Smile! You're on Shark Cam! (Christmas Gift-Fic for Kay Hau)

(Set in Kay Hau's fic, My Dad is Bad but Still Family. It was mentioned in Chapter 37 and is set after the Golf Tournament)

Lord Garmadon sat behind a table and grinned at the camera as a song played in the background that sounded like a mix of the Jaws theme and a news show intro. He was sitting behind a desk that looked like something found in a fishing supplies shop with a large red button in the middle. The area around him decorated to match that aesthetic, aside from a large screen set into the wall at his right that was currently set at just a title card.

At the signal from one of his minions, he said, "Sit down and shut up, minions and nerds, it's time for another awesome episode of the greatest show in the volcano and the universe, Shark Cam! I'm your host and greatest villain of all time, Lord Garmadon. And this is my co-host."

Between him and the screen sat his son, who let out a resigned sigh, "Lloyd Garmadon, hi," he said with an awkward wave at the camera. "Sorry in advance to anyone who appears on this show."

"Why would you be sorry, La-loyd," Garmadon scoffed. "We're making them famous in the most entertaining way possible." He then grinned nastily at the camera. "Entertaining for us at least."

Lloyd just rolled his eyes.

"And now let's get started," said Garmadon. "But first, La-loyd, tell any newbies the rules of the show."

"As everyone in the volcano should know, the sharks in our waters are friendly and love attention. The great whites especially like belly rubs," said Lloyd like this was common knowledge everyone should know. "However, most people outside the volcano don't know that, and can really freak out at the sight of them."

"Which is so darn fun to see," said Garmadon gleefully. He then waved at a screen next to them. "And that is why we have this!"

The screen changed to show an overview of a dock outside the volcano with some of Garmadon's scientists attaching video cameras to three sharks swimming alongside it. One of the scientists looked up and waved at the camera, "Hi, Mom!" he called.

The camera ignored him and zoomed in on the three sharks, who seemed to enjoy the attention as they swam in circles and made an odd, "Nom, nom, nom," sound.

Lloyd smiled at them like a proud pet parent. "Meet three of our best sharks, Garfield, Maude, and Donatello," he said. "Or, as they can also be called, Gar, Ma, and Don."

A laugh track sounded at that.

"Yeah, those sharks got great taste in names. These babies are gonna use those cameras on their heads to go up to swimmers off the coast of Ninjago and scare the dickens out of anyone they see while we judge those losers harshly for everything they do and stand for. Why?" Garmadon questioned. His face then took on an evil grin, "Because it's fun, of course."

Next to him, Lloyd quietly held up a sign that said 'Sorry!' so that his father wouldn't see it.

Oblivious to this, Garmadon lifted a remote out from under the desk. "So let's look at our first victim of the day!"

They both turned to screen next to them as it shifted to the view from one of the sharks cameras, and in the corner was a bit of text that read 'GAR', indicating it was Garfield's camera that was rolling, though for now, all that could be seen was the blue of the ocean as he swam through it.

"Now our eyes in the sky have reported a couple of scuba divers over in the reefs away from the usual swimming areas," said Garmadon gleefully. "Let's give them an experience they won't soon forget."

Soon enough Garfield was making his way through a reef and the camera caught sight of two people in scuba gear admiring the coral set on a large rocky overhang.

"There they are," said Garmadon, grinning in anticipation.

With his targets in sight, Garfield began sneaking up on unsuspecting swimmers. Without going too close, he swam nearby and waited for them to see him.

The divers didn't even notice him.

Garfield came a bit closer, swimming around the area in ominous circles.

The two divers still didn't see him and seemed to be more focused on taking underwater selfies with the coral.

"Not the most observant pair, are they," said Garmadon rudely.

"Dad, no," Lloyd groaned.

Garfield swam even closer so that his shadow loomed over the divers menacingly.

They still didn't notice him, and instead seemed enraptured by a little clownfish hiding in an anemone.

"Really unobservant."

"Dad!"

The laugh track sounded in the background.

Garfield was practically on top of them now, scattering the fish around them into frightened swarms.

The divers just watched the fish swim frenziedly around, not even bothering to look for what was frightening them.

"Uh, okay, I take it back. These guys are really unobservant. I mean what the heck?"

"Ha! Told ya, La-Loyd. They're practically asking for it at this point."

Seemingly fed up with being ignored, Garfield swam right up to one of the swimmers and nudged him with his snout.

The diver turned and finally saw him. He let out a muffled shout through his diving mask that let out a stream of bubbles and back-peddled into his partner, drawing her attention and fright as well. The two frantically swam as fast as they could to cower under the rocky outcropping and hide.

Garmadon was laughing his head off at that reaction alongside the laugh track. "AHAHAHAHAHA!" he said, wiping a flaming tear from his eye. "That was perfect. Those two losers had no clue! And their faces, Pffft!"

Lloyd looked amused as well. "Yeah, not the best response to an unknown shark sighting, I'll tell you that. I mean really. Gar actually had to ask for their attention. Who could be that unobservant."

"No kidding," said Garmadon, thumping his fist on the table.

Pulling himself together. Garmadon turned back to the camera with a nasty grin. "And now's the part where we get to judge them and their reactions. Now for being morons who are so blind they wouldn't see a threat if it danced naked in front of them, I award these two mooks, .00000006 points," he said, making sure to say all the zeros. He glanced at his son and asked, "La-loyd?"

Lloyd hummed thoughtfully. "They really were that unobservant, and you really shouldn't thrash around like that when you see a shark you don't know, as it might mistake you for food. But at least they took cover and didn't attempt to surface, which is dangerous to do quickly when scuba diving. I'll give 'em a 5. Could be better, but could have been worse."

With that, Garfield swam away, leaving the scared divers to cower.

"I'm now getting that another shark has spotted another pair of swimmers in a cove, possibly on a date," said Garmadon eagerly as the background track made and 'Aww' sound and hearts floated past the screen. "Let's go ruin it, shall we?"

"Dad, no," Lloyd groaned.

From the little text that said 'MA' at the bottom of the footage, it was now Maude at the camera. She was swimming close to the surface so that her camera peeked above the water.

In a partially hidden cove outside the city sat two teens sitting on top of floaties that seemed to be chatting with each other. The boy seemed comfortable to just sit in his floaty, but the girl would occasionally dive in or splash at the water.

At the sight of them, Lloyd perked up. "Hey, wait! That's Jay and Nya!" he said.

At that, Maude stopped approaching them, and Garmadon looked at Lloyd with a raised eyebrow.

Realizing his father probably hadn't memorized his friends' names (or even bothered to remember them at all), Lloyd explained, "You know, my friends from school. They've had sleepovers here twice now."

Garmadon's confusion cleared. "Ah yes, your loyal minions," he said.

"Yeah, my 'minions,'" Lloyd said with quotation marks. "It's not a date (yet). I forgot Nya wanted to practice her swimming today and took Jay with her to be her swimming buddy," he said, not wanting to tell his father Nya was actually out there to practice her water powers (and hoping she'd continue to have trouble with them so his father wouldn't see it on camera).

"Hmmm," said Garmadon scratching his chin. Then he shrugged. "Well, they're your minions. Can we spook 'em, or…"

"NO!" Lloyd said emphatically. "No way, Dad. Jay's got anxiety problems. In the middle of the ocean is the absolute last place I want him to have a panic attack."

Garmadon blew a raspberry in disappointment. "Not exactly the best minion material there if he can't keep his head in a crisis," he said.

Lloyd rolled his eyes. It's not like he could tell him Jay was actually better in a crisis than most of Ninjago. Secret identities and all. "Jay's more the brainy type anyway and is good at building mechs. If anything he's a future science minion, not a general," he said to satisfy his father.

Garmadon grinned widely at that response and reached over to pull Lloyd into a hug. "Aw, look at you, already planning your future minion hierarchy. I'm so proud," he said, wiping another tear from his eye as applause sounded in the background. "Okay, they get 3 points. Can't go higher, since we didn't really see them react."

Lloyd just bit his tongue and tried not to show how much he hated to lie to his father.

Maude turned and swam away, leaving Nya and Jay none the wiser.

"And now we have a surfer who happened to come out a little too far," said Garmadon cheerfully, ready to move on to the next one.

The background track played some surfer music to go along with it.

With the little text now saying 'DON', Donatello cut through the waves as he approached the woman on her surfboard.

Unlike the last two attempts, this victim noticed Donatello right away, and with a panicked shout fell off her surfboard at the sight of him.

"Haha, wipeout!"

"Dad, no!"

"Dad, YES!"

Donatello ducked underwater to continue to view the surfer, who stared back and seemed to get more panicked by the moment.

"Uh, Dad, I think this might be bad."

"Aw, it's not that bad. She's just gotta get back on her board and she'll be fine."

The surfer seemed to swallow more than a little seawater and scrambled to kick back to the surface.

Only to bang her head hard against the surfboard and seem to knock herself out. Donatello stopped his approach and hovered nearby nervously.

At the sight of that, Lloyd's eyes widened, and he slammed his hand on the red button in the middle of the table.

Immediately, the words 'Dolphin Rescue!' flashed across the screen along with a loud emergency siren.

A moment later, a dolphin wearing a medical vest appeared on the scene, ducked under the unconscious surfer to push her back to the surface and speedily began swimming her to the nearest lifeguard.

Garmadon groaned at the sight. "Aw, lame," he lamented.

Lloyd let out a shaky sigh of relief, and explained to the camera, "For those who don't know, Dolphin Rescue is when those caught on camera react in a way that is hazardous to their own health and can move them to safety."

"Psh," Garmadon scoffed. "And having to get a rescue is an automatic 0 points from both of us. Not sure why rescues are needed. Aside from my invasions, there haven't been any shark attacks in Ninjago for years. I keep 'em well fed, why would they wanna eat people. If some bozos are so dumb to not realize that, why bother saving them?"

"Dad, remember Jaws," Lloyd said with an air he'd explained this already several times. "If our sharks are considered dangerous they might be hunted down."

Garmadon growled hearing that. "Those losers better not."

"If they're not a danger, then they're not in danger. Besides, you still need people to rule over once you conquer the city," said Lloyd, not sounding like he believed it would happen, but just trying to appease him. "Can't do that if they die."

"Good point," said Garmadon with a disappointed sigh. He then waved his hand and said, "On to the next one."

This time it was back to Maude as she approached a lone snorkeler.

"Thoughts, La-loyd?"

"Well, he's already got points off. You should always swim with a buddy."

Maude approached the snorkeler slowly, and he seemed to catch sight of her and froze.

"Oh, he saw her."

"Great! Now we get to the good stuff."

The snorkeler continued to tread water, and not react to Maude other than to stare at her tensely. Hoping for more of a reaction, Maude swam closer.

Then, in a quick jab, the snorkeler punched Maude in the eye, sending her reeling back in pain, before quickly swimming away.

"HE PUNCHED MAUDE!" Lloyd screeched, standing up from the desk and looking horrified.

"NEGATIVE BAZILLION POINTS!" Garmadon snarled, also standing up and seething in rage. He then turned to shout off camera. "NERDS! Find this guy! We're clobbering him when we next invade!"

"You can't invade for months, Dad," Lloyd said through gritted teeth, for once feeling disappointed by that fact. "You signed an agreement with the Mayor."

Garmadon growled again and seemed to think on it, before yelling, "Then find this guy and 'accidentally' fire something out of the volcano to land on his house! Or his car. He looks like the kind of jerk who cares way too much about his car."

Lloyd, for once, had no complaints about that. No one hurt his sharks.

Off-screen, a scientist scanned the snorkeler's picture from the footage. She quickly found his ID, and the car licensed in his name and it's location.

A second later, they all heard volcano go off.

Boy was that snorkeler in for a surprise when he got ashore.

Lloyd and Garmadon both needed to take several deep breaths and a commercial break to calm down before returning to their show.

"Let's find someone who isn't a shark punching jerk," Garmadon said, still prickly about what they'd just seen. "I'm now hearing that we've got a bunch of girls out on a raft. Let's see how they handle it."

"Just don't pop the raft," said Lloyd, who'd used the commercial break to run down to the aquarium and give Maude a well-deserved belly-rub for her troubles.

Garfield approached the raft with his fin and camera above water so that it had a clear visual as it approached.

The first thing that was obvious about the raft was all the green. The raft was green, and all the girls riding in it were wearing green bathing suits or bikinis.

It only took a moment for Lloyd to recognize them. "Oh no," he said.

One of the girls in the raft happened to glance their way and do a double-take. "Hey, is that a shark?" she asked her friends.

"Finally, some observant people," said Garmadon.

"Maybe a little too observant," said Lloyd.

The other girls all looked as well. "Oh, look, it's got a camera!" squealed another, proving Lloyd's point.

As one, the girls all began waving at the camera eagerly, and one in the middle stood up and held a sign in the air that read, 'WE LOVE YOU, LLOYD!'

Lloyd didn't know why the Lloyd Protection Fan Club was out on the water in a raft, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. At least this reaction was a pick me up from the last one.

His father definitely agreed. "10 points to them!" he said with a beaming smile and clapping Lloyd on the shoulder as the applause sounded again. "Anyone who appreciates my son is okay in my books." He then sniffled and looked misty-eyed with pride as he added, "He's already gaining more supporters for his future evil empire!"

"Uh, yeah, same, 10 points," said Lloyd feeling flustered, but resolving to let Karen know the sharks like belly-rubs next time he saw her.

Cue more applause.

"Okay, last victim of the day," said Garmadon, now in a far better mood. "Who will it be."

The camera shifted to Donatello approaching a swimmer treading water. But what was most interesting was that in the background was-

"Wait, is that the volcano?" asked Lloyd.

Garmadon scowled. "Is someone slacking off on the job?" he asked, not being one to tolerate laziness in his workers.

The swimmer dived down and Donatello approached her stealthily. As he drew nearer, it was easier to see the flash of red hair as she swam through the water.

"Wait, is that-" Lloyd started to ask.

The swimmer turned around and blinked at the shark before smiling and patting him on the head, revealing herself to be…

"TEN MILLION GAZILLION POINTS!" Garmadon bellowed, jumping to his feet and startling everyone, and a bell began ringing to signify a big winner.

"What? Why?" asked Lloyd in surprise.

"BECAUSE SHE'S KOKO!" Garmadon declared like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

And Lloyd couldn't disagree with that.

On-screen, Koko continued to pet the shark, but then her hand brushed against his camera and her eyes narrowed. With one final pat, she swam away.

Seeing that, Garmadon suddenly began to look nervous. Sitting back down, he said rapidly, "Well, folks, that's our show for tonight. Be sure to turn in next time to see-"

"Garm, why was your shark wearing- Wait, what's going on here?" Koko said as she stepped into the room still clad in her bathing suit.

The show immediately cut off, and the screen filled with static.

That was the last episode of Shark Cam to be aired…

… At least, as far as Koko was aware.

A/N MERRY CHRISTMAS, KAY HAU! Surprise! I wrote you a gift-fic for the holiday season, I really hope you like it. To all other readers, this is another of the many ideas Kay Hau and I talked about when discussing and beta reading each other's fics. At some point, we thought it would be a very Garmadon thing to do for him to do his own Shark Week show where he stuck cameras on his sharks' heads and had them scare swimmers. The idea just expanded from there, including Lloyd the reluctant co-host, dolphins to rescue unfortunate swimmers and Koko getting tons of points just because she's Koko. The ideas for all this were split pretty evenly down the middle between us, and it was just so fun to think about. She even mentioned it in Chapter 37 of My Dad is Bad but Still Family, even if she wasn't planning on expanding on it. Happy holidays, everyone.

Special thanks to Carrie2sky for Beta Reading this chapter. Since this was a surprise, I couldn't give it to Kay Hau to read like usual, so I asked her to beta for this one. I highly recommend her work as well, especially her and EMPFangirl02's collab fic, Switched. It's tons of fun and I implore you to check it out. Merry Christmas, Carrie2sky.

IMPORTANT NOTE! I and some other authors have been having difficulty getting PMs through email as usual. I'm sure that feature will be fixed soon, but if you leave a comment on this fic and want to see my reply, check your PM folder on this site instead of email.