already forgotten about that.

Clyde: (facepalms)

(Up ahead, Bobby cuts through some vines, revealing a gigantic walled village. Several villagers are outside dancing and chanting in unison. Lu-na! Lu-na! Lu-na! Lu-na! Lu-na! Lu-na! Lu-na! Lu-na! Lu-na!)

(Quickly the crew hide in some nearby vegetation and watch. The Chief of the tribe who looks like Sue, sits in a throne presiding over the dance. She happens to glance over and does a double take when she immediately spots Sam's blue streaked hair visible in the bushes along with Huggins whispering.)

Chief: Huh?

Huggins: (whispering loudly) Just try to remain inconspicuous. (peeks out)

(With the villagers, the dancing and chanting cease as Sue calls their attention and directs them with her staff and speaks in their native language. Subtitles appear at the bottom of the screen.)

Chief: Oo Tini! (That blonde haired girl with the streak in her hair will make a rocking sacrifice! Grab her Nimrods!)

(Huggins withdraws back into the bushes. Sam turns to face him.)

Sam: What'd she say?

Huggins: (hesitates only a second before lying) Uhh, She says that they would never dream of sacrificing the blonde haired girl with the streak in her hair.

(Sam buys the lie.)

Sam: Well that's cool of them. It'd be rude if they-AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!

(Sam screams in surprise as Villagers suddenly grab her and drag her off screen. Shocking everyone except Huggins who simply chuckles.)

Pacowski: (confused) How'd the know they were talking about sacrificing?

Huggins: Huh? Oh, I just read the subtitles.

(Soon on the opposite side of the village, two tribesman exit dragging Sam out and over to a sacrificial platform and start tying her up with vines. Sam is now barefoot and dressed in a long skirt and what could only be descriped as a primitive crop-top.)

Sam: You pervs are enjoying this way to much.

(The tribesman shrug and give the signal for the ritual to begin. The other villagers on the wall begin beating on drums and chanting.)

Villagers: Lu-na! Lu-na! Lu-na!

(Sam thrashes and screams trying to free herself from the bounds. Her screams travel over the island. In a far corner, sitting on a rock and tuning a giant prehistoric guitar is a giant prehistoric version of Luna. She's dressed in a primitive version of her usual attire. She hums to herself and taps her foot as she tunes her instrument. In the Village alongside the drums and chanting, the villagers ring a gong.)

Luna: (translated growl) Hope Linc listened to me when I said stay outta the deep jungles…those dino's are too big for him. (hears the gong and lifts her head.) huh, sacrifice time already?...(considers)… Guess I could go for a snack.

(Unfortunately her distraction causes her to accidentally tighten the guitar strings too tight. One snaps and whips across her cheek. Her face grows red with rage and she grinds her teeth before issuing a roar.)

Luna: (roars) BLIMEY!

(The BLIMEY echos all across the island.)

(Back with Sam.)

Sam: (confused) Was that a guitar string?

(The roar of Blimey makes Sam shake with fear. She starts to thrash and whimper as Luna soon appears from the jungle, pushing aside the trees like they were nothing but tall grass and gazes at the offering below her. She is taken aback.)

Luna: (gulps) Damn…this offering is kinda cute!...Too cute to eat…Ok don't blow this Luna! She's freaked out, gotta calm her down.. go for the Big Friendly Giant approach…give her a smile.

(Luna gives what she hopes is a dashing, friendly smile. Sam takes one look at the giant sized teeth as large as a smallish tire, in a mouth big enough to swallow her and panics even more. Instantly Luna covers her mouth.)

Luna: Teeth! Teeth! Your scared of my teeth! Guess they do look pretty big and bone crunching from down there don't they? Don't worry, see teeth are gone… Will you please stop screaming! I'm trying to explain!

(All Sam can hear is a series of growls and grunts. She stuggle and screams even more. Luna reaches for her.)

(Somehow up on the wall , Huggins and Pacowski stand and watch the scene unfold.)

Huggins: (excited) Pacowski! This is a golden opportunity! If we can get her alive, we can put her on Royal Woods Broadway! Dead, and we'll sell her to a museum, it's a win-win!

(Also on the wall, Clyde, Liam, Rusty, Zach and Stella watch and shake their heads with Rusty leaning towards the others to whisper.)

Rusty: 5 bucks says he dies next.

(The other four nod shake their hands, sealing the deal. Below Luna had removed the ropes from Sam's wrists and was now holding her in her fist, running her giant finger over her head seeming fascinated with the streak. Indigent at this lack of respect for boundaries. Sam smacks at the giant Loud's finger and warned.)

Sam: (firm) Hey! I don't care how big you are! Keep your hands to yourself!

Luna: (smirks) Ohhh feisty!

(Luna then sniffs at Sam. Liking the sacrifice's scent Luna conveys her interest with a suggestive growl complete with a eyebrow wiggle. For some reason Sam finds this kinda flattering and blushes while suppressing a giggle.)

Luna: (smiles) Your cute when you giggle. Come on! Your coming with me.

(Luna turns and stomps back into the jungle, taking Sam will her.)

…

(Luna strolls through the jungle carrying Sam in her fist. Luna growls a conversation to her. Sam trembles at the deep noise, unaware what Luna's actually saying.)

Sam: (In her head, terrified) She's gonna eat me! She's gonna eat me! I'm too young to be lunch!

Luna: …And wait until you meet my baby bro Lincoln. Your gonna love him, he's only thirty feet tall, he's still growing. FYI don't go anywhere without me, otherwise your gonna get ate by all the predators on this island , and I know we just met, but I already like you too much for that.

(Luna stops in a large clearing. She looks around and frowns , unsure.)

Luna: (thinking) Don't know why….but I gotta funny feeling I should move that fallen tree over the chasm….Something in my gut tells me I should.

(Luna walks over to a tree and sets Sam carefully down in it.)

Luna: Stay! I'll be right back.

(Sam didn't understand what Luna was saying, but the authoritive growl and pointing at her gave here a pretty good idea of what she said, Stay! Sam nervously nods. Satisfied Luna turns and goes back the way they came. As soon as she's out of earshot, Sam frantically looks for a way down.)

Sam: (irritated) Seriously! Of course she put me in the tree without branches I could climb!

(Sam flinches at the sound of approaching footsteps like dull thunder, fearing Luna's return and that her attempting to escape would land her a one way ticket to the Louds stomach, Sam turns towards the noise and smiles innocently.)

Sam: (hastily) I wasn't trying to make a get away! I was just…..wait a minute…?

(Sam falters when she sees it isn't Luna staring at her, but instead a very large Theropod with greenish red-brown skin and a row of small spines down it's back and a mouthful of long razor sharp teeth, staring at her with primal hunger. Though Sam didn't know this, she was staring at a Carcharodontosaurus Maximus, the top carnivorous dino on the island.)

Sam: (horrified) Oh Sh-

(The dinosaur roars and lunges. Sam screams, which echoes throughout the island.)

(With Luna, she had arrived at the chasm she had the gut feeling about. Spanning across was a fallen moss and fungi covered tree. Luna sniffs the air suspicious.)

Luna: (thoughtful) Yep, I definitely smell little people….But the villagers know better than to follow me?...(she shrugs) It's probably nothing…just remove the tree…go back.. collect the cute little sacrifice….. and go home.

(Decided, Luna starts lifting the tree to throw it into the drop below. Not moment later the roar of a predator sounds.)

Luna: Huh, one of those dino's I warned Linc about…(a scream follows the roar. Luna goes rigid) ….Wait…. that's my Sacrifice!

(Fuming at the thought of a carnivore taking her sacrifice, Luna drops the log and charges back towards where she left Sam. No sooner does she leave, that Huggins, Pacowski and Bobby poke their heads out of the underbrush on the opposite side of the chasm.)

Huggins: (surprised) Huh, what a fortuitous turn of events. (to the others) Well! What are you lazy bums doing just standing around for!? After her! Before she gets away! Come on, Slobs what am I paying you for!?

Bobby: (scowling) You HAVEN'T paid us yet. That's the problem!

Huggins: (waves them off) A technicality. (Huggins sprints across the log after the giant. Bobby turns to the others.)

Bobby: (sighs) Come on let's go.

Zach: (irritated) Starting to think, He's the villain here.

Clyde: (exasperated) Well it's about time some else did! I mean the wackos been dropping hints like crazy! The incessant hand wringing! The talking to himself in that plotting voice! Let's not forget the spontaneous fits of manaical laughter!

Stella: Am I the only one who thinks this story is moving too fast?

Bobby: No. But I mean we only got like..a thirty to forty five minutes window in the TV spot time, minus commercial interruption… so yeah…Well maybe an hour.

(The crew follow after Huggins.)

(In the tree Luna had left her in. Sam runs frantically every which way as well as she can to avoid the Dino's snapping jaws.)

Sam: Crap! Crap! Oh crap! Damn!

(This last bit happens as Sam loses her balance and tumbles off the branch, luckily she manages to catch herself before she plummets, unlucky, this helpless position leaves her a prime target for the carnivore. Sensing victory the Carcharodontosaurus lowers it head to her level. Sam's only hope is the bite is quick. Heavy crashing coming their way makes both predator and prey look as Luna comes leaping out of the jungle to tackle the dinosaur.)

Luna: (roars) Back off, Reptile dude! She's mine!

(The dinosaur is knocked to the ground. Sam loses her grip and plummets, screaming. Luna reacts in a lightning move and successfully catches her in her fist. The dino attempts to retaliate and snap Sam up. Luna seizes it around the neck and with a surprising level of strength, complete flips the carnivore over her head . Knowing she needed both hands for this fight, Luna sets Sam safely back on the tree. Before turning to square off against the dinosaur. Shaken, Sam leans against the tree to watch.)

Sam: Good gravy!

(The Titans of the Mammal and Reptile geneses clash. Luna punches it twice in the face. The carnivore responds by snapping, it's teeth finds Luna's shoulder, flesh is torn as the dino shakes its head. Luna grimaces but uses the pain to make her her next attacks all the stronger. In fact Luna bit it back, sinking her own teeth into the predators neck. Back in her tree, Sam turns to the audience as the two roll on the ground, snapping and punching and kicking.)

Sam: Don't know if I should be rooting for a winner, cause I'm fairly certain that whoever wins is gonna eat me.

(From their spots in the undergrowth, Huggins, Pacowski and the crewmen watch the battle as well.)

Mazzy: Oh snap that's gonna leave a mark!

Sully: (wistful) This is better than cable! Man we should've brought some popcorn! Starbursts! Something!

(Rusty pulls out two buckets of popcorn.)

Rusty: (offers) Movie theatre or regular?

(Sully takes the movie theater and they continue to watch as the battle escalated to the climax. Luna forced the Dino to the forest floor, and sat atop it , prying the jaws apart. The dino struggles and breaks her grip. Luna delivers another punch in the eye, stunning it. Luna seizes its jaws again and continues to pull, while the dino squirms. A few more pounds of pressure and the jaws separate will the carnivore squealing in agony. Luna finishes will a vicious twist, there's a sickening SNAP as bones give way. The dinos head sinks to the ground and the whole creature goes limp.)

(Luna messes with the Dino's jaws just to be sure. The Carcharodontosaurus Maximus doesn't respond. It lies dead.)

Luna: (stands up and roars victorious) Oh Yeah! Whose bad! Rock and Roll!

(Sam watches as Luna gloats. Meanwhile Huggins explains his plan to the crew, after witnessing the big Dino battle everyone's gonna come to see. As Huggins finishes, Bobby immediately voices his disproval.)

Bobby: So let me get this straight? You want us to run up to the the fifty foot tall prehistoric giant…that we just watched kill a DINOSAUR with her bare hands! ..Run up within grabbing distance and shoot at her!?

Huggins: Yeah, that's the plan.

Clyde: (agast) You're a Crazy Man!

(Huggins slaps him.)

Huggins: Crazy?! What have you the impression I was sane!? Besides we have to move this special along. (taps his watch)

(Everyone else checks their own watchs and sighs realizing he was right.

(A torn and bleeding Luna trudges over to Sam and collects her from the tree.)

Luna: (growling) See little dudette? Your safe with me.

(Sam just trembles, not speaking. Suddenly from out of the vegetation, Bobby and the rest of the crew charge out wielding firearms and pushing cannons. Pacowski follows carrying Huggins on his back for some reason.)

Huggins: Now remember, we don't want to kill her! Shoot her around the groin and belly!

(The Crewmen open fire on the giant Loud. Luna remains stoic as the bullets have almost no effect. However she soon frowns as the barrage becomes a nuisance.)

Luna: (annoyed) Dudes. Cut that out, brah! It's annoying!

(The crew pay no heed, mostly because they can't understand her. Luna's frown deepens.)

Luna: (increasingly angry) What! Did I stutter!? Am I talking to myself! Seriously stop it!

(More bullets.)

Luna: (warningly) Ok Dudes, final warning! If I were you I would knock it off before you really piss me off!?

(Over by the cannon, Clyde, Liam, Rusty ,Zach and Stella work the weapon. They fire, the round whizzes through the air and passes Sam's head by a few inches.)

Sam: (scolds) Hey! Mind your aim! You nearly hit me!

(Luna looks between her Sam and the crew at this. Her expression grows enraged.)

Luna: (pissed) Ok! You win! I'm pissed, you happy dudes! Don't say I didn't warn ya!

(Back Sam goes in the tree. Luna roars in anger and reaches down towards the crew. They all panic and sprint for cover. Liam is seized and thrown into the Rockers mouth.)

(Liam pokes his head out from between Luna's lips and glares at her as best he can.)

Liam: Hey Luna cut it out. Lincoln isn't gonna be happy when he hears about this! Come on! Quit eatin' me!

(At that moment, Rusty sees what is happening to his pal. He runs out of cover, holding a rifle.)

Rusty: Hold on Liam! I'll save you!

(Rusty fires, but with incredibly bad aim, he misses Luna and hits Liam's arm. He clutches his wound and stares daggers at Rusty.)

Liam: (sarcastic) Ow! Nice shootin' Tex! (argry) She's fifty feet tall and you miss!? How is that possible!

(Luna then pushes Liam back into her mouth and swallows him despite his protests. A second later, she burps.)

Luna: (covers her mouth) Excuse me.

(Huggins stands near a crate full of gas bombs. He bounces one in his hands.)

Huggins: (serious) All right you giant rockstar! Have a snoot full of this gas bomb. You want something done right you gotta do it yourself.

(Huggins pulls the pin and throws the bomb in a very wimpy looking fashion. He looks expecting it to go off, only to realize to late it only landed one or two feet in front of him.)

Huggins: (nervous) Oh boy!

(The bomb goes off covering the man in the gas and making him shudder . Luna stops fighting the crew to smile at this, thinking it was hilarious. Pacowski walks up as the gas clears. Huggins begins singing and dancing.)

Huggins: I was strolling through the gas one day!

(Pacowski picks up a second bomb and after removing the pin throws it with far greater strength than Huggins. The bomb lands at Luna's feet and explodes. Luna grunts and roars angrily.)

Luna: Good gravy, that stinks! What did I ever do to you guys! I'm gonna ..(begins to feel drowsy)..Kill you…teach you a lesson…(yawns)…Maybe take a nap first …Just for a few minutes.

(With a quiet murmer and another yawn, Luna falls to her knees and collapses on to her side as the gas does it work. In seconds she's snoring soundly.)

(Huggins, having recovered from the gas, Pacowski and Bobby approach the sleeping giant. Huggins praises his assistant.)

Huggins: (pleasantly surprised) Well done, Pacowski! Tell you what, when we get back to Royal Woods I'm giving you that raise!

Pacowski: (eyes light up) Oh happy days! I knew this day would come! I just—(suddenly Luna, still comatose, reacts and somehow snaps up and swallows Pacowski before she lowers her head and resumes snoring. Bobby, startled holds up his hands and backs away slowly. But Huggins is unfazed and simply shrugs.)

Huggins: (not caring) Oh well!

Sam: (above) Hey guys! (everyone looks up to see her still in the tree Luna left her.) Feel free to get my down anytime!

...

(Later on, The steamer chugs away from the island. It's newest passenger secured in the cargo hold. Above deck, Huggins stands before Bobby and Sam and does a happy dance.)

Huggins: (excited) Oh, yeah! I'm gonna be Rich! I'm gonna be Rich!

Bobby: (starts friendly before becoming dead-pan) Hey! Does that mean your finally gonna pay us?!

Huggins: (jerky) Pay you? For what, playing BTR all the way here!

Bobby: (defensively) Ok first off I'm Captain. Captain picks the music! (counts on his fingers) Second, Bringing you here. risking the lives of me and my crew to capture a giant not in the original deal. (grows angry) Costing the lives of two of my crew and Pacowski! Putting Sam in danger! And finally just plain being a jerk!

Huggins: (snorts) Please! I'm paying you a cent! I'm the mastermind. You do all the hard work. (turns and walks away) Secondly who's gonna miss Luna, those villagers should thank me. I saved them from having to sacrifice people!.

(Huggins walks away. On the shore of Loud island, several villagers run after the ship on the beach, screaming and yelling ablnd waving their arms.)

Chief: Hey! Come back with our giant! (Turns back to her followers) You think we should have told them, we were the ones to start the whole sacrificing thing?

Villager #2: I don't know, but boy and I angry! We need structure in our lives.

Villager #3: Yeah, structure like Sacrificing people, monthly subscriptions to Game stop. Monthly potlucks! (laments) Who ate we gonna sacrifice people too now!? Who I ask you? Who!?

(At that moment a thirty foot tall prehistoric version of Lincoln strolls on the beach. Looking everywhere for his big sis.)

Lincoln: (worried) Luna!? Where are you?!

(The villagers look at each other before back at him.)

Chief: What about you? How do you feel about sacrifices?

(Lincoln looks down at them. He shrugs)

Yep, I wrote this purely for fun. Told you it was rated SM for Stupidly Moronic! It's so weird imagining these guys as bad asses. Will continue Loud of the Rings after this is concluded in part 2…