I Promise
He moped along the halls of the massive tower he called home along with his friends. Although at the moment, he wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything. He was content to slouch along the walls of the corridors as he made his way to the kitchen. If it was up to him, he'd still be sitting in his room.
Cursing his biology for needing food to live, he entered the kitchen. As he did, three heads turned to him at once and a fourth peered over her book towards him.
"Hey Beast Boy. Long time no see." Robin, team leader, said.
"Not now." Beast Boy replied, inaudible to the others. Depression radiated off him in waves so strong even the non-empathetic members could feel it.
"Listen buddy, can you at least tell one of us what's wrong? We're worried." Cyborg, his best friend, insisted. Beast Boy let out a long drawn out sigh as he opened the fridge and tried to ignore his friends.
"Friend Beast Boy, would you like me to make you the Tamaranian dish of sadness? I believe it will alleviate your pain." Starfire said, hopefully. She sounded genuinely sad about his current situation. Beast Boy stopped and thought for a minute before turning to her. Bothering to respond to the most sensitive member of the team for fear of hurting her, he spoke.
"No, Star." His voice was dull and held an air of defeat to it.
"I understand. Please do let me know if-" Starfire started.
"Snap out of it, Beast Boy!" Cyborg interrupted, unsure of what else to say. The absence of Beast Boy's relaxing effect on the team clearly affecting him the most. Beast Boy stayed silent and frozen in place for a minute. His mind raced at a million miles per hour as the pain which had caused his depression flowed back to him. His knees buckled before he caught himself on the table, swiftly opened the fridge, snatched leftover tofu out of it, and rushed to his room. Once in the safety of his room, he doubled over, clutched his head in pain, and began to cry a torrent of silent tears.
"What was that, Cyborg." Raven finally spoke, her eyes boring holes into her teammate while her voice remained icy and emotionless.
"I...I just didn't know what else to do. I know I shouldn't have yelled at him, but I miss him. The normal him." Cyborg said, his normally calm demeanor returning once again.
"Well, you shouldn't have done that." Raven replied, plainly. "The amount of pain that resurfaced after you yelled at him was strong enough that I had to halt my empathetic abilities or I would have been overwhelmed." She added, allowing a small amount of worry into her voice to send her point home.
"That's why he left so fast, I'm pretty sure I saw him nearly pass out, as well." Robin said, thinking. Always the perceptive one, he'd caught onto the slight movement Beast Boy made. Impressed, Raven sometimes wondered if he actually did have powers.
"Shall I go talk to friend Beast Boy?" Starfire asked, joining the conversation.
"No, Star. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think any of us three are going to have an impact." Robin stated, looking at Raven.
"Three?" Raven said.
"Well, you're the only one who hasn't talked to him yet. Could you please give it a shot?" Robin asked, daring her to say no.
"I don't really do well with therapy." Raven replied.
"That wasn't a question. Try it once, if you don't make progress I will find another option." Robin said, arms crossed, removing all room for debate.
"Okay. But only once." Raven replied, sternly.
"Thank you." Robin said, smiling. 'Manipulative dick' Raven thought, inwardly smiling at her wordplay. With that she left the rest of her teammates to go find Beast Boy.
Beast Boy was curled in a tight ball on the floor of his destroyed room. Although his room was in a perpetual state of messiness, it had hit an all-time low. In his pain, The Beast had momentarily gotten loose and decided to destroy everything around him in rage. Long and deep scratch marks tore through the walls and ceiling of his room. Pillows and clothes lay shredded on the floor. His bed had been crushed by the sheer weight of his strongest transformation. Although he was back to normal at the moment, he had to struggle hard to rein in The Beast. In the process, he had even accidentally scratched himself and had various nonfatal nicks and cuts in random parts on his body.
Uncurling from his place on the floor, Beast Boy leaned against what remained of his bed as he surveyed the damage. A renewed feeling of depression hit him as he thought about the verbal lashing he was sure to receive from Robin. Laying back on the ground, defeated, Beast Boy began to shake as his sobs returned, louder than before.
Raven bit her lip in thought as she walked to Beast Boy's room. Rarely was she at a loss for what to do, but this was one of those times. Beast Boy was hurting badly and she wanted nothing more than to help him. Most times when she tried to console him in the past, however, it ended badly. She thought a moment about why she cared so much. She had gotten much more silence since Beast Boy had sunk into depression, but she found that she spent almost all of her extra time checking in on his emotions or missing his normal personality. As much as he annoyed her, she realized that she'd begun to tolerate it or, at the very least, accepted it as normal. In addition to his effect on her, she also realized that the entire team's morale was down ever since Beast Boy became distant. She inwardly smiled as she realized that he'd grown on all of them, much more than she had ever thought possible.
Her good mood was interrupted, however, as she nearly ran into Beast Boy's door. She hesitated for a moment before leaning her ear to the door in an attempt to hear what was going on. Straining her ears, she thought she could hear a slight whimpering. Unsure, she decided to at least check his emotional state so she knew exactly what emotions she'd be dealing with. Closing her eyes, she prepared to read his emotions. As she reached her mind out to his, however, she immediately broke the connection and snapped her eyes open. The power of his emotions was much too strong. Beast Boy had always been the most expressive member of the team, but the sheer power of his depression shocked Raven for a second time today. She suddenly had a strange urge to strangle whatever was causing him pain. Taking a few deep breaths and dispelling the strange urge, she knocked on the door.
"Y...yes?" Beast Boy's voice sounded so small and defeated, Raven nearly flinched.
"Beast Boy, it's me, can I come in?" Raven spoke in her usual monotone.
"What do you want, Raven?" Beast Boy said, sniffling, but his voice hardening slightly. Raven immediately felt bad for not talking to him sooner. She had still been watching over him, but he had no way of knowing that. She could feel his disappointment in the fact that she'd only now come to talk to him.
"Can I come in?" Raven repeated, monotone but inwardly unsure if it was such a good idea.
"F...fine." Beast Boy replied. Raven didn't bother with the door and phased through it. She was taken aback at the state of his room. Her deadpan visage changed to a slightly shocked one, as shocked as she could express, as she looked around the room. She immediately thought about Beast Boy's safety before recognizing the deep claw marks all over the room. The Beast had gotten loose.
"Yea, I know I'm a monster." He said, Raven realized her shock was outwardly visible. Returning to her expressionless face, she looked down at Beast Boy and prepared to tell him how wrong he was. Looking at him, however, she nearly gasped.
"Beast Boy! Are you okay?" She asked, a shattered lamp became encased in dark energy and threatened to break further. She reined her emotions in once again and moved to heal the many scratches covering his body.
"Don't touch me. I don't deserve help." Beast Boy nearly growled at her as she got close. This caused Raven to hesitate for a minute and reply.
"What makes you think that?" Raven said, gently but still as monotone as she could manage.
"I'm nothing but a freak. I always have been." He replied, growling softly as his eyes welled up with tears. Raven was surprised to hear this. She knew he had insecurities but she could never guess he loathed himself. Moving to console him, she sat down next to him and rested her hand on his trembling shoulder. Against his protest, she began to heal his wounds.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Raven asked, gently. Surprising herself at how caring she was being. She wondered if she cared more about Beast Boy than she thought.
"Why do you care?" Beast Boy said, half-heartedly. Raven nearly winced at this. She thought about his words for a moment before responding.
"I know we haven't always gotten along, but we've always cared about each other." Raven said, matter-of-factly. Beast Boy didn't protest but stayed silent nonetheless.
"I want to help you, Beast Boy." Raven finally spoke, breaking the silence. She had healed all of his wounds and was gently holding his shoulder. Once again surprising herself at her tenderness. Even Beast Boy was surprised but he was far too engrossed in his own thoughts and emotions to care or show it.
"Fine. But don't tell anyone, please." He begged, finally looking up at her instead of staring at his knees. A sadness greater than nearly anything Raven had ever seen was swimming in his emerald eyes. She always suspected his jovial personality was a front for something, but seeing him like this she finally confirmed her suspicion. She pulled him up until he was resting against his destroyed bed before shifting to sit next to him.
"I promise." She said.
"O...okay. You know how I used to be with the Doom Patrol before joining the Teen Titans?" He asked, looking down at the ground.
"Yes." Raven replied.
"Well, before them I was a foster kid. An orphan before that. Before that, though, I had an actual family." He said, eyes slightly tearing up before he wiped them and took a deep breath. Raven's hand instinctually made it's way to his shoulder. "Well, my parents were biologists and I was an only child. We used to live in Africa where they worked to find cures to diseases that came from animals. Well, when I was little, I got too close to a monkey that carried a deathly illness and it bit me. Thankfully, my parents had a cure but it was their only one and it was very experimental. They decided to use it on me without knowing the consequences associated with it. I guess they figured that it was better than certain death." He stopped, thinking about how to phrase what came next, before continuing. "It worked, of course, they were geniuses. Anyway, that's why I'm green and I have my powers. They never told me exactly what was in it, I was way too little. I'm guessing it had a ton of random animal DNA or something. Anyway, they never had the chance to tell me." He shuddered nearly breaking into sobs. He was stopped, however, as Raven rubbed his back, soothingly. Looking at her thankfully, he continued. "Shortly after I got better, my parents took me on a boat ride in the river near their camp. I remember I was so excited that I kept insisting that my dad let me drive. While I was throwing a fit, though, he was distracted for a few seconds. He didn't notice an outstretched rock and it tore a hole in the boat. My parents and I all jumped into the water and tried to swim back to shore but the current was too strong and I turned into a bird and my dad told me to fly...and...and...I left them!" Beast Boy choked out as he began to openly cry. Raven was shocked at sheer amount of guilt coming off of him. Moving to console him, she hugged him to her shoulder. Uncomfortable with the physical contact but realizing it was the only way to calm him down, Raven allowed him to cry into her shoulder.
He cried for a long while until he finally let enough of it out to continue.
"Thanks." Beast Boy said, as he left her embrace and leaned back against his bed. He closed his eyes as he prepared to continue.
"No problem. Are you sure you want to continue?" Raven asked, a little concern making its way into her voice. Beneath the surface, however, Raven was aching for him to continue so she could help him through it. Concerned would be a massive understatement for how she was feeling.
"Y...yea. But if you have to go I get it." Beast Boy replied, eyes returning to the floor.
"No! That's not what I meant. I just want to make sure this isn't making you feel worse." Raven said, quickly. Dark energy encasing a nearby pillow, or what was left of it, before she calmed down and it returned to normal. Beast Boy nodded, unable to pay attention to her outburst.
"So. After that, I flew until my wings hurt and I had to land. When I did, I was so tired that I simply returned to my normal form and fell asleep at the side of a road. The next thing I knew, I was in a large metal cage in the back of a truck. Next to me, in cages, were exotic animals of all kinds trying to get free. Realizing I could turn into an animal and free them all, I tried to turn into a large animal. But, because I was malnourished and still exhausted at that point, I couldn't. I sat in that truck with those suffering animals for longer than I could keep track of. When we finally stopped moving, two guys in masks emptied the truck of all the cages except mine and locked the door again. We stayed there for long enough that I fell asleep again. When I woke up next, I felt a really bad shock. I was being prodded with an electric baton." Beast Boy shuddered, remembering the event vividly in his mind as he closed his eyes. Raven's eyes glowed red in anger as she heard of his mistreatment. Calming herself down, she rubbed his back again and urged him to continue.
"I quickly became the in-home entertainment for whoever the person was. I was kept in a basement and was only brought up when guests were over. They'd all take turns prodding me and forcing me to change into various animals. To prevent me from changing into animals to escape, a high-tech collar was attached to my neck which shocked me back to my normal form whenever I changed during a certain time. They also barely ever fed me to ensure that I didn't have enough energy to fight through the shock. This went on for a long time, I don't know how long. It was hell. I thought I was gonna die there." Beast Boy finished as he began to sob. Raven nearly shuddered in anger as her eyes turned red and half of Beast Boy's destroyed belongings were encased with dark energy, unbeknownst to Beast Boy who had his eyes shut in emotional pain. Forcing herself to calm down yet again, Raven reined her emotions in and held Beast Boy in an embrace once more. This time he simply whimpered as Raven consoled him verbally and physically. Telling him it was alright and they couldn't hurt him anymore. Inside, Raven was screaming in anger at whoever did it and disappointment in herself that she didn't know of his pain sooner. Her emotions all clamored and yelled at her from inside Nevermore at how she could be so ignorant. Calming both herself and Beast Boy down, Raven stopped consoling him and simply held him as if he was made of glass. As she held him, she realized she really cared about him. More than she thought she could. Feeling better in her embrace, Beast Boy didn't move but felt the need to get even more off his chest.
"Eventually, one of the guests alerted the police and I was taken out of that situation. Where I went wasn't too much better, though. I was taken in by a foster family that promised to give me a childhood that was as close to normal as possible. It didn't take long for that to become a lie, though. The entire family constantly used me as the punchline of all their jokes. I was the family freak and they made sure I knew it. Somewhere along the line, they told me I'd be better off as a pet than an actual person. Eager for acceptance, I agreed and was only allowed outside of the house as a dog with a leash on at all times. They even had a metal collar made that was impossible for me to take off or shift out of. They then put up an electric fence so I couldn't leave unless I was supervised." Beast Boy got really quiet and closed his eyes. Raven felt herself slipping but simply hugged Beast Boy tighter and willed him to relieve his pain.
"That was when Rita, Elasti-Girl, happened to see me in the yard of my foster parent's house and saved me. It was the first time someone actually cared about me without getting any real gain out of it. She even set me up with a position on the Doom Patrol. If it wasn't for them I would have probably gone crazy. But of course, like everything else, it went bad. I overheard her and Sam, Negative Man, arguing about how they might have to kick me off the team for not being serious enough. I left that evening and only recently talked to them again. When I did, though only Rita wanted anything to do with me." Beast Boy finished, unable to cry anymore, he simply hung his head. Raven processed everything he had told her. Who would have though the team jokester held so much darkness inside of him. Raven immediately felt bad for all the times she had told him to be serious. She realized that his behavior was his own way to protect himself. As much as it may annoy her, it calmed him just like her meditation calmed her.
After a long moment of silence and thinking, Raven, still embracing Beast Boy, leaned down and kissed his forehead. Beast Boy was shocked at this and went still.
"Listen, Beast Boy. I can't possibly understand or imagine the amount of pain you've been through. I won't claim I do." Raven said, her monotone had returned. Beast Boy began to pull away only to be stopped by Raven tightening her grip on him. "But, I can do my best to make up for all the pain that you've been subjected to. Even though you annoy me sometimes, I still care about you. You know that, right?" Raven said, slightly more gentle than her normal monotone. Beast Boy nodded into her shoulder. Raven gathered her thoughts before speaking.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've had a lot of time to think while you've been sad and I realized that the team really needs you, and so do I." Raven said, at last. Somewhere inside her, a very inexperienced emotion jumped for joy. Beast Boy was taken aback. He never though Raven would ever say she needed him. Raven, the stoic unbreakable one needed him, the team jokester? Unsure if he heard her right, he asked.
"What do you mean, Raven?" Beast Boy asked, sadness beginning to leave his voice for the first time in over a month. Raven inwardly rejoiced as she heard his voice begin to normalize. She knew she had along way to go, but was happy that progress was being made.
"I mean exactly what I said, Beast Boy. I need you. You balance my absence of emotion with your overabundance of emotion. I never thought I'd be saying this but your presence completes me." Raven finished, unsure if he felt the same way but hoping that her honesty would cheer him up. She had a feeling he had a crush on her for awhile but had never realized her own feelings until he needed her to pick up his broken pieces.
"Are you...you. Are you asking me out?" Beast Boy asked, shocked, and convinced it was a joke.
"I...I guess I am." Raven faltered for less than a second.
"Are you sure you're not just doing it to make me feel better?" Beast Boy asked, still unsure if he was imagining it.
"I promise." Raven said. With that, she released her hold on Beast Boy and brought his face to hers before kissing him gently on the cheek. "It wont be easy, but I believe you and I need each other. You make me want to feel my emotions." Beast Boy's brain tried to comprehend the turn of events taking place. He hugged her, not trusting himself to say anything. Moments later he realized he hadn't told her he felt the same way. Still slightly uncomfortable with physical contact, Raven held Beast Boy at arms length and read his face for a reaction. Had she made a mistake in confessing her feelings for him?
"I...I really like you, Raven. I have for awhile now." Beast Boy said, slowly, looking in her eyes and blushing furiously. Raven blushed ever so slightly before speaking.
"Are you sure? It's okay if you don't."
"I do. I promise." Beast Boy said, hugging her hard, blush rising every second. "Thanks for helping me, Rae. It really means a lot." He added. Raven slightly smiled, happy to hear his nickname for her after so long. Deciding to let the hug and nickname slide just this once, Raven spoke.
"Anytime, Beast Boy." She promised, gently, hugging him back.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed the story. It's a little darker than what I usually write, but I figured I'd give it a shot. Be sure to let me know what you think!