Despite wondering over Caroline's odd behaviour, Mac really wasn't in a position to question it, right this second.

Because at that very moment, he found himself having to referee a screaming match between his ex-girlfriend and his rabid stalker, which was looking increasingly like it might turn violent. He knew he had better intervene before it came to blows, and he would just have to worry about Caroline later.

He finally got both Sue and Holly separated, aided by Boyce and Martin, and calmed down – no thanks to Guy – who was making unhelpful quips from the peanut gallery.

And then he got to the subject of their fight – the paternity of his son. The claims Sue had been making, turned out to be true. As in, Mackenzie was not his.

Holly had cynically manipulated both him and her son, all in some disgusting plot to get him back.

It was evil, involving an innocent child, and playing on his wish to be a father. And the really stupid thing about it was, it would never have worked! He wasn't interested in Holly that way, his heart belonged elsewhere. He could at least be honest with himself about that. The truth was, it had belonged to Caroline for quite some time, even before he remembered what happened before the accident, in fact.

And he did now, remember, that was, and he was at a loss how to move forward.

Lately, Caroline had seemed, well, distant and uninterested. If it wasn't for the moment Holly had interrupted on the bench, he would have thought she didn't even like him.

He hadn't imagined that moment, their connection, he was sure of that. She was going to kiss him.

And then his stupid ex had to ruin it.

The crowd now dispersed, Mac, grateful that he had finished his shift, went to his locker to collect his things, so he could go home. When he opened his locker door, Caroline's letter fell out, and he picked it up and stuffed it into his jacket. He could read it later – tonight he wanted to get roaring drunk, and numb the pain of Holly, once again, denying him the chance to be a dad, and poisoning the good things in his life with her twisted schemes.

He drove home, got in, threw off his jacket, with the letter still in it, and slumped on the sofa.

He was still there when he woke up hungover, the next morning.

He stirred himself from his pity party, and managed to get to the hospital on time, glad that although he was feeling the effects of the night before, he hadn't drunk so much that he was unsafe to drive. Having slept on it, he was feeling a bit better about the whole situation with Holly, who had quit her job yesterday, and also with Caroline, who he hoped he would finally get a chance to speak with today.

Preferably alone. Preferably without a fat, swiss zeppelin looming over them, for once.

She wasn't around when he was putting his things away and changing into his scrubs, but he wasn't concerned. She started earlier than him today, he recalled, and so he assumed she was likely off dealing with a patient.

When, a few hours later, he got to theatre however, he was dismayed to see she wasn't there, and a locum was in her place. Guy looked equally confused, and after the operation was over, suggested they ask Sue if Caroline had called in sick.

Mac was reluctant to spend any time near Sue White, but felt that in this case, it was warranted, as she was the staff liaison officer, and would be likely to know. So, he and Guy went straight to her office to ask her what gives.

Unfortunately, she was even less helpful than usual.

"I don't know what to tell you gentlemen, I have no idea where she is. I certainly wasn't informed that she would be off today."

Which was actually the truth, for once. Caroline had not told Sue anything about leaving. She wasn't obliged to, under her contract and she knew that if she had, it would have been round the hospital in seconds. In fact, since Caroline had neither needed nor wanted her advice as staff liaison, and had dealt with her boss and Joanna directly, Sue had not been involved in her departure at all.

Since Sue clearly didn't know anything about Caroline's absence, Guy suggested they speak with Joanna. Surely, as the head of HR, she would know what was going on? Mac agreed it was a good idea, and they headed off to Human Resources.

They received rather short shrift from Guy's mother. Caroline was not there, she told them briskly, because she had left East Hampton for another hospital. No, she did not know which one, and frankly, she didn't care. She was glad to be rid of the ragamuffin doctor whose appearance and demeanour gave the hospital a bad name, she said.

Mac was momentarily tempted to punch, her, but talked himself out of it. Guy could see the warlike tilt to his head, and the gleam in his eyes however, and ushered him out of his mother's office sharpish. Not that Guy didn't think his mother deserved it, but he really didn't want to deal with the accompanying shit storm.

They stopped in the corridor and leaned against the wall, both of them with their arms crossed defensively as they tried to process their confusion and hurt feelings.

"I can't believe it," Mac said finally. "I mean, why didn't she say something. Unless," he turned on his friend, "she said something to you, and you've been keeping it a secret!" He accused.

"What? No! Of course not!" Guy defended himself, and Mac deflated.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I know you wouldn't do that," he apologised, and Guy softened.

"I don't understand it either mate, it doesn't make any sense. She never said anything to you?"

Mac shook his head, "it's been a bit difficult lately, what with Holly and the accident and everything." He paused for a moment, considering, and then he went on, "I mean, looking back on it now, we've not really been talking for a long time." He confessed, sadly.

Guy looked thoughtful, and then downcast. "No, me neither, well, we were never that close, but with stuff¸ and all I've been dealing with, I've not really paid that much attention to her."

Both men were beginning to see a pattern emerging. A woman they had believed to be a good friend, and possibly more in Mac's case, and they had not noticed her withdrawing from them.

Without a word they went their separate ways.

That evening, Mac was by his bike, putting his helmet on, and reaching into his pocket for his keys, when he remembered the letter Caroline had put into his locker. He wanted to open it there and then, but he spotted Guy walking towards a taxi, and decided not to risk him seeing it. Caroline obviously meant for it to be private, and he didn't want to share it with the other man. He drove home, making record time, and counting his lucky stars he didn't get stopped for speeding.

When he got inside, he carefully put down his helmet, and then threw himself onto his sofa, eager to read the letter which had been languishing in his pocket since yesterday.

He opened, it, and settled into read. It was handwritten, in Caroline's lovely, flowing script. He was rather glad that she did not have stereotypical doctor's handwriting, all her words were legible.

'Dear Mac,

I'm not entirely sure what to say, or how to express how I feel. But I can't leave without saying goodbye, and since I can't get your attention in person, this felt like the only recourse,'

Mac winced, remembering when she tried to speak with him, and he blew her off. He deeply regretted it now. And all the other missed opportunities to speak with her.

'I want you to know, how much I am going to miss you. How much I wish I could stay with you. I love you. And now I know you don't feel the same way,"

"What!" Mac declared out loud. How did she know he didn't feel the same!? She'd never asked!

'I can't stay here and watch you with someone, anyone, else. I think it would destroy me. I'm not blaming you, it's not your fault. But that night, before the accident, when we kissed, I thought we really might have something. And then you forgot me.

I was overjoyed that you woke up, but I hated myself for being disappointed that you didn't remember us. I should have just been glad that you were okay, and I wanted to punish myself for being ungrateful.

And then I thought, well, maybe if you fell for me once, you might fall again. And since I have no idea why you liked me in the first place,'

"Oh, God!" Mac declared, getting seriously worried about her lack of self-worth, and clearly seeing now, how unhappy she'd always been.

'I figured I'd just be myself, and that might be enough, but it wasn't.'

"Yes, it bloody was!" He shouted, annoyed by the implication.

'I heard you, you know, when you called me the "biggest freak in town…the googly eyed Neanderthal,". You have no idea how much that hurt. For you to lay out three of the biggest things I hate about myself, and then imply that a night with me would be terrifying. I knew then that there was no chance of a rekindling.'

"Shit," Mac declared, remembering that moment, and that game of The Spoon of Destiny. She obviously hadn't stayed long enough to hear him say that he rather liked her. And clearly, what she had heard, devasted her. He hated himself right then, for hurting her so much. He wanted to throw the letter away in disgust, he felt so guilty, but he forced himself to keep reading. It was the least he could do for her.

'So, I started thinking what I could do make things better, maybe make myself more attractive to you. And then it hit me, how toxic I'd let things get. How I had been sliding into depression and been completely unaware of it. I knew if I wanted to get better, I couldn't stay at the hospital, pining away for you, and potentially losing myself in the process. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. So, I decided I had to leave.

I looked for a new job, far away from here. I had made my application, but was having second thoughts, when you came and told me we needed to wipe the slate clean,"

"Jesus," Mac groaned, thinking this couldn't get any worse.

'And I took that as a sign that I was doing the right thing. I went for an interview for my new job, and the staff there were so kind and welcoming. The head of my department, Professor Uren, was very keen to have me join them, apparently, he knows one of my original teachers, and he spoke very highly of me.

I found myself a beautiful place to live – I even own my own home for the first time! And I've got myself into treatment for depression. I really think this is for the best.

I realise that when we had that moment on the bench, the one Holly interrupted, that you likely remembered a similar conversation we had outside the hospital, the night of the accident. But I think whatever you felt for me then was just nostalgia, or temporary madness. Maybe you were worried about leaving and living with Emily and clinging onto something familiar. And I was there and made no secret of my interest in you. You were just flattered by the attention. I think without me pestering you, you will find your life a lot simpler.'

"I don't want simple, I want you!" He shouted, and hated that she couldn't hear him, and believed she wasn't good enough for him. He felt it was the other way around, he didn't deserve her.

'So, this is me, saying goodbye and good luck. I do love you; I think I always will. And I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Please don't forget me, and when you think of me, I hope you'll remember me fondly.

Love,

Caroline.'

Mac didn't realise he had started crying, until he felt the first tear run down his face and hand off his chin. He sniffed and rubbed his eyes harshly, embarrassed by his lapse in self-control. And then, remembering he was alone in his own home, he let the tears come.

He mourned for what could have been, remonstrated with himself over the all the hurt and misunderstandings, and for how he had treated her since her first day.

How could he have been so dismissive, so cold and yet such a sweet and kind woman had fallen in love with him? He really didn't deserve her, he believed, but he wanted her all the same.

First things first, he had to find her.

How many 'Professor Urens' could there be in the NHS?

Turns out there was only one Professor Uren, a Neal Uren who was Professor of Interventional Cardiology, at the Royal Infirmary, Edinburgh and at the University of Edinburgh. Caroline certainly had moved up in the world. The Royal was rather prestigious, and would be a feather in her cap. As much as he missed her, he did not resent her getting to complete her training at such a brilliant hospital and with such a mentor.

That didn't mean he was willing to let things go, however. He still wanted Caroline, and since he wouldn't dream of asking her to leave her new post, he would just have to go to her. Normally, making such a huge decision would take him months of agonising, it had with Emily and the move to Sheffield, but just the other day, he'd received all the incentive he needed to grab life by the balls and take a chance.

A routine appointment with Dr Clooney, his neurologist, had turned out to be life changing when the man mistakenly told him he was going to die. He'd given him the wrong results, they actually belonged to a patient of the same name, but one who was forty years older than him.

But it had been enough to jolt him into action. To remind him that his time was limited and he had already wasted so much of it when it came to Caroline.

He'd handed in his notice to the hospital, and brushed off all blandishments at making him stay – even the offer of promotion to consultant.

He applied for a position and was accepted as a consultant at the Western General, in Edinburgh. He didn't want to force himself into Caroline's life, and felt he would be doing so if he worked at the same hospital as her. He would speak to her, and offer himself, and let her decide. And then, if she told him she didn't want to see him, then that was that. If they worked in the same hospital and she rejected him, it would be beyond awkward. No, this way was much better for everyone.

When the time came, he packed up and rented out his flat, and made his way north. He was both excited and nervous, but utterly convinced that this was the right thing to do.

Three months since he'd last seen Caroline, Mac found himself stood by his bike, waiting outside the main entrance of the Royal Infirmary. Some snooping had told him that Caroline's shift had ended a few minutes ago, and that she used this exit to catch a bus home. Why she wasn't using her car, he didn't know, but that didn't really matter.

All that mattered was, if there was any justice in the world, he would be seeing her soon.

So, he waited, nervously. He hand is his pocket, fiddling with the little, velvet covered box he had in there.

Just then, he spotted her. She was walking along, looking down at her phone, absent-mindedly dodging the other people coming in and out of the hospital. There were a lot of them, for sure. This place was huge, and he couldn't imagine trying to find his way around. He hoped it was well sign posted.

He knew the moment she spotted him; he could feel it. That, and, she stopped dead in her tracks for a moment. The person walking behind her tutted and walked around her stationary form, giving her an irritated glare.

He waited to see if she would approach him… or flee.

It felt like he was waiting there forever, but it was probably only a few minutes.

Then, she started walking purposefully towards him. Before she could open her mouth and say anything, he got down on one knee, and presented her with the ring box, opening it to reveal the engagement ring he'd picked out.

"Caroline, will you marry me?"

In the surgeons' lounge at the Royal Infirmary, a rather harassed looking nurse stormed in, and called out, "Doctor McCartney?"

Two people in white coats, a man and a woman, who were sitting close together, and looked to be filling in a crossword, looked up and said in unison, "Yes?"

Then they both added, "Which one?"

The nurse muttered that she really 'didn'ae get paid enough fer this shite'.

The End