Tak sat on the sidewalk, leaning against Zim's fence and making sure she stayed out of sight from the security cameras. Her fingers tapped an impatient rhythm on the top of the gift box by her side. She kept her eyes trained on the street, waiting for the SIR unit to arrive home.

It'd been years since she first came to Urth and tried to snatch the planet out from under that undeserving worm. She told herself it was nothing personal. The Irken Elite didn't get caught up in petty personal vendettas. It was about proving her herself worthy as an invader and proving Zim unfit for even a fake mission. She'd lied to herself then. Not anymore.

She made a few more attempts over the years. Each time Zim and those meddlesome humans thwarted her. Every failure ended with her going off-planet to regroup and examine where she went wrong. After so many defeats, she finally had to admit to herself this was personal. This was about Zim and her fatal flaw was underestimating him.

A whistled tune caught her antenna and she looked up to see Zim's SIR unit, called GIR, walking toward the base. He was dressed in his dog costume and he carried a bag of groceries. She stood up and put on a fake smile as the robot skipped its way over.

"Excuse me," she said, her voice gratingly sweet. "Aren't you Zim's SIR unit?"

"Hellooo…" Gir sing-songed in reply.

"Listen, I know Zim and I haven't had the best relationship and I wanted to make it up to him. I got him this present to say sorry for all the times I tried to ruin his mission. Could you make sure he gets it? There's a jumbo bag of gummy bears in it for you."

"Okie-dokie!" The head of GIR's costume opened up and a claw arm flew out of his head. It snatched the gift box and drew it back inside his head's storage compartment. He then gave her a little wave and scampered into the house.

Once he was inside, Tak got down and army-crawled to the base's window, careful not to set off any motion sensors. As she peered inside, she could see Zim, sitting on the couch, looking over something on an Irken computing tablet.

"GIR, good, you're home," he said, not looking up from his work. "I've just finished drawing up the plans for-"

"I got a present for you!" GIR squealed as the gift box popped out of his head.

"Eh? A gift for Zim?"

GIR nodded vigorously.

"Huh." Zim set aside the tablet and slid off the couch. "Well, thank you GIR," he said, picking up the box. "Wait, this isn't full of moldy tacos again, is it?"

GIR shrugged "I dunno."

"You don't know?"

GIR shook his head.

"This isn't from you?"

GIR shook again.

Zim narrowed his eyes and examined the box. He gave it a light shake and placed an antenna on it to listen. Finally, he looked at the tag.

TAk smiled. She could imagine his heart dropping as he read the words.

"Night-night? Tak?" Zim threw the box on the ground. "Computer! Activate defensive maneuver number-"

Before he could finish, MiMi jumped out of the box holding an electrified shocking fork. She jabbed it into his neck. Electricity coursed through his body and he fell to the floor in a heap.

"Master?" GIR gave Zim a poke.

MiMi swept to the door and let Tak in. Once inside, she disabled her human disguise. "He's napping," she said, dropping a large bag of Urth candy at GIR's feet. "Here's your gummy bears. I'll take him downstairs to rest."

The SIR unit began gleefully digging through the bag as Tak grabbed Zim's ankle and dragged him to the kitchen. MiMi followed close behind. They took the elevator down to the base's main computer lab and walked over to the control panel. She stuck Zim's body in the control seat and plugged in his PAK. The computer lit up, showing a log-in screen. She placed Zim's hand on the identification pad and, just like that, she gained access to the computer network.

"MiMi, restrain him."

Her SIR until gave a solute, then pulled a roll of duct tape out oh her head and taped Zim down.

Tak turned back to the computer and inserted a programing disc. She grinned as her coding filled the screen. It was her best work yet, a near perfect copy of the Control Brain's PAK reading system. Only the Massive held such technology. She'd waited three Urth years for this moment. Three years of consorting with shady figures from the back alleys of space. Three years of making deals with backdoor hackers. Three years of trading favors to gain access to the technology she needed. It all lead up to this moment, the moment when she finally learned how to crush Zim once and for all.

MiMi tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned to look, MiMi pointed to Zim and made a slashing motion across her throat.

"No, Mimi, we can't kill him yet." It was true. She could easily kill him now while he was vulnerable, but it wouldn't be satisfying. When she finally claimed her vengeance, she wanted his eyes to be wide open.

The computer dinged, alerting her that the program was ready to run. She turned back to the screen and looked into the wicked eyes of her own reflection. "Alright, let's see what makes Zim, Zim."

She swiped her hand across the control panel, opening a starting page. It outlined Zim's basic information.

Name: Zim

Age: 16.6

Occupation: Food Service Drone

Assignment: Foodcourtia, Banishment.

So far, so good. Now she just had to run the error check simulation. She typed in the command and waited for the program to work its magic. When it finished, the alert sound blared and the word DEFECTIVE flashed across the screen in big, red letters.

"Hmmm… No surprise there, MiMi, but I need more. Let's get more specific."

She typed in a few more commands and the screen showed her a list of all of Zim's defective areas broken down by category. The list was long, too long to go over before Zim woke. Two categories caught her eye: PAK Installations and Irken Traits. These two seemed curious. She opened the file for PAK Installations first. A list popped up.

PAK Installations

Perseverance: 89342/10

Loyalty: 324/10

Penchant for destruction: 352301/10

Susceptibility to propaganda: 134/10

Tak's mouth turned downward as she read over the list. Every Irken knew the PAK boosted certain personality traits to ensure successful service to the Empire. However, only the highest-ranking PAK engineers knew what. Some of these were to be expected. Of course, an Irken must persevere in the face of opposition and remain loyal to the Empire. Those were obvious. And she supposed a soldier must be capable of a little destruction. But susceptibility to propaganda?

She switched off the PAK Installations and looked into Irken Traits. Surely this section would reveal enhancements made to the already superior race. Why else would the PAKs monitor their natural Irken inclinations?

Irken Traits

Creativity: 3342/0

Personal ambition: 3625/0

Need for companionship: 334/0

Need for affection: 3420/0

Sense of individuality: 4280/0

Survival instinct: 4406/2

Tak took a step back as she analyzed what this meant. Suspicion crept through her like a parasite and the truth glared down at her from a screen. Irken traits were meant to be blocked? This couldn't be the norm. There had to be some mistake. Zim was a defective after all. Perhaps these blocks were just part of his defects. Or maybe his PAK was changed after the mess he made of Impending Doom I. Yes, that must be it. The Control Brains must have tried to take away certain skills to prevent further disasters. But if these blocks were deliberate, why didn't the levels match up? Surely the Control Brain would have caught these errors during re-encoding. And could she even be certain that these blocks were unique to Zim? To be sure, she'd have to compare his results to those of a standard PAK.

Her hand unconsciously reached back and brushed the top of hers. It was the only PAK immediately available. She hadn't tested the program on herself before. It would have been the smart thing to do, instead of coming all this way without testing it on a real PAK. She told herself that her ship wouldn't have enough power to generate a full reading, but that wasn't entirely true. She could have at least attempted a partial reading, just to make sure. What stopped her?

She unplugged Zim's PAK and plugged in her own. Her start page appeared on the screen.

Name: Tak

Age: 16.9

Occupation: Janitorial Squad

Assignment: Dirt (planet)

She scowled at her demeaning encoding. It should read "invader" or at the very least "Irken Elite." She had everything they wanted. She excelled at every training. She passed every testing simulation she took. She made herself the best of the best. The final test should have been a mere formality. If not for the idiot taped to the chair behind her, she would be in her rightful place.

She typed in the command for the error check. Yet another formality as far as she was concerned. It was required to view her own stats. An error reading should be impossible. After all, she was everything the empire wanted her to be. She worked, and studied, and molded herself into the shape of a perfect Irken soldier. There was no way she could be…

DEFECTIVE

The word flashed across the screen in glaring red letters. The alert sound shook her antenna and the light from the screen burned her eyes. Her mouth fell open and her body broke into a sweat. "No! It can't be!" She must have gone wrong somewhere, made some mistake. It was the software. That was it. That was the problem, not her PAK.

You know that's not true, her own sinister mind whispered back to her. It was right. The PAKs were designed to be completely secure from enemy tampering. A PAK could only be accessed with specific Irken equipment and software. If there was a flaw in her coding, it should not have connected to the PAK at all. The only way for her to even be seeing this word was if her software perfectly imitated that of the Control Brain's programing.

She pressed on, swiping straight to the PAK Installations.

PAK Installations

Perseverance: 1344/10

Loyalty: 10/10

Penchant for destruction: 10/10

Susceptibility to propaganda: 5/10

So, at least her errors were not as off as Zim's. Her loyalty and penitent for destruction were at the ideal levels according to the reading. But her susceptibility to propaganda was too low? And perseverance too high? And these were considered errors? Were these not good qualities to have? There was something strange going on here, to be sure.

She swiped over the Irken traits.

Irken Traits

Creativity: 3542/0

Personal ambition: 5437/0

Need for companionship: 23/0

Need for affection: 10/0

Sense of individuality: 4281/0

Individual survival instinct: 4192/2

A smug smile came to her face when she realized her creativity and ambition outmatched Zim's, but it quickly disappeared when she saw what her ideal levels were. Zeros all around, just like him. According to the reading, she should have no creativity, no ambition, no individuality… She barely even had a survival instinct. She should be nothing. Was this what the Empire really wanted? Just mindless drones?

This wasn't right. Something deep down in her gut told her so. These characteristics were assets. They were what helped make the Irken race so great. But if Irkens were superior, why were their natural traits being blocked? Something was wrong, very wrong.

Perhaps the problem was in the encoding. She and Zim were technically assigned to menial occupations when they both had the training of the Irken Elite. Their jobs didn't match their skill-level. Tak was clearly meant for something greater and Zim… Zim was an anomaly all his own.

But even if that was the case, these stats still didn't make sense. Did a janitor or food service drone not have the right to see themselves as an individual? Did they not deserve the ambition to aspire to something greater? Or to be creative in their assigned professions? And what did a level 2 survival instinct entail, anyway? Just the wherewithal to get out of the way of a crashing ship? Or the ability to look before falling off a cliff? Nothing about this added up.

Still, she only had the data for 2 allegedly defective Irkens of low rank. If she wanted answers, she'd have to look at a PAK which bore a higher rank. Luckily, she knew just where to find one.

"MiMi," she said, shutting down her program and removing the disc. "We're leaving."

MiMi cocked her head to the side and pointed at Zim.

"Leave him for now. Something more important has come up."

MiMi nodded and followed Tak out of the room.

After a quick raid of Zim's fuel stores, Tak and MiMi made their way out of the base. They went to the backyard where she parked her ship. She uncloaked it, revealing a grey, outdated, Vortian vessel. It was all she'd been able to acquire since she was forced to eject from her Spittle Runner. Yet another loss she could attribute to Zim. It wasn't quite up to the standards of modern Irken vehicles, but she'd been able to modify it to run on an Irken operating system. At the very least, it allowed her to blend in both inside and out of Irken controlled space.

As MiMi added fuel to the tank's ship, Tak climbed inside. "Computer," she commanded, waking the ship's A.I.

"Yes Master," the robotic voice answered.

She'd never bothered to download her personality into the A.I. like she had on the Spittle Runner. It didn't feel right. Her last ship was her pride and joy. She'd turned that thing from a pile of scrap metal to a vessel capable of outrunning even the latest creations of the Irken military engineers. That ship was worthy of her mark. What she wouldn't give to have it back.

"Awaiting orders," the computer reminded her.

MiMi finished fueling and hopped into the cockpit.

"Computer, bring up the coordinates of the last known location of Invader Skoodge."