Seeing the response I got to 'A Minor Sealing Mishap' I've decided to crosspost Flaming Maelstroms across too - which was the fic 'A Minor Sealing Mishap' was based off of. Bear in mind this is a complete crack fic, so dubious morality, shennannigans and the like occur (don't read into things too much). This is an OP Miniaturised Team Seven causing chaos in the Warring Clans Era. Sasuke is a little shit, Sakura is a flaming ball of pyro-happy, and Naruto is just Naruto.

Mud sloshed beneath their feet, soaked and slippery from the ongoing flood from the skies. It was like the heavens themselves were mourning. Hardly surprising. The world as they'd known it was gone, corpses littering the ground around Team Seven as they just stood there. Everything they knew was gone – friends, teachers, allies… The shinobi alliance had succeeded, but that didn't really matter. Not when they were all dead.

Dirt covered their once vibrant clothes, all the world awash in muted colours, alliance headbands scattered on the ground – scratched and forgotten. It was over. Everything was over.

Sakura sighed, staring up at the sky. "Well… that didn't go as planned," she mumbled, scowling in the next second as Sasuke snorted derisively.

"No shit."

"Sasuke!" Naruto groaned. "How many times have I told you? Play nicely with others… It's no wonder Orochimaru didn't socialise you when he took you out for walkies."

"Don't talk about me like I'm a dog, dobe!" he hissed, glaring at the blonde, sharingan activated. "Besides, what the fuck does it matter?"

"Chill with the swearwords, dude," Sakura said, folding her arms as she glared between the two. "Swearing ain't gonna get us nowhere."

"Why the fuck are you talking like that, Sakura?" Sasuke snarled. "Before I left Konoha you at least sounded somewhat classy."

"You wanna die, shithead?"

"Do you really want to test me, hypocritical bitch?"

Naruto held up both hands, stepping in between the pair. "Come on guys… there's no need to fight…"

"Dude, we are literally the last people living on this planet…" Sakura said, staring at him blankly. "We can do whatever we want."

"What about Team Seven unity?" he asked, slinging an arm around each of their shoulders. "Konoha solidarity?"

"Fuck no, I defected in case you forgot," Sasuke muttered snidely.

"But Kakashi-sensei didn't care about that… we don't care about that…" Naruto said, pulling them in for a hug. "You're one of us, now and forever, till death do us part."

"I suppose he wasn't a bad sensei…" Sasuke mumbled, glancing over at where the silvery mop of hair lay, half concealed by dirt and blood.

"And now he's dead because of that Kaguya and her little bitch," Sakura said, glaring intently at the ground, as if expecting Zetsu to pop up. He wasn't going to though. They'd ensured it, though the method they went about it had been less than satisfactory.

"The plant guy." Naruto folded his arms, deep in thought, a manic grin stretching at his lips. "I want to pulverise him again… rip him to pieces, stomp on the remains… feed them to the pigs…"

"Naruto!" Sakura hissed. "You can't do that to the pigs! That's animal cruelty."

"When did you two idiots become this bloodthirsty?" Sasuke asked, mildly intrigued if not slightly worried.

"They took Kakashi-sensei from us… they took Obito from us too – and don't lie. You were getting attached to him by the end," Naruto said, waving a finger in his face. "It's all plant guy's fault… if he hadn't messed around, things never would've gotten to this point…"

"What does it matter?" Sakura grumbled. "It's not like we can go back and change things…" she trailed off, eyes widening at the sight of that gleam in those crystal blue orbs. Her feet shuffled backwards, away from the grinning blonde demon. That look always spelled trouble. "Naruto, whatever you're planning, it's a no."

"She's right, dobe."

His smile widened.

"Naruto, no," Sakura said, folding her arms, glaring at the grinning maniac.

"Naruto yes," he mumbled, pouting at them. "Come on, at least hear me out! Pretty please?"

"About what?" Sasuke asked, edging towards him, ever so slightly intrigued. It wasn't like it mattered. They were the last ones alive, so it'd be pretty boring for things to stay the way they were. Naruto's ideas, no matter how insane, would liven things up… or so Sasuke assumed.

Sakura wasn't so sure on that front.

"Time travel!"

Sakura sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, already knowing no amount of arguing could convince their blonde friend otherwise. "I'm saying this now… we're all idiots."

"And you love us for it, Sakura." Naruto puffed his chest up, a vaguely Sasuke-like smirk appearing on his face. "Now… who's in?"

"Ugh, what the heck…" Sasuke muttered, raising his hand. "Let's go and fuck Zetsu and Kaguya ten times over… no one gets to kill my sensei aside from me."

"And you accuse us of being bloodthirsty," Sakura said, snorting quietly before she reached her decision. "Dammit. What the heck… let's just do it or die trying."

"Dying sounds less painful, if I'm completely honest," Sasuke grumbled.

"Sasuke! You aren't allowed to die!"

"Ugh. Whatever, dobe."

"Kurama's in too," Naruto said, pulling out a set of brushes and ink. "Now, gimmi some blood. I need it if I want to programme the seal."

"Let's just get this over with already."

Sakura regretted that decision immensely.

As did Sasuke.

"Naruto!" she hissed, pawing at her fluffy red locks of hair as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. It didn't matter her lovely jade green eyes were gone – replaced by onyx black orbs. No. The real problem was her hair. She didn't mind the colour all that much, pink was a variant of red, after all, but what got her was the style. Gone were her silky straight bangs, spiky untamed locks in place in all too familiar style. "Why the fuck did you give me Madara hair?"

"My hair is red, Naruto!" Sasuke hissed. His hair had retained the same duck butt style, but the colour was horrifying. He looked like a damned tomato – with those chubby cheeks of the childish body he and the rest had all been forced into. "This is not OK!"

Naruto chuckled, onyx orbs meeting their matching ones, his straight red hair falling around him like a curtain. His whisker marks were gone, his skin a matching shade of pale white – just like Sasuke's had been.

"This is unfair," Sakura grumbled. "Why the hell do we have the traits of your two clans but none of my own?"

Sasuke snorted, staring at her down his nose. "Clan superiority, obviously."

Sakura felt her eyebrow twitch. "I'll show you clan superiority in a minute…"