Author's Note:
Thank you so much to everyone who faved and reviewed! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now let's just pray the Netflix gives us proper Phil/Triss content! (or just Phil content in general I guess hahaha I'm still dying inside bye)

XX.

Everything changed after Thanedd.

The Brotherhood of Sorcerers had disbanded, the Council along with it. Most of the members had either betrayed them, were dead, or had disappeared – Yennefer included. Ciri was missing as well, and Triss hoped that Yennefer had disappeared in order to find her, because she could not bear all this talk about her dearest friend siding with Vilgefortz and being a traitor to the North. She knew that it wasn't true, she knew that it wasn't, but even Philippa seemed skeptical – although the woman knew better than to voice such an accusation out loud. She was aware that Triss would not take it well.

To make matters worse, because of what had happened, mages were largely disgraced. The violent quarrel between them had caused the confidence kings had in them to wane, and many were expelled from their courts. It had been a long time coming, as the Northern rulers were becoming concerned with the amount of political power that their mages had, and began cutting them out of important communications, choosing to use the older and much slower method of sending royal messengers to and from kingdoms instead of allowing the mages to just portal to one another. Triss had no doubt that if she had stayed in Foltest's court she would have been cast out, as last she heard Keira was banished from Temeria on the king's orders.

Philippa was much luckier in that regard than most mages. King Vizimir was assassinated the night before the coup, and while Triss was fairly certain that had been her doing, she found it better not to ask. It kept Philippa safer if no one knew the truth, although with the threat of Nilfgaard on the horizon, Triss doubted anyone was planning to look into Vizimir's death anymore than was necessary. Still, Triss kept her curiosity to herself and instead sought to enjoy the benefits that Philippa's newfound position alloted them both. Although Vizimir's widow Hedwig of Malleore 'officially' ruled the kingdom until such time that Radovid V came of age, in truth it was the Regency Council – headed by Philippa and Dijkstra – who ruled Redania, as Queen Hedwig had never had an interest in politics and was afraid Redania would come to ruin under her own inexperienced hand.

Although it was probably terribly cliche, something about Philippa having all that power just did something to Triss, and she began to teasingly call her her "King" while in the privacy of their own home, because apparently Triss just lived there now. It wasn't something that was explicitly offered or was even properly acknowledged, but Triss never returned to her tower in Maribor and Philippa had never asked her to leave, so now they shared a life and bedroom and practically everything else, including the inability to voice the truth of how they felt about one another.

Triss wanted to though. There were so many times she almost said the words to her, only to have them die in the back of her throat. Mentally she could accept that she was in love with Philippa, but for some reason there was still this barrier between them that she was having a hard time overcoming despite knowing exactly what it was. What was worse was that Triss was tentatively ready to take the next step, but now she was plagued with doubts that Philippa even wanted to. The other woman seemed perfectly content with fucking her with her scars covered, and while that was what made Triss comfortable for a long time, she was beginning to realize that she needed Philippa to see who she really was underneath it all, otherwise the love she felt for her would feel like a lie, as what was love without trust?

It had been so long that Triss did not know how to approach the subject, and her fear of rejection was such that even if she did, she wasn't even sure she could bring herself to voice it. Triss knew that she had to stop obsessing over it and just do it, but it just never seemed like the right time.

"You would look good in a crown," Triss mused after she had watched Philippa deliberate and demand to the actual Queen of Redania. It really was too bad that Philippa had to lurk in the shadows politically, instead of sitting on the throne that was hers in all but name. Triss knew that was how Philippa preferred it though, and as the woman approached her she leaned down, placing her lips against her lover's ear.

"You would look far better, pet."

Triss smirked as she slid her hand into Philippa's, walking backwards as she led her from the throne room while simultaneously casting a portal back to their home. While she enjoyed that she was casually allowed in Tretogor Palace now, Triss would always prefer Montecalvo to anywhere else, and now that Philippa's business had concluded, she wished to spend the rest of their night together. Triss wanted tonight to be the night, although she still had yet to formulate a proper plan in that regard. The setting was about as far as she had gotten.

"I'm not the one practically ruling a kingdom," Triss reminded her as they stepped through the portal to find themselves in the dimly-lit parlor, the flickering light of the fireplace casting shadows of their figures on the walls. The portal closed and it was Philippa's turn to lead, finding a seat on the settee near the warmth of the flames, gently pulling her lover towards her until she encouraged Triss to sit astride her lap.

"No, but every King needs their Queen," Philippa reasoned, her fingertips gliding across the younger woman's cheekbone before getting lost at the nape of her neck. Her touch was gentle yet possessive, and Triss shuddered at the feeling.

However, she couldn't help herself and smirked around her retort, "I thought that was what Dijkstra was for."

Philippa snorted, and Triss collapsed into laughter herself as she gently leaned her forehead against the other woman's. When her amusement subsided Triss gently bit down on her bottom lip as she played with the hem of the other woman's doublet. She shifted atop her lap, yet did not move off of it; Triss just wanted to feel comfortable, but realize it may not be her position after all.

"What is it?" Philippa asked, reading her lover's body language.

"You're staying in tonight, right?" Triss asked, suddenly realizing she had made plans without ever realizing if Philippa was free. Normally she would not care if the other woman had lovers to attend to or something else that did not involve her, as Triss was beginning to expand her own life outside of Philippa as well, but there was still this unspoken agreement that their relationship was to come first above all others, and Triss hoped that Philippa would recognize and respect that, as she had never really called in her chit before now.

"Would you like me to?"

Triss nodded, suddenly feeling a little self conscious. She desperately wished she did not, as she didn't want to be that person anymore, but this was a big thing for her, and it was natural to be a little nervous. Thankfully, Philippa did not hesitate nor question why before she dropped everything for her. It was as though she did not fathom any other option, and Triss immensely appreciated that.

"Then I will rearrange my schedule," she told her. Her brow creased and Philippa reached up, gently placing her fingers under the younger woman's chin. "Look at me, pet. You seem nervous."

Triss wanted to say it, yet once again the words died in the back of her throat and she hated herself for that. "I'm fine," she lied instead, forcing a small smile as she looked down at the woman beneath her. "Tell me about your day."

Philippa's expression indicated that she was more than aware that Triss was lying to her, but she allowed the distraction for a moment as she gently ran her hands over the other woman's thighs. "As interesting as the status of the Attre rebellion and its relation to Redanian concerns no doubt is to you, I actually have an idea to run by you… if you are interested in hearing it."

"Oh?"

"Mm," Philippa murmured, lightly drumming her fingertips against the young woman's leg. "The status of mages on the Continent is concerning me. Although I have personally retained my power, many have lost everything, and there is only so much I can do alone. I also promised you something greater than being the unofficial mage of my court, and have yet to deliver on that promise. I want to rectify that."

Triss' brow creased in interest, her nerves forgotten in wake of the shift in conversation. "How?"

"Our biggest mistake, as mages, was to serve kings," Philippa told her. "Even if we had our own agendas, we still actively served another's, and what has it gotten us? Cast out, mistrusted, dead – fightingwars that are not our own. We are of a different breed than them, and it's high time we change the world to reflect that. Unfortunately, we cannot rid ourselves of royalty and the power they hold, but should we have someone with magical abilities on the throne to protect our own interests, we could begin to mold the Continent in our own image. First, however, we need to find like-minded allies, because without more of us, we can achieve very little in that regard."

"You wish to reform the Chapter?" Triss asked disbelievingly. Thanedd had divided mages quite terribly, and she doubted the current political situation would allow such an alliance to be rebuilt.

"Not quite."

The crease in Triss' brow deepened.

"The Brotherhood fell for a reason, and I don't want a repeat of the past. Men are are quick to allow their emotions to guide them towards rash decisions, which in turn negatively effect us all. I'd prefer they not be a part of this."

Triss wasn't surprised by that, given Philippa's favoritism toward the fairer sex. Still, she did have a point: men and their egos, their power trips… they did cause quite a bit of unrest that could have been avoided if only preceded by rational thought.

"I also want to blur the lines between the North and the South. Mages should stand on the same side no matter where they hail from."

That caused Triss' eyes to widen. Political unrest ran rampant throughout the Continent, and mages were no exception to it. "That… will be a much harder sell."

"I'm aware, which is why I believe it more feasible should we gather a small group of mages first and then cautiously expand our ranks," Philippa suggested, and Triss found herself in agreement. She was tired of fighting men's wars for little to no respect. Perhaps Philippa was right – perhaps it was time one of their own was on the throne. Maybe then mages would be treated as they were meant to be. "I'd ask for a recommendation from you, but I believe I already know who you'd wish to join us."

"No," Triss responded, knowing who Philippa was referring to. "Even if Yennefer wasn't missing, she would have no interest in this. She stopped caring for politics decades ago. If you're serious about my input though, I actually do have a recommendation."

"Of course I'm serious, pet," Philippa responded, as though she could not fathom how Triss could even suggest otherwise. She gently brushed an errant strand of hair from her lover's eyes, tucking it behind Triss' ear. "Who?"

"Keira Metz."

Philippa's brow rose. "The sorceress who shared your place amongst the Temerian court?"

"Mm," Triss murmured in acknowledgment. "I believe I know her well enough to feel as though her interests would still align with ours. What's more is that I've always been able to easily sway her when it comes to anything political – she knows I am far more rational than she is, and knows well enough to listen when I speak." Triss looked down at the woman she sat astride. "Who would you invite?" she queried. "Because it's probably wise to only include two more sorceresses at this time. If we can persuade them, then perhaps we can call a larger meeting between the mages."

"Agreed. You've heard of Margarita Laux-Antille, I assume?" Philippa asked. "She succeeded Tissaia De Vries as Rectoress of Aretuza."

Tissaia. A piercing pain gripped Triss' chest at the mention of the former Rectoress. What had happened to her after Thanedd was just awful, and Triss still felt so terribly guilty as she had been a part of it. It made her feel as though she somehow had a hand in her suicide, despite knowing that she should not blame herself.

"Of course. Yennefer spoke highly of her."

"She isn't very political, but she deeply cares for that school and its students," Philippa told her. "The current distrust towards mages can easily turn into fear and bigotry if we are not careful, and I am certain that the repercussions would be disastrous to our kind. Convincing Rita that she should align with us for the safety and security of all she cares about should not be too difficult, and considering she is well-liked and respected by many sorceresses who I would like to extend an invitation to, her connections will help us immensely. Unfortunately, I've found that the respect others have for me usually goes hand-in-hand with dislike, or outright mistrust of my intentions, which would be counterproductive to what I am trying to achieve."

Triss' lips quirked in amusement. At least Philippa was self-aware. "You're well-liked by me," she teasingly placated, gently running her fingers through her lover's hair as she looked down at her. Her stomach tightened in a knot, and her next words were much softer, and much more honest as Triss said something that she had wanted to say for a long time now. "And I trust you. More… more than I trust anyone. I need you to know that."

Philippa could hear the shift in Triss' tone and the corners of her eyes crinkled as she recognized the honesty in her words. Triss suddenly looked a little nervous, and Philippa found her hand before she laced their fingers together. "Then trust me enough to reveal what is putting you on edge tonight," she requested softly, and Triss swallowed the lump in her throat.

She untangled their fingers and her hands went to the collar of her loose-flowing azure dress, carefully undoing the first button. Triss wet her lips and undid the second then, and Philippa, who seemed to realize what exactly she was doing, stayed silent. Triss only got to the third button though before she noticeably hesitated, taking a shuddered inhale of breath. Her hands were trembling, and Philippa placed one of her own on top of hers.

"You don't have to if you're not ready."

"I do. I am," Triss insisted softly. Her gaze caught Philippa's and she bit down on her bottom lip. Her heart was thumping erratically beneath her ribcage, and yet she could not imagine not following though with it. No matter how terrified she was, she couldn't keep this wall up between them. "I don't want to hide from you anymore, Phil. I…"

But her words died on the tip of her tongue, and Triss' throat constricted because she was so terribly disappointed in herself. She shouldn't be this afraid. Triss' eyes crinkled with the weight of her emotions, and Philippa already knew. She had probably known for quite some time. "They're just words, pet," she assured her softly. "But if it'll mean something for you to say them, then I promise I will hear them."

Triss' eyes welled up with tears as emotion gripped her chest. She looked down at the woman who had the entirety of her heart, unable to fathom another world, another life without Philippa at the very center of it. A tear slid down the contour of her cheek, and it was gently wiped from her skin as Triss finally allowed herself to breathe the words she had wanted to say for so very long.

"I love you…"

A floodgate opened. The younger woman choked back a sob as Philippa dropped her wards, allowing Triss to feel what the other woman felt in return. She knew that Philippa would probably never be able to express how she felt in words because she was far too guarded in that regard, but it did not matter. Philippa had other ways of showing her how she felt, and they were enough. Their lips came together in a passionate kiss and Triss grasped at the back of the other woman's neck, her touch bruising and desperate. "I love you," Triss breathed between kisses, just needing to say it again and again. She wanted to make sure it was heard, that it was understood, because they were only simple words to explain something so massive and meaningful. "I love you…!"

"Shh, I know," Philippa assured her, her fingertips tracing the contour of her cheek, her jaw, before wrapping a possessive hand around the nape of the younger woman's neck. "I know, love, I know…"

Triss nearly collapsed into tears again at the new nickname. It was more than she had expected Philippa to vocalize, and she pressed their lips together once more as she poured all of her emotions into another lingering kiss. It was then that undressing came naturally, and without anymore hesitation Triss' fingers began to frantically unbutton the remainder of her dress before allowing Philippa to push it off her shoulders so that the fabric pooled around her waist. Before Triss could move or think or process the large step she had just taken, Philippa's lips fell to her neck, to her shoulder, to her chest. Philippa kissed her scars like she did not think twice about them – like they were just another part of Triss that bore no difference to the rest of her body. She did not shy away from them, but at the same time did not linger.

It was what Triss needed.

She had built up such a fuss about them that part of her hesitation about showing them was that she was certain it was going to be this huge, life-altering thing. But it wasn't. Philippa didn't fawn over the marks on her body or feel pity for her because of their creation, she just accepted her as she was. Her lips found Triss' again as her hand palmed at her breast, and although it was slightly misshapen and her skin was thick and uneven, it did not stop Philippa from touching her just as she always did before Sodden, and Triss hissed against her lips as she realized that at least one of her nipples still had a little feeling left. She hadn't expected that, as she hadn't wanted to explore that part of herself sexually for a very long time now.

She could feel Philippa grin against her lips, but as the woman began to slide her hand beneath her dress, Triss realized they needed far more space than what the settee allotted them. She grasped Philippa's wrist in her hand, her breathing heavy and uneven as she ordered, "—Bed."

Without warning, Philippa wrapped her arms around her lover's waist as she stood up. Triss yelped and held onto her as it felt as though Philippa had tipped forward due to trying to hold her weight, but she had apparently cast a portal behind her that allowed them to fall heavily against the mattress in the bedroom. "Don't do that!" Triss exclaimed, her heart beating erratically in her chest from the feeling of free-falling. She lightly smacked Philippa's arm, but the other woman just laughed as she climbed on top of her and began throwing off her own clothes between heated kisses. Triss was busy herself trying to get the rest of her dress off, and eventually she had to resort to practically kicking it from her body before they finally came together, completely bare, for the first time in what felt like forever.

Triss grasped for every part of her that she could reach, her lips parting in pleasure as Philippa's hand fell between her thighs. The older woman allowed her fingers to be coated in arousal before she slowly dragged them across the length of Triss' sex, her tongue drinking up the moan she milked from her as they came together in another desperate kiss. Philippa's thigh pressed into her hand as she allowed her own dripping center to slide against Triss' leg, and the younger woman groaned from the feeling of Philippa's desire against her skin. Triss' fingers curled into the supple flesh of the other woman's backside as she pulled Philippa closer to her, the movement causing the older sorceress' lips to part as the friction left a wet trail up Triss' thigh. Philippa's fingers slipped inside of her then, and Triss' breath left her.

"—Mmph," the younger woman exhaled, feeling Philippa curl her fingers inside of her. She looked up at the woman atop her, her fingernails digging into Philippa's flesh as she encouraged her to rock against her leg. The angle wasn't great though and Triss longed to touch her, so the next time she grasped for her she put a little more strength behind it, causing Philippa to nearly tumble completely on top of her before Triss rolled them on their sides, facing one another.

"Like this," Triss instructed breathlessly, taking the hand that had fallen from her body into her own and encouraging Philippa between her thighs again as she propped one leg up to give her a better angle. Triss hissed as Philippa entered her once more, and her own hand found its way between her lover's thighs as she slid her fingers through Philippa's desire. "Kiss me—"

"Demands, demands…" the other woman noted in amusement, but she did lean in just enough to gently place her mouth around Triss' bottom lip.

"Please," Triss begged, realizing Philippa wanted to tease her as she kept dragging her lips across her cheek before placing her mouth against hers just enough for Triss to feel it, but not enough to get what she really wanted. Philippa's tongue caressed the corner of her lover's mouth as her fingers slid deeper inside of her, and Triss exhaled a breathy groan. "Phil…"

Philippa kissed her properly then, her tongue sliding into her mouth before she was the one who parted and demanded, "Again," as she corkscrewed her fingers inside her. Triss nearly choked on her breath and she pressed her own hand harder against her lover's sex, the pressure of her fingers causing Philippa to groan and roll her hips into her.

"Philippa… fuck. Please," Triss begged, not knowing if Philippa wanted to hear her name again, or just merely hear her beg again. Triss didn't care. She'd give her whatever she wanted. After all, she already had everything else. "Please, I need you…"

"You have me."

There was no hesitation in her answer and Philippa's mouth found hers once more, sealing that sentiment with a kiss. Triss began to move her hand more vigorously between the other woman's thighs until she had Philippa panting against her lips. She could feel the heat radiating off of her lover's skin and Triss rested her forehead against Philippa's, her eyes closing as her own pleasure began to overwhelm her.

It wasn't at all like how she had pictured. Triss was convinced that any lovemaking where she lay bare she would obsess over her scars, but Philippa had a way of making all of that fade away. In the end Triss, hadn't even spared them enough of a thought to get self-conscious or ashamed of them. Instead all she saw, all she felt was Philippa, and after the other woman tensed and gasped against her lips Triss fell shortly afterward, sweating and panting as she held the woman she adored close to her breast.

Philippa took her hand in her own and kissed her palm then, and Triss could not help but whisper how much she loved her all over again as she realized with vivid clarity how lucky she was to be bound to someone who had given her everything she had ever wanted and so, so much more.

THE END