"Hey, son, wake up, I want to show you something. Shh, we can't wake up doc."

I was nudged awake by Sheriff's fender and his hushed voice. I groaned low, not quite wanting to wake up until it set in that Sheriff wanted to show me something and not Doc. That means a secret, and secrets were still fun at the age of eleven.

So silently I followed Sheriff out of our quaint little motel room and into the hall. Doc's soft snoring masked the sound of the door clicking closed. We left the lobby out into the cold streets of the city, washed in icy moonlight. The shadows were sharp, the wind softly sighing and gasping, trash whisked about as if alive. It took only a few minutes before I was besides Sheriff, eyeing each street and alley warily and asked.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere you'll love. Trust me."

"Why can't we go during the day?"

"They don't do this stuff during the day."

"How come?"

"It's... I'll tell you later, we're almost there."

I looked around. The towers were tall and lanky, monsters leering with the hundreds of Windows for eyes. The pavement was cool to the touch, and I shivered, feeling something splatter on my side not facing Sheriff. I press closer to the cop, before getting annoyed at my imagination and standing tall.

Then the noise began to filter in. Music I'd not heard before, largely different from the country and swing of Radiator Springs Radios. It grew louder and I realised it was where we were headed, to the music, to the lights bouncing off stouter buildings that looked more run down, but not abandoned. The bass of loud engines revving and subwoofers tickled my body, and we passed through a sheltered alleyway.

Out the other way, I found myself surrounded by cars painted like me, but much more creatively, flashy racers that would make Ramone's jaw drop. All of them might as well have been monsters themselves, brightly lit, neon pixies of cars modified like no others I'd seen before. It was like a circus for speed children like me, the energy was like that of the city tenfold, and much more carefree.

Yet as soon as we arrived a swell of panic arrived, and cars began to clear a space, now I know waiting to see if this old cop was a racer in a guise or a real cop refusing to retire about to catch all their butts and put them in jail. Then I was simply confused.

It was not until Sheriff yelled out. "Relax, y'all. I'm retired, I could care less now, just treat my son right."

It was then I realised where we were, was somewhere illegal. Something about the idea of Sheriff, so strict on the laws in his town, was now bringing me, a child to a place of crime, though fun crime I'd come to learn, was baffling. Baffling and yet amazing. Even now, all I could think off was that Sheriff always simply favoured small towns more, and would be willing to do anything to keep me happy in new adventures, even if it meant lying and even being a hypocrite.

Perhaps you might think that teaches me to be a hypocrite, but I never intended to be one. Any cases of hypocrisy were unintentional.

It was years later that I wondered how Sheriff knew about such an event and when likely to arrive, even after years of living in Radiator Springs.

But Sheriff, perhaps thanks to his status causing mistrust and feelings on edge, easily got us to the side of the large street where, off in the distance, I could see a few cars lining up side by side on the black pavement splashed with colourful reflections from us vehicles.

This was just as if not crazier than the city during the day, but with the creative designs I loved and that would make Ramone drool, but with speed. I knew it was street racing, I wasn't stupid, I could piece it all together. It was just as crazy but it was my crazy, my crazy at Willy's Butte.

I would have missed the cars going off if not for the roar of their engines racing closer, no thanks to my excitement. I stayed next to Sheriff, but as the cars flew past, after flinching I was one of many who spilled into the street to watch them disappear. I simply dragged Sheriff with me.

Then Sheriff was the one leading me through the crowd, nearer where the racers had begun. "So you can see them finish, son. Don't fall behind sleepin now."

I laughed boisterously, following along as best as possible, weaving through cars with ease. "I couldn't sleep if I wanted to, and I don't want to anyways."

We lined up into a hemicircle around the start now end of the race. There we all sat, waiting apprehensively for the racers to return, to see the winner emerge from the pack, shoot into first. We talked and yelled and laughed, and waited.

As I leaned against Sheriff, off in the distance I noticed a soft blue car not of any model I recognised. Though, I only recognised the ten or so who lived in Radiator Springs. She looked happy and free, like everyone else but prettier, and maybe only a few years older than me. I held myself up, trying to watch as she merged into the crowd, out of sight, to look older myself.

Above me, Sheriff chuckled.

It wasn't long until I found some other cars nearer my age. Most of them were just as enamoured with speed as I. The difference was those older than me really looked and sounded the part. Some of them tried to tease me. I simply cooly let it be known that I knew a cop and could turn them in, especially since they let it on they themselves bet with what few money they get.

Truly I didn't want the event to end, but they didn't know that, most of them. One of them was more suspicious, approaching me with slivered eyes. I looked over his appearance instead of listening to whatever threats he was throwing, certain Sheriff would find me soon enough.

He was full of body parts of sharp angles, especially near the front with bumpers that splayed out towards the floor, all sterling grey except for some dull magenta highlights of matte colouring. I smirked.

"Are you trying to make up for the primer inspired paint job?"

Luckily that's when Sheriff showed up, for he absolutely went off, yelling at me and such, saying things like "I'll be glowing soon, and I'll have so much nos everyone will call me Boost! You have nothing!"

Never mind my paint job from Ramone from my birthday. Either way, as soon as he saw Sheriff with his lights on, and then heard the blip of his siren he froze, everyone around staring at him, pleading silently not to anger the cop giving the brief veil of protection for whatever reason. Seeing the scene, I quickly went from annoyed at the young teen to amused at his look of panic. The air was stiff, swollen with tension. Sheriff spoke low, that quiet anger he has.

"What did my son 'ver do to you, boy?"

Sheriff didn't wait for an answer, and instead nodded his hood and turned away. I understood and followed him.

As we veered away from the scene, I realised Doc was bringing us to the edge of the crowd that was already lively again.

"You ever do this stuff, never get caught up in them dirty ways of proving yourself. Ain't no one gonna stick around a poor sport."

I nodded, we were leaving the crowd now. I knew we were heading back to the motel. I widened my eyes with a soft gasp.

"You mean, you'd let me do this stuff."

"Ah, what I don't know won't hurt me so long as you stay safe."

I pondered over his words, wondering how old I'd have to be to start racing at these places. Suddenly the darkness of the night, the city, no longer scared me. I knew the joyous secrets the cover of night held. It was no longer a threat, it was a shield.

"So, so long as I don't crash."

"I ain't worried bout that, ain't no cacti ditch here, heh-he, just you gettin caught. You get caught n I can't help ya none."

"Oh... How come? Your a cop just like them."

"You'd be in their custody, not mine or Doc's."

"What's custody."

Sheriff hummed, he does it when he thinks out a description I'd understand. Then there is always the satisfied gasp.

"It means who you have to listen to, no buts, and can decide how to punish you when you do something wrong."

"When I mess up?"

"No, when you do something wrong."

I'd learned by then not to ask the difference between such like phrases, for he rarely explained. Now I understand being told you messed up is purely a blow to your moral and self worth, being told you did something wrong brings disappointment and recognition of values. What do we value morally as wrong or not.

Sheriff continued. "Now, between you and me, Cops punish people a lot worse than Doc."

"Much worse." I agreed with a chuckle. I'd already been told time and time again what cops can do by Sheriff. He would be willing to explain such but rarely have any actual stories.

The conversation ended, and we arrived at the motel. In no time at all I was fast asleep in our motel room after having promised to not tell Doc of our adventure, filled with dreams of racing among the colourful street cars just a few blocks away.

Doc woke up in the early hours of morning, sun not peeking out into the world yet. It took him moments to notice the absence of Sheriff and Lightning. Doc sighed, he wasn't stupid, and so he worried not, he figured there was only one place Sheriff would take Lightning at such a time, even if it stupid to do so. Sheriff may be elder to him, but unless he was doing his job, he wasn't the brightest out of the two of them.

After heavy contemplation and even deeper hesitance, he moves to look out the window of their motel room, to observe the city skyline. The building wasn't quite still awake, but not quite asleep either. Rather, if he looked, he could spot clusters of Halloween yellow lights glowing in the night. If he looked, he could spot the very corner of town that haunted him now from his view.

At some point in his years wallowing in Radiator Springs he had decided he would set out to find his own folks again. He had felt a creeping fear of rejection, that running away would cause his family to hate him, disown him, maybe even forget him like everyone else. The isolation he placed on himself in the tiny abandoned town helped none. The desperation for acceptance and love grew, the feeling of displacement.

So he set out to find home.

It was a split choice move, one out of emotion and the stupidity he'd still not shed somehow. He left late, got quite some distance, grew scared and turned back. Exhausted from his stress, he stopped in this very city for a break, two or three in the morning. He found his way into an old bar, smell of smoke permeating the air, the leather furnishings worn and tearing.

It was close enough to home.

There he met the lady. She clung onto him, he clung onto her in return. She cooed over him, it was enough appreciation. They drank, they spent the night together, exploring the city and telling their tales as the night grew shorter, died. And yet he still felt hollow. They avoided the street races, where she used to spend all her time, and instead viewed the wonders of the city in the dark. It made everything shifty, like none of it was quite real. She spoke solemnly yet hopeful, Doc let his sadness leak into his voice. No point hiding his past, she recognised him from the start.

The sun started to raise, casting sharp shadows, the first lies. That's when he started to come to, realise the cracks in this woman before him. They were broken, but she even worse. The clinginess was deeper rooted, more apparent in her motives, not as thought out.

When she began to paint a future of them as detailed as the textured clouds of sunrise, swearing she'd make them a child to raise as their own, that he's the first to truly acknowledge her in years, always that fact thrown at him, swearing they'd be together forever after their one night of tales, it settled in who he was with, that he was in far over his head.

He realised this was obsession, not appreciation, he realised how far she was gone. He realised the pounding was a hangover, making him queasy now paired with unease at her certainty of forever together after, and cursed himself for drinking in the first place, because maybe he wouldn't be stuck with this car staring at him too hopeful, coming too close for comfort with certainty, he would have not even left the bar with her.

When she leaned in for a kiss, he reversed with a squeal of his tires, ran away, back to Radiator Springs, back to his new home, for he knew he didn't have the strength to make it back out here into the city or past it. As he left he heard her wails, loud and shrill, clawing through the air.

Years she haunted him, he didn't want to become her, he wanted to stay afloat albeit broken. He had already lost so much, from cruel fate and running away blindly. He didn't want to lose his sanity as well.

He reached out to Sheriff, offered him a place in the winter, it wasn't much. It was a start.

Still, with all that stupidity, he felt he didn't deserve a family. Sheriff was only ever a friend. Yet here he is, staring out into the city, as it truly hits him for the first time.

Radiator Springs became his family unknowingly, unintentionally. He always lead, sheriff was a close friend, but letting Lightning in, that crossed the line. As soon as he let the town help in raising him, his defences evaporated. Suddenly he interacted with all of them, was forced to open up about his feelings when he looked particularly stressed after dealing with something stupid Lightning got into.

He was part of a family, though a quiet part still, but he was. Lightning had dragged them all together, all because he chose to raise the car. Not that he could have chosen otherwise.

It was his own stupidity, but also the start of his hearts healing that caused him to take in Lightning.

And here, looking up at the sky of his own blue in the dark, where he should have felt joy at the knowledge of being in a family, appreciated and loved, especially loved by lightning, he felt instead a void opening up, one of mourning.

For he truly was now forever with Radiator Springs, with Lightning. These cars were his family now.

Now he could never return to his original family, perhaps to visit, but never long enough to be a part of it again.

He wished to scoff at himself, it wasn't like he'd ever reach out to them anyways. He didn't fear their reactions any longer, just couldn't overcome his guilt.

He wished he'd never dragged himself here as he tested up. He refused to cry, would not allow it. He didn't need this turmoil at such a time of darkness, of all swallowing black and suffocating blue. But he must have loved Lightning McQueen, knowing how much he cared for Radiator Springs at the base of this whole city scheme. Knowing all this, he could not deny Lightning's offer of earning money in the city, even at his own risk of emotional stress.

Because he loved Lightning, and it would help keep Lightning loving him.

He sighed, upset at being wraught on losing his original family. He'd wanted love and approval, he got it, besides, he knew for years he'd never return to his hometown now. As he rolled back to position for sleep, he concluded he'd have to forget about those he loved in the past, his past family, to truly enjoy the love he has now.

As he fell asleep, he knew he'd never forget. It was hopeless.

The next morning, they woke and stretched their axles, and Sheriff flipped on the TV. Doc sighed, preparing to head out for the day. He knew full well that he was not going to search for a job today, his moments of wakefulness last night left him restless the rest of the day, and filled him with thoughts he couldn't properly sort out in the tired state he was in.

In short, he was not in any state for serious work.

Sheriff offered to follow him out, show him more potential job locations, and Doc politely declined. "I think maybe you should show Lightning around, help him get familiarised. You know the sites."

Doc started to leave, paused, and turned around. "Perhaps something not quite so illegal this time."

He meant it as a joking jab, but lightning's fear almost stabbed his heart. That was another topic concerning him. Lightning loved him, loved spending time with him, but he always seemed so scared whenever anything went wrong. It's not like he yelled at the child, just sometimes his sarcasm was better fit for the more resilient adult. Just sometimes he was a tad too harsh, and it was always Sheriff taking him out to do things.

He definitely needed to rethink somethings. With a sigh he left, hesitating behind the now closed door to hear Sheriff once again reassure Lightning.

"Don't worry bout it, he's smart, and he ain't mad. Remember, I've known him for years."

And thus our transitioning back into the exploration of Doc and Lightning's relationship more in depth