Once again, Spoilers. If you haven't watch enter the Florpus, then proceed with caution. And seriously, go see it, it's honestly one of the funniest, if not, the funniest things I've seen all year, aside from how great of an ending it was, in my opinion at least. Really loved the Membrane family dynamic.
Anyways, this is my first Invader Zim fic, so enjoy, and hopefully I can make more in the future.
Weirdly enough, the town got back to it's usual weird state once Zim left. Too normal. Honestly, by this point, Dib should've learned to let it go. He understood Gaz's desire to just forget everything that just happened; it just wasn't in her nature to care this too much about anything beyond what went on in her own house. And as much as it irked him, he even understood his dad's constant denial of everything involving the florpus. If Zim didn't hit him on the head before taking him to Moo-ping 10, then he wouldn't have an excuse for actually witnessing aliens.
But come on!
Nobody, and he meant nobody, even bothered to bring up the fact that the ENTIRE PLANET was sucked into a black hole of hell through several colliding realities. He did everything he could to make them talk about it: protests, parading through the streets, post everything online like any sane person.
"People, come on! Why haven't you woken up yet!" The skies turned red! Planet upon planet filled the atmosphere as buldings and cities were reduced to rubble! The entire teleportation of the planet was even livestreamed from his own house! Zim didn't even have his disguise on half the time! What excuse did everyone have for ignoring everything!?
Weather Balloon. Over 90 percent of the answers were Weather Balloon.
"Yeah, weather balloons just get everywhere." The first person he asked said. "They fill the skys, tricking everyone they're UFOs or the Lockness Monster, but I know better than that."
"I once trusted a weather balloon." The last person he asked said. " It killed my family! I brought it home, let it play with my kids, sat down with it, and it just whisked my family away on its string! I'LL AVENGE YOU MY FAMILY! I'L AVENGE YOU!"
"Dumb weather balloons. They always find a way to mess up our work." Didn't look like anyone was going to be convinced anytime soon. Oh well, it wasn't like he was used to being alone. At least he had the comfort of knowing how much his dad loved him, even if he didn't know it real. There was just one thing left to do.
"What am I going to do about Zim?" It had been little over a week since Zim announced his 'success' of Phase 2. Dib right now was very confused on what to do. On the on hand, Zim had confirmed the Irkens were nowhere near Earth and as far as they knew, never had any intention of doing so.
But on the other hand, that meant Zim came so close to destroying/conquering( honestly, it was a bit confusing on what he wanted.) Earth for pretty much nothing. He was pretty much willing to die if it meant he 'won' in the end. He didn't know if that made the invader more cunning or more stupid( Gaz seemed pretty convinced of the latter).
But whether or not Zim was a brilliant tactician or the universe's most dangerous idiot, one thing was clear: he couldn't be left unchecked. So, going in with his paranormal briefcase in hand, he marched onward to Zim's base. It was still exactly where it always was, sticking like a sore thumb that never healed properly with it's tacky colors and tasteless lawn ordainments. Unlike usual, the lawn gnomes didn't bother to shoot lasers or tear out his other kidney, which was exactly what happened last time.
So either Zim was laying down a trap or he was depressed again and just didn't bother. With hopes for the latter, he opened the door to a thankfully less filthy and smelly house.
"HEY-LLO MARY!" The small silver servant known as Gir charged in without his puppy dog disguise. Dib never knew how to feel about the evil robot slave. He always did whatever Zim told him to do most of the time, but it was hard to ever call him a threat when he ran around screaming like a maniac, though he supposed that help the 'genius or moron' argument. "YOU GOT THEM PANCAKES I ORDERED!"
"Eh, no. Do you know if Zim's trying to take over the world right now?"
"NOOOOPE! He's just been sitten there on me couch for days! Gir squeed with delight as Zim just sat there with a dumb wide smile plastered on his face. "He's been sitting there, and I haven't been sitting there. WHY MUST LIFE BE SOO CRUEL?!" He cried before going to the kitchen. "I'm going to make me a hot dog, with EX-TRA ice cream and pig."
Ignoring Gir's usual insanity, Dib made his way to the couch where Zim sat. "Ah, yes, welcome pitiful Worm-Pig baby, welcome to your utter defeat!" Zim laughed hysterically, and Dib remained unimpressed. Sometimes, he wondered if he actually was crazy if he believed this green cockroach was ever a threat.
"Zim, you just stole a figurine. I hardly call that defeat."
"What? What are you talking about?" Zim asked. "Whatever it is, it's dumb and I don't care, for you see, I have truly won!" Opening up his PAK, Zim threw down some sort of greyish blob. "Doesn't it amaze you? Doesn't it just make your meat body turn to meat jelly?"
"Unless it's another sentient space phasing horror blob, not really." It didn't look alive at least."
"Then you are more STUPID than even I've anticipated! This isn't some mere horror goo, it's the Vortian horror goo of valor, given to me to recognize my heroic status!"
"Heroic?" Out of everything the Irken has ever said, that was by far the most insane. "You've tried to destroy Earth on multiple occasions! Your entire species conquers planets and enslaves them!"
"You mean, they USED to enslave them!" Zim said with a weird amount of pride. "For some odd reason, all planets under Irken rule have been freed, and the universe has granted me the honor as it's savoir!"
"No, no! That's impossible! You're too evil to do something like that!"
"I know, I thought so too at first, but then..."
Far ends of space, three days ago..
A whole stadium of alien species filled the audience. It once use to be one of the most important areas of the Irken empire, used to store and file the Irken control brains. Now gone, a place of despair and misery has turned into a place of hope and glory.
"Greeting fellow lifeforms of all kinds, even the few ugly ones in the back. Especially you!" A Mekrob in the middle of everything announced. "It has been a long, long, long, LONG, long time coming, but at last, the Irken Empire has finally fallen!" The crowd cheered. "Any hope for salvation was lost long ago, our hopes were drained and used to deep fry the doughnuts of oppression, and our dreams were crushed into sprinkles for their sundaes of sorrow. But, now the 'All Mighty Tallests' have been taken out! Their arrogance has finally become their downfall, and we all owe it to one being."
The middle of the stadium was giving spotlight as the smoke machines kicked it. "With cunning strategy, brilliant tactician, and a gigantic Florpus to hurl them away to the ends of nowhere, he has become the greatest hero the universe has ever known! Know that now and forever, every good thing we have for now on is all due to the actions of this one great, awesome being!" The green skinned figure appeared as a silver medal was about to be handed to him. "I don't think I'm alone in saying that this, without a doubt, it the most incredible Irken ever, Invader Zi…!"
"You shall not trick me floating shoe!" Zim accused as he blasted the medal.
"So you melted your own medal?"
"ITS BETTER THIS WAY!"
"And how was I able to see your flashback?" Dib shook his head. "You're okay with making your leaders enter the florpus?"
"Of course. The last time I called them, they were doing just fine."
"WE'RE TOTALLY NOT FINE!
"ALL MY DONUTS ARE GONE!
"WHY HASN'T THE FIRE STOPPED BURNING!? WHY IS THIS LIFE!?"
"How did I see that!?"
"See Dib! I told you the Florpus was all apart of my evil plan! Not only do I have your sad puppy dog thing.."
"I didn't even notice it was gone.."
"The whole universe has finally recognize my greatness! Everybody loves Zim! Everybody!"
"I'm pretty sure it was a forgotten father's day gift.."
"And know that I've won, you have no choice but to love me too! Worship me! WORSHIP!"
"No." Dib brain felt like it was going too shut down. "So let me get this straight? You accomplish nothing, you fail at every turn, and you get to be the hero?"
"Yep."
"And you're fine with just letting your leaders rot in space hell?"
"LIES! WHY WOULD YOU INSULT YOUR HERO WITH SUCH FILTHY LIES!?"
"Got it. So your just going to sit here?"
"Of course! Now that I've finally won, all there's left for me to do is wait for the tallest to call me back." Yeah, it didn't sound like they were going to do that anytime soon. "In the mean time, I got Floopsy blopps Shmoopsy." Zim sat down, sinking into the chair as his T.V screen filled up with bright colors and balloon creatures. "It's the special where Shmoopsy blopps Floopsy back."
This was it. Years of waiting, years of watching, anticipating, agonizing, speculating, defending, this is where it all lead to. There was only one logical thing to do now.
"Move over. I haven't seen this episode yet."