Peridot Tells The Story of Everything

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Prologue

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Beach City Lighthouse Park - Summertime 2019 AD

"Just a few more tweaks… errr this thing won't go. Where. I. Need. It. To. Arrgahhhh! Wait! Wait… almost… ah ha!"

Letting out a cheerful huff, Peridot scoots herself from underneath what appears to be a vehicle of some sort. She had been tinkering with the gears and wires and felt that her work was complete.

Wiping her brow, she turns to you, the reader.

"Hello! Ah, you're right on time! Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG, but just Peridot will do. No need for formalities here: we're going to be together for a while, so it's best that we get comfortable and casual with each other."

Peridot rests herself against the vehicle.

"It's been a few years since I allied myself with the Crystal Gems and called the Earth my home, and I have to say I've grown quite attached to it. Thanks to Steven and his friends, my knowledge of this planet have risen, and with Connie's suggesting that I try out the library, that understanding has only increased exponentially! That leaves me in a good position of authority on all Earth matters, if I do say so myself! Nehehehehe!"

"That's why I built this!" Peridot exclaims, motioning her arms towards the strange vehicle. The base design looks like her old escape pod, with the walking limbs splayed underneath. The holoscreen was not deployed, giving you a good view of the opening, which was now full of multicolored string-lights and a small chest.

"Feast your eyes on my… wait, drum roll please!" Peridot motions her hands likewise, "... my time machine! Yes, please, bask in its glory." She gives a small curtsey. "Thank you, thank you."

Peridot readjusts herself. "We are about to embark on a fantastic adventure! Traveling around the world at the speed of light, encountering places and peoples lost in time, and seeing your species' greatest accomplishments in real time! I, Peridot, will be your guide as I tell you the whole story of life, the universe, and everything!"

At that moment, Lapis Lazuli flies down next to her friend, looking at her and her vehicle with feigned curiosity. "Peridot, what are you up to?"

"I'm about to lead this human on a complete history of the world, with the help of my time machine that I just finished building!" Peridot replied, grinning widely.

Lapis clicked her tongue, "Peridot, people don't read fanfictions to learn, they want to see characters like us fulfilling their kinky desires."

"What?"

"What?"

"Oh come on Lapis! This will be more than just a 'learning experience' (at this Peridot makes quotes with her fingers), there's action, drama, romance, political infighting-"

You already begin to lose interest and start walking away. Seeing this, Peridot runs over and grabs your hand gently. "WAIT! Wait! Don't go, please! I promise, you don't know what you're missing! History doesn't have to be boring and educational, there's real magic here! Just… just give it a chance, please?"

You look into Peridots whimpering, puppy-dog eyes, and decide to stay.

"Yay! You won't regret it! I promise!" Peridot leads you inside the time machine, taking her place at the control panel.

"Last call to board! What do you say Lapis?" Peridot smiles at her friend.

"I'll pass. From what Steven's told me, history has wars and battles, and I don't feel like experiencing more violence. I'm sure you understand." Lapis explains, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Say no more! You'll hold down the fort for me?"

"Sure. Can I watch past where we left off on Camp Pining Hearts?"

"NO!"

"Peridot, we've rewatched this show hundreds of times! You already know what happens!"

"Err… fine. But we're starting right back there when I return."

"Deal."

Peridot activates the time machine: everything dims as the bead-like lights begin to twinkle as the holoscreen seals you both inside. "There are snacks and other supplies in that chest in case you need them, but we should be good for now!"

Peridot sets the timer for '13.8 billion years ago'.

"First stop… the beginning of the cosmos! Hang on tight!" Peridot presses a bright pink button on the holoscreen, and the time machine begins to hover upwards, its limbs receding inside. Lapis gives a thumbs up to Peridot who returns the gesture. Within seconds, the machine vanishes from view in a brilliant flash of color.

And so the adventure begins!

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To Be Continued!