MOD Harry and minion Hermione

AU: Ok so while I'm team Naruto all the way I feel like the whole Let's make the life of this adorably lovable child better than it is in cannon by sending a character from another world to befriend/care for them genre is good and all but Naruto is not the only one who'd benefit from and make a good story out of it. There's Gaara of course, Haku, probably any of the other jinchuriki too, maybe Neiji or Hinata, Sai, Itachi, and even Kakashi. Heck, Orochimaru could make an interesting twist! Can you even imagine? A good guy Orochimaru….strange. But different. Those 3 orphans Jiraiya trained who later became 'evil' when one of them died... Anyways! This is an idea that came to me that I had to write out immediately. (Harry sends Hermione to one of the parallel dimensions of Naruto to intercept Gaara's life early in order to create more parallel dimensions to see where it leads) But another part of why I wrote this is cuz I've yet to read a fic with a OP Master of Death Harry that manages to make any of his friends his minions just so he's not alone without them forever. Or at least can prolong when he ends up having to be without them. That and any time I see jokes or references about Hermione being Harry's minion makes me cackle and vaguely think of Shego from Kim Possible. Hence the title.

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"Wh-what the?" Hermione Granger spluttered as she looked around the cozy office her number one best friend was lounging in behind a large paper covered desk. This wasn't making sense. Her mind quickly gathered facts as she knew them: 1. Harry doesn't look a day over thirty. 2. She was sure she had been dying laying on her bed as her coughs hurt damn near everything when the numbing potions wore of. 3. Her grandchildren weren't in this room even though she last saw them right next to her. 4. This was not the room she was previously in...clearly. 5. Harry should not look this young but he'd never mentioned spawning a son let alone having a grandson. 6. She has no idea where she is.

"Hello Hermione love, how does your transition feel?" Harry inquired gently as he stood from his plush back supporting swivel chair.

"I- are you really Harry? My Harry?", she stuttered.

"Oof. Wonder how Ron would take that if he heard you?", he responded teasingly as he made his way to her.

Hermione huffed, "Really Harry! I dare say he'd say the same in my spot. Where are we and why do you look so...young?"

"We're in my office, located in a nice little spiritual plain I found would be an ideal place to speak to those who've left their mortal vessel. Which is why you're here love. I marked certain souls I'm vested in so that I could speak to them personally...once I got the hang of how anyways", he finished with a sheepish shrug.

"Ok putting that on the back burner for a minute, I'm actually dead? Like I thought I was? How are we speaking since I'm sure I would've passed on with no unfinished business and such! Does it have to do with that Master of Death title you gained that we all thought was pretty much arbitrary?" Hermione demanded.

Chuckling, Harry gestured Hermione to a seat that she sank into happily after a brief pause of hesitation. "Yes love, you're dead now. From a combination of old age and persistent bacteria from what I read. You're not a ghost, this is the pure manifestation of your being or soul rather that is still retaining the features of your previous vessel. And it very much has to do with that title I once hoped was just bullocks. Turns out it wasn't", he sighed.

"So...what? You rule over death then? Do you decide who dies when too? Are you actually dead too and we just never knew?", she inquired feeling intensely curious. More curious than she's felt in...ages really. Harry really did tend to draw in the most intriguing of puzzles.

"Mmmm, it's more like I'm now a physical or literal representation of death than actual Death since death has no form despite being a presence that all knows and experiences at some point. It's complicated but it's sentient yet not. I acquired a lot of knowledge and abilities that took awhile to work out and understand. Almost similar to having someone else's memories...so yeah. There was a whole lot more to it than we thought", Harry shrugged carelessly as Hermione nodded her head along with wide eyes.

"When did you find out that there...was-uhm substance to that title?"

"Around the time I was in my 30s…"

"B-but that was so long ago!", she gasped before whispering, "You never said a thing...not once", her voice picked up volume so she nearly screamed at him, "All that time and you never once said a word?! We thought we did something at first, Ron and I! That we made you uncomfortable as a third wheel or because you had a hard time finding someone! That it was something we'd done without realizing- it's why I was so insistent on keeping correspondence with you so frequently!", pausing to catch her breath she croaked out, "I didn't want us to drift apart so badly that we became strangers or couldn't figure out how to talk...I know I'd always told you that you were the best possible friend anyone could have but...you were also my first real friend. And I refused to lose that", she nearly sobbed.

Harry listened patiently eyes focused on her face until she finished.

"Mione-love, just cuz I didn't tell you about my-well- sudden god-hood, doesn't mean you lost my friendship. Honestly we talked nearly everyday by Floo, owl, mirror, phone, and even smoke signal a time or two!", Hermione gave a watery laugh, "I just didn't know how to tell you and figured I shouldn't in the end until the time you died which happens to be now. And for the last time I left because I wanted to travel and to get away from those crazed fans and arse kissers. It was only cuz of you two and Teddy that I stayed as long as I did, alright? Stop feeling so insecure about our bond", Harry lectured, she gave a nod and a smile before opening her arms, "Is it possible to give you a hug even though I'm currently intangible?"

"Eh, I'll allow it", Harry smirked. And no sooner had the words left his lips was he accosted by his best friend who seemed to be trying to squeeze the very air from his lungs...enthusiastically. Soon enough she retreated looking far more content with the way of things than when she first arrived.

"Alright then. Before I bombard you with all the questions I know you know I have and then some...why was it exactly that you monitored me so that we could speak here? Did you just want to say a last farewell?", she peered at him from her chair, the thought never once crossing her mind that Harry would irresponsibly send her back to her old and dead body to continue living but it did cross her mind that he might want to let her choose her type of afterlife. Unless reincarnation was a thing? Oh! The possibilities!

Clearing his throat a bit he divulged, "Actually I wanted to offer you the same deal I gave Ron a few years back when he died", Hermione gapped but Harry held up a hand to quiet her, "Yes Mione, I spoke to him when he died just as I am doing with you and the deal is that you basically become my minion".

"Minion?" Hermione parroted.

"Yeah, you listen to what I say, carry out tasks for me, follow my orders that sort of thing", Harry intoned with a negligent wave of his hand.

Hermione scoffed, "That's not a whole lot different from what we had going on before", she chuckled.

Harry smiled cheekily, "Yeah well it's different this way because of the perks and penalties involved".

"I'm listening", she smiled back.

"Well for starters I will give you a task and if you accept but later try to go against me you will experience a punishment that fits the crime so to speak. Like if I tell you to help the souls of children find their way to the afterlife and you instead attempt to make them re-enter their vessel in an attempt to save them you will face a punishment to witness the results of that foolish action. And it's not pretty", he informed.

Hermione swallowed thickly but nodded in understanding.

"Otherwise you get perks like being able to watch or study whatever in your free time. You'll have a type of immortality by staying my minion and we'll be able to spend time together this way as well. There's other things but we can go over it in detail later. Right now I'm working on a project to create more multidimensions across the universes to the ones that already exist by introducing a new factor into one of them in the hopes that it'll cause more good than harm, especially for certain people like abused or neglected children", he nodded in acknowledgement as a knowing look slid on her face before continuing, "What I would assign to you is the task of helping this particular child in a world similar but not, to our own earth. In the main dimension his father risked the lives of both his wife and youngest yet to be born child by attempting to seal a dangerous being they regard as demons into said infant. He was successful at the cost of the mother's life but soon after while the child was still a toddler he began attempting to have his own son killed because the seal he had made on the child to hold the being was faulty", he finished with a serious yet vaguely disgusted look on his face. Hermione looked indignant at the actions of this man she didn't know.

"You wish to implant me in this world so that I can attempt to improve things but specifically the life of that particular child which would mean protecting or perhaps raising him yes?", she asked stiffly and Harry nodded, "Well, how often does he die young due to his", she sneered in distaste, "father?"

"In the other dimensions branched from the main one? Well he lived in the main world although it's about fifty-fifty but the age varies...his father made a lot of attempts to kill him". "Will I retain my own memories?"

"Of course! You'll also have time to learn up on the world and learn some new tricks before I send you. You'll have access to your memories and skill level there once you train your body to handle it and you can use their abilities in conjunction with your magic since what they have is a different type of magic from ours. We'll have to work out when and how you're born, you can even pick certain features you'd like to have since things that'd be a bit unnatural on our planet would be normal there...like purple, green, silver, blue, or pink hair and more are natural colors a person can be born with. Or colored birth marks. Or white eyes", he added. Hermione nodded in contemplation thinking of what coloring she might like before stating, "Well then I accept. Let's get started shall we?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~AN UNDISCLOSED AMOUNT OF TIME LATER~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Feeling confident?"

"Yup."

"You're satisfied with the information you have?"

"You betcha."

"Any final questions before you're sent into an empty vessel in a womb?"

"Two, no, three actually", Hermione murmured.

"Shoot."

"Did Ron accept your deal, I forgot to ask and kind of assumed he did? Can you really not make whoever my new parents are pick a name I'd prefer? And what happens...what happens if I'm unable to save him?" She finished in a whisper.

"He did but wanted to see his family that was still in the afterlife first. He actually accepted a job to help a demon child named Hiei to see what good it'd do about a year or so before you died. No, I can't. The most I can do is have the suggested names occur to them but that doesn't mean they'll pick it, just accept it already. And have faith in yourself. If somehow you fail, we'll just have to have you try again. Took Ron more than two tries to figure out how to best maneuver the demon world and develop the ruthlessness needed to be a good role model to Hiei while still instilling a less skewed moral compass in him. He kept dying early on either in his own infancy or Hiei's before you ask", Harry sigh.

She responded with a cheeky grin.

"Right then. Off you go", he gave a jaunty wave. Hermione smiled and waved back, took a deep breath before climbing into the opening of the tube to slide down all the way to her destination...inside some woman's stomach. Because according to Harry it was more fun this way. How silly.

On her way down the slide, she would only grudgingly admit was kind of fun, Hermione thought of the plans and back up plans she'd made regarding her soon to be new life as a citizen of the Village Hidden in the Sand. She would help that child. Damn anybody there that would try to keep her from Gaara.

End.

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So what'cha think? I could see this going 1 of 3 ways. First she's reincarnated to be born about the same age as Gaara to become his best friend early on. Second she's born some point well before him so that she can establish herself as a respected high ranking member of the village by the time he's born so that she could legitimately butt in on or be part of the process of making Gaara into a weapon to establish herself as a trustworthy figure to him(one that doesn't betray him) in order to be his anchor to sanity or...Third! Get reincarnated as one of his elder siblings to establish a reliable familial bond with him so he knows for sure at least one of his family members love him. I may or may not write a sequel to this oneshot. Depends on what my mind comes up with.