Chapter 37

Erin sat vigil by Jay's hospital bedside as Jay rested, the steady beeping of the machines keeping tracks of his vitals her only company. Everyone offered to stay with her but she refused. Voight tried to intimidate a doctor into admitting Erin overnight for observation but Erin shot that down. She was fine, physically. Mentally and emotionally, she was slowly recovering.

"The poor idiot exhausted himself," Will had told her earlier when Jay was first rushed into E.R. Erin wanted to smack Will over the head for his lack of bedside manner but even she had to admit that the fact that Will was cracking jokes about Jay's condition had eased her fear a bit. If Will didn't seem overly concerned then she had to assume that Jay would be fine. After a slew of tests, they had given Jay something to help him sleep.

With a stern look to everyone, she made it clear that she wasn't moving an inch from his bedside so they shouldn't even bother with trying to get her to leave. Poor Jay didn't even have the energy to argue with her to go home like he normally would. If Erin had to guess though, she suspected that Jay wasn't all that keen on her leaving. Not after what happened the last time she went home.

Erin covered her yawns with her hand, her eyelids feeling heavier by the minute. Despite every bone in her tired body was screaming for her to rest in a bed— or somewhere more comfortable than a rickety plastic chair— she knew it would take a hurricane or an earthquake to get her to move from Jay's side, even if that. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and shook her head as if she could shake off exhaustion. She didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to take her eyes off of Jay and she didn't want to stop counting every rise and fall of his chest as he recovered.

She held his hand that was resting by his side and gently grasped it in her smaller one. His hand wasn't all smooth and flawless like hers. Scattered among the faint freckles were scars and blemishes— each one with its own story of what Jay had been through. She traced the scar on his palm that ran from his index finger to his ring finger, one that he got when he instinctively reached out to break her fall and came in contact with a broken bottle on the ground. That was Jay though. Always looking out for her and protecting her. She had heard bits and pieces from her team about how they found her earlier and how Jay pretty much saved her life. Yet again.

She counted each of his fingers, touching each of his fingertips, before turning his hand over so she could keep a hold on him with her hand. She wouldn't let him slip through her fingers. The air in the hospital room was cold but the warmth that was exuding from Jay's hand, the warmth that told her that he was still with her, was all that she needed.

Erin didn't realize that she had fallen asleep until her head slipped from her hand that was holding it up and she hit the soft bed, startling her awake. She blinked rapidly, getting her bearings, before her attention fell on Jay still sleeping away. Relieved that she didn't wake him up, she stood up and stretched her body.

She opted to sit back down in the small empty space on the edge of Jay's bed and she slowly leaned forward so she could lay the gentlest of a kiss on his cheek, his stubble tickling her. He hadn't shaved in a couple of days and his stubble was growing. She stroked his jaw softly with her thumb and smiled to herself. He was a handsome man— strong jawed and chiseled with sharp features and piercing blue eyes. Somehow all of his sharp features worked together because they were offset by his mischievous grin and smiling eyes. Smiling eyes that she missed seeing. She leaned closer again so she could kiss the delicate skin of his eyelids, making sure to be extra gentle so he wouldn't be woken up.

She heard light knocking on her door and a nurse came in, giving Erin a small smile.

"Morning," the nurse greeted her and Erin returned a morning greeting of her own. Erin stood up to give the nurse room to check Jay's vitals. The nurse jotted down a few things on the clipboard and adjusted a few things on the monitor.

"Is everything okay?" Erin couldn't help but ask. The nurse smiled at her, reassuringly.

"Everything looks fine. Looks like he's still catching on his sleep huh?" Erin laughed lightly before nodding.

"Yeah, he has a lot of resting up to catch up on," Erin replied. She remained silent after that so the nurse could focus on giving Jay the care he needed. Just as quickly as she came, the nurse left just as quickly after. Erin sat back down on the chair and reached for Jay's hands again, needing at least some contact with him.

She looked outside the windows and saw the bright light from the sun. The summer was almost over and fall was on its way. After that, it'd be winter and before she knew it, it'd be a year since she came back to Chicago. It had been one of the best years of her life. Being back in Chicago, reuniting with Jay and returning to Intelligence made her happier than she'd ever been. She felt like she was finally settled and content with herself and her life. Even the ordeal that she went through with Bunny and David wasn't going to drag her down. Erin was more than determined about that. She wouldn't let the past define her. She was ready for the future. The future she was more than ready to share with Jay.

"What got you smiling like that?"

Erin's head snapped to the voice, finding Jay's blue eyes open and his lips pulled into a small grin. Erin's own hazel eyes started to water at Jay finally waking up and she stood up, her hand coming up to cup Jay's face.

"Hi," she whispered, smiling widely. "You're awake."

Jay clasped her wrist that was holding his face and gave her a blinding smile, his eyes squinting from the action.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, her eyes carefully watching his reaction to see how he was really doing.

"I'm fine," Jay replied, Erin expecting the answer from him. She set her eyes on him, trying to coax a truthful answer out of him. "Really, I'm okay," Jay insisted, chuckling. He laced their fingers together and rested their hands on his lap. "Now that you're safe and sound, I'm more than okay. I'm great."

Erin's glare softened up for a minute before she shook her hand out of his and slapped his thigh, the unexpected move taking him by surprise.

"Ow!" Jay hissed. "What was that for?"

"That was for exhausting yourself until you collapsed. For not caring about your well-being, pushing yourself to the brink and for scaring the shit out of me!" Erin scolded him, the memory of Jay falling unconsciously in her arms running through her mind. "I was really scared, Jay," Erin admitted with a small voice.

Jay's face sobered up and he reached for her hand again. "I know," he replied. "I know I did babe. I'm sorry." Erin wished she could stay mad at him for not putting himself first. "You scared me too, you know? Not knowing where you were and worse, seeing you in that video?" He shook his head, letting Erin see just how much it affected him.

"I'm sorry too," Erin apologized, her free hand coming up to cup his jaw. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"It wasn't your fault. It was mine."

Erin frowned at Jay putting the blame on himself. "How was any of it your fault Jay?" she demanded, not liking Jay blaming himself.

"I was the one who made you go home alone. I put you in David's direct path," Jay explained like it made complete sense to him that Erin getting kidnapped by David was because of him.

Erin scooted closer to him and she firmly held his face, directing his eyes straight to hers. "Listen to me, Jay. This wasn't your fault. Any of it. David was already planning whatever he was planning and he would've got me one way or another. He was dead set on getting his money so he can run." Jay's guilt was still evident on his face as he dropped his eyes onto his lap. Erin sighed and stroked her thumb over his stubble. "Jay, look at me." Jay slowly brought his head up to meet her eyes, turmoil swimming in his eyes. "I love you and I know that you would never do anything to put me in danger. Okay?" She pressed her lips and her dimples popped out. She wanted to expel any last lingering guilt Jay still had about what happened. "Jay, remember Derek Keyes?"

"How could I forget?" Jay replied mirthlessly.

"When I apologized to you for getting you kidnapped, what did you tell me?" Erin hedged. Maybe her words wouldn't be enough to dispel Jay's misplaced guilt but she hoped that his own words that he had told her would.

"It wasn't your fault that I got kidnapped," Jay mumbled, knowing exactly where she was going. He sighed. "It wasn't your fault that I got made as a cop at Midway. I walked into a trap."

"Exactly," she stated, trying not to look too smug. "You didn't know that David would be waiting for me. I walked into a trap. It wasn't your fault just like you told me that Derek Keys wasn't mine."

"You saved me though," Jay protested.

"And so did you!" Erin shot back. "Look at you right now! You're in the hospital, yet again because you pushed yourself to save me." Her lips pulled into a small smile. "I'm only here because of you." She caught his lips in a firm kiss to emphasize her point. Jay tried to deepen the kiss by tugging her body closer but Erin put a stop to it by pulling away. She didn't think it was such a smart idea to make out with a guy who had just suffered from smoke inhalation. Instead, she laid a sweet kiss on his forehead, her lips lingering for a minute.

"I guess we save each other," Jay whispered, his breath tickling her neck. She bent her head down to look at his face. "That's what we do, right?"

She nodded. "Damn right."

They laid in the small bed, side by side. Erin had her head tucked under Jay's chin, his hand running up and down her arm rhythmically. It was just the perfect peace and quiet they needed after a grueling few days. Just the two of them together. Erin's eyes were about to flutter close for some much needed sleep when Jay's voice broke the silence.

"David, he's in custody right?" Erin nodded, her hair tickling Jay's chin.

"Yeah, they took him in and processed him. He spent the night in lock up before being transferred over to MCC until his trial. He's not going to make bail, not after everything he's done. Not to mention, he's a flight risk."

"Good," Jay voiced strongly, disdain and disgust rang out strongly in just one word.

"How did you know I was missing anyway?" Erin asked, shifting her body so she could wrap her arm around his waist.

"Oh. Uh…" Jay paused, his fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose as he thought of a reply. He didn't want to relieve the harrowing moment when his stomach dropped at finding out that Erin was taken. Nor did he want to accidentally spill out the fact that he was hiding a ring. One that she almost found. "Uh, I just got a bad feeling."

"You got a bad feeling?" Erin repeated, almost amused at his answer. "Like you're psychic?"

"Like an intuition. Not like I'm freaking Ms. Cleo or something, Erin," Jay argued, indignant. Erin laughed at Jay's reply. It was always a good sign when Jay was being his usual smartass self. She pressed her face against his chest, her shoulders still shaking from her laughter. Soon enough, Jay was laughing along with her, his chest rumbling against Erin. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head and his arm hugging her tighter to his chest. "You're ridiculous," he mumbled adoringly.

Erin let out a hum at his remark. "So continue. You got a bad feeling— an intuition. And you just decided to check yourself out of the hospital against medical advice?"

"What else was I supposed to do?" Jay responded. "Keep lying in bed like an ass when you were missing?"

"How about putting your own health first, for one?" Erin shot back. Jay just scoffed, like it wasn't even an option for him. "You could've gotten really hurt, Jay," she pointed out, her voice softening. She didn't even want to dwell on the many ways Jay's health could've worsened because he was exerting him to look for her. They were very lucky that the doctor told them that Jay would make a full recovery. He needed rest. A lot of it and Erin was determined on making sure that he'd get that rest. Even if she had to tie him to the bed and be his home nurse.

"I'm fine," Jay asserted, using his two favorite words. Erin rolled her eyes, knowing that Jay was as hard headed as they came. Always determined to play the tough guy. She placed her hand on his chest.

"Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?" Erin asked, wanting him to be more comfortable.

Jay shook his head, pulling her even closer and placing his chin on top of her head again. "No, I have everything I need right here."

Erin smiled against his chest. "I'm really glad that you got that intuition," she confessed quietly, her eyes clutching shut at the possibility of what could've happened if Jay never found her.

He sighed, pressing a firm kiss on her forehead. "I'm just happy that I trusted it," Jay whispered. "That I trusted a hunch. I don't know, it may make me sound cheesy and ridiculous but I like feeling like we're connected in inexplicable ways." He chuckled, laughing at his own confession.

"Me too," Erin agreed, pressing her face on his chest. She closed her eyes, Jay's soft strokes on her arm lulling her to sleep. The last thought that ran through her head before she slipped into slumber was that she was more than ready to be connected to Jay, in life and in matrimony.

Erin and Jay knew that their peaceful and quiet atmosphere couldn't last forever. A few hours later, Voight and Burgess arrived to check up on them.

"Everyone sends their best," Kim stated, giving them a warm smile. "We're all just really glad that you're going to be fine, Halstead."

"Thanks," Jay said, sounding a bit uncomfortable with the attention. Erin placed her hand over his in a comforting gesture. Jay never liked it when the attention was on him.

"You doing fine Halstead?" Voight's voice was not as friendly as Kim but the genuine concern was clear in his question.

"Great," Jay replied, Voight raising his eyebrow at the stock answer. "Really, I'm fine. I'm just glad the whole thing's over with."

"Speaking of which," Voight began, scratching his nose and looking at Erin. "David's not gonna be a problem anymore. He'll probably never see the light of day again."

"Good," Erin stated vehemently. As far as she was concerned, rotting away in a prison cell was exactly where David belonged. But as she watched Voight's troubled face, she knew he wasn't done with his news just yet. "But…." she hedged, knowing Voight had more to say.

"They're booking Bunny but I've heard chitchats that they're going to let her out with bail," Voight revealed. "At least until her trial."

Jay and Erin looked at each other, wondering what the other was feeling and thinking. To be honest, Erin was just exhausted at this point and she couldn't mustered up enough energy to get angry that once again, Bunny wouldn't have to sit in jail just yet and pay the price for her mistakes. She saw that Jay was feeling the same way as her.

"You know Hank, at this point I just don't care anymore," Erin conveyed with a shrug. "I want Bunny to pay for what she did and I hope that when her case goes to trial, the jury would find her guilty because she is. But everything else, I'm just done."

Jay reached over and held her hand. "Me too," he added. "Bunny is not my favorite person and would never be my favorite person. But she did give us the location in the end, even if the info didn't pan out."

Voight nodded. "Listen kiddo, they're going to take her to the courthouse to arraign her soon. If you want to get any last word in, now's your chance."

Erin wet her lips, debating if she even wanted to see Bunny again. Even though Jay had told her that Bunny did come through for her in the end, it was too little too late.

"I don't know," Erin sighed. Jay gave her a smile, letting her know that he supported her with whatever she decided.

"I think it'll do you some good to get some closure, kid," Voight advised. Erin nodded, knowing that Voight was right. She needed to say a few final things to her mother and she could close that chapter of her life for good.

"You're right." Erin stood up. "I need to see her." She turned back to Jay. "I don't want to leave you alone though."

"Erin, I'll be fine," Jay stated. Erin still looked hesitant.

"I'll stay with Halstead," Voight offered, both Erin and Jay looking surprised. "Burgess can take you to the station and I'll stay with Halstead until you come back."

Erin was about to reject his offer, knowing that Jay wouldn't exactly be comfortable with Voight's presence. But before she could, Jay cut in.

"See, Voight will be here. Go ahead, Erin." Erin frowned, wondering why Jay who was usually so tense and uncomfortable around Voight was suddenly fine with being left alone in the same room as him.

"Okay fine," she said, her voice still wary. She bent down to kiss him quickly on the lips. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Jay nodded. "Thanks Hank." Hank acknowledged her with a nod of his own.

Kim waited for Erin by the door, Erin shuffling to the exit slowly. Before she left, she turned back around.

"Get some rest," she ordered sternly, making sure Jay knew that she was serious with her demand.

"Yes, ma'am," Jay replied, trying to sound serious to tease her. Erin glared at him one last time before she exited, following Kim out the exit.

Erin watched Bunny sit with her hands crossed in the interrogation room, her mother unaware of her presence on the other side of the mirror. Erin sighed, trying to come up with things she wanted to say to her mother. But she quickly found that futile. She couldn't prepare for a conversation with Bunny beforehand. Bunny was unpredictable and manipulative and Erin's prepared speech would just be rendered useless.

She just wanted to pull the bandage off so she exited the observation room and headed a door down. Bunny looked surprised when she saw Erin.

"Erin," Bunny breathed out. "You're okay! I was so worried when Jay told me that David took you."

Jay had also clued Erin in on how he got Bunny to give up the location of David's warehouse. Of how much convincing it took first and how Bunny tried to get a deal for herself first. Not that Erin was exactly surprised that her mom tried to save her own behind. If anything, Erin was more surprised that Bunny ended up giving Jay the location at all.

"As you can see, I'm fine," Erin stated, waving her hand. She sat down in front of Bunny, her jaw tense.

"Good, baby. I had no idea that David would do that. No clue!"

"Really?" Erin asked, frowning. "You're telling me that you had no idea that the guy who kidnapped women and girls and forced them to have sex with other men so he could get rich could never kidnap me?"

Bunny sighed, knowing that Erin wasn't buying her bullshit. "You're his daughter Erin. I seriously thought that he wouldn't do that. Not to you."

"Why not?" Erin shot back. "I mean aside from sharing half of my DNA, he's no more of a father to me than Mr. Rogers. He didn't give a damn about me. Never has and never will. He only cares about himself." Erin shook her head. "And that's fine, you know. I don't need or want him in my life. Blood means nothing to me."

"You don't mean that Erin," Bunny croaked. "I'm your blood. I'm your mother. We're family!"

Erin chuckled derisively. "Frankly Bunny, that means jackshit to me." Bunny tried to reach for Erin's hand across the table but Erin quickly pulled it out of her reach.

"Erin."

"No, Bunny." Erin sucked in her cheeks, trying to sound emotionless. She was done shedding tears for her mother, done twisting herself inside out for someone who would never love her like a mother should love a daughter. Erin wasn't hurt. She just didn't want to care anymore.

"Erin," Bunny repeated. "I will always be your mother."

Erin let out a soft laugh. "Yeah, that's a fact I can't change. I can only control how I react to it. You're probably gonna make bail, Bunny. I hope you saved up enough money or have someone you can call who will post bail for you. Because I sure as hell won't. And when you go to trial, I hope they find you guilty and you pay for everything that you've done to all those women and girls that you hurt. But whatever happens to you, I'm done." She swallowed and her face hardened. "We're done, Bunny. For good."

Jay kept looking over at Voight as the older man sat in the chair across from him, his arms crossed and his eyes on the television playing the news. Jay was working up his nerve to talk to Voight, the real reason why he was fine with Voight staying behind.

"You got something to say to me Halstead? Or am I just too pretty that you can't take your eyes off of me?" Voight thundered from where he was sitting, Jay flinching at the sudden question. He had no idea that Voight knew Jay was watching him.

Jay exhaled, trying to look brave. Hell, he was a Ranger. He could do this.

"I do have something to say to you," Jay began, Voight's eyebrow lifting in intrigue. "I know that the past couple of days have been chaotic and Erin's been through a lot with her….with David and Bunny."

Voight crossed his arms tighter and leaned backwards into his seat more, a stoic expression on his face.

"David and Bunny might be Erin's biological parents but they're not her mom or her dad," Jay continued, feeling braver as he let out his thoughts. "You are by all means Erin's father. At least in all the ways that matter. I know she loves you and I'm so grateful to you for stepping up when she needed you because I don't know where me and Erin would be if you hadn't. You're the reason why she came into my life and it's now a life that I can't imagine without her in it." Jay felt beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead as Voight gave no indication that he knew where Jay was going with his speech. That same damn stoic look on his face.

Jay sat up straighter in his bed, pulling the blanket off of him. He was about to do something important and he wasn't going to look like some helpless fool while doing so.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with Erin," Jay stated, his voice strong and confident. "I'm going to ask Erin to marry me."

He waited, gauging Voight's reaction. The older man was giving him nothing.

"So what?" Voight finally spoke. "You want my permission?"

Jay shook his head. "No." He could tell that he took Voight by surprise with his reply. "I'm not asking you for permission. I think we both know that Erin would kill me if I did," he added with a fond laugh. "But like I said, you are someone important to her and I wanted to let you know before I do. Man to man. Father to a guy that's hopelessly in love with your daughter."

Voight puckered his lips, his expression unreadable. After what felt like hours, Voight stood up and approached Jay in his bed. Jay watched with wary eyes, wondering if Voight was going to punch him in the face for telling him that he was proposing to Erin.

"You know how I felt about you and Erin getting together at first," Voight said. "I tried to keep you guys apart, thinking that it was the best thing for both of you. But I was wrong and I can admit that. You promise me years ago that you'd always have Erin's back." Jay nodded, remembering the promise he made to Voight right in the middle of the station. "You've proven over and over again that you'd keep your promise."

Jay tried not the flinch when Voight suddenly reached over and placed his free hand on Jay's shoulders.

"I need you to make me another promise," Voight began, squeezing Jay's shoulders.

"Anything."

"I need you to promise me that you'll continue loving Erin the same way you do right now. That you'll continue having her back and you'll make her happy."

Jay looked right into Voight's eyes, nothing but certainty and determination in them. "I promise, always."

Voight nodded. He held his hand out, Jay's eyes widening at the gesture. Jay brought his hand up and shook Voight's hand.

"Then I guess all I can say is welcome to the family, Halstead. I'll make sure to put away my shotgun when you come over for dinner."

Jay laughed, releasing an exhale of relief. Voight cracking a joke. Or at least Jay hoped. That was reassuring. Now all he had to do was find the perfect way to propose.

"Are you okay?" Kim asked as she waited for Erin by the lockers. Erin was splashing water on her face after her conversation with Bunny.

"Yeah," Erin replied, drying her face off with some paper towel. "I just really needed that."

Kim walked over next to Erin and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"If you want to talk, you know I'm here," Kim offered, Erin giving her friend a grateful smile.

"I know. Thank you," Erin replied, pulling her partner into a hug. She rubbed Kim's back, appreciative of the fact that she had a good friend to rely on.

"Ready to go back and see Halstead?"

Erin smiled, itching to be back by Jay's side. But she wasn't quite ready yet. She had another plan of her own first.

"Actually, I do need your help with something," Erin began, Kim giving her a curious look.

"Sure, what do you need help with?" Kim asked, sounding both curious and unsure of what Erin wanted.

"You're the romantic one out of the two of us and you're so creative."

"Alright, enough with the compliments," Kim said, laughing. "I told you that I'll help. Now what do you need help with?"

Erin exhaled, excitement bubbling through her. "I need you to help me come up with the perfect way to propose to Jay."