This story is dedicated to Harold Ramis, who played Egon.

The scene opened onto The New York Public Library. A middle-aged woman was collecting books off tables and carting them away. Some went to the downstairs area, s she carried them downstairs. Unseen by her, books flew from the shelves of one case to the shelves of the case opposite it. She did sense something weird going on, but when she turned around the books had stopped flying so she continued on her way.

She then passed the card catalog, and shelves started Ato open on their own. Cards started to fly out of their shelves, and this she saw. Freaking out, she ran around bookcases until she ran into something glowing white that blew wind at her. She screamed in terror.

Meanwhile, a spiky-haired man was analyzing the walls of a university with some sort of weird gadget. A brown haired man wearing a blue-and white baseball cap with a blue pine tree symbol on it suddenly rushed over to him.

"This is it!" He said excitedly, startling the spiky-haired man. "Get the camera Norman, and that tape we erased yesterday!"

"Dipper!" Norman protested. "I was just in the middle of a ghost search!"

"Well you can search here later, because there's one at the library." Dipper said. "It scared a librarian at 1:40 earlier today."

"Well why didn't you say so?" Norman suddenly beamed. "Let's get Mabel and check it out!"

They rushed to find Dipper's twin sister Mabel - who was scrapbooking in the cafeteria - and tell her the news. She was annoyed about having to quit early, but she was also supportive of her brother enough to join in. Heck, if she wasn't supportive of her brother she wouldn't have agreed to join their Paranormal Studies group in the first place.

"As a sister - and a friend - I have to say you are finally going around the bend on this ghost business." Mabel remarked to Dipper as they headed towards the library. "You guys have been running your butts off meeting and greeting with every skitzo that says he has a paranormal experience. What have you seen?"

"Hey, just because you haven't seen a ghost doesn't mean you can completely dismiss the idea." Dipper retorted.

"And I actually have seen ghosts, I just haven't been able to get close enough to them." Norman replied, looking irritated.

Mabel looked away awkwardly, remembering how most people believed that Norman had schizophrenia because he could see ghosts even when they were invisible. However the truth was that he was descended from a long line of Mediums, a line that dated all the way back to colonial times.

However Norman kept that fact a secret to most people for fear of becoming a lab experiment or something, even though he was tired of people assuming that he had a mental disorder. Dipper and Mabel, old middle school friends of his, were the only ones outside his family who even knew about him being a Medium. This didn't make Mabel a hypocrite though, she just believed that ghosts were always as invisible as the wind and so not worth investigating to non-Mediums like herself and Dipper.

"And don't forget Mabel, I was present at the unexplained undersea mass sponge migration." Dipper reminded her.

"Dipper, those sponges moved only about a foot and a half." Mabel frowned with disgust. "You know, this reminds me of the time you tried to use shock-therapy to test its affect on psychic abilities."

"That would've worked if you hadn't stopped me." Dipper frowned back.

"If I hadn't, we probably would've been sued." Mabel retorted.

"Guys come on, we got work to do." Norman interrupted.

A man approached them.

"Hi I'm Roger Delacorte - the Head Librarian - are you from the university?" He asked.

"Yes I'm Dr. Pines." Dipper introduced himself. "This is Dr. Babcock and my sister Mabel."

"Hello." Mabel smiled.

"Thank you for coming, I hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly." Mr. Delacorte asked hopefully.

"Well you can't rush these things, especially if you don't even know what kind of ghost is present." Norman said.

They were then taken to the frightened librarian Alice, who was resting on a lounger.

"I don't remember seeing any legs but it definitely had arms because it reached out for me." The frightened librarian said.

"Arms?" Norman smiled, not used to hearing about ghosts with arms (most reports were about wisps and such). "I can't wait to get a look at it."

"Alice I'm going to ask you a couple of standard questions okay?" Dipper asked. "Have you or any member of your family have ever been diagnosed schizophrenic, mentally incompetent-"

He stopped because he caught Norman's irritated look.

"No offense Norman." He added.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the skeptical one." Mabel pointed out.

"Oh yeah this is your first time coming with us..." Dipper remembered. "I always ask these questions before investigating further, since we don't want to risk wasting our equipment on a false alarm."

"Oh."

"Dipper, it's moving!" Norman suddenly looked at his tracker, which was that weird gadget he had been holding earlier in the university.

Norman rushed towards the signal with Dipper and Mabel not far behind. They headed downstairs and continued to follow the signal until they spotted a stack of books in the middle of an aisle.

"Look!" Dipper said excitedly. "Symmetrical book stacking, just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947."

"You're right, no human being would stack books like this." Mabel agreed dryly.

"Does anyone else smell something?" Norman suddenly asked.

Dipper and Mabel took a whiff...and yeah they did smell something strange. They followed the smell to the card catalog.

"Talk about telekinetic activity, look at this mess!" Dipper gasped.

"Hey Dipper look at this." Norman pointed to some goo on the shelves.

"Ectoplasmic residue! Mabel get a sample of this."

"Me?" Mabel said incredulously. "Somebody blows their nose and you want me to collect it?"

"I want to analyze it." Dipper shrugged, handing her a container.

"I knew I was gonna regret joining your group one of these days." Mabel muttered.

Reluctantly, she collected some of the ectoplasm...and also got some on her hand.

"Oh gross!" She complained, wiping her hand on the books. "Ew ew ew..."

"Dipper, I'm getting stronger readings over here." Norman said. "This way."

"Come on Mabel." Dipper followed Norman

Mabel caught up with them.

"Here bro, your mucus." She deadpanned, giving him the container.

Dipper just silently pocketed it...and a bookcase fell just a few inches behind them. They froze with shock for a moment.

"Did this ever happen to you before?" Mabel turned to Norman.

Norman shook his head nervously.

"First time?"

Norman nodded.

They decided to press on, and followed the signal around some more corners...until they saw the ghost reading a book. Mabel gaped at the sight while Norman and Dipper looked both frightened and excited. Norman had seen plenty of invisible ghosts before, but never one this visible.

"So...what do we do?" Mabel whispered.

Dipper and Norman just glanced at each other awkwardly. Mabel looked at them with disbelief, then with annoyance.

"Could you come over here for a second please?" She grabbed Dipper by the ear and pulled him around behind the bookcase; Norman quickly followed. "Would you just come over here for a second please? Right over here, just come here Ariel! Come here! What do we do?"

"I don't know...this is my first fully-visible ghost." Norman shrugged. "Dipper, what do you think?"

Dipper brought out his book on the paranormal and started flipping through the pages.

"Stop that!" Mabel hissed, already fed up with his having read that book countless times.

Dipper blanched and closed the book.

"Uh...well we should try to make contact. Norman how about you go and try to talk to it?" He suggested.

"Good idea." Norman nodded.

Norman gave his tracker to Mabel and then went around the corner again. Dipper peered around to capture the whole thing on film.

"Hello, I'm Norman." Norman said to the ghost. "Where are you from...originally?"

The ghost just made a shushing noise. Caught off-guard, Norman went back to Dipper and Mabel.

"Well that didn't work...usually does to." Norman said.

"Okay, I have a plan. I know exactly what to do." Dipper said.

He led them around the corner.

"Now stay close...stay close...now do exactly as I say...get ready...GET HER!" Dipper cried.

The ghost suddenly made a scary face and screamed at them, frightening even Norman (who normally wasn't scared of ghosts). Norman, Dipper, and Mabel ran out of the library screaming.

"Did you see it?" Mr. Delacorte called as he ran after them. "What was it?"

"We'll get back to you!" Dipper called back.

"What?"

Finally, on the university grounds, Norman, Dipper, and Mabel managed to get over their fright enough to calm down.

"'Get her', that was your whole plan?" Mabel teased.

"Very scientific." Norman chuckled.

"Hey, I just got overexcited all right?" Dipper retorted. "But still, that was cool! We actually touched the ethereal plane! You know what it could mean to the university?"

"Yeah, this could be bigger than the microchip." Mabel sniggered.

"Aw come on sis, I'm being serious here." Dipper sighed. "According to these readings I think we have a chance of actually catching a ghost and holding it."

"Well, I prefer trying to talk to a ghost but that incident proved that it won't always work." Norman said. "So how about I first try to talk to the ghosts, and if that doesn't work then we capture the ghosts."

"Sounds good to me." Dipper nodded.

"Fine, but only because I love my brother that much." Mabel gave in.

"Gee, I'm flattered." Now it was Dipper's turn to tease.

Mabel just stuck her tongue out at him.

They then headed back to Dipper and Norman's lab at the university to further discuss matters...only to find a bunch of guys in there, including an unpleasantly familiar one.

"Oh, Dean Alvin." Norman rolled his eyes.

Alvin used to be Norman and Dipper's bully back during middle school, but Norman knew him longer due to them having gone to the same elementary school (Dipper and Mabel had gone to a different one). Norman, Dipper, and Mabel believed that the only reason why Alvin became the dean of the parapsychology department was so that he could continue harassing Dipper and Norman about their belief in the paranormal. Fortunately, Alvin's position prevented him from physically bullying them because the president of the university warned Alvin that if he ever harmed anyone he'd be fired. Unfortunately, Alvin could still get away with insulting them now and then.

"That's Dean Plasse to you freak." Alvin frowned.

"More like Dean Passé." Mabel smirked.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Dipper frowned, noticing that the other guys were packing up his and Norman's stuff.

"What's going on, is that you're going bye-bye." Alvin smirked. "The Board of Regions has ended your grant and you are to leave this campus immediately."

"Why?"

"Because your theories stink, your methods are worthy of loser-ville, and your conclusions are highly questionable. In short Dr. Pines you are a poor scientist...you even hired a schizophrenic for your assistant."

"He is not schizophrenic!" Dipper grabbed the front of Alvin's coat angrily. "Just because you've never seen a ghost doesn't mean they don't exist! Obviously the paranormal just doesn't want to waste its time with a caveman like yourself."

"Unhand me at once or I'll-!" Alvin glared back. "Hey! I'm not a caveman!"

"Could've fooled me." Mabel sneered.

"Dipper, come on, this isn't going to help us." Norman gently put a hand on Dipper's shoulder. "We'd better go."

Norman and Mabel started to leave. Dipper then let go of Alvin and turned around to leave...only to turn back around and punch Alvin in the face.

"Why you...you'll pay for this!" Alvin snapped.

"What're ya gonna do, have us expelled? Bit too late for that dontcha think?" Dipper smirked just before he left.

Outside the university...

"Well this is a major disgrace." Norman frowned. "Forget MIT or Stanford now, they wouldn't touch us with a ten-foot cattle-prod."

"Come on Norman, we don't need a major university to be a success." Dipper said. "Einstein did his best work when he was a patent clerk."

"You know how much a patent clerk earns?" Norman retorted. "At least the university gave us funds and facilities and we didn't have to produce anything...or so I thought."

"Norman does have a point, I worked in a clothing store before joining you guys at the university remember? In the working world you really have to earn your money, they don't just give it to you." Mabel agreed.

"Whatever reasons guys - call it fate, call it luck, call it karma - I believe things happen for a reason." Dipper smiled. "I believe we were meant to get thrown off campus and away from Dean Passé."

"While I do agree that being away from Dean Passé is lucky...why were we meant to get kicked out of the university?" Mabel asked.

"To go into business for ourselves."

"Maybe...but the ecto-containment unit we planned out will require money to make." Norman pointed out. "Where are we going to get it?"

"Well, there is that house mom and dad left me and Mabel." Dipper suggested.

So, they cashed in the deed to Dipper and Mabel's house.

"I dunno Dipper...we did grow up in that house." Mabel winced at the envelope that contained the paperwork behind the deal.

"Don't worry, after we become successful we can buy it back." Dipper shrugged. "Maybe turn it into a vacation home for ourselves whenever business gets slow."

"That sounds good...it would be nice to get away from the crowd now and then." Norman agreed, never having liked crowds.

"Well...all right." Mabel gave in.

So they looked for large empty buildings that they could use for their new headquarters. First up was an abandoned firehouse.

"There's office space, sleeping quarters and showers on the next floor, and there's a full kitchen on the top left." The real estate agent said.

"I dunno, it just seems a little pricey for a 'unique fixer-upper opportunity'." Norman hesitated. "What do you think Dipper?"

"I think this building should be condemned." Dipper winced. "Plus it's inadequate for our power needs."

They suddenly heard a whooshing sound and Mabel came downstairs via firepole.

"Whoo! This place is great, when can we move in?" She grinned excitedly. "You gotta try this pole! I know, let's have a sleepover here and try it out! I'm gonna get my stuff!" She rushed out of the building. "Firehouse slumber party!"

Dipper and Norman gave each other a deadpan look.

"I think we'll take it." Dipper said to the real estate agent.

"Good." The real estate agent smiled.