The Life and Times of an Average Coward

Chapter 08: Lost and Something New

At my tender age of eight, this must've been the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life next to agreeing to train how to kill vampiric monsters. Another freaking Jojo reference in my new life.

Shit, where am I? How do I go back to Jii-chan?!

You see, I am currently lost in the woods. Correction, the woods of the mountain that the dumbass me decided to scale because it reminded me somewhat of Mt. Sagiri.

How the hell it reminded me of the bamboo mountain forest I would never know but in my frantic mind earlier it kinda looked like the mountain that I've always called home. Maybe I was hallucinating a bit at that time too and I wouldn't be surprised since I'm crying rivers that could have led to dehydration that then resulted the lack of oxygen in my brain that kept my spatial awareness in check.

This place is hella scary, I could almost feel the eyes that were glaring at me at every corner and the sound of breathing that gave the forest its life leering down on my neck, the predators waiting for the right opportune moment to pounce on a weakass prey such as myself.

Goddamnit! I-I shouldn't have run away! If only, if only I'm not such a fucking coward!

Disgust, guilt, fear and a good dollop of self-loathing entered me, eyes prickling once again, burning from the want to just curl up and weep like the pathetic small human that I am. Insignificant, small and – Useless little bitch! Useless just like that fucking piano that you love to play! It's all your fault why I'm stuck in this fucking marriage! It's all your fault that your bitch of a Mother doesn't want to fuck with me – patheticpatheticpatheticpatheticpathet―

A hand grabbed my shoulder. "Are you alright child?"

The scream that left me was pretty much expected and the looming face of a white eyed giant with a creepy forest backdrop had my brain halting functions and my heart going into a fucking pumping marathon in a second that left me with a frothing mouth and a blackening vision.

I passed out without much extra thought other than, shit.

He panted, his bones filled with deep exhaustion – a two or five of them might be even broken, he doesn't care or even remember where he had gotten them broken – gashes deep and shallow littered his skin that had his uniform tattered in some places, blood marking his pale skin.

Maybe he should have listened to the talking bird with long lashes and let himself rest in a house that caters to demon slayers. What was the symbol of that family again? Something to do with flowers? He doesn't know nor he remembers.

He'd always been like that.

Forgetful. He doesn't even remember his own past, his family or who he really was.

All he does retain was that he needs to defeat all these demons, a deep seethed hatred towards them and that he served under Oyakata-sama and is in debt with the man for helping him gain purpose.

He instinctively ducked under a swipe of a claw.

Oh right, I am battling a demon right now.

"Quit dodging pest and let me eat you!" The small gray-skinned demon with three mouths lounged at him with great speed nicking his right shoulder.

I shouldn't let my mind wonder at this time!

"Mist Breathing, Second Form: Eight Layered Mist!"

Tokito Muichiro unleashed multiple slashes on the demons gangly four arms, effectively removing them but out of nowhere the single horn on its forehead elongated and he sidestepped to the left, but it didn't leave him unscathed from the sudden attack that might have pierced his skull.

His hands were now slick with red blood, left hand now rendered into something unfavorable at his current situation.

This is bad. My left hand and right shoulder are injured. I might not be able to use all my strength to finish this in one go and the demon's limbs are still quickly regenerating.

Muichiro's mind whirred to life while dodging attacks left and right while also giving his own counterattacks. The ten year old boy made use of the orchard of peach trees to his advantage in weaving between the looming trees in a great show of agility and footwork for someone remarkably young. Pale turquoise eyes darted across the peaceful scenery, catching sight or a giant rock placed underneath a tree, eight trees behind the demon immediate right, a plausible plan forming in his mind.

Inhaling deeply, he concentrated on his prey. "Mist Breathing, First Form: Hanging Sky, Distant Mist."

With a straightforward strong thrust, he took away the newly grown upper left arm and continued dashing as he weaved in and out, changing his running tempo as he did so to confuse his assailant. Quickly, without a sound, he gave a running leap towards the rock face and used it to take a gigantic leap towards the peach tree's lower branches. Muichiro didn't waste the opportunity and climbed a bit more and proceeded to rip off his sleeve to stem his bleeding hand, his shoulder and other wounds can wait later. Soon enough he would be found with the scent of his blood, but he'll take these few minutes to rest for a moment until the monster had caught up.

Something rustled on the ground, immediately gaining his attention but what he saw almost made him groan in exasperation.

"Uhk… I overslept." The stupid civilian child (who's most likely older than him) whispered to their self, figure too filled with shadows to identify them. "But, what's with that sound? It's almost like…" They got out of the bush where they were nestled underneath before. Why were they sleeping on a, no, I need to focus. No need for that, I just need to protect them.

The child wore a yellow to orange kimono with a white triangle pattern, very bright and noticeable even in the dark. The kid faced the direction where the demon was currently lurking at, quiet in its hunt and seemingly locating where he was.

Where he and the child were.

Muichiro debated whether he should let his presence be known and help out, probably giving out their exact location to the demon ooor wait it out, let the demon have at least a little trouble finding them then once the demon focused on the child – because they were the ones in plain sight they could be at least useful as a good bait and not be a complete deadweight – he would dealt the finishing blow quickly in one move.

With his tired and battered condition, he's leaning on letting it all play out so that he could give his all later with the scant minutes of rest and finish it quickly so that he could finally sleep and treat his accumulated injuries. Now if only the preteen would cooperate.

I really shouldn't have taken five consecutive missions without rest.

"Th-that sound. I-it's a – am I dreaming?" They slapped a hand on their cheek and proceeded to pinch it. "I-I'm not, then that's really that and," The kid looked up, fearful amber eyes almost golden with the pale moonlight illuminating them connected to his own.

The wind picked up, ruffling their respective dark long tresses. "A boy."

The girl, Muichiro decides that they were a girl despite her clothes and masculine address to herself. His instincts claiming it as such.

Another breeze passed and a gray blur came darting towards the girl, ("Gahahahaha! Free meal! Don't mind if I do!") shit I was distracted again now she will be – he quickly swooped downwards a few seconds too late but much to his and the demon's surprise,the girl clumsily jumped to the side and stumbled.

Recovering swiftly, Muichiro took the four armed abomination's surprise as an opening and continued his attack.

"Mist Breathing, Sixth Form: Moonlit Mist."

Muichiro unleashed rapid slashes as he went sailing downwards, taking away the monster's limbs and finally with his last swipe, he cut through its neck while landing softly on his feet. He then flicked his sword to the side, getting rid of the blood and sheathed it with a soft clink.

The demon turned around, body still not registering its physical death at how swift all of that happened.

"I, I know he's dead but maybe you should―" He was unable to hear the girl's next words, much too tired for that.

Damn. He was really tired. Muichiro could use some sleep right now.

"Watch out!" Someone barreled onto him just as a pointed thing (the demon's horn) whizzed pass them and harmlessly retracting back, his breath left his lungs when his back impacted to the ground with the girl from before now straddling him.

"You! – I'm going to –"

Overhead, the demon's body fell apart, limbs and the head perfectly cleaved away from the torso, slowly turning into dust.

"Eek! I'm sorry! Are you okay?!" Warm hands felt nice on his cold cheeks and Muichiro did his all to open his eyes again – When did I close them? – to see the same amber eyes that peered at him before, looking at him with concern and unshed tears.

("Mui-chan are you okay?! Come on, let Kaa-san see that, so that we can fix it.")

Something about her niggled at his mind, somewhat familiar in the way that she gazed down at him with those emotions in her eyes.

Cold wind batted at them again, scattering the ash of the demon he had slain, making him shiver. The girl continues to talk about something but he wasn't really listening nor have the ability to keep up with her rapid fire of words. Muichiro just stared.

He stared at the fallen leaves and twigs that had stuck on the girl's long choppy dark hair, how her hair contrasted of how bright her eyes were (was it amber or was it warm gold?), noting the callouses on her otherwise soft hands that were inspecting him but one hand still remaining on his chilled cheek much to his relief.

"Ahk! I'm still on you! Sorry!" She hurriedly moved away from him, releasing him from the trance.

He tried to sit up but almost fell back again if not for the hand that steadied him.

"Hang in there! I'll carry you to my home so you don't have to worry about walking and then I'll get Kobayashi-sensei to heal you. Will a piggyback be good enough?"

Muichiro gave a nod after a few seconds of registering her words. At this point, he wasn't thinking much clearly but he knows that this girl would not harm him, something about the way she carries herself kept hammering on his head. Maybe it has to do with his loss memory.

("Mui-chan you like it when Kaa-san carry you don't you?")

He doesn't know.

He's just too tired to think right now.

The girl offered her back to him and he looped his arms around her neck. Her hands grabbed the back of his knees and rose to her feet bouncing him up as she did so, so that he could hook his chin onto her shoulder and not fall off if he did doze.

"Don't worry, I'll get you somewhere safe soon." She whispered to him; her way of walking was hurried but not too hurried that it would irritate some of his injuries. It was lulling him to sleep.

This is nice.

I think I like getting piggyback rides.

("Un! I love it when Kaa-san or Tou-san gives me piggyback rides but Nii-san doesn't like it when I ask the both of you.")

Another chill ran pass them and he nestled himself deeper to the girl's shoulder, getting a whiff of the smell of peach blossoms, sweat and the earthy smell of the forest. Muichiro decides that he also likes that smell.

("Kaa-san smells like the forest and I love it.")

His eyes were now drooping, the combination of the warmth, the lulling steps and the humming (wait, someone was humming? Oh, it's the girl) made the thought of rest more appealing than ever.

…

The next time Muichiro opened his eyes, beside him there was a girl with amber eyes who he doesn't remember meeting and an old man with a scar on his face who he doesn't remember meeting.

(Was that even new? He doesn't remember most things, heck, he doesn't even remember who he was sometimes.)

They were both by his bedside, talking to each other. The girl notices him first and something about her gaze needles at his mind. Concern, guilt, joy and relief were clear in her eyes and those ranging emotions wheedles something from him and warms his chest.

("Kaa-san loves you.")

"Are you – erm, how are you feeling?"

Muichiro blinked. "Fine and warm." He answers quietly, serenely. Something inquisitive in his usually blank gaze.

"That's good, that's good. I'm glad that you're good. Here, have some water." She handed him a ceramic cup while helping him sit up.

There was an acute pain on his side where he might have broken a rib or two. He didn't make a sound and supported his own weight when the hand left his back. Muichiro carefully took the cup with two hands and let his dry throat to be finally watered.

Finishing the cup slowly, he took in his surroundings and inhaled.

Definitely broken a few ribs.

The room he was in was bare, folded futons were on his left at the corner, and behind the old man was a sky blue decorative cloth with embroidered cherry blossoms, wisterias and sparrows, across from him was a little barred window, nothing more but to let some light through. Small wind chimes tied on yellow strings dangled in it, tinkling everytime a breeze passes by the small gaps.

He takes in all the plainness and focused on the girl beside him. Muichiro hands her the cup.

"Who are you?" He tilts his head slightly, blank turquoise eyes staring straight to warm gold.

Gosh. This boy is even prettier than me, an actual girl.

"O-Oh what was that again? I wasn't really… paying attention." I trailed off, looking to the side. His eyes were just too probing, like he can see through me.

The fact that it made him more doll like amps the creepy factor.

"I asked, who are you?"

Right, we haven't introduced ourselves. Should have done that in the beginning.

"M-My name's Agatsuma Sen – err, Zenitsu and this old man right here is my master slash gramps Kuwajima Jigoro, and this is our home." Goddamnit, I slipped. What the hell is wrong with me?!

"Nice to meet you both I guess, Osen-san, old man."

"I-I think we have a misunderstanding." I gave him a smile that could also be a grimace with how much it twitches in place. "My name's Zenitsu, A-Agatsuma Zenitsu."

"And don't call me old man, brat!"

"I see." No, I don't see why you're still staring intently at me. "What am I doing here?"

I scratched my cheek, now doing my best to make eye contact with him and smile reassuringly. Which I failed epically based on the raised eyebrow. "Well, i-if you don't remember, you were seriously injured three nights ago a-and I brought you here to help patch up your wounds and also,"

I rearranged my legs properly so that I was kneeling in a seiza position, laying my palms flat on the tatami, I began lowering my head to the floor.

"Thank you very much for saving me from that demon! I, Agatsuma Zenitsu is very grateful for your service and selfless act for saving someone who is as worthless as me and―oomph!"

"How many times do I have to dig my foot to your skull so that you'd get it?!" The old man dug his peg leg to my head causing me to cry out and clutched at the abused temple.

"You." Another bonk.

"Are." He dug in again.

"Not." Another stomp. This is so embarrassing, there's even an unknown audience here Jii-chan!

He rose his peg leg once again. "USELESS!"

"OUCH JII-CHAN! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOSE BRAIN CELLS?!"

"If you'd just listen and understand I might stop it! And call me Shihan! Not Jii-chan!"

I rolled away from the strike, quickly vaulting to the pretty boy and hiding behind him, using him as a shield shamelessly.

"P-Please protect me from the demon's wrath…" I whispered to his ears, damn his hair is silkier than mine.

The boy, unbothered at all, looked back at me, his once blank eyes now has confusion in them.

"But he's not a demon." He pointed at the huffing old man. Then the still unnamed boy tilted his head back looking at ceiling, almost colliding to my forehead.

"Just a senile old man."

…

I snorted a laugh.

Oh my God! Is he for real?!

"What did you say brat?!"

"Oh, so he's hard of hearing too?" The kid added with a flat tone.

I lost it.

"Oh my… Ahahaha! God! You… Ahaha! You're one funny kid! Ahahahaha!"

"What? What's so funny?"

I howled in laughter once again.

"You brat!"

"W-Wait Jii-chan haha," The old man started lifting his cane.

"W-wait. JII-CHAN NO! PUT THAT DOWN HE'S STILL INJURED!"

"I don't care just let me bonk him in the head! If he survived a demon, he could survive an attack from a senile old man!"

"You forgot. It's partially deaf senile old man."

"Y-You're not helping the situation!" Using my quick feet, I managed to immediately get behind the old man and hold him back.

It's way harder than it appears to be, Jii-chan is strong. Damn old ex-pillar that he is.

"Jii-chan no! You are not further injuring, urk!" He fucking elbowed me! "The person who saved me! And you!" I glared at the boy who's the root cause of all of this.

"Me?" He pointed at himself, not even fazed by Jii-chan's annoyance and want to bonk him – knock him out – with his walking stick.

"Yeah you! Apologize to Jii-chan!" A peg leg on my toe, ow. "Now!"

"Oh, okay." He readily agreed.

"I'm sorry." And of course, he delivered it with the same monotone. The brat is not fucking helping the situation, he's just making it worse.

Jii-chan's flailing became harder and maybe I should just let the brat get mauled because damn he's starting to get on my nerves too.

"Let me at him Zenitsu, let me at him!"

A lapse in attention made my grip loosened and he was open for an attack.

"JII-CHAN NOOOOO!"

"So what's your name?" Brat. Fucking brat just watched me struggle until Jii-chan took pity on me and decided to huff away from the room. Of course without forgetting to curse at the still blank faced boy.

"Tokito Muichirou. And you are?" He did the puppy head thing again.

Damn him for being cute and a little shit. And didn't I introduce myself earlier? More than once.

"I'm Agatsuma Zenitsu and I really thank you for saving me from that demon."

The newly introduced Tokito Muichiro placed a finger on his lips, looking for all the world like a confused puppy.

"Did I? I don't remember."

My eyebrows twitched.

"Yes you did. Don't you remember? Three nights ago, you saved me from a gray-skinned demon with four arms. T-That was really scary you know, s-suddenly hearing that horrible, horrible sound after waking up and it was a good thing you were there or I would have been six feet below on the g-ground by now."

He blinked once again and then, "Who are you again?"

…

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME OR DO YOU HAVE A BAD MEMORY?! IT'S AGATSUMA SENRITSU, AGATSUMA SENRITSU I TELL YOU!" I yelled out in annoyance because clearly, this boy is making fun of me, but after the outburst my mind stuttered to a halt when I recalled what I just said.

"N-No! You have it all wrong, it's not Senritsu, it's Zenitsu! I just got confused b-because I was so annoyed! It's Zenitsu, come on, say it with me! Zen-Itsu! Zen! Itsu!"

The boy remained unmoved. "Osen-san then and yes, I don't really have a good memory. I tend to forget most things."

"It's Zenitsu! And also," I closed in on him, hoping that I misheard him or was unaware of how his heartbeat didn't even waver. "A-Are you kidding me? Y-You really have bad memory?"

"No," His eyes narrowed in annoyance. "I am not kidding."

Wait. "Really? You're not kidding?"

"Maybe I'm not the only one who has a bad memory."

"H-Hey! I didn't mean it like that!" I floundered about, doing the jazz hands. "I mean, you've been…" How do I even put this? Looking back, he missed a lot of social cues and generally looked like a lost puppy. He kinda reminds me of Yuu actually, but a little bit vocal.

"I guess it kinda explains your cluelessness and lack of tact earlier." I whispered to myself not realizing the analytical stare that Tokito was throwing at me.

Cold fingers touched my cheek, making me jerk away. "What?"

"I don't know why, but you remind me of someone." His heart stuttered and twinge with pain, frustration and sadness. "I don't know who but it was…" His brows pinched in visible frustration then it settled down, his eyes lost its blankness and was replaced with tenderness, his fingers coming in contact with my cheek once again.

"Someone important."

'Why are you so painfully familiar? Why do I feel like I know you? Who are you to me? Do I know you from the past?'

The soft childish voice entered my ears, it sounded lost and defeated. A wispy fog, that comes and goes like the drifting clouds in the sky, scattered and seemingly trying to find a place to belong to.

A little wandering mist.

This is a confirmation that he wasn't lying or trying to find an excuse for his earlier rude behavior. It was all genuine and something tells me that he's a very straightforward person and speaks what he thinks. He's so young yet he already holds this empty look in his eyes, something painful might have happened to him before, something that lead to this.

When I first saw him that night before all I could think of is how could a child be already in on something so gory and perpetually mind scarring. How he's so relaxed and composed as he battled with the hideous creature, how he really doesn't care of how much blood is spraying all over him. All I heard was calm stillness in his heart, a potent rage that lurks in the shadows and the overall frustration he feels about being lost.

It explains the desperation to prove something and the desperation to have a certain purpose. Because he had lost everything and he's trying to piece himself together, trying to find clues of who he was.

He remembers nothing of his past while I'm here, existing on my fucking second life and remembering more than I should. It makes me feel ashamed that at one point, I wanted to forget everything and become a blank slate to get rid of all the pain, but here he is, just a boy who feels this kind of hurt, because he can't remember anything.

I withheld the urge to cry my eyes out with a few breathing exercises and rapidly blinked my eyes. He might think that I'm crazy if I started wailing at his facr.

Once I've managed to wrestle with my emotions, I made sure to give him the most tender looking smile that I have, emulating Kaa-san a little.

"I'm sure you'll find who it was someday soon and once you do, you can tell me who it was." Wait, that sounds weird, I mean we're not even friends! "I-I mean if you would want to tell me. It's not like you're obligated to do it or anything! Sorry I'm just gonna stop now, d-do you want more tea? O-Oh how about food? I bet you're really hungry. Wait here, I'm gonna grab you some." I made my hasty retreat with a hot face and an inhuman screech and speed, making sure that he doesn't have a glimpse of my face.

Time to prepare an early dinner, I guess.

Muichiro stared at the shoji door with confusion. That girl – and he is sure that she is in fact a girl no matter how she insists on addressing her with a masculine name that he has already forgotten about – is very confusing in on itself.

Now that she had said her name, (Osen-san was it?) it somehow stuck around now like how Oyakata-sama had stuck around in his head when he rarely even remembers anything after a few minutes, seconds even, have passed.

Her smile earlier made him feel of all sorts of emotions that he didn't know he has. It's so warm, so soft and so gentle, the way she had looked at him at that moment made him feel incredibly warm and sad at the same time.

("Kaa-san's smile is the prettiest thing ever!")

"She's weird." Muichiro concluded after some time.

Looking down at his fingers where he had used to touch the girl's flushed cheeks, remembering how soft it was, like how he had expected it to be.

…

"But also warm."

"Are you sure that it's alright for you to be walking now Tokito-san?" I glanced nervously at the stubborn boy who had been with us for about five days now, which he had been asleep for three. I'm glad that his recovery is going well despite of how many bones his has broken and I was pretty sure Kobayashi-sensei said that he shouldn't be able to recover for at least six weeks yet he's already up and about and doesn't seem to feel anything.

Is it a demon slayer thing?

Jii-chan told me once that breathing styles can help mitigate injuries and can even stem bleeding if your really good. Man, even if he's just a kid he's already using the advance breathing concentration and I can tell this much by the rhythm of his air intake. Mei-nii was the same, he was able to grasp the concept easily, the main reason that he became a hashira after only two months.

No wonder Jii-chan had referred to him as a genius. Demon hunters sure are a scary bunch.

"Don't worry, I can manage." He sighed softly, taking a long look at the small hills of greenery before him.

For some reason, ever since the end of our first conversation – which I have fled like a pussy – he became less rude and more tactful towards me.

And yes, it's only towards me. Well, he became less of an asshole towards Gramps and apologized after he learned that he was a former pillar (which he often than not, forgets) but when it comes to Kai… it was… sure something.

"Who are you?"

"My name's Kaigaku and remember it, damnit! How the hell did a braindead brat like you became a demon slayer?!"

"Simple Kaigaku, I passed the exams."

"And it's Kaigaku-san! Not Kaigaku! Show some respect brat, I'm older than you!"

"Kai calm down, you know how his situation is."

Angry turquoise, so unlike Tokito's blank gaze, glared down at me, his expression dark. "Stay the fuck away from here Zenitsu, you've got nothing to do with this. And why are you even defending him? I'm your senpai remember?" He gave a hard knock right at the center of my forehead, making me flail backwards from the force, my hand flying towards the spot to protect it from more aggression. Usually, Kai isn't this vicious towards me, but I can tell that it stems from the shrill jealousy that I can hear from him.

One thing led to another while I was nursing the bruise and suddenly Kai was on the grassy floor furiously looking up at Tokito who was now right in front of me.

"Don't hurt Osen-san. Osen-san hasn't done anything to you." Then he looked back towards me, frail looking hands taking hold of my cheeks to view the abused forehead. Out of all the things he remembers, he remembers calling me by 'Osen-san', now that's just blowing my cover.

"I-It's okay, you don't have to do that. Honestly, I'm used to it." Tokito's heart spiked for a moment with an emotion I knew too well. Indignation and anger, but on my behalf instead of at me. His soft gaze turned frigid, the metaphorical mist spreading around the area making things a whole lot colder.

"You girly brat!"

As quickly as I could, I hugged the boy right in front of me, making sure to get his arms in, tucking his head under my chin (not a hard feat seeing that he was smaller than me) and stood my ground as I switched our places just as Kai gave a blow at the back of my head.

Damn! That fucking hurts! Probably gonna leave a bump there.

But really, attacking an injured kid without holding back? Really?

I inhaled deeply, holding back tears, missing the look that the boy in my arms gave me. Slowly, I turned myself around to face a huffing Kai who's looking at me like I was insane.

And of course, he's angry too. Can't forget that part.

"Why the fuck did you―" Oh, you're gonna scream at me after that? Sorry boy but I can outscream you.

"No Kai," I closed my eyes and deeply inhaled once again and plugged Tokito's ears with my fingers, but before he could open his little mouth, I turned up the volume. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING PUNCHING AN INJURED KID?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE HIS STAY WITH US LONGER WITH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"

I stared down at Tokito's stunned face "Not that I mind or anything." I looked back up once again. "DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER BY ATTACKING AN INJURED PERSON?! GO DO THAT WHEN HE CAN ACTUALLY FIGHT BACK WITHOUT BEING HINDERED!"

Clearing my throat, I narrowed my eyes at him. "Now, leave us alone and do some training with Gramps. Also, I have a little something for you that's on top of your futon. Wear that so that you'll stop wearing that ridiculous rope on your neck. It makes my urges to tie you up to a tree very prominent. Good day."

With that I stomped away, Tokito still held closely to me like my favorite blanket on a particularly nasty dream. Once we're in a good distance away from the house, i.e by the riverbank, we both sat down in silence.

It was peaceful to say the least. And noticing that I'm still holding onto him like a teddy bear, I awkwardly took my arms away from his shoulders and discretely butt shuffled on the damp grass to create some distance between us.

"S-Sorry about that. Kai had always been a jerk but he's been acting even jerkier than his usual self. I'm really sorry about that and please―"

"Osen-san really talks a lot and apologizes a lot."

"S-Sorry! Err… I guess that's just how I am." I shrugged lamely, scratching at my heated cheeks. God this is embarrassing being told off by a boy years younger than me.

Humming thoughtfully to himself, I heard shuffling on my side as a head full of long hair leans at my shoulder. "I also learned that Osen-san doesn't really stands up for herself." Sheesh boy, you don't really have a filter. It's a good thing that I sometimes take criticism to heart.

Glancing down to my right, I was surprised to see him watching me with that peculiar look in his eyes. It's the same look he gives to me once in a while that I can't get a read on, all I can hear from him was peace mixed with happiness, sadness and confusion.

"But Osen-san stands up for others even if she's the one who gets hurt in the process. Osen-san is really…" Fingers traced the stinging bruise – and is probably a small bump now – on my forehead.

"Selfless."

I averted my eyes immediately, my face heating up even further from the compliment and from the way he's looking at me.

"N-No way! You got it all wrong, you have no idea what you're talking about." I focused on the subtle waves of the river and the leaves that were floating on it. "I'm the most selfish person you'll ever get to meet. I mean, I would totally let someone fight my fights and would just cry in the corner thinking of ways of how I could stay alive. And, and there's a fact that I'm only agreeing to be trained right now because I want to at least say to myself that I'm helping my friends on their goals. I'm only here because I don't want to feel like I'm totally useless."

I blinked away the oncoming tears with much difficulty. "I'm only here because I just want to feel wanted." I chuckled bitterly. "Pretty selfish right?"

I kept my sight straight towards the river, not even trying to look at him through my peripheral vision. But that choice was taken from me when a small calloused hand took hold of my chin and forcefully turn me towards him.

"The senile old man was right. You think so negatively of yourself." The boy blinked in surprise, before looking into the distance. "Huh. I managed to remember that." He said more to himself than to me, Tokito faces me once again with furrowed brows.

"I don't think you're selfish even if you think that you are. So what? You can be a person who is selfishly selfless. I for one, admit that I only think for myself because it's only logical to think that way. There's nothing wrong with that, right? Come to think of it," He placed a finger at the bottom of his lips, looking skywards and appearing a little absentminded as his eyes glazed over.

"I'm starting to think not only for myself," He switched his gaze back towards me once again, eyes impossibly innocent and honest. "I'm starting to think about your well-being and I don't know why is that. You feel so familiar to me that it feels like I know you somehow or maybe you remind me of one of my family that I don't remember. It's a little difficult to describe… the emotions that I feel towards you. I feel warm and happy when I see you happy and right now, I don't like what I'm feeling."

He brushed away the leftover tears in my eyes much to my ever-growing surprise towards this conversation.

"Because Osen-san is sad and I don't like it."

("Kaa-san please don't cry! Please don't give up, I know that you can get better Tou-san would be home soon with all the medicine. Please… don't die yet.")

Man, I feel like crying again. But not for me of course. I want to shed rivers for this boy who had lost everything, his memories and to the family that he used to have. How the hell could I even remind him of someone that he knows? A sister? A brother? Uncle? An aunt? Cousin? Mother? Father? I don't know who I remind him of, but simply knowing and hearing the omnipresent rage that he has buried way deep inside him makes for a not so pretty picture of how everything went down in his past. Me accidentally hearing his loud thoughts – he forgets almost everything within the span of a few seconds, I wonder how he could even live with that constant sense of being lost – sometimes, makes me want to curl up in a corner and stay there forever. The constant sense of not knowing what's going on after a few moments is a terrifying thing and I don't ever want to experience it.

"Why are you crying again?"

Goddamnit, those freaking mint green eyes are just the cutest. "I-Isn't it obvious?! I'm crying for you! Because it seems like you have even forgotten some of your basic human faculties!" Giving into my urges, I hugged him by the shoulders, letting his head settle on the crook of my neck while I sobbed my heart out, carding my fingers to his beautiful long hair.

"And damnit, don't make that face at people again. Makes them want to hug the living daylights out of you."

I can feel him hesitantly returning the hug, like trying to get a feel of how it is to hug people.

"But I always look like this." His lean arms settled on my waist and the boy unashamedly nuzzled against me, inhaling my scent.

"That's the point. I'm really jealous that you're cuter than me and looked more like a girl than I do and yes, I am finally admitting that I am a girl. But don't tell it to anybody, it's a secret." I whispered the last part to him, slowly getting out of the hug before holding out my pinky. He only stared at it with visible confusion. "Promise to not tell anybody unless I say so okay? Only a few people knows about this so I am also entrusting you with this secret."

"Why are you holding out your pinky?"

"Oh come on," I took hold of his hand and stuck the pinky out, hooking it with my own. "This is called a 'Pinky Swear'. It's a contract of sorts to uphold a promise that you can never ever break."

"I still don't get it."

"Just promise okay!"

"Okay, I promise." I tightened my pinky onto his and he instinctively squeezed back.

"But what if…" He started. "But what if I forgot about the promise?" The boy seemed unsure of himself, removing his hand from mine.

I grinned at him in response. "You won't. I believe in you Tokito-san."

"Did you like it?" I wringed my hands nervously, while I look at the boy through my lashes.

Tokito seemed to notice my nervousness but only continued to chew on the food slowly as if to trigger something in me.

And yes, it is triggering something in me. My tear ducts are begging to be dried out while my mind kept taunting me. He doesn't like it. You're a failure at being a female. You can't cook right, you may have overseasoned the shit out of that earlier Senritsu. You already don't look like a girl, what other unredeeming qualities are you gonna have? You're never gonna be able to marry!

"I like it. It's a little salty though."

My brain short circuited. "W-Wait! Come again, did I hear that right?! You liked it?!"

One thin eyebrow rose. "Yes, I did. I thought you have good hearing?"

Wow. This boy is a natural sass without even trying and you don't even know if he's being sarcastic or entirely serious.

"Y-Yeah. I was just making sure because I thought I overseasoned it or something." I rambled. "I thought I messed up again and that would have sucked. At least now I know what to do next time." Bowing to him at the waist, I then took the finished plates from the low table. "Thank you for being honest to me."

I got up and made my way to the back where the basin was. Oh how I miss the piping system, it makes doing the dishes way simpler.

"Hey aren't ya gonna ask us if it's good or not?!" Kai yelled from the table, throwing his chopsticks at me for my 'rudeness'.

Slowly, I turned towards him. Giving him the best deadpan stare that I could make. Damn, he really reminds me of that fucking sperm donor who ki- I need to set him straight these days.

"What?" I started in a monotone voice, putting the tray down to pick at my hat where some rice grains have fallen. "You're eating it just fine and not keeling over. I take that as a win. And besides, if I messed up, you'll be calling me out all through dinner. Jii-chan hasn't complained either. I'm just asking Tokito-san if it's to his taste since he's our guest." Having said that, I started walking away.

But before I could fully made it out the door I stopped.

"By the way, your new accessories really suit you like I thought they would. It brings out your pretty eyes."

I continued to complete my task once again, mind elsewhere, not noticing the spiking of a heartbeat and the colorful red that spread throughout the person's cheeks.

My eyes met with sharp mint colored eyes – same color of Tokito's – but this one burns of self- importance and pride. Bokuto, a wooden sword, at his side.

"Hey Zen, spar with me. First one to get a hit in is the winner. It's really easy and it'll be surely fun."

His heartbeat didn't waver. He's completely serious.

"Promise it wouldn't hurt that much plus, it's just one hit. How bad can it be?"

He continued to stare at me expectantly, like I would just agree to get myself hurt for 'fun'.

"You… serious?"

"Completely."

"But why?"

"Do I even need a reason?! Just fucking spar with me!" He yelled impatiently; his practice sword raised. "Get your sword now or I'll be tempted to start without it!"

"Okay, okay. I-I'll just get it." I held out my hands in front of me, slowly tiptoeing towards the house.

"And don't try to run away either! I'll find you and break your legs!"

Damn. He spoiled my plans, now I'm gonna look like a complete loser to Tokito-san.

"Aren't we supposed to wait for Jii-chan to referee for us before we start?"

He scoffed and gave me a feral smirk. "You're just trying to delay this aren't you?"

I winced, my hands sweaty and shaking while I grimaced. "If I answer 'yes', would you?"

"No."

"I expected as much. Tokito-san do you mind if you referee for us?" I looked to the porch where Tokito was and because my head was turned, I didn't saw the way the other dark haired boy's face molded into a sneer.

"I don't—"

There was a sound of displace air and I suddenly found myself on the defense.

"H-Hey! He hasn't said go yet!" I barely dodged to the right, Kai's wooden sword slicing through the air with no sense of control in the movement.

Jumping backwards, I managed to evade the strike from my midsection.

"I already said start earlier," Another stab to my stomach. "Maybe you would have heard it if you're paying attention to me!" He cried with a snarl to his lips, his movements wild but held strength in them.

He was about to strike me right in the temple but I managed to parry it – luckily – with my own sword, wincing as I felt my arms spasm with the force behind it. Man, is he trying to put me to sleep?

Pivoting from my heels, I twisted my body along with it to let another strike meet nothing, concentrating on my breathing and from the leftover force from my spin, I dashed quickly to his left where his guard was down and used this chance to attack.

To my surprise, it actually connected.

I managed to land a hit. On his left shoulder.

Shakily, I pointed at Kai and looked at Tokito. "D-Did you see that? I, I manage to hit him! I actually did it!" A smile gradually grew in my face as I giddily jumped up and down.

"I actually managed to get a hit in on Jii-chan's best student! Me! The slow learner who can't even do the other thunder breathing styles except for the first!"

The sound of an object hitting the air alerted me from the hit and I was able to put up my sword to meet the attack.

"Hey! I got a hit in, you said it's just one hit and it'll be over!"

My eyes widened and moved my head to the right, avoiding the pointy end of the stick where it could have gouged out my eye.

"Oh, did I say that? Well," He looked over my shoulder where I know Tokito was and based on the shift in clothing and the two feet firmly scrunching on the leafy ground, Tokito was definitely up on his feet. Kai gives a nasty looking face – too familiar, too much like that man who I don't even clearly remember the face anymore – that makes me want to hole up in the closet and never get out.

His cold turquoise eyes focused on me, challenging me to disagree with him.

"How about a new round?"

It's really puzzling. Kai, admittedly, had always been a dick. But, there's a limit to his dickheadedness and he always abided by it.

He doesn't really use physical means to dick around. Usually, it's just his words filled with barbs and no less damaging in my weeping self-esteem. But for some reason, ever since Tokito came into the picture, he's acting out more than he does on a bad day. And I've been hearing that shrill sound everytime coming from him, it wasn't just anger or embarrassment, it had been a constant ring on him since then.

Jealousy. Green shrill jealousy.

"Kai," I inhaled deeply to get rid of any of the fear and anger that I felt. Looking him in the eye, I gave him the 'I am being patient with you' look that he is very well acquainted to over the two years of living together.

"Why are you jealous?"

"No I'm not!" Indignation and denial spreading all over his features. The hand clutching the bokuto turning white, a look of realization flashing across his face.

"Are you reading my mind again?!" He tried to hit me once again but I blocked it almost absentmindedly, too focused in the conversation.

I felt out of place. Detached at this event and felt eerily calm despite my panic from earlier, I don't understand it myself but right at this moment, I can only see that I have to do something about Kai before it could get out of hand and someone gets seriously hurt.

"Remember Kai, I can't read minds, just hear the bits and pieces of loud thoughts and I try not to do that as much as possible." Letting one of my hands free from the wooden sword's hilt, I settled it on Kai's trembling hands.

"You know that right?" I spoke gently, pleading with my eyes. "I'm too much of a coward to know what people are thinking about me. Too scared at what they might know something that could be dangerous and potentially hurt me."

Still looking him in the eyes, I can see that they were turning glassy, still indignant and in denial.

"You know this, right?"

…

"Why are you being like this?! Why are you looking at me like that?! Stop looking at me like that?!" He pushed me away with a shove from his sword, taking a few steps back.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I ate the distance away with careful steps, approaching him like I would to a scared animal. Not that I would personally do that unless the animal is extremely harmless.

"Stay there! And I said to not look at me like that!"

I stopped, two steps away from him. Tokito was still by the porch, watching us carefully.

"What look?"

"That look!" He pointed an accusing finger at me, his thick eyebrows furrowed together. "Like you fucking care! You look like you always care! Why would you even look at me like that when you don't even fucking care about me! And I've realized this when that—" Kai directed his finger at a quiet and confused Tokito. "asshole came in here!"

The brunette stomped on the few steps between us, looming at me with a vicious glare. "Don't try to deny it, Osen-chan~ Is it because he's a full fledge demon slayer? Or is it because you think that you'll have a shot at becoming one if you smooch their faces and give them all your hugs? I'm right, right? Why else are you being so chummy towards them? You—"

By them, he meant Yuu, Mei-nii and now, Tokito.

"KAIGAKU THAT'S ENOUGH!" Jii-chan's thunderous voice interrupted his tirade. "How could you say such a thing! I'm disap—"

"It's okay, Jiichan."

A look of incredulous surprise spread across his face. "What are you…"

I smiled – more like grimaced – as tears fell from my eyes, the stabbing feeling deep in my chest unbearable from the words that came from Kai's mouth. Pointlessly, I tried not to take it too seriously. It's just a rambling of a confused child that's for sure. He's just angry and that makes him say things that he doesn't mean or words that he doesn't know how it could mean to someone. Besides I can hear him, his real inner voice, the one coming from his heart. He's just hurt in some way, jealous and angry.

But it still hurts to hear him say those words.

"It's okay Jii-chan." I sniffed. "Kai, is that all you want to say?"

I wiped the tears with my sleeve, it really pays to have long flowy ones. "Are you done?" Smiling once again, this time successful but filled with pain, the boy recoiled as if he was slapped.

"Go ahead and say whatever you w-wanna say. It's not good to bottle up feelings, it will explode on your face if you're not careful that's why I t-try to voice out mine as much as I can. Go on,"

The smile stretched to my cheeks and into a painful grin. "Dump it all on me, I promise I won't be angry. Maybe a little hurt afterwards, but I won't be angry at y-you." I met his eyes with my own.

"Because I care about you."

Suddenly, I was yanked by my collar.

"So you want me to dump it all on to you huh?! Fine. I'll dump it all on you!" His face glaringly close to mine, so close that I could see his unusual canines and how thick his eyebrows really were.

"I really, really, fucking hate you." My heart stilled for a moment from the statement, hearing that from someone I considered my friend or a brother. But once I heard the spiking of his heart from that statement, I realized that it wasn't what he exactly meant.

"I hate how you care so much! I hate how you're always looking at me like you actually care!"

"But I do care, I care about you a lot like how I care about Jii-chan. You're family Kai—"

His fist loosened, his eyes welling up in tears as his nose flared from all his flagging emotions.

"That's not true…" He whispered.

"Kai—"

"SHUT UP YOU LIAR! You think of me as family?! What the fuck even is a family?! Last time I'm in one that stupid drunkard motherfucker always beat the living shit outta me! And that useless bitch just stood there as that fucker sold me to another fucker! Is that what you call a fucking family?!"

My eyes widened at this revelation, I never really knew anything about his past other than he was caught while stealing money and was brought to the temple. All the other children and Mei-nii are brought their because their parents were unable to support them. It seems like Kai is withholding such a heavy baggage on his own and didn't have the happiest of childhood.

God, now I'm getting teary eyed. The hell that Kai must have been through, I can slightly imagine how it must've been for him. I should have been clued in from his ever-present animosity when talks of family came about. His hostility to the other children and the aversion of getting closer to anyone from the temple. I should've figured it out in hindsight.

The betrayal he must've felt to those people who should have loved and cared for him.

Being a shitty parent is the heaviest thing you can commit to a person. It screws a person over, one way or another.

He shook me strongly by the collar, my headwrap slipping from its place from all the recent roughhousing, the long inky strands a settling weight down my back.

Ignoring the gasp from the old man and the unnerving stare at my back, I solely focused on Kai and his thundering emotions. Taking hold of his hands with my own, I gave them a gentle squeeze and the shaking stopped. The kid looked aghast at what he had exposed about himself, eyes widening revealing the vulnerability in his gaze along with the rage.

His breath came out ragged and he sagged like a deflated balloon, his glassy eyes looked at me still managing a glare. "Don't fucking pity me."

In reality, I don't have a clue on what to do at this present situation. I have no idea of what would be the right things to say at this crucial moment. And it is crucial, this conversation might have a deciding factor in Kai's character. I want to reach out to him, to make him understand that that might have been the case in his past but it's different now. He have me and Jii-chan, and I know that no matter how averse Mei-nii is towards Kai that the large man is there for him if he needs it. Mei-nii just feels guilty of what happened to them and doesn't blame Kai at all. The man just couldn't face the boy for letting him see something gruesome that much I managed to get out from the older teen.

"I don't pity you." I started, giving him a serious and honest look. My mind flashing back to hazy images from my past life with a man who can't be reasoned with.

"I will never take pity of you or belittle you because I understand." I gave him a feeble smile, my eyes already leaking with a copious amount of tears. "I very much understand." I gave his hands another squeeze but this time firmer. Maybe if I hold on tightly enough, he would get to feel what I feel.

"I know that I'm not really good with expressing m-myself with words and I r-really, really suck at holding back my tears but I," I sniffed loudly, Goddamnit, why do I have an emotional filter of a two year old? It's really the genetics. These damn genetics "I also really, really suck at lying and you know that right? So…"

I met his vulnerable stare head on, giving him the best glare that I could while crying.

Inhaling deeply, I prepared for another emotional rant that would surely leave me drain afterwards.

"DON'T YOU E-EVER DARE CALL ME A LIAR BECAUSE I SUCK AT LYING YOU, YOU… PEANUT BRAIN! DON'T YOU EVER DARE IMPLY THAT MY FEELINGS FOR YOU IS ALSO A LIE BECAUSE IT'S NOT!" Lifting my hand, I poked his forehead again and again in the chance that the message would get across. If this method worked for an emotionally stunted Yuu from before maybe it could also work on him.

"I know that it had been hard for you and that I would never erase that part of your history no matter how hard I pray to the Gods, I know that all of… all of the crap you've been through is something that I could never imagine happening to myself because so far I'd been lucky." For the most part I am quite lucky, I could have died nine years ago if the centipede demon wasn't such a dumb lazyass.

"But please, can you at least give yourself a chance?" I gave him one last poke before gathering him in my arms. He was all tense with thundering emotions roiling inside of him.

"Give yourself a chance to be content and happy. Don't let your past hinder your present. Let your box of happiness be filled, don't let it leak from just a hole at the bottom. Let us help you patch it up, I don't care if it's big or small, just let us help you. I know that it's hard to see things that way but, but… we are not going away. Me and Jii-chan are here for you, Mei-nii too. We all care about you Kai, every aspect of you no matter how much of an asshole you are sometimes." Slowly, he became more relaxed and reciprocated the hug hesitantly before tightening almost painfully, his tears now freely staining my collar as I carded my fingers through his hair. "Let yourself have the chance to have this happiness, okay? Whatever happened to the greedy guy that I know who hoards all the best peaches in the orchard and doesn't care about other people's crap?" I joked lightly earning a wet laugh from the emotionally drained boy.

Damn, I haven't felt this emotionally drained since two years ago when Yuu and Sachi took the Demon Slayer exam.

"Are you sure of what you're getting into?"

"What do you mean?" Confusion coloring my voice.

He backed up slightly to look me in the eyes, the look of self assurance and haughtiness coming back from his face, a smirk etching its way on his lips. Traces of his earlier vulnerability and anguish disappears completely, the only reminder that the drama actually happening was the leftover tear tracks in his cheeks.

"Like you said, I'm a selfish greedy bastard who hoards everything that I want and does whatever that I want."

The sudden predatory glint in his eyes makes me want to run for the hills, sweat rolling off from my temples with my tears completely forgotten.

"Y-Yeah?" Cautiously, I took a step back, but that was impossible seeing that he was holding me really close, his arms not budging at all from their place in my waist.

Kai lifts his left arm, letting his fingers card through my hair gently then playfully twirling the stray strands that curled to my cheek. "And now that I think of it, maybe you're a little right that I'm a bit jealous. Wonderin' why that's the case, my oblivious little kohai?"

I started shaking my head immediately, stopping him from the slightly uncomfortable hair twirling. "N-No, not really. On second thought, I d-don't want to know."

"Oh?" He stops my frantic movement with firm fingers on my chin. What's with dark haired, turquoise eyed boys with my chin and hair? Is this some sort of rule when it comes to talking to them? "But you were so insistent earlier Senritsu-chan. No matter, I'll tell you whether you want to know or not because I'm just like that."

Without any warning, he closed in on my ear, I could just feel the smug grin stretching over his lips, hear the clear sound of his breath and his thudding heart that was singing with content, happiness and satisfaction. Something that I would cry on later when I'm not as nervous as I am right now.

"I was jealous because I don't want to share you." Kai whispered loudly enough for the other two to hear and if I'm right, it was what he had intended.

My brain came to a screeching halt, echoing the very words he'd spoken just now.

"I was jealous because I don't want to share you."

"…don't want to share you."

"…share you."

…

"…share you."

No matter what anyone say about what I did next was the most appropriate response. Fainting at that moment was the greatest way that I could get away from that conversation real fast, lame or otherwise.

After the decidedly emotionally draining roller coaster of a conversation, Kai became more open towards Jii-chan and I in his own way.

Also meaning that he is also much more vocal of his displeasure of sharing me.

"Hey you, don't act like you can just hoard my kohai just because you're injured or whatever. Go get your own."

"But Zen is also a kohai of mine. You know, because he's training to become a demon slayer just like me." A finger went up to absentmindedly poke his lower lip. "Wait, now that I thought of it, you both are my kohais and I'm your senpai."

I am deeply having flashbacks of the times where Yuu and Sachi were fighting over me. In any case, I don't want a repeat of that whole shebang. That's just another hot pot of migraines and headaches.

"Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, girly midget, let me remind you that I'm four years older than you. That means you should learn to respect me."

"Respect is earned and not given. You certainly wouldn't earn yours."

Well, the good thing that we did learn in these events is that Tokito can retain what's going on when he's having an argument with somebody. But if the trade of insults dried up, he'd be back to square one again, innocently indifferent towards Kai and Jii-chan while he retains what he so far knows about me. The only downside of this setup is that they almost always argue about the same shit again and again.

"What the fuck do you mean by that huh?!" Kai shoved his face close to Tokito, looming at him with a snarl.

Tokito remained indifferent outwardly but I can tell that he was steadily getting irritated. "Exactly what it means."

With a good shove and a put upon sigh, I placed myself in between the crossfire.

"Break it up you two. I'm not a toy that you two toddlers could fight over with. Anyways, I'm going to town if I could find any odd jobs to get away from you two or maybe visit Sayo-chan." Without looking back, I marched towards the door and opened it.

They were still silent. What a blissful experience.

"Don't try to follow me or I'll screech your ears off. Try not to kill each other."

The stretch of peace and quiet is a welcome change for my ears. Now, to channel my inner Joseph Joestar (complete with breathing style) with the last resort Joestar secret technique before the two comes back to their senses and start chasing me.

NIGERUNDAYO!

It's my favorite technique so far on the list. After all, running away is a coward's specialty.

"Who are you again?"

"IT'S KAIGAKU GODDAMNIT!"

"Tokito-san."

Wide mint colored eyes stared back at me, the setting sun on the background making them look like shiny gems the way the light filtered through his glassy peepers.

"Is it… is it okay if I call you Mui-chan instead? It's okay if you don't want to. I mean you're—"

"It's okay." The corner of his lips twitch upwards, the sound of amusement and delight came from him like a soft breeze.

Then his eyes widened a bit.

"What is it? I told you it's okay if you don—"

"No, it really is okay. I'm just thinking that since you have a nickname for me, I should have one for you too and I can't call you Osen-san either." He spoke so seriously that I can't help but giggle a little.

"What. Is there something funny?" A slight crease formed between his brows and I couldn't help but to smile a little more from his inherent cluelessness.

"One of my best friends used to call me 'Osen-san' too when we were kids and he didn't break it off for a year even when I requested that he call me by another name." I tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "You also slightly remind me of him. Quiet, calm and reserve." Piercing blue came to mind, calm but held an all consuming rage behind their depths. "With the same look in your eyes."

"Really?"

My eyes drifted towards the horizon where the blue of the sky was painted with dashes of pink, yellows and red. The sound of the deep calm ocean, gentle waves lapping at the sandy shores came to mind. I wonder how he's doing? Out of danger, I hope. "Yeah. Actually, he's a demon slayer like you. Maybe you've seen him before."

"Maybe. But I won't remember it even if I did." He replied softly.

"That's fine." Even if they've met at some point, they just probably stared at each other. Mui-chan's out of cluelessness and Yuu's just plainly awkward and socially inept. "Thought of a nickname yet?"

"Yes, I think. Is Ritsu fine to you?"

My nerdy mind suddenly pictured a dark haired boy with spiky hair, bluish purple aura surrounding him as slabs of stones started levitating mid air and then vaguely recalling a cute bubbly girl with light brown hair who loves her drums as much as she loves her puns.

"I think it's great." I look back at him with a grin. "It's a part of my name after all."

"What are these?"

"It's my super special peach-flavored daifuku mochi of course! C'mon try it, Mui-chan! I got that recipe from sweet old lady."

"More like an old demonic witch hag if you ask me." Someone grumbled from my left.

"Kai~ I've told you many times, don't call Amai-obaa any of that! And slowdown will ya, leave some for us!"

He shrugged, completely indifferent while his cheeks were all puffed up by the confections.

"Whatever."

"KAI!"

After a grueling battle with the peach-demon – and he totally is – Mui-chan managed to eat almost the half of it after tasting it once. It almost ended with a fight between the two turquoise eyed boys once again much to my lamentation. And while I was calming them down, Jii-chan had sneakily ate the rest of it. Leaving me with that one piece that I ate.

I wasn't ashamed to admit that I cried afterwards and it was hilarious how the three of them simultaneously panicked.

Man, what a great day to be alive.

"W-Wait a second Mui-chan! I, I have some things to give you!"

It has been two weeks since the young demon slayer had stayed with us and today's the day that he would be going on his way for his next mission. He's recovery had been abnormally quick but I guess I can't really talk since I had experience injuries before from training mishaps that recovered by only a day or a few. Still a bit unnerving how my healing rate had increased just by knowing how to use a breathing style but I guess it's more good than bad.

I'll miss him and I know that no matter how much I want to lock him up with us, it is not to be. This is the path that he had chosen for himself plus, he would be undoubtfully upset if I even try to do that.

Kid's a real genius, he would know what move that I would make before I could even take action.

"What is it, Ritsu?" He looked over his shoulder, the weird loud kasugaigarasu giving me a look through her long lashes, and if a crow could sneer then the avian must be doing it right now.

How can a crow could even have that kind of lashes?

"It's just some stuff that I made," I nibbled at my lower lip nervously while twirling a lock of my hair, looking down at his feet. "to remember me by." I held out the small bundle towards him, a little black drawstring pouch that has the same color as his eyes with cloud-like pattern.

He took it from my hands carefully, as if it's the most fragile glass that could easily break with a slight rash movement. Opening it, he drew out the four contents.

A hair tie, a fountain pen, a small journal and what could only be a friendship bracelet.

He picked up the quasi lever black fountain pen first out of the three. "What is this?"

Taking it from his hands, I uncapped the pen to show the shoddy but still good enough pen nib. "This one is called a fountain pen."

"Why would a fountain have a pen? What even is a pen? That doesn't look like an animal pen to me."

Of course, I have anticipated all of this. Three other pairs of eyes bore at my back with curiosity about the foreign object before them.

"No Mui-chan, it isn't exactly a fountain fountain and yes it isn't an animal pen either. Think of it as an improved ink brush, but first we gotta fill it with ink and I'm gonna show you how." Taking the ink bottle from one of many sewn inside pockets from my yellow yukata (with cute random triangles), I then flicked the lever down and plunged it into the bottle of ink before flicking the lever back up again. I wiped the pen nib with a rag to get the excess ink out, and by this time Jii-chan and Kai have migrated over my shoulder to see everything clearly. After making sure that there's no more dripping ink, I demonstrated the pen's writing capability by writing my name at the back of my hand as elegantly as I could and I'm very proud of the result.

The only good thing about the nib being shoddy is that it's not sharp enough to cut if you don't place excessive force in it, exactly how I want it to be.

"See, it works just like a brush. You can have this on your person too and it won't spill any ink as long as you don't pull the lever down. I know it's a bit trashy looking but I swear it would be useful. It's the first one that I made that actually works somewhat and if I managed to make a better looking one, I'll send it to you by a friend of mine." And yes, I am talking about Kurotsuki-kun.

My hand was shaking as I handed it out to him, my eyes focused only at his feet and my ears focused at the stunned blank silence that everyone was emitting. Now I'm not so sure anymore if giving him something like this is a bright idea.

"I just t-thought that s-since you often forgot things that maybe, you know, if you write it on the back of your hand or a paper you might be able to remember it. T-That's why I made you that small journal too." I shyly looked up to him from my lashes and saw his neutral face.

The fountain pen was a mess to work with and I've been working on it for about four years now during my spare times. I used to own these kinds of pen from the time before and know how they work from the inside out and pretty much a collector. I just love the way that it made writing look so sophisticated and classy, the ornate and beautiful designs on the said pens are just an added bonus. But even if I know how every part works and how to make it work, it's still a different thing to make the materials from scratch. It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears – mostly tears – to just make a functional lever type.

The other gifts; the journal, hair tie and bracelet took less time to make. The journal was black in color bound by a turquoise colored string while a single stylized red cloud was painted on the cover with Mui-chan's name on it. The second one I actually worked with after making the pen was the hair tie since I have more experience making them. It was a simple black band with red and white cloud patterns on it, the sides having white cotton ruffles. The friendship bracelet resembles a black zipper with turquoise at the middle, a pattern of weaving that I learned from the women at the local tailor shop, at its end was a small red cloud charm and a yellow lightning charm.

All of these gifts were made by my hands throughout a week, done secretly of course whenever I venture out on my own or stay at Amai-obaa's place and it would mean a lot if he decides to keep them. If he even decides on keeping them at all.

The confidence I had from the little gifts was slowly ebbing away as every silent second passed by. Inwardly, I cringed at my stupidity, a heavy feeling settling in my gut as a few tears prick at my eyes. I looked down once again unable to keep staring at their impassive faces.

"I-I'm sorry, you know what? This is a stupid gift; you don't have to take them if you want to. I, I'll just keep them in—"

"I didn't say that I didn't want them." My retreating arm was held by the wrist, the small calloused hand gripping it firmly.

"What?" I looked back up and down again. "You don't have to force yourself if you don't—"

"But I do want it." He interrupted again. Prying my fingers away from the crudely painted pen with his slender ones and taking it.

He held it delicately like it was made of brittle glass, mint colored eyes focused on the fountain pen's shiny black coat and the little squiggly lines that was meant to imitate clouds but looked more like well… the squiggly lines that they were.

"Are these really for me?" Mui-chan's eyes were impossibly wide, a little glossy.

Perking up at the shakiness in his heartbeat, I hurried to reassure him.

"Of course!" I screeched, clearing my throat as I felt my face warm up. "Of course." This time I said it mildly, with an abashed smile. My hands covering his. "I made it with you in mind. I hope that you like it."

Wonder filled his eyes as my ears were proceeded to be blessed with the most peaceful sound I've heard from him and at same time my eyes were blessed that I can't help but grin happily as a few stray tears left my eyes.

Mui-chan is smiling widely, his eyes forced shut with the force of his smile. I only get to savor the sight for a few seconds before I was enveloped in a tight hug.

"Thank you."

I didn't hesitate to reciprocate the gesture and clutched him closer to me. "D-Don't thank me, friends just do things for each other! And besides, it's a gift."

After what felt like minutes, Mui-chan let goes reluctantly. He then looked me in the eyes. "I'll take care of them and I promise not to forget." He held out a pinky towards me and I didn't hesitate to clasp it with mine.

I gave him my widest smile with some tears behind it because I'm a big baby.

"I'll be counting on that then."

After a few yards away from the small abode that housed him for two weeks, Muichiro took out his new journal and pen, on his wrist, the cloud and lightning charm clacked softly with the movement.

With quick strokes of the special pen that his friend gave to him, he wrote the very first content of his journal. A type of warmth that's starting to become familiar to him pooled at his stomach, going up to his chest where his heart was.

Letting the ink dry for a few seconds, he stashed everything away in the little drawstring bag that is now attached to his waist, its light weight not bothering him as he trudged on forward to continue his journey to hunt another demon.

Closing his eyes for a brief moment, the slight breeze ruffled his tied hair in a refreshing manner. Noting the difference of having it gathered and not just trailing down his back.

A small unbidden smile formed in his lips.

...

"My name is Tokito Muichiro, and I'm ten years old (I think). I'm a demon slayer under Oyakata-sama who gave me a purpose after loosing my memories. I have my first friend and her name is Agatsuma Senritsu but I call her Ritsu as a nickname. She's very kind and gentle and often cries at most things because she's emotional. I really like her smile; it reminds me of someone I think was precious to me. She dresses like a boy and refers to herself as one. I don't remember the name she gave herself anymore but I pinky promised her not to tell anyone that she's a girl. I don't remember the reason behind it anymore but that doesn't matter because she's Ritsu. Ritsu who is a precious friend and that all that matters."

Omake: Just Peachy

~Zenitsu age 10~

~Kaigaku age 12~

"Here, have some." I offered as I placed down the tray that held a kettle of freshly brewed tea and a plate filled with pink little balls.

Kai eyed the plate full of daifuku a look of distrust. "What are these?"

Taking no offense at his open skepticism, I removed the plate from the tray and placed it in between us for easy snacking reach. "Peach flavored daifuku. I thought of trying to make them since peaches are in season." I carefully place down three ceramic cups of green tea. "I hope it turned out all good though, since it your favorite fruit Kai." Out of habit, I nervously played at the bangs hanging down my face.

Picking up one of the confections and giving it one experimental sniff, the boy shrugged his shoulders and plopped it in his mouth. With baited breath, I waited for his reaction.

His eyes widened slightly; a pleased hum hanged from the back of his throat as he readily picked up another.

I gave out a small sigh of relief at the pleasant rumble of thunder came from him. Nothing more but a purr of appreciation for the treat.

Jii-chan suddenly chuckled, eyes filled with grandfatherly love. "Why thank you Zen, these are delicious. I've never had these in ages, where did you learn how to make them?"

Grinning victoriously at the complements that I'm receiving – and yes, Kai's reaction is complement enough, that boy doesn't mince words when he tries to get at you – I answered him, timing it when both of them took a sip of the tea. "From Amai-obaa of course!"

The both of them spluttered, choking on their tea. Though I can't blame their reaction towards a certain terrifying old lady, it was still hilarious at best, pfft… no wonder Kai does this to me all the time.

"Th-that old crone?! How the hell did you manage to get her recipe and lest be taught by her?!"

Kai placed down his tea and gave a mean stink eye, already knowing that the whole thing is done on purpose.

"I used two of my secret techniques of course!" I answered proudly, puffing out my chest and flipping my fringe as I did so.

"And pray tell what that is?"

I crossed my arms as I regarded Kai with a 'cool' look.

"I groveled at her feet and bargained something."

Much to my distaste, Kai snorted.

This child. This awful child doesn't know the miracles of groveling and bargaining! Doesn't he know that it can keep him from trouble and gain him some favors?!

"Why am I not surprised? And what the hell did you even bargained to that demon?" He gave a mocking grin. "Your soul?"

Suddenly I was being shaken by the shoulders with a frantic old man. "What the hell were you thinking?! Hadn't I told you to not make deals with shady people! I've taught you better than this! What if you can't get your soul back from that Hag?! Oh Zenitsuuu, what have you done?!"

I flailed helplessly for a moment from being a human rattle before taking hold of his scarred weathered hands and taking them away from me. "W-W-Waaaaait! Stop that! What if you rattle me too much and my neck breaks—" "I sure hope it does." Someone (Kai) grumbled. "and don't exaggerate things Jii-chan! Kai! Amai-obaa is not a demon! She's a perfectly sweet old lady!"

And she is, after groveling to her feet, praising her to high heavens and being her slave for a week, the she-demon became an angel for some reason. It was after, I took a plunge on the river while trying to chase after her beloved shawl (given to her by her late husband) on a particularly windy day.

I remembered passing out after getting out of the river from the absolute fear that I felt when I thought that I lost it – but actually, I managed to get it after desperately diving down the deep end of the river – and waking up in a pink girl's yukata.

The woman then started calling me 'Zen-chan' afterwards, insisting that I call her 'Amai-obaa' (because I was a very sweet little child that needs to be doted on) instead of Lady Amane (like all the other peasants does) with an awfully sweet understanding smile on her face as if she knew something that I don't.

I refuse to believe that she actually knew my secret – the crossdressing thing – and with the power of years of thorough denial at my back I managed to convince myself that she doesn't know a thing.

Nope. Not at all. My cover wasn't blown and everyone on the village doesn't know that I'm a girl.

"Did she made you drink something? I knew that woman was a witch, I knew it!" Warm arms suddenly enveloped me, much to my confusion. "I'm sorry Zen! I'm really sorry! This is all my fault, jokingly giving you the idea to get recipes from that woman to improve your arsenal. I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

It took me about thirty minutes to convince the old man that I wasn't bewitched by Amai-obaa with witchcraft and stuff but I know that he's still doubtful about it.

Amai-obaa be scaring Jii-chan like no other. I wonder what she did to strike fear to a former pillar man, the elite of the elites in the demon slaying scene.

Cleaning up the empty plate of sweets, Kai suddenly decided to invade my personal bubble with a good face close up that I could almost see his long lashes – bastard, how dare he have some pretty eyes with pretty lashes – and smell his peach smelling breath.

"What even made you do that kind of shit in the first place? I thought you have a great amount of self preservation?"

I sighed, not really denying the fact that I'm an effin' lame pussy. Peering at him with a puzzled look, I then smiled softly at him, taking him aback.

"Because peach is your favorite and I thought of making them for you since you haven't tried daifuku mochi before. I'm actually glad you enjoyed half of my present."

"Present?"

This time, he was totally confused and I rolled my eyes at his forgetfulness before standing up abruptly. "Stay there alright, I'm just gonna get something."

Surprisingly, when I came back he was still there, because most of the time he doesn't listen to me whatsoever, deeming it as inconsequential and me mocking his authority. Sitting across from him, I handed him a black clothed package with a cheerful grin.

"Happy 13 years of being alive in this world Kai-senpai! Here's my other present for you!" This made him two years older than I am in this world's standard and already a year had pass since he came to our home and became another disciple for the old man.

He looked stunned, eyes all wide and lips slightly parted as he stared at the gift in my hands. Carefully, I placed it down his lap. "Come on, o-open it." And despite the grin on my face I was quite nervous.

What if he hates it?! What if he doesn't like it so much that he wants to burn it after seeing it?! Maybe I should have stuck to the daifukus. He enjoyed those didn't he? I should probably take the thing back and offer to cook more of the daifukus instead. Damnit! I should'v—

I came out of my daze when I heard the sound of rustling cloth, too late to take it back now I guess… Now prepare for the knives Sen, prepare for the words.

With a too quiet, too unreadable voice, he asked me.

"Is this… really for me?"

And before his grip was a black yukata that's kinda identical to what he's currently wearing but with slight alterations.

At the front and back were two gold tomoes and at the bottom of it were blue lightning running across it haphazardly, all of it were sewn by my own hands and I'm very proud of how the lightning turned out after massive amounts of trial and error.

I dried my lips nervously and started fiddling my bangs. "Y-Yeah… Do yooou… like it?"

There was a long stretch of silence and I couldn't help but break into a nervous sweating mess. He was just there, staring at it with an unreadable expression and his sound didn't give away anything other than detachment.

Music Gods, I knew it. This was a bad idea.

Then he suddenly stood up, shaving a few years of my lifespan in the process. He said nothing as he walked inside seemingly dazed and away from the real world and for the rest of the day he didn't talk to me, but sometimes I can feel his gaze lingering towards me when he felt like I wasn't looking.

Jokes on him, I can feel everything and am very twitchy because of him just walking out on me.

Thoughts of self-deprecation came to me easily for the rest of my waking moment and I was actually surprised that I manage to sleep with a lot of things swimming in my head that would put me in a crying mess.

And I didn't cry mind you.

Well… maybe a few times when I'm all by myself.

I take it as improvement.

…

The next day when I woke up to greet my two housemates, I couldn't help but openly gawked at my fellow disciple as he went by greeting me like any other day.

"Oi midget, go get me tea."

And I did just that, still wrapping my head around to what I've just seen. Not even complaining that our height difference wasn't that large.

He is wearing the yukata that I gave him.

After thoroughly confirming that this is reality and not just fantasy, I went about my day with a massive good mood. A smile stretching across my lips that didn't even went down while training and being called names by Kai in his own 'teasing' way.

~Taisho Secret~

Kaigaku had always had a crush on Senritsu since the first time she saw her. The main reason why she annoys her so much is so that he can get her attention.

A/N: First and foremost, I deeply apologize for this very late update. A lot of things are going on on my side. My Uncle died last month and I wasn't really in the mindset to just write something. I got distracted by a lot of things but I hope that this 15k+ longass chapter makes up for the delay.

But my gosh we've come a long way. This was suppose to be just a brain fart and I didn't know how to feel how a lot of people seems to love this so far, grammatical errors and all. I'm really happy how this all turned out and I promise that the next chapter we would be starting canon or maybe a glimpse of the canon, who knows? I ain't giving away anything yet.

Anyways, thank you for the support so far up to this point and please continue to do so. Just seeing your comments make heart asfhighafg everytime.

Stay safe everyone and love ya!