The Only Winning Move Is Overwhelming Firepower

Chapter 18

It Just Works

"Todd!" I bellow from the air several hundred feet above the parking lot.

A small man who used to have big visions places a hand over his eyes. "What?" he calls up. "Who are you? Are you flying?! How?"

"Physics, Todd! They just work!" A second later I drop to the asphalt, allowing my legs to make their true metallic clangs for once. I then walk the couple of feet towards a very surprised Howard and hand him the copy of Executive Order 66 in my hand. "But you don't, because you're fired!"

I leave behind his gaping, shocked form as I waltz straight into Bethesda Softworks HQ, a somewhat busy lobby meeting my eyes on the other side of the door.

"Hey!" I shout, ensuring my voice resounds in the large, mostly empty of furniture entryway.

The employees, some of them at least, stop what they're doing and look at me. Every one of them is confused. After a moment, I see recognition in a few of their eyes, and I grin.

"I own you now!" I inform them. "Fancy order from the President and everything. I fired Todd, he's out front. It's time to make Bethesda great again!"

The cheer is slow to start, but boy is it loud.

"It's real," the assistant ssys, hanging up his phone call with D.C. Funnily enough, he's not a not-SHIELD agent. Just a really good assistant. To Tina Howard.

Yes. That Howard. He apparently has a kid in this universe. I don't know where Writer Me gets this stuff from, but I'd put good odds it's from the character and quest generator he must've finally got working to a usable level.

Tina Howard sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Okay, great, fine," she grumbled at me. "You've taken over Bethesda from my father. Ignoring that I was supposed to run it eventually, as is my right, what the hell do you want with us?" Her glare of hate is legendary.

I grin, lean back in my comfy executives chair at the other end of the long conference table from her own head chair, and shrug. "Not much, actually."

Tina blinks. She's the spitting image of her father, only blonde and for once on the slimmer side. Given most of the other women I've run into in this universe, I've been beginning to worry that one anime rule in particular (just size starts at a C or you're flat, no in between) was in full effect. Nope, just coincidence. Anyways, so it is that a female, blonde Todd Howard looks at me with no small degree of shock.

"What do you mean?" she hesitantly asks.

"I seized Bethesda to get ownership of Argus, the company that created SAO and NerveGear and was started by Akihiko Kayaba. I don't really have any plans to make you guys do anything."

Tina blinks again. She stares at me for several long seconds, then leans back and sighs. "Why then did you fire my father?" she demands.

I raise two fingers and pronounce the words like they're pure poison. "Fallout. 76."

Tina has the good grace to wince, and the assistant looks way before his huge grin can be seen by me. Too bad for him I've got effective omniscience in the building due to the cloaked nanite swarm that follows me around. Or rather… is following me. I came up with the idea on the flight over here from D.C. after reflecting on the Nanite Storm which lets Elsa do what she does. Why not have my own to ape my own superpowers, right?

"I wish I didn't have to agree with you that you've been fair," Tina grouses, crossing her arms.

I shrug. "Hey, I may not have any plans but I never said I didn't have possibilities in mind," I offer, extending her an olive branch.

"I know a pitch when I hear one, Planetcaller. Spit it out."

I mean forward and plant my hands on the table. "I am an alien from space." Technically true, I'm not from this Earth which makes me alien and came here from space, "and Bethesda's games used to be amazing. I get bored. I want good games again."

Tina scowled. "The stockholders and marketing won't let that happen," she almost automatically responds.

"Good thing I eminent domained them then, huh?" I fire back, grinning wide. I lean back in my chair, spread my arms, and spin around to indicate the whole building. "Bethesda answers to me and me alone now!"

Tina frowns, glaring at me again. "You owe me 15% of the company at the least," she declares.

It's my turn to blink. "Wait, your dad only gave you 15%? Really?"

Tina sighs and rolls her eyes. "You're not the first person to notice."

Her assistant, James I think, raises his hand and waves silently.

"Anyways, what do I have to do to get that back?" she presses me, narrowing her eyes.

A moment's thought is all it takes. "Nothing except don't get in my way," I offer.

"In your way for what?" she asks, honestly curious. "You don't have any plans for Bethesda, you said it yourself. How could I get in the way of that which doesn't exist?"

"Fair point," I agree. "I'm going to be focused on Argus anyways. But if a citation comes up where you could be in the way of something I wish done, my condition for this is that you step out of said way."

Tina grimaced. "Those are awfully broad terms."

I shrug, entirely unrepentant for the pun I'm about to make. "Hey, I'm a broad guy."

Tina closes her eyes and groans in mock pain. "Fine. I agree to your terms."

"Very well, enjoy your 49%," I inform her, grinning wide.

Her eyes bug out and she slumps in her large chair. "W-what?" she manages to squeak.

James, the assistant, has his eyebrows attempting to hit orbit.

"Hey, that's what you should've had," I declare, internally sending off the incredibly complicated series of network commands and form materializations (because did you really believe I actually fill in my paperwork? Please). "Anyways, as I said I will be working with Argus. Also, I want good video games. So, here's the project I'm setting Bethesda on right now." I stand up and point to double oak doors, on the other side of which it seems the entirety of the other staff are listening in via a very clever jerry rigging of an array of stethoscopes and a few computers, "I want you to make a new MMO."

Tina shakes herself out of her shock just enough to reply. "You saw how well that went for us last time," she laments.

I nod, agreeing. "Right," I state. "Which is why this is a bit larger of a project than you're used to, and you'll have my support and resources behind it." I stand up to my full height, put my hands on my hips, and positively beam. "Bethesda Online. Every universe. Fallout, Elder Scrolls, SAO. All in the same engine, a worldwide MMO, and FullDive compatible."

Tina gulps. "That's… That's ambitious."

I vehemently nod. "Damn right it is."

"Too ambitious!" she continues. She bolts up from her chair and starts pacing, tossing her hands about above her head. "The funding, the engine itself, the developers, the systems needed to run such a thing, not to mention we don't even own the IPs-"

Wait, what? "Hold on, what do you mean you don't own them?" I ask, genuinely confused. "This is Bethesda, isn't it?"

She halts her rambling to turn and glance askance at me. "Yes, Bethesda Game Studios," she confirms.

As if that's supposed to explain the IP thing. "Right. Bethesda. IP owners of the things Bethesda owns. As you do."

James snickers under his breath, doing his damndest not to chuckle, or worse.

Tina directs a look at me that reminds me a lot of the look Kate gives me when she thinks I'm fucking with her. "Bethesda Game Studios, this company, my company, doesn't own our own IPs," she explains. Slowly, no doubt thinking I'm retarded.

I'm not. I just didn't know this. I raise my eyebrows and cross my arms. "Who does then?"

"Bethesda Softworks, the original Bethesda, which is owned by... I guess our now previous corporate overlords, ZeniMax."

I groan and put my head in my hands. "Alright, which country do I have to go annoy the leader of? Germany? Switzerland? It better not be Russia, I'm not interested in dealing with them right now."

Tina looks entirely taken aback by my complaining. "Uhm… none of those," she warily answers. "Softworks and ZeniMax are both in Maryland. They're down the street."

She helpfully points down the street visible out the massive conference room windows to show me that yes indeed the Softworks/ZeniMax building is right where I can see it.

"Huh. Aight, I'll be right back-" I start to walk towards the doors, but then I pause. Something occurs to me.

...Kate isn't that clever, is she?

'All their American businesses' is what she said. Did she do more than I thought she did? Is this why that dumbass redcoat was trying to stop me?

"Planetcaller?" Tina asks hesitantly.

"We may not have a problem at all," I say. I fabricate a copy of Executive Order 66 and look at it so that I can actually check. Thankfully I took a full molecular scan of the thing before I handed it off to Todd Howard…

Oh boy, that's a lot of bullshit and fancy words I don't want to even attempt to understand.

Planetcaller: read this part! sticks out to me among all the bureaucratic jargon.

I raise my eyebrows, but do as Kate has written anyways.

By order of myself and with the powers vested in me as President of the United States of America, I hereby seize by eminent domain complete control of the aftermentioned corporate entities, and all subsidiaries:

Really, Kate? This is supposed to be easy for me to read?

Whatever.

I let my eyes drift down the document and halt at the three listed companies, not just one.

1. Bethesda Softworks

2. Bethesda Game Studios

3. ZeniMax Media

"I own them all," I barely breathe out, eyes lighting up.

Tina, now much closer to me, peers at the order. "Holy shit," she swears.

My grin is legendary. "Tina, this project just got a whole lot bigger. We're using all the IPs. All the universes. I want teams of Dragonborn, Demon Slayers, Swordsmen, Wanderers, Elves and Blades fighting Alduin, Nazis and Satan!"

Tina looks at me like I'm nuts. "All in FullDive? As an MMO? No servers in the world can take all of that! Plus, the NerveGear isn't really equipped for that much simulation..."

I shake my head and scoff. Tina, Tina, Tina," I admonish her. "I'm an alien superintelligence running on a platform made up of millions of nanites and I have access to effectively Ex Nihilo matter and energy generation. My servers have a theoretical processing and storage capacity rating of Fuck Your Unit System It Can't Quantify Me. I will give the combined teams of all these companies anything you ask for, unlimited resources, no deadline, and effectively total freedom. Even if I have to host this new game in the center of the moon."

A muted thump brings me back to reality, and I turn to look at where Tina is.

Or rather, where she was.

As James rushes over, I realize she's fainted. "Oh…" I say, instantly reclaiming the copy of Executive Order 66. I bend down with James to pick her up, hoisting most of her effectively non-existent weight on my arm.

A simple scan of her body and a few references against medical databases I probably am not supposed to be able to read like open books confirms what I guessed using my own medical knowledge.

"She just fainted," I inform James.

He lets out a relieved breath. "Good. That's… she hit her head really hard, it sounded like."

I agree with him and lead us over to Tina's no doubt comfy executive chair, laying her down in it gently. "She'll be fine."

"Thanks, uh… sir," James replies, a questioning note to his tone.

I wave him off and shake my head. "Planetcaller's fine. It's a cool name, and I despise the respect thing."

Speaking of…

A single thought is all it takes to activate my thrusters a miniscule amount so I'm not actually walking on the floor, and thus making no noise. I hover around the conference table until I'm in front of the double doors, then put a hand on each golden gilded ornate handle.

I twist and yank the doors open inward in the same motion, breaking out into my biggest smile yet at the essential pile of people suddenly looking like deer in my headlights.

I throw up my hands much like Tina had and give them the good news. "Project Multiverse is a go!" I exclaim, making sure my voice booms through the building by emanating it from my nanite storm.

The roar of applause and cheer matches the announcement in volume, easily.