cicatrize (v.)
to find healing by the process of forming scars

Natsu shows up at your house on the first day of summer with a mix tape and a duffel bag.

"C'mon," he says, taking your hand and pulling you toward the car. "We're going on an adventure."

Your parents have been cautious since the winter, but your mom adores Natsu and trusts him to keep you safe, so she lets you climb in the passenger seat of Rhapsody and head off into the mountains.

The drive is bright, and the sky is blue, and Natsu rolls down the window while he sings along to some pop music you don't recognize. You tap your feet to the rhythm and when Natsu sees, he gives you a smile that makes your heart skip.

You wind through mountains and past fields, twisting further and further into places you've never been until you're lost and full of wonder. You press your face against the window and stare down into the valleys of trees, across lakes the reflect the sun, up to mountain tops that are dotted with snow as they pierce the sky.

"You okay?" Natsu asks after a while. You look back over at him.

"Yeah," you say, and you mean it.

The corner of Natsu's lip quirks up and he glances over at you quickly with bright eyes before turning back to the winding road. "Are the meds helping?" he asks.

"I think so," you say, thinking of the bottle of pills rattling in the bottom of your backpack. "They make it brighter."

Natsu doesn't say anything else, just reaches out and grabs your hand, squeezing it tightly as you head deeper into the places the world made before humans were alive.

Eventually you pull over for lunch on the side of the highway, sitting on the back of the car while you eat. Natsu made peanut-butter-and-jam sandwiches and they taste like being six and playing in the park.

You like food, now. It doesn't hurt to eat.

"You hear that?" Natsu asks when you're done, and you follow his gaze into the woods on the side of the road. You hear water, thundering down from the mountaintop, cutting through the earth and filling the forest with sound. Natsu turns to you and grins, jumping up and grabbing your hand.

You head into the forest, ducking under mossy branches and over roots that twist and break the ground, catching each other when you lose your balance. Sunlight filters through the trees, gentle and golden, and casts dappled shadows over both of you as you make your way further into the forest.

"We're close!" Natsu says, tugging on your hand as the sound of pounding water gets louder and louder. He's practically vibrating with excitement and it's contagious, tugging you lips into a smile.

When you finally reach the waterfall, you can't do anything but stare. It's powerful and ancient, tearing its way through the rocks and crashing down into the basin at its base. Light spills and reflects off the surface of the water, and it calls to you, pulling you toward this primal, stunning force of nature.

You follow Natsu into the pool, rolling up your pants and shivering as the chill pricks at your skin. "It's freezing!" you shout, hunching your shoulders against the cold spray of the water. Natsu just laughs, tipping his head back and closing his eyes as the mist plasters his hair to his head. He's so bright and alive, and you feel like crying, but not because you're sad.

Before you can change your mind, you grab your shirt and tug it off over your head. Natsu looks at you with wide eyes, then grins, wading through the shallow water to tuck your clothes up onto a rocky ledge. You hold each other's arms as you kick off your pants and underwear, and then you're both naked, shivering as the breeze throws droplets of icy water your way.

Natsu moves to cross his arms over his chest but you shake your head, reaching out for his other hand and gripping it tightly. For the first time since you met him, he looks shy, cheeks pink as he stares down into the water instead of into your eyes.

He's gorgeous, and you want to tell him, but instead you pull him toward you as you back toward the waterfall, feeling your way over the rocks as the pounding water gets louder and louder. When you finally duck under the spray, it knocks your breath from you, slamming down onto your shoulders and plastering your hair to the back of your head.

You burst out laughing, tipping your head and letting the water run over your face. The rock is smooth against your back, holding you up as the water pounds down around you, terrifying and exhilarating. You feel weightless, like your body doesn't matter. You're a million tiny pieces, every little thing that makes up you, and the mountains, and the water that's washing away the things that hurt.

When you finally step out of the water, Natsu is staring at you with a strange expression. You shake out your hair, sputtering and wiping water from your face, and he reaches out to grab your hand.

"I've never heard you laugh before," he says softly, eyes searching your face. You stare at his freckles, at the scar on his chin, at the soft hairs that curl around the back of his neck.

It finally hits you that he's waiting for you to kiss him.

You take a step closer and his eyes widen – bright and green and full of life. When your fingers touch his cheek he exhales, hand coming up to cover yours, and then he turns his head and kisses the scar on your wrist.

Tiny sparks of light race from your palms to your chest, tingling and bursting under your skin, and you slide your fingers into his hair. He trembles against you and you pull him closer, then tip his head up and kiss him.

It's more right than anything you've felt in your life. He's warm under your fingertips, alive and brilliant and so in love with you that you can feel it in the way his hands pull you close. You're both surging, reckless beings, wild and dizzy with freedom and the summer sun.

When you finally break apart to breathe, his smile is radiant, and he runs his thumb over your cheek before nudging you back toward the water. You grin, pulling him close until you're both under the fall, gasping for breath and laughing as you hold each other close. All you can hear is the dull roar of the water as it pounds down around you, and you pull him in for another kiss.

"I love you," he whispers as you press together, fingers in your hair and on your hip. You can't stop touching him. He shivers as your hands roam across his shoulders, slip down his arms, brush across his collarbone, pull him close by the small of his back. Your heart pounds when he pushes you back against the wall, pressing his thigh between your legs and kissing you like you're the only thing in the world.

There's nothing in the world right now except the way you fit together, and all the pieces of you that he loves.

"I love you, too," you say against his lips, and they're the truest words you've ever said.

The first time you met him, you were at the lake, and he wasn't himself yet. You were broken and he was trapped, and everything had to shatter before it could be new.

But the first time you kiss him, you're in the place where the world was made, and he's himself, and you're becoming.