Hiya everyone. I know its been a while, but I've been busy. Anyway, this is going to be another multi-chapter fic. I dont know how many chapters its going to be, but if you've ever read my first fic 'Secrets, handcuffs and storms' this is going to be (hopefully) the origin story for it. It may end up including some of my other stories as well to make a lengthy overall story, but we'll see. Okay now that-that is over and done with, I hope you enjoy. Reviews, follows, favourites and PM's are always appreciated.

I dont own Fairy Tail, it belongs to Hiro Mashima.

Have you ever had the world collapse around you? Ever felt as everything around you, everything you have ever cared about, shatter into a million tiny pieces? As you stare at what your life is now, just trying to comprehend how you are going to fit all these pieces back together again. Knowing that even if you did manage to do so, the cracks will always show. And you will always be the fragile thing, already broken and so easily done so again. Barely filling up the gaps, and playing the role of what you once was. Just a shadow of your former self, as you come to terms of your new role in life. Knowing you'll never be the same again.

For Juvia this was the case. However, as unlucky as the "Rain Woman" has always been, this happened many times over. So not even she fully understood who she was anymore, or what she was meant to be. Always trying to find herself in a new hobby, place, friendship and partner. People always assumed Juvia spoke in third person as a weird character trait, but really, it's because she never knew who she was. With her always trying to fulfil the role that other people wanted her to. Such as: Phantom Lord wanting her to "bat" for the dark side, Bora wanting her to be the girl that wasn't plagued with the rain, Gray wanting her to be more like Lucy... Things that she never was, but tried to be to please those who held her affection. Just wanting to be loved and accepted for herself. While never getting to be herself. To the point she can't remember the real her anymore. Under all the outfit changes, interest swapping and stalker tendencies, she no longer knew what was left of her old self to salvage. Her obsession was her way of trying to find herself, by dedicating herself fully to something... Someone. But never getting what she needed in return.

Juvia wandered aimlessly through the spattered streets. Rain drops falling in patterns around her. People running and ducking for cover to avoid the impromptu storm that was rolling in. Couples huddled together under coats and umbrellas. Families gathered under any available shelters. Girls, prettier than what anyone had ever thought of her, held books, bags, coats, helplessly over their heads in the hope to avoid being drenched as they splashed through the puddles for cover. And Juvia couldn't find any semblance of care, sympathy or guilt over the rain she carried with her. This was supposed to be a day filled of joy. A day filled with joy that was for once in the celebration of Juvia, something she had never had. But instead she was the one with tears streaming down her face, using the rain she had created as cover, to wash it all away. Stumbling her way home, or anywhere other than where she had just come from. As thoughts of pain, confusion and betrayal swirled in her mind.

It felt like hours had passed. Filled with the passing of blurry faces through the pouring rain, before Juvia felt the warm, familiar comfort of being in her apartment. But it felt like as soon as the door shut, and the world could no longer see her, hear her, hurt her, she was finally free to break all over again. That was one thing Juvia had learnt to do over the years. It was to wait until she was alone, truly alone. Not just the feeling of being alone that always followed her around, before she let herself shatter. But one day, the pieces aren't ever going to be able to be put together again. And every time she shattered, the gut-wrenching feeling that consumed her was that it was going to be the last time. The last time she broke, never to feel whole (well as whole as a broken person can) again. Never to feel the few bliss moments of happiness and contentment. But for once, Juvia knew it wasn't her fault. She hadn't done anything wrong, but he still hurt her more than she ever thought he was capable of doing. Wasn't it enough that he didn't love her back? Wasn't it enough that she had to endure being friends with the girl who held her beloved's attention, knowing that she could never replace her? Wasn't it enough that she had devoted herself entirely to him, knowing there was only the slimmest of chances that one day he may love her back? Only for it to be ripped out from under her and torn to pieces as she watched him choose someone else. Right in front of her, with no remorse as to what his actions was doing to her.

Juvia had been looking forward to this day all week. For the first time in her life she was actually going to celebrate her birthday! And not only that, but with her friends who had all decided to throw her a "surprise" (though Ezra couldn't help but tell her) birthday party for her. She had gone out of her way to buy a new outfit for herself to wear, which was a royal blue, off the shoulder's skater skirt dress. It wasn't something Juvia would normally wear as it lay just above her knees and showed off the tops of her shoulders/chest region, but she figured for a special occasion like this she'd try something new. She'd spent her entire morning getting ready and pampering herself. But as she looked in the mirror, she couldn't help but notice a necklace would really make the outfit pop. After scouring through her jewellery box and discarding every necklace in it to the bed, she reluctantly accepted defeat. She just wanted everything to be perfect.

"This will just have to do." Juvia sighed out as she grabbed her clutch and headed out the door to the guild hall.