Chapter 2:

Sealing our Vows

in This Wonderful Village!

As I came to, once again. My head felt a flurry of blows had landed upon it. It was like a blizzard was rampaging through my mind. To my left, I could see the curtains of a window fully illuminated, it must be around noon.

Outside the door, I could hear faint murmurs.

"So, he really is hopeless after all..."

Ah, that was Megumun.

"I don't really mind... I had no plans today. Helping a friend out is much more important!"

So Yunyun could be determined aswell.

"Please don't focus on his words so much. Look at it this way, not only did he abandon me to go off drinking. He also caused trouble for Darkness, in more ways than one."

I really couldn't argue that. However, why were they still outside my door? I got up, only to realize my shirt had been removed.

"That was a creak just now, wasn't it?"

So perceptive!

"Kazuma-san... If you're awake, then we should be on our way."

Wait, it wasn't just my shirt...

"You shouldn't give him time to respond. As you already know, he has a habit of targeting weak points."

I was the one who heard a creak this time, from the two girls who were about to open the door, and witness my glorious body.

"Wait!"

"Too late!"

With that, Megumin swung open the door.

"Goodbye, my innocence..."

"You could at least try to cover up! I don't mind, but what about Yunyun!?"

It was too late, I had already given up on protecting myself from this overly aggressive girl.

As the two girls stood there, I made no motion to cover up. Yunyun covered her face, but still stole glances through her fingers. Megumin, however, had invited herself in, walked past me, and was now rummaging through a closet.

"Seriously... Its like taking care of a child, did losing your memories, also make you lose your modesty?"

Saying that, she threw, rather forcefully, a simple outfit at me.

"Now cover your chunchunmaru."

Get out first! I wanted to say, but just then another wave of nausea hit me. I held my temple with my fingers, and fell backwards onto what was presumably my bed.

"What did Darkness do to me?" I asked with a rather meek voice.

"Am I going to have to dress you now?"

Please don't look at me like that. Ah, that goes for you too Yunyun, I thought she was normal, but hasn't she been staring for too long?

"Yes please."

"Even with your memories gone, you really don't change, do you?"

Megumin said something rude, but still had a faint smile on her lips.

"W-well, i'll be waiting outside, you two!"

She only spoke up now!? After getting her fill of my body? I bet she even burned the image of my 'chunchunmaru' into her retinas.

"Darkness brought me home, right? Why am I naked?"

"You wouldn't be, if you got dressed already. Unless you want me to do something?"

"Please, get out."

Megumin gave me a worried look, and with a tilt of her head, asked,

"Are you really alright? Just now I thought you fainted. Maybe Aqua should come heal you."

Was she enjoying this? Darkness couldn't say something, but everyone could look!?

"No, i'd rather just die than have anyone else see me like this."

"You're just putting on an act, aren't you? I can tell."

Why was she so observant today? She's right, I could barely feel my limbs.

"Darkness must have done something, and thought you wouldn't be here for it."

"No, she's already left."

She stripped me, drugged me and left? I thought she was a masochist...

"You just can't handle your alcohol."

Oh, was that the case?

"Even still! I shouldn't be naked!"

"I'll get Aqua, she doesn't care about you in the slightest, so you don't have to worry."

Was that supposed to put me at ease? Nothing I would say could stop her, however. Once again, I simply accepted my fate.

As she left, I tried to go over the previous night's events in my head.

Town Square, Last Night

After leaving the mansion with Dust, he and I were headed to the guild for the second time that day.

"So, first of all. How much do you remember?"

How much? I was drawing a blank.

"Nothing."

He gave me a concerned look, even though he was a sexual deviant, I could tell he was a true friend, and as a true friend myself... I should tell him how creepy he was being.

"Please don't look at me like that, I feel like you're undressing me with your eyes."

"Kazuma! As if you haven't already ruined my good image enough today! I'm actually pretty worried, you know?"

"Sorry, it was just a joke."

"But if you really don't remember amything, how come you remembered 'that'?"

It was just a feeling I had. But should I really tell him that? I should probably say that he seemed like the kind of person who would wear something like that.

"It was just a feeling I had. No, I believe that image traumatized me so much, that it will forever remain in my unconscience."

"You were really into it at the time, though."

Really into it? I really hope he didn't mean what I was thinking. How could I ever look at my party, if that were the case!? As I was wondering if I was that kind of person before, we had arrived.

"Ah, we're here."

"I've been wondering for a while, but what exactly is this card?"

Without even glancing, Dust began explaining.

"Ah, that is your adventurer card, it shows thing like your skills, level, class, and stats. Now let's get some drinks."

"What is any of what you just said!?"

Before the words even reached his ears, Dust had flung open the doors, causing a barmaid who was sweeping the floor to go flying backwards. As she did a triple corkscrew, screeching like a firework, the whole guild, now tavern, turned to look at the comotion. Without a word, Dust pointed at me.

"It... it wasn't me!" I quickly tried to defuse the situation.

"Oh no! Kazuma has become angry with the way you all treated him earlier and is about to go on a rampage!"

Then, one of the patrons responded.

"You say that, but unlike him, your hand is stretched out."

"No! I tried to grab her, so she wouldn't be hurt! I'm a stand up guy!"

I guess Dust's reputation was now worse than mine after the morning's events.

"Putting that aside, Kazuma promised he would be paying for everyone's drinks tonight, after some convincing from yours truly of course.

Cheers erupted from the guild. Exclusively for me, I guess it wasn't all that bad. The people drinking had stormed over to where we were, trampling that poor lady.

"As expected of the billionaire adventurer, his kindness knows no bounds!"

"Kind, and handsome too!? This guy has it all! Forget about Megumin, and marry me."

Even the women had changed their opinion rather quickly.

"Wait! What about me!? Aren't I handsome too?"

Only one person responded to Dust's plea. A rather eccentric man. Before I could hear what he was about to say, a crowd had swept me off my feet.

I gave the lady at the counter a bag of money that I had in my pocket, and that was all I remembered. Maybe I could hear the rest later.

My Room, Present

Here I was, awaiting the death of my relationship with my party. There's no way I could ever recover from this shame. Ah, that word 'shame' just invoked something in me. Am I actually a masochist?

"Kazuma! I brought Aqua."

"Wait!"

"I already told you it didn't matter..."

Perhaps Megumin noticed the change in my tone of voice this time. As she didn't swing open the door.

"No, you really can't enter right now!"

"How am I supposed to heal you if I don't enter, Kazuma?"

Please read the mood! No wonder Lady Eris seems so much more like a goddess! It seems like Megumin caught on at least.

"Well, if he's like that, perhaps he needs my help first."

I could see where this was going...

"Eh? But I got out of bed just for this!"

"Please come in first Megumin."

I heard a slight turn of the knob, and I was silently praying for good fortune. As Megumin came into view, her eyes focused on the very strange portrusion coming from my lower half. It was covered by only a thin white sheet.

"Its like this, so please help relieve me."

I could see her face slowly fill with red. She didn't seem to reject the idea, however,

"Very well. Don't think you'll be able to stop me after I start, Kazuma."

I thought I had finally said something too embarassing for her to go through with...

"No wait, I wasn't being serious! Aqua is just outside the door, you know!?"

"Normally you would say something like 'that just makes it more exciting!'"

"What are you two doing in there? If i'm not needed, then i'll go nurture Zell."

Why are you abandoning me!?

"Its fine now, right Kazuma?"

"Wait! Aqua-sama please help me! I'm about to be violated!"

Just then, someone burst through the door, not Aqua, but...

"Megumin, cut it ou-"

Yunyun's eyes fell upon it too. Behind her, Aqua's eyes lit up.

"Oh?"

My one regret in life, was not dying at this exact moment. It seems like I had been forsaken by even the gods

After I died internally, and Aqua healed me, I was finally able to get dressed. To think that such a hangover cure existed, probably the only good thing this goddess was able to do.

"Just now you thought that curing hangovers was the only thing I was good for, didn't you?"

How can she be able to read my mind but not the mood. Speaking of mood, Yunyun kept shooting looks my way. I'm engaged, you know?

"Enough talk, we should be heading to our village now. Yunyun?"

I suppose they were only waiting for me.

"Actually, just go without me."

"What are you saying, Kazuma? You really think I can do that? After you got me so worked up last night, and this morning? I still haven't had any release. I plan to make you repay me in full tonight!"

"Saying something so bold! Megumin, you really have become an adult before me!"

I felt that Yunyun had gotten the wrong idea. Based on my conversation with Dust last night, Megumin probably meant something like...

"You mean with explosion, right?"

"Fu fu, of course."

As expected. Still, I did owe it to her. After the excitement had died down, we were finally out of the mansion. It seems like Aqua planned on tagging along.

"Do you really need to come, Aqua? I was hoping to have some time alone with Kazuma..."

This was the one time i'm glad that useless goddess couldn't read the mood. Megumin was far too aggressive for me at the moment.

"You two can do whatever you like, I only want to see Mary."

And so I was forsaken by this goddess also.

We walked for a good twenty minutes before Yunyun suddenly stated,

"I'll teleport us now. Please prepare yourselves."

At that moment, I heard an incredibly kind voice sound out.

"Ah, Kazuma-san!"

Turning around, I saw a well-endowed brunette chasing after me, it really was my popular phase, huh? I figured I should introduce myself.

"Yes-"

'Teleport'

"I am Kazuma."

"Introducing yourself right out of a teleport, as expected of an outsider. We should follow your example!"

As this strange man said that, there were people clamouring in the streets, screaming something about outsiders.

"I am Bukororri, a member of the Crimson Demon Defense Corps, you know that already, of course. Your introduction just lit a fire in my heart! How could I resist after such a cool introduction!?"

So all Crimson Demons were like this? I felt like I would regret saying this, but I probably should.

"Actually, I didn't know. I lost all my memories recently."

"Well, i'll be going on without you Kazuma, I should let my parents know the situation. Aqua, you can come too. As for you, Yunyun, you can just stand here until we're ready to leave."

The streets were suddenly empty, until those citizens came back wearing robes. Bukororri had a glazed over look in his eyes. Yunyun was on the verge of tears, and I felt like I had just made an even bigger mistake than this morning.

"Everyone! Kazuma has lost his memories! Please reintroduce yourselves!"

As he shouted that, I could see glowing red eyes fall upon me from every direction. Is this what cornered prey felt like? This was going to take a while...

Evening, Crimson Demon Village

After many introductions, I was finally freed by Megumin coming back to get me. I didn't know whether to feel relieved or even more terrified. Just what would she tell her family?

"Say, Megumin?"

"Yes, Darling?"

I really didn't like where this was going.

""Darling", isn't that a bit much?"

"Don't be silly, its only to be expected in this situation."

I had pulled out the ring and was fumbling it in anticipation. More than meeting her parents for the first time, I was also telling them I was marrying their daughter!?

"Say, have I met your parents yet?"

"Of course."

Well that somewhat alleviated my fear, but now I still had the whole marriage fiasco to deal with!

"Ah, we're almost there, see that house there?"

She pointed towards a rundown shack.

"How... modest?"

"Please pay it no mind. After all, my parents will probably move into the mansion with us."

Just what did she decide on her own!? Her parents are going to be ruining my harem house? I won't accept it!

"Are you ready?"

Like I would ever be ready for this!

"Just get it over with..."

"You really shouldn't be so complacent, it will leave a bad impression, darling."

Again with that nickname. But, I steeled myself and knocked on the door. It soon opened up and I closed my eyes. Did a bow, and saw,

"Onii-chan!"

My heart just skipped a beat, am I really a lolicon!?

"Komekko! Daddy is not feeling so well right now, so you should lay off the jokes for a bit."

Wait, did she just say daddy? We had a daughter!?

"To think you would have my daughter call you "daddy" right in front of her own father..."

Just now I felt the same tingles as when the women in the guild were prepared to beat me senseless.

"I'm really sorry sir!"

'Sleep'

The stern looking man, who called himself Megumin's father just crumpled like a paper bag. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a very traditional housewife appear.

"Oh my, it seems like your father had gotten himself so worked up, that his heart failed."

Should you really be so calm if that was the case!? Komekko, our supposed daughter had ran out back. I was left with these two overly aggressive women. I was definitely not a meager man, but I couldn't get a word in with these two.

"You should really be more assertive, darling."

"Oh, so you have advanced to that stage already? As expected of my daughter!"

No, I feel like I am actually quite meager now. Almost immediately, the housewife had noticed the object in my hand.

"Oh! Such a pretty ring, I could almost mistake it for the princess's!"

Its really happening, huh? I pretty much just shut down as she said that. Their words were jumbled, and mixed together in a stew of noise. I couldn't follow the conversation at all.

"Kazuma."

Megumin just said my name, and nudged me towards her mother.

"Megumin already told us about your little ailment. I am Yuiyui. Megumin's mother, and you have my full blessing."

"Thank you, ma'am."

That felt really out of character for me right now. I guess that happens when your body goes on autopilot.

"That man down there on the floor is my husband, and the number one potion maker of the Crimson Demons, Hyoizaburoo. You don't need to remember him."

Actually, I think I do. Now how do I get out of this situation?

"Mom, me and Kazuma were about to go on a date."

Now, how do I stay in this situation?

"I think I need a breath of fresh air!"

I said and ran out back. When I opened the door, a beautiful, almost divine being was in front of me, and Aqua was there too.

"Ah, adventurer-san!"

She said such a thing. I couldn't help but approach her.

"Hey Kazuma, don't even think about killing Mary."

Kill!? Why would I kill someone I just met? Wait, now that I look closer, Komekko was out here too.

"Please come closer adventurer-san"

"Gladly."

Komekko bit into Mary's roots. Wait...

"Agh! I'm sorry Lady Komekko!"

"Hey, Aqua, why does 'Mary' have roots!?"

"Oh right, you don't remember. She is a tranquility girl. A kind of plant that lets adventurers die in peace next to them."

Scary.

"Speaking of which, Kazuma. I forgot to ask you about your conversation with my kohai yesterday."

Oh, I never told anyone?

"Lady Eris told me that she didn't inflict divine judgement."

"Are you sure? I bet with all the followers she has recently, she has upgraded from goddess of luck, to goddess of plot devices."

Isn't that a plot device in itself?

"Do goddesses really just evolve like that?"

"Just think of all the reasons she's had to inflict divine judgement. I bet saying you were luckier than her was the tipping point. I mean, you always cause trouble for her by dying."

Wait, how many times have I died up to this point? Wouldn't it be your fault for resurrecting me every time?

"Not to mention, the recent stint with you obeying some random goddess."

Ah, can Lady Eris get jealous? Please get over your jealousy soon, I prayed.

'I most certainly am not jealous!'

Such a cute reaction, I would expect nothing less from a real goddess.

"No, she really didn't do it. After all, Lady Eris is a real goddess."

"Are you trying to say i'm a fake goddess?"

No, that wasn't my intent, but it isn't wrong, so I won't correct her.

"You didn't even object..."

She seemed a little sad, but i'm sure she'll get over it soon enough.

"Say, Kazuma."

"Hm?"

"I've known you the longest, so I can usually tell what you're thinking."

So that's why.

"You know, if you ever have problems, you can tell me about them."

Was I wrong in my judgement? I was actually feeling guilty now.

"That look on your face tells me everything I need to know."

She smiled, and I felt a warmth go to my heart. I let out an easy smile as well, perhaps I was being too rough on her. Maybe she was a real goddess after all.

"Everyone! Undead are storming the village! Something must have attracted them!"

That Bukororri guy screamed out, I wonder what could attract undead? Just now I noticed Aqua slightly jump.

"Aqua, do you know why undead would be attracted here?"

"N-not at all!"

It was totally her fault.

Megumin's House, An hour later

Megumin came up to me, probably for that date she was talking about earlier. Luckily I didn't have to participate in the extermination of undead, as all the Crimson Demons were well versed in high level magic.

"Kazuma, time for our date. I hope you'll live up to my expectations."

"Bye now, if you two get lost in the forest we won't look for you, so go wild, you hear?"

I don't know who to be more afraid of, the girl who can explode anything, or her mother. Megumin slowly wrapped her hand around mine, and a light blush appeared on her face.

"If you stay silent, you really are adorable."

"I still haven't cast 'explosion' yet, so you should probably watch what you say."

Oh? So its fine as long as I say it after she casts explosion? As we approached the border of the village, Bukororri came up to us again.

"I should've known it would come to this."

Wait, did she not have permission to do this? Now that I think about it... why would she be so used to using explosion anyway?

"This is... to celebrate our wedding."

As she said that, she took the ring from me. I almost instinctively growled, 'my precious' for some reason. Anyways, it seemed like Bukororri just had a great shock.

"Kazuma, I thought you were a fellow NEET... maybe I should really try my luck with Soketto!"

There was a lot to get into there, so I just decided to ignore him.

"If you understand that, you should let us pass."

Wait, he was just lost in thought, why would you say something like that Megumin?

"Very well, as long as you promise to never do it again."

"Not a chance."

So quick! So blunt! My heart just fluttered. Not really.

"Well, as long as you don't do it tomorrow then."

"Ah, we're leaving tonight, or tomorrow."

I spoke up, trying to explain the situation.

"Very well then, you two shall pass. Just this once, consider it my wedding gift."

"The greatest gift you could give, is not being there."

Now that we had passed that obstacle, we were finally nearing the forest outside the Crimson Demon Village.

"You were really cool here, Kazuma."

Cool? By a Crimson Demon's standards, isn't that pretty high?

"Do go on."

She had a reminscent expression, clearly thinking of some epic moment I created.

"If only you were always like that, instead of only when you're drunk."

That really ruined the mood.

"So, where exactly are we going?"

"Here is fine."

I was finally going to experience explosion magic first-hand. Needless to say, I was slightly anxious.

"So what is explo-"

'EXPLOSION!'

A deafening boom sounded from deep within the forest.

"87 points."

I just scored it without a second thought...

"Fu fu, I see Kazuma still has his wits about him, at least when it comes to this."

I think Megumin said that, I couldn't really tell, since she had a face full of dirt. After that, I gave her a piggyback. During the walk home, I had a question about my adventurer card.

"Hey Kazuma. Now that I have gotten some release, I have something important to tell you."

Megumin said something like that, in a small voice.

"Is it about the wedding?"

"It is."

I see. So we really have to decide on this before I get my memories back.

"So, what is it."

"About the ring,"

Megumin had a stange look on her face. It almost made me think that she had been lying about our engagement.

"Hah!"

"What's so funny!? I'm serious!"

"No, just now I thought you might have lied about us being engaged,"

She jumped a little. But I continued

"But that wouldn't make any sense. I mean you don't seem like the kind of girl who would say something so important in front of pretty much the whole town. Only to later say, it was all a joke."

"That is..."

Ah, I interrupted her.

"What were you saying about the ring, sorry, i'll listen this time."

"Well, about the ring... It wasn't meant for me."

What?

"You see, i'm the one who proposed to you!"

"Did I say yes?"

"You tell me."

She did say we were engaged, so the answer was probably 'yes'. I couldn't help but feel that such an answer would be unsatisfying.

"Megumin, it feels like you're forcing yourself to be around me."

"No, I!"

"I want to know the real Megumin."

That was what I honestly wished for.

"You say you don't mind this stuff, and that i'm teasing you. But is it really like that?"

"I-i'm scared."

Scared?

"I don't have a nice body like Darkness, and I haven't known you as long as Aqua. I feel that if I let up, i'll lose you."

I felt my back begin to become damp with tears. Just what have I done?

"Idiot."

"What are you saying!?"

"Like it would be like that. Just being here with you made me realize it."

"Huh?"

"I prefer the real Megumin, because I really love you. Please don't force yourself anymore, as even without memories, I can tell."

That's how it is.

"Kazuma..."

She sounded so distant in that moment.

"I would never do such a thing with Darkness, and Aqua never even crossed my mind."

"Yeah, I really love you too, Kazuma. I won't force myself anymore."

"Ah, I also had a question."

"What is it?"

The burning question on my mind,

"What is this adventurer card thing?"

Megumin started laughing.

"Hey! I'm being serious too! Oh, I just ruined the mood, didn't I?"

"I'm glad... because if you didn't, i'd have fallen even harder for you."

Saying such a thing, it made me feel like my head popped off my body...

"Well, please explain it to me."

After a short explanation, I was fully caught up.

"When we go on these dates, maybe you can tell me about my skills, that way we both get something out of it."

"I understand, but do you really want to keep doing this?"

Was she really still uneasy?

"I wouldn't prefer anyone else to teach me."

"Then I shall do my best!"

She then leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

"What did we just talk about!? I would much rather you do it on the lips if you were still forcing yourself!"

"Alright, and i'm not forcing myself."

I can't believe that we were really going to kiss. It made me even more nervous than meeting her parents. Something about this just felt more 'real' if I had to describe it.

"Well, go ahead?"

"You should start it, after all, you're the one who told me to stop forcing myself."

Using my own words against me... As expected of a Crimson Demon. But after the mood was this great, I won't waste this chance.

"There won't be any interruptions?"

"No, now do it."

I set Megumin down, and propped her against a rock. Her eyes were glowing bright, obviously expecting something.

"I could easily get lost in your eyes."

She stopped talking... I looked down at her lips, they seemed to be quivering ever so slightly. Her eyes remained focused on mine. I slowly started moving my face forward, my heart pounding faster with each second I got closer to her face.

Our lips connected, and I think I understood why she would focus on explosion so much if it felt like this.

"64 points."

"Only 64!?"

"Its a passing grade, for explosion magic. Please try harder next time."

Crimson Demon Village, Night

The walk after that point was in complete silence. After we came back, Yunyun was nowhere to be found.

"Guess we'll have to stay the night."

Being around Megumin was far too awkward at the moment. So I dropped her off at her house, then tried to find a hotel. I soon stumbled upon an inn, but the name was a little worrying.

"Succubus Lingerie, huh?"

"Ah! Kazuma-san, are you lost?"

A wild Yunyun appeared. I wanted to tell her to teleport us back, but I don't think i'm able to talk to Megumin at the moment. Then it hit me, if we teleport seperately, then I wouldn't have to worry!

"No, actually. I was looking for you, Yunyun."

"Me!? But you already have Megumin!"

"We both know Megumin just doesn't cut it, you're the only one I can ask for this. Aren't we friends?"

Yunyun quickly fled, and I was left alone once again. For some reason I feel she really got the wrong idea. If its like this, then I suppose i'll just have to go to the inn.

"Hello! I would like to stay the night."

"Oh, Kazuma, funny seeing you here again."

Was that a talking set of armor? No, it couldn't be...

"I suppose I can let you borrow my room, I don't sleep since i'm a magical artifact after all."

I think i'm already dreaming.

Author's Notes:

I'll be styling these like this from now on, so hopefully it looks a bit better than last time.

@Can'tcomeupwithanickname: I hope you enjoyed this chapter much more, as I really tried to include more description, and to make it flow better.

Overall, I will be putting these notes at the bottom now, so if you want to see my thoughts, please scroll down here first. After this, I won't be putting story spoilers in here.

Since this is the last time I can do it...

I'm hoping to move away from Megumin after this, and focus more on other characters. Even though I say that, i'll probably include a Megumin POV next chapter. Hopefully you all won't mind. The 'dates' between Megumin and Kazuma will always be from Kazuma's point of view.

I've also corrected some mistakes in the previous two chapters, but I still might go back and add some detail if it would improve them.