Ever since I watched this episode, I can't help but feel robbed that we don't get to see more of Reid's reaction to the events that took place at the end. Please forgive me if I get some of the details wrong. I was recently introduced to Criminal Minds and am watching it for the first time right now. I'm still new to this fandom.

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. Credit for those parts go to the writers and creators at CBS.

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Jack. . . Your life has been, uh. . . It's been about violence, and if. . . you do this, Lindsey's will be, too. . . Do you want that? . . . When does it end, Jack? . . . When does it stop?

Tomorrow

The shotgun fire sounded like an explosion in the small restroom. Reid winced, slamming his eyes closed, but not quickly enough to avoid seeing Ryan Phillips' head - what was left of it - snap backwards as his body flopped lifelessly to the ground.

When he opened his eyes the walls and fixtures around the body were splattered with dark red blood and brain matter, and a dark puddle was seeping out from under the stall where Ryan's upper torso had fallen. Somewhere in the back of Reid's mind a voice was screaming at him to move, to check on the victim, to take the murder weapon into evidence. But Reid's ears were ringing from the shotgun blast and all he could do was stand and stare with his mouth agape.

He heard the shotgun being set on the ground next to the body. Heard the man remove his daughters handcuffs. Heard him whispering reassurances as he guided her out of the bathroom and into the hallway. But it was as if Reid was experiencing it all from underwater. He couldn't take his eyes off the body of the young man he had tried and failed to save.

Reid didn't know how long he stood frozen that way. Part of him recognized that he was experiencing symptoms of shock, but right now his brain function seemed to be suspended. He was still staring unblinkingly at the corpse when the rest of his team arrived.

Morgan took off his sunglasses as he, Hotch, Rossi, and the local detective surveyed the gruesome scene.

"You okay, Reid?" Morgan asked, startling Reid out of his trance.

"I . . . I tr-tried," Reid's mouth wanted to respond but his mind was still reeling. He looked around at Hotch, Rossi and Morgan. His mouth was dry. He swallowed and tried again.

"I tried . . . but I-I couldn't . . . " he trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

Hotch turned to examined the body and Reid asked the only question he could think to ask.

"What's gonna happen to Jack?"

Jack Vaughn had just murdered an unarmed kid. True, the kid had been a 28-year-old criminal, and had definitely deserved justice. But had he really deserved to have his brains blown out with a shotgun? Jack had executed him right in front of his own daughter, right in front of Reid. And Reid hadn't stopped him.

"It depends," Rossi answered sourly, "On how important a 'witness' he is."

Rossi and Hotch exchanged a dark look, knowing that Jack's status as a State Witness was most likely going to protect this violent man from any consequences of the act he had just committed. He and his daughter would be relocated to another place and another life where they could start over, free and clear. Morgan laid a consoling hand on Reid's shoulder before he and Rossi silently followed the local detective out of the bathroom, leaving Hotch alone with Reid and the corpse.

—

"Reid?" Spencer looked up to meet Hotch's scrutinizing eyes. "I need you to tell me what happened."

"Jack had a shotgun." Reid began. "Ryan was on the ground pleading with Jack not to kill him. And Lyndsey . . . she kept telling Jack to do it. I thought I could convince him not to . . . I thought I could talk him down, but he . . . he just . . ."

"You did what you thought was best." Hotch responded gently.

"Did I?" Reid's hands were shaking now as he finally holstered his gun, and his voice was higher than normal. "I could have stopped him. I had the shot, but I didn't take it. If I'd shot Jack before he shot . . . before he . . ."

Reid swallowed and glanced at the body on the floor with unfocused eyes. His face paled even further. He looked back up at Hotch.

"I didn't take the shot."

Hotch frowned. "Spencer, you know this wasn't your fault. You know who Jack was. There wasn't anything anyone could have—"

"You would have taken the shot." Reid cut him off.

"You don't know that—"

"Morgan would have taken the shot! Emily would have taken the shot!" Reid's voice was rising.

"You aren't Morgan or Prentis," Hotch said calmly. "Nobody expected you to—"

But Reid wasn't really listening anymore.

"I didn't want to shoot him! Not in front of his daughter. I thought if I could just . . . just convince him to put down the gun. . ." A tear dripped onto Reid's hand and he was surprised to realize he was crying. He ran his hands over his face, struggling to regain his composure. "And it almost worked. . . I thought it was working. But then . . . I don't know what . . . everything happened so fast . . . I should have . . . but I didn't take the shot."

—

Hotch waited patiently for Reid to finish rambling. The kid was obviously in shock, and Hotch couldn't blame him. Hotch didn't have to be a profiler to see that the young doctor was clearly traumatized. While this wasn't the first time Reid had witnessed the unfortunate death of an unsub, Hotch suspected it was the first time he had witnessed a violent murder - not self-defense or suicide by cop or accidental death. Hotch wasn't surprised to see the tears on Reid's cheeks. He understood that it wasn't a display of weakness. This was a natural reaction to the type of emotionally charged situation Reid had just experienced. And he guessed, based on his gray complexion and the way Reid kept fidgeting and swallowing convulsively, that he was probably experiencing nausea, which was also completely understandable.

His suspicion was confirmed when Reid suddenly gagged and stumbled into one of the stalls. Hotch could hear him being violently sick. He decided to give Reid some privacy and stepped into the hallway in search of a water bottle.

He nearly ran into Prentis who was standing just outside the door holding a bottle of water and a pack of breath mints.

"How's Reid?" she asked.

"Upset. Traumatized." Hotch answered, taking the water bottle and mints. No doubt Rossi or Morgan had foreseen Reid's inevitable visceral reaction and sent Prentis with supplies. "He feels responsible."

"What happened in there?" Emily asked. "Morgan only said that Jack Vaughn killed our unsub but he didn't say . . ."

"Shotgun to the head at close range." Hotch answered the unasked question. Emily winced. "Reid was trying to talk him out of it."

"That sounds like Reid," said Emily. "So what went wrong?"

"It didn't work." Hotch answered quickly, breaking off the conversation as Reid pushed open the bathroom door, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He still looked pale and shaky, but seemed to be recovering.

"You okay?" Emily asked, as Hotch handed Reid the water bottle.

"Yeah. No, I'm fine" Reid answered, a little too confidently. "Just ate something that didn't agree with me, I guess." He uncapped the water with trembling fingers and took a drink.

Hotch could tell that Emily didn't buy the flimsy lie, but shot her a look that stopped her from challenging it. He knew Reid was trying to avoid appearing weak in front of the team.

"Okay. . . Good, then." She responded lamely, glancing quizzically back at Hotch.

Reid wasn't fooling anyone. He wasn't fine, and probably wouldn't be for a while. But if he needed to pretend to be okay in order to get through the coming days and weeks Hotch wasn't going to stop him. He was, however, going to keep a close eye on him. He wasn't about to let Reid fall back into old habits.

"Ready to go, Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked. He was tactful enough not to comment on Reid's disheveled appearance or earlier behavior.

"Yes." Reid gave Morgan a tight-lipped smile that didn't reach his eyes, which were still red-rimmed and horrified.

Together with JJ and Rossi, the team strolled out into the bright sunlight and climbed into their black SUVs.

No, Reid was not okay. But he would be. Hotch would make sure if it.

–

Author's Note: I'm not sure if this story is complete, or not. Part of me wants to follow Reid for a few more hours or days or weeks and see how he copes with the trauma. I remember that there are hints in the following few episodes that he is not coping well. But, at the same time, there are so many other episodes that I feel inspired to write about. I guess we'll see.