Prologue

"Say, Kazuma. Isn't it about time we took our relationship to the next level?"

I awoke to the sight of a certain crimson-eyed mage, lying next to me.

"Megumin, what exactly are you doing in my bed? Ah, don't tell me you've come to do perverted stuff while I was asleep... How will I ever marry now?"

"If it was like that, I would take responsibilty."

This demon said with a sly smile, something that could make any man become senseless. Not to worry however, I was completely immune to the charm status after a visit to a certain café.

"Moving on," as I said that I could see her eyes become downtrot, "what exactly do you mean by the next level?"

"Well that is..."

Wait, don't tell me this explosion maniac is actually trying to make a move on me?

"I was thinking..."

I gulped as my mind started to race.

"We could finally become..."

"Adults? Such a lewd loli..."

Suddenly Megumin's face lit up, and she started stammering.

"W-what do you mean by loli? Ah, besides that I wasn't talking about something like that. I meant we could finally be lovers."

Right. This girl said that we were something between lovers and friends.

"I guess that means you don't mind telling Aqua and Darkness now then?"

"As expected, you catch on quickly Kazuma."

Stop sounding so sure when your face is red up to your ears...

"Well I suppose I don't mind. I already rejected Darkness, so she pretty much knows the situation anyway. I doubt that useless goddess would really care much anyway."

"Eh? When you put it like that, it doesn't sound like there is really a need to confess it."

Seems like she was the only one to not realize this. Now that I think about it, Aqua probably would run the news around town.

"Aqua wouldn't care, but she loves gossip, so I bet she would tell everyone in town."

"Right. But I think i'm prepared for that."

So, she really was determined.

"If its like that... how will we announce it?"

"Wouldn't we just say it straight?"

Ah, I see this loli has no clue how these things work. Leave it to me, after all I spent countless hours courting the finest ladies on a certain MMO. At least I think they were.

"No, no, no. Clearly we need something with a bang."

"Explosion? Understood!"

"Wait! Thats not what I meant!"

"No explosion? Thats a little," she started, blatantly disappointed.

"I was thinking we could," I smugly smiled, "you know, k-kiss or something..."

Even though I started well, my face became flush, and my voice raised a few octaves. It seemed like my bluff had succeeded however, as I saw Megumin's eyes shine brightly. Wait, eyes?

"Fu fu fu, very well then. Unlike a certain useless NEET, such things don't bother me in the slightest."

Oi, are you really insulting the person who you just decided to kiss in front of the party you've been travelling with for-

"Well then, let's go forth, Kazuma! This world very well may be destroyed as I announce my love."

"Eh? You mean we're doing it right now?"

Even with a visit to that café, my heart wasn't ready for this.

"Knowing you, you would just try to weasel out if I let you out of my sight."

"That may be so. But isn't this still too sudden!? I mean we've only talked about this just now!"

"Thats enough out of you! I've already decided!"

So its like this...

As we moved downstairs, Aqua was coddling Emperor Zell on the couch, and Darkness was preparing tea.

"Ah! You two are up early." Darkness noted

"Oh? Is Kazuma finally growing out of his hikiNEET phase? Fu fu fu."

This damn useless goddess, I swear one day i'll...

"That's right, in fact he has found a significant other!"

I heard something rustle outside, probably Yunyun...

"Sig-significant other? Bahahaha! Imagine Kazauma having something like that!"

"Oi, i'm not just gonna!"

But before I could finish, Megumin grabbed my face and pulled it towards hers.

Chu.

"Wait..."

"This is?"

"Atleast give me a warning first! I almost saw Lady Eris right there. Ah speaking of Lady Eris, I bet i'm even luckier than her right now."

"That is, don't use her name so lightly in front of an axis cultist!"

As Darkness focused on what I said right now, it seemed like Megumin had shut down completely.

"I have to agree with Darkness, Kazuma. Don't address my kohai so casually, else you'll recieve divine judgement."

Divine judgement, huh? Well even if that happened I wouldn't mind. After all I felt like a new man. Thats right, from this day onward the world would see a new Satou Kazuma! Ah, Megumin has really affected me.

After such an exciting morning, I visted Wiz and Vanir for my monthly payment. As I was coming home, I stumbled upon a certain silver haired thief.

"Yo, big boss, what are you doing here?"

"Assistant-kun, I heard something particularly interesting involving you today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about it, would you?"

She must've heard about me and Megumin from Aqua's loud mouth. We were already prepared for this however.

"Silence, huh?"

"Eh?"

"You said you were luckier than Lady Eris, no?"

"Oh you meant that? I thought you were talking about Megu-"

Wait, why did Chris just drag me into this alley? And what is that look on her face?

"You even forgot about saying it? That really does deserve divine judgement!"

She screamed and launched a roundhouse to my temple, wait isn't this really out of character for a goddess of all people!? Suddenly my sight grew black, and I faded off to sleep.

"zuma, Kazuma! If you're going to get so drunk you pass out, you could at least do it in my bed."

"B-beautiful."

"What are you saying all of a sudden? Even i'll get slightly embarassed if you say something like that out of nowhere. N-not that I mind or anything."

I locked eyes with this strange woman who was shaking me awake.

"Am I in heaven?"

"You're still half asleep? Seems I didn't shake you hard enough!"

Wait thats too hard! You're banging my head against the wall!

"Who even are you!? Have you been sent to kill me?"

"This isn't the time for jokes, Kazuma. You promised we would go on a date."

"I have a date with such a beauty? I must be really lucky!"

I don't know where I am, but I don't think it really mattered at this point.

"Judging from that reaction... You must have really forgotten, huh? Don't tell me you annoyed my second-in-command again..."

"Second-in-command?"

"*sigh* Let's get you to the guild for now."

As we were walking to this 'guild' I noticed people on the street would glance at me like I was some sort of wild animal. Maybe they were terrified of how strong I am. I bet I have a high reputation or a strong-sounding title like Dragon Slayer.

"Sorry, we don't have any quests at the moment."

Wait, isn't this supposed to be a guild? How could they not have any quests?

"No, we aren't here for quests. My partner seems to have gotten another bout of amnesia."

Looking around the guild, I felt a strange sense of nostalgia wash over me. It seems this place held a lot of important memories. Suddenly, a tough blonde adventurer approached me.

"Yo Kazuma, how about a round of drinks with your old buddy?"

"R-red..."

"Ah I guess you don't remember me, I even took the time to wear these old things"

"Red panties."

A dumbstruck look descended upon his face.

"You don't remember who I am, but you remember something so embarrassing!?"

My look shifted to a table where a blue haired girl and a blonde knight were seated. Something compelled me to go to them, but I was suddenly stopped by a hand on my shoulder.

"Seems like this isn't from Claire-san this time, Kazuma. As the effects wouldn't wipe your entire memory. Oh, could it be you still recognise our party?"

"Our party, you say? I was wondering why they seemed familliar."

I heard that same adventurer as before sigh and mutter something under his breath.

As I approached the table, the blue haired one looked up, sighed, and focused on some sort of figurine again. For some reason I really wanted to hit her on the head.

"You're so lucky Kazuma, if my memories got wiped I bet that there would be a lot of people who would take advantage of that and hehe~"

Oi, just what exactly is wrong with the people I know?

"Anyways Kazuma, we should take you up to speed on who we are. We live together after all."

"You're telling me I live with a harem of beautiful girls? My popularity phase is finally here!"

I almost cried.

"Well, I really can't believe you don't remember me."

Ah the red eyed loli spoke first.

"After all, I am your wife."

Eh?

The guild was unnaturally silent, I could tell even though this was my first time here.

"Just now, what did you say?"

"You're the one who proposed right? You should still have the ring in your pocket..."

I rummaged through my back pocket, and indeed, I felt a hard circular object. Pulling it out, gasps sounded out across the hall.

"Thats a ring befitting a noble, as expected of the billionaire adventurer!"

"To think that the day would finally come, and that Kazuma of all people would find love before me..."

Wait what were these people saying?

""""Congratulations!""""

I was really getting married to this girl?

"That ring, isn't that Prin- hng"

The lady knight tried to speak out but was stopped by the loli.

"I guess you and Megumin, really are the perfect match, Kazuma."

Ah, so my wife's name was Megumin...

"What kind of name is Megumin!?"

'Megumin' shot me an angry glare, but continued to explain.

"Early this morning, you proposed to me, with that very ring."

She rubbed her arms together in a too-cute-to-describe way.

"Honestly I was so overjoyed, that I didn't even know what to say."

"So that explains why you two were sucking face this morning."

I really wanted to tell blue hair to shut it.

"Well if it was like that, I suppose that explains why you used Lady Eris' name in vain."

Suddenly blue hair jumped up

"Ah, thats it!"

"""Hm?"""

Even I couldn't hide my curiosity.

"This must be divine judgement'"

""Ah!""

'Megumin' and the lady knight gasped.

"Even though I was really happy to hear it, you should apologise to Lady Eris. Maybe she'll appeal her judgement."

"I lost my memories because I said that I was luckier than some goddess!?"

"Well she is the 'goddess of luck' after all."

The knight explained.

There was suddenly murmering in the guild.

"So he gets hitched and doesn't even remember stripping me?"

"""Ah, me too!"""

Wait, just how unfaithful was I!? 'Megumin' would really marry someone like me?

""""We'll make him pay!""""

Suddenly a tingle ran down my spine. As I turned around, the women in the guild barely concealed their killing intent as they brandished weapons and some, their bare fists. I held my hand out and was about to beg them to stop...

"Ah, that stance..."

"Don't tell me he remembers 'Steal'..."

"Why did you say that name!?"

Using the moment of confusion I brought out the strange card I was carrying and sure enough, 'Steal' was written there.

"Hehehe, this skill must be really powerful for you to all cower in fear!"

"Get down! He's going to use it!"

I closed my eyes, and shouted.

'Steal!'

Suddenly, I felt a soft fabric in my hands.

"Eh? Red panties?"

My body instictively knew what to do, I started vigorously rubbing them over my face while laughing maniacally.

"Kazuma... I would expect you to do that to the female adventurers..."

The silence in the air was overwhelming. As the blonde thug spoke out.

"But not your old pal, Dust!"

"You still wore them!?"

I vomited.

"To think I travelled with such a man."

"Wait Rin, this is a misunderstanding!"

"I never knew Dust-san was this kind of person..."

"Et tu, Yunyun!?"

'Megumin' and the rest of my party grabbed me and ran outside.

End of Prologue