"Then, so, well- I went to see the girl, right? To apologize and all. Then she tries to kick me in the head...so yeah I kicked her again." Tatsuki exclaimed with a wave of her hand. I could not believe that Shinji convinced me to go today after yesterday's incident with the man that sat not too far in front of me. Whom of which is boring his eyes into the side of my skull as I eyed Tatsuki just to keep my attention off of him.

"Well...the judge believed you in this case, and thankfully you're not required to do any more than a month. Still be careful. Next time breathe and don't kick back, but simply dodge and perhaps pin if necessary." Kisuke explained with a light laugh and a nervous smile. Kisuke turned to me with that smile, "So, how about you, Ichigo? How are you dealing with your issues on the outside?" I stared at him blankly as if it was the dumbest question, he even asked me.

"Well I'm not dead yet, so I guess good." Though he wouldn't understand why the question is stupid, but one did...one. That one just snorted to my answer or his question. I am not quite sure. "There must be a reason why your dad wanted you to come here. Come on. Humor us." I gave a sigh and looked away from the man in slight irritation. My eyes caught blue ones and I could not help but stop on them. When I think of him at the moment, I think of how stupid it is that he thinks I am a hero, also...he kissed me. That train of thought came a long while after the fact. Gays and lesbians were norms now in days, so no one really thought of it at all. Everyone in these days have open minds compared to what I read back in the early 2000, and even more back in the 1900's, and then so forth. Anyway, when I think about that I can't help but think of how I felt.

It felt like warmth filled me filling that vast emptiness inside of me due to the lack of my soul. The softness I haven't felt in what seemed forever- I actually don't remember feeling that warm. I always feel...just empty and cold. So cold...compared to that kiss.

"So, there is something you'd like to share?" Coming back to the situation. My eyes were drifted off to the side, and I was brushing my lips gently with my fingertips. Turning my attention back to hat-n-clogs, "I got into a lot of fights when I was younger, so it was either this, or a therapist. This just has more personality. Personally, I don't like being alone in a room with a guy trying to poke inside my head and tell me what I'm feeling and how to resolve it. I already know what I am feeling, and there is no way to resolve it."

"My! So negative, Ichigo. Why do you think there is no way to resolve what you feel?" I smirked to this and looked at my knees. "Was it your mother?" I felt my smirk drop right away to his question posed softly. "The last image yesterday was of your mother...in a not so pleasant state. Did you lash out...because of that?" I thought of the scene...my mother...of my mother. She protected me from some hollows as a kid in the hospital. They ate too much, and I was alone. She killed them, but it was too late. I watched her turn, and as my father came into the room with others, he saw her like that, and saw me stab her right through the mask that had formed and her brow. The mask had broken off and her eyes were on me...dead.

I had let out a long and slow breath feeling the pain that already overwhelms me grow further. One of my greatest pains I push away not allowing myself to feel it, but when I do- I so wanted to end my existence. Finally composing my outside image. I looked up to Kisuke with a hardened expression. "I killed my mother." Grey eyes widened to the statement.

"So, anything else?" Silence went through the room besides, you know, the screaming next door of how horrible some people's lives are. "Why..." I looked to the snaggle-tooth girl, Hiyori I think her name is, and she looked all but confused and shocked. "Why did you kill your ma?" I felt my heart clench tightly to those words, and the words that came to my mind were automatic. They fell off my lips like vomit, "All hollows must die." She frowned to this.

"Your mom...became a hollow?" I didn't even want to acknowledge Tatsuki right now. I felt so uncomfortable baring myself even though it wasn't my complete self. It is so raw. Forget the salt and lemon juice. It is just pure sulfuric acid pouring onto the nitric that is already in the wound. There was a loud irritated growl, "Hey, who gives a shit? I don't. And I really don't wanna fuckin' talk about death for forty minutes." My eyes shot up to those blue ones that conveyed that he was annoyed, but when they fell on me...for a moment they softened.

"Shit man, talk about being insensitive." Renji lectured followed by Tatsuki. Ikkaku made a comment of being inappropriate. Soi-Fon just scowled, crossed her arms, and shook her head in disapproval. Hiyori was hissing at Kisuke for something, but I couldn't make it out. All I was able to do as of the moment is watch Grimmjow leaned away from Tatsuki with a scowl marring his lips, and his eyes were closed. Grimmjow...I felt something that I have not felt in a while: nervous, but excited? It was butterflies inside of me. It made my breathing quicken, and my palms begin to sweat.

"Alright everyone calm down, calm down. Grimmjow that was rude. Please, apologize to Ichigo." With a huff Grimmjow looked at me. His eyes so deep and blue. Truly...his eyes are amazing. I saw those diamond pupils constrict greatly before relaxing. It looked like his pupils was nearly taking up his entire iris. My body moved on its own as I turned to Kisuke once more, "You should be the one apologizing for bring it up, Kisuke." Kisuke blinked a few times stupidly to me before he spoke slowly in shock, "I-I'm sorry...Ichigo."

"Forgiven, so who was next?" Soi-Fon took the reins beginning to talk about her in laws and how they judged her cousin of whom she worships like a goddess, because who she is obsessed over is a female. If we ask any more about said female, she'll start snapping accusations like nobody's business that makes no sense- she'll get violent too I guess but wouldn't know. The rest of the time in there I was just studying the espada. I knew quite a few espada. None had shown a moment of kindness such as Grimmjow did. Or maybe they did, and I did not catch it. It was rather subtle on the kindness side. Near the end of the session Grimmjow noticed my gaze- he had been arguing with Ikkaku after laughing his ass off for some taunts he had gotten. That finally died though. Those eyes were like blue waves...I could just watch them all day. I felt somewhat...I don't know, relaxed? It felt so new and almost welcoming.

"Whoa, Ichigo? Ah, I know this class is not your cup of tea, but I did not believe it was that dull." Arms went around me and pushed me up into a sitting position. I had passed out there for a moment. I had been so relaxed and soothed by those wildly intense blue eyes.

"Sorry." Kisuke sighed lightly, "It's alright. Dismissed. I'll see you all tomorrow. Tomorrow is a special day and that is all I will say for tomorrow's events." I stood up and shook off the sleepiness. "Have a good day everyone." I shoved my hands deep into my dark jean pockets as I left the room in silence. I felt the presence behind me but ignored it fully even when it came to my side. I was still reveling in what I felt with him near me, and then when he kissed me...

"You know you don't even fuckin' waver when staring at someone so blatantly?" It sounded as if it were a rhetorical question, so I didn't respond. We jogged down the steps of this building skipping the elevator this time. I like stairs. I know I can't get stuck on them...there's always a way off of a staircase. Though I stopped almost making Grimmjow trip, but luckily, he's of the feline gene.

"Grimmjow...thank you. Though I don't think of myself as you do...thanks." Grimmjow put his own hands in his pockets like I had been and shrugged for a response. I was fine with that gesture- completely. It wasn't like espadas to admit to doing something considerate. Let me rephrase that: do something considerate for a human. Jogging down the staircase once more. A thought came into my mind, "What is your power?" Asked with interest. I'm summing up the warmth I felt to his ability- whatever that may be.

"Why?" There were five more flights of stairs left to go down, and they are in a series of 82 steps each. I'd imagine for anyone who isn't used to stairs would hate going up with a passion. "Curious." Grimmjow gave a light hum to the response. "Kay, if I answer I get to ask you three questions about UAF today." Stopping on the third flight, I turned to Grimmjow with thumbs hooked on my jeans; I thought about the give and take offer- oh fuck it.

"Alright." Silence took over the stairway. Grimmjow lifted his hand between us and a bright blue energy curled around his fingertips. Fingertips that were now longer, and nails that were long claws. I had seen that kind of ability before. It cuts and burns and is very pliable to the user. Grimmjow was violent in every aspect of the word. So, me feeling relaxed around him- wait maybe that was it.

"Hmph, makes sense..." The bright entrancing blue faded, and his hand went back to a more human shape as he dropped it to his side. Pulling my attention away from the tanned hand to the owner of it. Low blue eyes studied me hard. I would say it was unnerving, but it didn't bug me really. Nothing really bugs me except that one look that I am tired of talking about and thinking about. "What makes sense?"

"Why I feel relaxed around you. I'm used to violence. Peace is what makes me feel on edge." Said matter-of-factly with a shrug to go with it. I continued me descent downstairs with my feline follower nearly right on my heels. "That's one hell of a way of trying to compliment someone." Grimmjow grunted out as our feet pattered against steps rapidly. I enjoyed going downstairs quite a bit to see how fast I can go down without actually running.

"I wasn't trying to compliment you. I'm just simply stating a fact." We got to the bottom floor and went out the front door. A few people near the door gave the two of us an odd look from coming out where we did- no one uses stairs here I guess, or something. Grimmjow quietly followed me out the door and looked around the bustling streets with almost a hateful look. It almost amused me to his disdain of people in general. I look at people with a general boredom and a slight annoyance. They take the look I give them as "deadpan", but whatever makes them feel better, I guess.

I trekked along the sidewalk watching others go by as I went towards not my apartment this time, but a nearby park. I could feel Grimmjow's heat besides me. His arm kept lightly brushing my own each time he avoided bumping into someone else. He'd give a light growl every now and again followed by a light sigh. I found it oddly amusing how he seems to treat others around him like a plague. I guess we have a few things in common...

"So, are you going to ask me anything?" Questioned the blunet as he relaxed when we entered the park that did not have as many people. The park has different levels. This park has six levels to it; stairs lead to each. The top has the least people since it's so high up. It was essentially a see-through building without roofs made into a park. So, it just looks like a colorful floating forest. We climbed the vine covered stairs going up a few levels in silence. I guess he really is thinking carefully on his questions for today.

"You said you grew up in UAM, medical, so how long did you serve as a UAF?" I held a slight fidget as I wanted to rub the back of my neck to the asked question. It was not something that I gloat about since I get a lot of surprised looks and a flood of questions to follow. Like how I am alive and or sane. Internally I gave a sigh. Damn, why did I have to say I would answer three questions?

"I went in UAF when I turned fifteen and served till it ended." Grimmjow halted immediately on the stairs. We were thankfully out of ear range from everyone and we are almost on the sixth floor. I almost nervously peaked over my shoulder and into bright blue eyes that conveyed the shock that he must have felt. "Five years?" Rhetorical.

"What can I say? I'm stubborn. I had a one-track mind. I don't know." Shrugging and continuing upward with Grimmjow nearly burning my feet as he caught up to me and stayed there. "I-"

"Remember I'm only answering two more questions." Said effectively cutting him off. Grimmjow studied me momentarily as we now slowly went through thick brush that showed bright flowers of all kinds. I liked this place. It was everything that I wasn't. To my surprise Grimmjow stayed quiet. I now looked, studied, and wondered about him. Grimmjow didn't even look at me as his brows furrowed further and scowl increased. For a few long minutes he was like that. Just what in the hell is he thinking about?

Finally, his features relaxed, and he met my gaze again. "Just how much of your soul is left since the war?" We stopped in front of one of my favorite flowers. It is a calla lily. It supposed to mean pure. My sisters name means pure; Karin. I crouched down in front of it and started to caress the delicate petal with one of my gentlest of touches. "You said that medical and healers already think your dead when feeling you. How much is left of your soul?"

"...I can only feel a slight warmth in my chest every now and again...other than that it's empty." Muttered almost uncomfortable talking about it. I do not talk about it often. I keep it all bottled up because the ones I'd like to talk to about it does not want to hear about it. My dad knows my struggle to a certain degree and only looks at me with fear and sadness. Fear that I'll end myself and sadness knowing he cannot do anything to help.

"Do not refer to yourself as an it, dumbass." Grimmjow hissed with absolutely no heat in his tone whatsoever. "I think...I understand how hollows felt. Hollows were like they were because they had no soul at all. I think they felt warmth when they ate other human souls. The warmth would be addicting...because when you always feel nothing but cold and emptiness and feel anything other than that...you would fight to have it no matter what. But like feelings; warmth is fleeting, so they would have to get it again and again." Mentioning this made my mind drift to the fleeting kiss that Grimmjow placed upon my lips. I want...to do that again to see if it is that, that made that feeling arise. Yeah, he'd look at me as a freak if I suddenly did that.

"You feel like a hollow." It was more of a statement than anything else coming off of his lips. "I suppose essentially I do." Said with a sigh as I stood straight up once more and hooked my thumbs on my jeans. "You show emotion just fine." Grimmjow said in a tone that made me snort.

"I know. It's weird. I can tell that I'm annoyed with something, or angry, or that I care, or love and so forth, but I can't actually...feel it. I can't feel my anger. My love for family. I can't feel the affection I have to that lily, but I can tell I have it. I would sum it up to an outer body experience."

"So, what gets you to actually feel?" I quirked up a brow and eyed the blunet, "You've already asked three questions." He pointed at me. "Not about UAF. I only asked two. The others are unrelated, and you did not make any rules." Huffing to his snap remark; I shook my head and gave a sigh. Finally turning to the espada that nearly demanded attention with his blue hair, eyes, and explosive personality. I felt my nerves jitter as I formed the words to answer his question in my mind. It was so new to feel, but again not.

"Honestly, I haven't felt anything really in six or so years. It mostly blurred together, but I felt-" I rubbed my chest a bit where my heart thrummed at a bit faster pace than normal. I had paused in words for just a moment to the thought of the kiss. "But I'm not sure." Grumbled as his face twisted with the confusion that seemingly clouded me. My hand drifted from my chest as my gaze dropped to the side in remembrance. I was brushing my lips with my fingertips once more. I didn't notice the light of realization dawn in Grimmjow. "I… don't know-" Grabbing a familiar wrist doing a familiar action. I was nose to nose with the espada- those lips in question hovering over my own. I felt a wave, a tremble, rush down my spine. What...is this? What is this feeling? What is happening? I didn't even notice the hard glare I had on Grimmjow- naturally.

"I'm going to kiss you, bite you, press into you, and touch you Ichigo." He's what? I was showing a look that said no way in hell but was feeling something, I couldn't explain. Was that apprehension? His words sent another one of those trembles through me. I felt my breath hitch on its own when those same lips from yesterday tilted down and pressed against my own.

There it is...so it was...how come? My grip tightened on the hand that was near my face. I wasn't focused on that though. My attention was solely on that warmth that went through my shell. It made everything feel dull yet heightened. My breathing had become irregular along with my heartbeat. My body felt like it was trembling being overcome with feeling that is coursing through me overwhelming my system, my mind- my body. I stumbled back away from Grimmjow overcome with all that I feel, a tree held me up, but Grimmjow was right there. The lips that I had fallen away from were back. Incredibly warm hands slid up my neck cupping my jaw. A warm slick tongue danced with my own as I found myself returning the kiss. I found more than that. My hands were deep in blue tresses pulling to me.

It feels so good.

I groaned deeply as Grimmjow's hard body pressed against my own rolling making me very aware of my excited state. I was unconsciously glad that the feeling is mutual. It all feels amazing. I felt like I couldn't breathe and that I am completely consumed. Those hands- arms were wrapped around me under my shirt with fingers dancing along my backside. It made the fluttering in my stomach escalate. I felt a loss when his lips left my own, but it was replaced with heat when they pressed against my neck followed by teeth.

"Ah nhn...shit." Moaned to those lips and hips then his fingertips. I couldn't breathe correctly at all. I didn't know how to breathe in or out. It was all ragged and uneven. My back arched sharply to the hand that slid into my jeans and grabbed my throbbing erection. "Grimm-nh ahh." I was drowning...drowning in emotion with warmth flooding in my chest. I felt my hips rock with Grimmjow's strong slightly callused hand. I felt my body moving on its own seeking out more. Grimmjow seemed to growl lowly when my fingers were now sliding along washboard abs that felt absolutely divine.

"Feels...good..." Moaned out lowly bucking into the hand that gripped tighter. A low hum, almost a purr, came out of Grimmjow in response. "Ah fuck-ahh." His nail dug into the tip of my length and drug down sending scattered shocks through me. I want more of that- of this. Grimmjow hissed as I drug my nails down his spine. A dark purr seemed to tear from his throat as bright blue eyes were mere inches from my own. Lips, so hot, were on mine once more.

"This is a park!" A shrill shot through my drugged like state making my head loll to the side to the mortified woman who was hiding a child behind her who clearly is giggling. I actually felt the equally mortified embarrassment as I would have years ago. I had Grimmjow away from me and was running my hand through my hair. "S-Sorry." Stuttered as Grimmjow huffed out a breath of annoyance.

"Well who fuckin' told you to watch lady? Fuck off!" He hissed at her, "Grimmjow." Bit out unable to keep the heat down when those cat eyes landed on me. I felt like my head was encased in fire. I couldn't look at his lips without thinking of his hand sliding along me. I covered my mouth to keep an unintentional groan down and adverted my gaze away. I only heard his light chuckle.

"Well I never!" The lady hissed insulted as she marched away with the child peering at us as he was being tugged away. I pushed myself further against the tree I was at when those lips came back into view. "What is your last question?" Quickly stammered out unable to focus on anything other than the heat going through me.

"...Do you remember how many hollows you killed?" I was staring at his shoulder when the question was posed. The images floating through my mind was helping turning my body back to the cold case that it is- that I am used to in a sense. "I don't know the number, but I remember all of their faces. Thousands..." I saw the hand, but...I didn't stop it this time. Grimmjow's warm hand curled around my chin and pulled up making me look at the eyes that were fifty-fifty now.

"..." Why is he being so quiet? "Damn...I can see it turning..." Does he mean me feeling relatively normal again compared to the overwhelmed mess I was before? "I'm used to emptiness. I wonder if some people feel like before all the time. I don't know how anyone would handle that, much less think..." Ah, yes, normalcy. The bluntness is back though I still felt my stomach doing flops. There is nothing I can do about that though. I moved out from the tight position I was in and headed out of the park.

"Hey, just to let you know I am gonna do that again. Next time no one will be able to stop us." The tingle went through me as I met gazes with Grimmjow who stood over by the tree. I guess he caught on I didn't want him following me this time. He looked so serious. Shaking it off and left the area. I found myself nearly running down the steps of the park and then the sidewalk. Shinji looked up to me when I burst through the front door and had it shut right away.

"Problems again?" He asked with a quirked brow. I stood there at the door and rubbed my chest. It was odd. I still felt some in there...some warmth.

"I don't know..."

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. Life happens. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed, and if I'm not mistaken this is where I last updated the previous time I posted... there's a lot more after this, so stay tuned.

Thank you for the reviews: skyglazingMaro, A WholeFleetOfShips, Guest, and Roseradeno