A/N: *EDIT*

The trolls strike again.

Look at the reviews. I left them up. SEE them.

Congratulations. You've finally broken an old man's heart.

*cries miserably*

Well.

Not My Tale got absolutely shredded.

So here. Have your serious iteration. I don't care anymore.

...would you believe I only just now discovered the insanity that is Undertale?

0_0

Real quick, this is PRIME!Naruto we're dealing with. As in Sage of Six Paths Naruto. The one who fought-and convinced!-Sasuke at the Valley of the End. Meaning not much can hurt him if he's careful. No resets for him. One death and he's dead. Naturally his "level" and "HP" are in the upper digits, making him a right force to be reckoned with. Of course, this isn't going to be entirely serious; that'd spoil the fun. But it won't be quite as zany as Not My Tale, given that the trolls tried to burn that one to the ground.

*Sigh*

As ever, this'll be gone in two days if folks don't like it.

I own no quotes, references or any such thing.

Well. Here goes nothing.

Quote is a joke.

"Hehehe, the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. Its always funny."

"You dare prank a prank master?! This means war!"

~?

Fall

Naruto woke in a field of flowers.

Consciousness came back to him in slow fits and spurts, like waking with his mind swaddled in cotton. Head aching, vision swimming in a searing sea of spiraling red, it was all he could do to breathe, much less think. For a terrifying moment he couldn't feel his arms or legs. Just pins and needles. The mere act of moving at all threatened to send him spinning back into the black, and he only fought on through sheer Determination. Sitting up already rendered him dizzy enough; trying to stand threatened to crack his skull wide open. But the blond was nothing if not stubborn, and thus, forced his way to his feet without so much as a second thought.

Mistake, that.

"Alright, where hell am I-BLEARGH!"

When he finally made it to his feet his stomach revolted with all the fury of a hurricane, sending what little remained of his last meal tumbling onto the flowers. Had someone yelped just now? No, surely that wasn't his imagination or anything. Flowers didn't talk. He hadn't thrown up on one. He certainly wasn't standing on one now either. No, certainly not! Not all! Not in the least! Said flower definitely wasn't plotting ways to get back at him for this, nope, surely not...

Stumbling away from the soiled field, he narrowly caught himself on a wall and violently disgorged the last of his lunch in a great choking gasp.

"Urgh," he groaned, dabbing at the corner of his mouth with a sleeve. "Did anybody get the number of that bus...?

"Nope." a familiar gravelly groan greeted the back of his mind. "I've got nothing. Now I feel worse!"

Almost made him smile, that did. "Well, at least I'm not suffering alone. You sound like shit."

"Brat."

"So...where are we?"

"What am I, a map?" came the lazy yawn. "Look around!"

His surroundings didn't offer much in the way of answers; until faint hint of dappled sunlight from above caught his eye. Baffled, the whiskered warrior looked up. Up. And up again. Oh. A pit. Looking closer, he glimpsed a scrap of orange fabric caught on an outcropping overhead. That offered a hint as to how he'd gotten down here, but not why. He hadn't been anywhere near a pit, last he remember. The Valley of the End didn't have a pit like this, or if it did, he certainly didn't remember seeing one during the fight.

No, he didn't recall falling at all.

His last memory was of fighting Sasuke.

That final clash as their last attacks collided in a blaze of light and then-

ErRoRsTaTiCwHaTdIdIdOcAnNoTrEmEmBeRyEsYoUcAnMuRdErErWhAtHaVeiDoNeWhAtHaVeIdOnEiHaVeToEnDiTeNdItEnDit...?!

A fresh spike of agony stabbed through Naruto's skull before he could remember, causing him to clutch at his face and cry out in pain. So much blood. So much pain. Why couldn't he think straight? When he tried to think back the pain only grew worse, a horrible, terrible miasma that clouded his every thought until he finally had to stop, because if he didn't stop it was going to HURT-

"Kid?!"

"I'm...fine." the words tasted like ashes in his mouth as he staggered upright.

It would've been the simplest thing to just walk right up the walls and leave the way he'd came. He could do so at any time. His chakra reserves were already full to bursting; he was all but bleeding excess energy like a broken sieve. He felt...good. No, better than good. He could even destroy this entrance and make sure no one fell down here again. Yes. That would've been the smart thing to do. A sane man would've done just that and lent no further thought to the matter. And yet.

And YET.

After all he'd said and done in his life, Naruto couldn't really be called sane anymore now, could he?

"Wonder where that door leads." He mused, thumbing his chin.

Kurama growled in his head. "Braaaaaaaaaat...!"

He was walking towards it almost before he'd even gotten the last word out. Footsteps echoed hollowly in the underground chamber, offering naught but strained silence and Kurama's occasional grumble.

"Oh, c'mon." grinning, he dusted himself off and stepped into the arch.

"What's the worst that could happen?"

Everything. And yet, nothing.

The creatures they encountered within were puny, almost harmless by comparison. A few kind words and the occasional pat on the head sent most of them scurrying away; those who continued to pick a fight were simply met in a battle of Killer Intent, one they swiftly lost and subsequently fled from. He never raised so much as a hand against them. Why should he? They weren't a threat. Not at all. Some of them were downright cute, if he was entirely honest. He spared them all. Naruto had not, nor would he ever be, the sort to mindlessly kill others without thinking of the consequences.

Kurama certainly wasn't above scaring some of the bolder ones, though.

Now, the puzzles and traps...those were another matter.

At first, the former amused the pair, if only because they were rather easy to figure out. Press this switch. Move that rock. Avoid that obstacle. They were a novelty, one that took only a few minutes to solve and kept their respective minds on the task at hand. Therein lie the problem. With each room those seemingly harmless little puzzles became more and more complicated. Each were solved easily enough-and with a bit of grumbling on the part of a certain fox-but they weren't the true obstacle at hand.

And then came the pitfalls.

The first came out of nowhere; one moment he was contentedly weaving his way through what he was beginning to refer to as the ruins, and the next, the floor just dropped away beneath him. Annoying and startling as that was, he'd climbed back to his starting position swiftly enough. Had that been the extent of his trials and tribulations he might've been willing to just brush it off and continue on. Alas, it was not to be. Every second step threatened to drop the ground out from under him; by the time he realized he had to follow a particular patter for this puzzle, he was at his wits ends.

Events became yet more baffling when one of the creatures actually dropped some sort of currency while fleeing from him.

Scarce had he reached down to grasp it then the world opened underneath his feet again.

"Another one?!" Naruto squawked! "Not again!"

"That's the twelfth one now!"

And so the journey continued.

Eventually he found himself before a house; by then he'd amassed a small fortune of sorts in discarded money. Alas, the same could not be said for his temper. Dirty and battered from countless unexpected falls, he was a hairsbreadth from doing something very foolish indeed before he finally cleared the final hurdle and reached said abode. All told, it t was a cozy little cottage of sorts, carved in strange stone. There was even a tree of sorts there in the yeard, though it looked blackened and dead. Not at all the sort he'd seen before.

"Think anyone's home?" he mused aloud as he glided toward the door.

"Only one way to find out." his partner prodded.

He had a point. "Here goes nothing."

Raising his right arm, he rapped the knuckles of said hand against what passed for the door. One. Two. Three. No response. Exasperated, he repeated the pattern, this time with perhaps a touch more force than was quite necessary. A tiny fracture etched itself across the door's stony facade. But no one came. By now a muscle was actively jumping in his jaw, pounding along a vein in his temple. So he tried once more. One last time. Seven. Eight. Nine. It was more an exercise in futility than anything else; he didn't really think anyone was going to answer-

To his surprise, he heard footsteps on the ninth.

"Sorry!" A muffled voice answered. "I'll be just a moment!"

Said surprise was only further magnified by the occupant who opened it.

"Yes, who is...it...?"

Naruto blinked.

Once.

Then thrice.

Nope. No dice.

It certainly wasn't a human that opened the door, and yet...one couldn't call them an animal, either.

Clad in a long purple robe with a strange rune of sorts stitched across her chest, she-for he could only assume this was a female judging by the slender shape of her body-resembled an anthropomorphic white goat with of sorts with droopy ears and short horns. Wide red eyes gazed back at him and he glimpsed a hint of fangs in her teeth as her mouth opened in a round "O" of surprise. She stared at him agog for a handful of seconds, just as surprised to see him as he was here. Neither moved. Neither breathed.

Then a paw-like hand flew to the woman's face and she took a small, hesitant step forward.

"Oh, my!" she cried. "You're a human, aren't you? How did you make it here on your own?! Are you alright? Are you hurt?!"

"No, I'm fine-Hey!" he yelped as she pressed a cloth to his cheek. "Really, I'm alright!"

"Nonsense!" her denouncement was instant. "Your face is covered in scratches!"

Kurama snickered. "She's got you there."

'Oh, BITE ME you little furball!'

Naruto was wholly and utterly at a loss for how to respond to this when she began to fuss over him as if he were a helpless child. He couldn't sense any ill intentions, much less killing intent of any sort; but still he found himself wholly at a loss for words in face of this sudden and abrupt reversal. Oddly enough, he had the strangest feeling that he should flee, that his presence here would ruin everything, put this kind stranger in danger or worse. Sheepishly, he scratched the back of his head. Nope. Just couldn't do it.

As such he said the very first thing that came to mind. "Yeah, I'm a little lost here...

Looking back, perhaps it was those words that would change everything.

For better or for worse, who could say? But change the world did.

The Underground would never be the same.

And he was responsible for it.

A/N: There we are. Hope you like it.

I'm waffling about including Frisk or Chara in this story.

I mean, I'd like to include them and all, buuuuuuuuut, well...its complicated.

So by all means, let me know your opinion in your reviews. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Frankly, if Naruto wanted, he could've just walked up the wall and left the way he came. But we know our boy's far too curious for his own good. He's not the sort to turn back unless that curiosity's satisfied. Now, do bear in mind, he's lost none of his power and packs quite the wallop. I'm fairly certain he'd outright punt Flowey for trying to manipulate him. Fortunately-or unfortunately, given your perspective-he didn't dare meddle in matters...yet.

All told, I'd say...five people could hurt Naruto in this story. We all know who they are, don't we?

No respawns for him, either. If he dies? BAM! Dead. Well, that about does it.

Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews keep me alive. And sane.

So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...Review, Would You Kindly?

And of course, enjoy the preview!

Yes, one of them is Papyrus.

(Preview!)

"Lady, I'm flattered, really, but I'm no child...

"Eh? A talking...flower?"

"YOU STEPPED ON ME YOU ROTTEN BASTARD!"

"Come back here, human!"

"Leave me alone you crazy skeleton!"

"What's all this talk about a barrier? I mean, I could try breaking it for you?"

Undyne looked fit to strange him. "Why you little...?!"

"Hey! You could put an eye out with that!"

"HOLD! STILL! BRAT!"

"Ha! Got you!"

*But It Had No Effect*

"Uh-oh. That...that usually works."

"Sans. I'm going to give you a nine-second head start."

"Before what...?"

He drew up a handful of snow. "Before you have a BAD time."

"Hey! That's my line!"

R&R! =D