"Baby, are you sure you packed that long lighter thingie?" I pause as we exit the lobby of the hotel in Grasmere, fiddling with my oversized tote that hold both the floating water lanterns and a change of shoes for dinner after the lake visit, as my stomach suddenly flips with nervous energy.

Peter wraps his arm around my shoulder and plants a soft kiss to my temple that instantly seems to calm me down, "For the fourth time, yes, love," he whispers sweetly, "It's probably just fallen to the bottom of that oversized bag of yours. Have you checked underneath your sandals?"

"Ah! Yes! Here it is!" I cry triumphantly as I pull the lighter from the bag and shake it victoriously, "sorry, thank you..." I smile at him, leaning over and kissing him on the lips. He pulls me in closer to his side as we fall into a natural step together down the winding driveway of our hotel, smiling at some other couples as they pass us by.

"We're just going somewhere casual for dinner, right Peter?" I ask a bit nervously, pulling away from his side but grasping his hand in mine as I look over his smart looking attire, and then down at my own apprehensively.

"It's a little above casual but nowt fancy," he says, stepping away and eyeing me appreciatively from top to bottom, "have I told you how gorgeous you look tonight?" He pulls me slightly off the sidewalk and onto the grass, his arms wrapping around my waist and pressing me flush against him, and I can't help the blush that creeps upon my cheeks

"Only about six times or so before we left the room," I smile cheekily at him, "but I won't stop you from saying it another six times..."

"How about six hundred?" he captures my lips with his and when he pulls back I'm trying to stifle the giddy smile I know is tugging at my lips and I rub them together

"That might be a tad excessive, Barlow," I playfully pat his chest,

"You look stunning, Carla," he says sincerely, taking in my long, flowy midi skirt, flat sandals and loose off the shoulder 3/4 length sleeve jumper, "you never needed the fancy designer gear to do that," he kisses my cheek, lovingly, "but I can't deny that I can't wait to see you at dinner in them heels you brought with you later..."

I chuckle a bit, "they're hardly the heels I'm used to though, are they?" I say referring to the wedge sandals that sit in my tote, "they're about 2 inches shorter than most of my heels, but I think they're all I can muster right now..." I look down embarrassingly

"Hey," he plucks my chin up with his forefinger, "what do you mean, love?"

"Peter, look at me," I state and take a step back from him, my arms out on either side of me, my brows furrowing in concern, "I've been so used to wearing leggings, and trainers and loose shirts for months, that the thought of even getting back into my regular clothes, just terrifies me. I keep wearing all these loose things because," I run a hand through my hair, "I'm just not comfortable in me own skin, yet..."

I feel his hand wrap about my upper arm, pulling me against him. His hands slide down, circling just below my hips, and he sways me slightly, "you will be love," he whispers, kissing the tip of my nose, "one day at a time, remember?"

I nod and look up into his eyes — those damn captivating eyes that still make me weak in the knees and cause the butterflies in my stomach to flutter as rapidly as they did all them years ago; and here we stand, nine years on from the time I fell hard for my then best mate's fiancee, and despite them aging ever so slightly, his eyes remain as warm and filled with love as they gaze upon me as they ever did; and I abruptly feel overwhelmed and undeserving of it all...

"Come on," I say as I reluctantly remove myself from him, "at this rate, we'll lose the sunset," I smile softly, taking hold of his hand again as we head towards the path leading to Lake Grasmere.

"How's this spot, Car?" Peter calls to me as he stands a ways off on the bank, and I glance to him, smiling and nodding in approval. But before I head over to him, I turn back to the water ahead of me, my eyes closing as I feel the warmth of the setting sun's beams casting over me.

I breathe in deeply, and as I exhale slowly, my eyes blink open and I feel a slight apprehensiveness taking over.

This is it.

This is the moment I choose to stop running from Frank Foster...

As I walk towards Peter, I can't help but grin at his child-like dopey expression. He's so proud of himself for suggesting this last year, and the happiness that we were able to actually make it here today radiates off of him as he holds his hand out for me to grasp as I step over a large log that lies between us before both leaning up against it, my head resting instinctively onto his shoulder as we await the sun to finish setting.

"I love you, you know," the words escape me before I can stop myself and I suddenly feel a lightness about me as I continue on; the floodgates having opened with no hope of closing now, "I never stopped..."

"I know," he whispers back, giving my shoulder a squeeze as he kisses my head, "I never stopped loving you either," he sighs, "never, Carla. I know you may not believe that after everything that happened between us when we were married, but it's true. It's only ever been you..."

"I believe you, Peter," I assure him, "I do. After everything that happened this year, I believe that more than ever," I raise my head to look at him, my fingers coming up to playfully tug on his trimmed beard, "you know, I was sure you had cut and run in March. I was sure you had believed the absolute worst in me; that I was capable of burning down your boat and setting someone else up to take the fall in the process. I thought you finally saw what everyone else did: that I was rotten inside..." I swallow, watching as he shakes his head and I press my forehead to his before he can interject, "I thought you had stopped loving me even though you told me you hadn't that day in your dad's car. And as I watched you drive away, I felt my heart shattering in my chest and I didn't know if I'd ever be able to put it back together again. And then you came back...you were the only one who saw me even when others couldn't recognize me," I shudder against him as I remember my breakdown months ago, "when I couldn't even recognize myself...and that's when I knew," I swallow the lump that rises in my throat, "that's when I knew that you really did love me, but I was too broken to feel anything..."

"I knew you were in there, baby," he says softly, "I just didn't know if you would have been able to come through it," he squeezes me closer to him and I hear his voice cracking, "I wouldn't have stopped loving you though, and I need you to know that. Even if you never came through it, I would still love you to my dying breath."

I feel the tears escaping my eyes, and when I open them I see his own are making their way down his face. I twist my body towards his, reaching up and cupping his face, my thumbs brushing his cheeks as he has done with me so many times, and I lean in to kiss him, "I know," I say as I move my lips to kiss his forehead, "I know..."

He returns the favour of wiping my tears away before kissing my temple and encouraging me to lay my head back on his shoulder. We're quiet for a few minutes, simply marveling at the colours of the sky as the sun sets further behind the trees, until his soothing voice breaks the silence that surrounds us, "I nearly forgot," he says with a chuckle, "when I told me dad where we were going earlier this week, he insisted on telling me how Grasmere was home to the poet William Wordsworth for about 8 years. I think he's buried here actually..."

"Not planning an excursion for us, are you darlin'?" I chuckle and he pokes me playfully

"If you keep up with that smart mouth, I just might," he teases, "anyhow as I was saying, dad told me that Woodsworth wrote some of his best poems here, so I decided to look him up on me tablet -"

I raise my head and look at him, my eyebrow inching upwards skeptically, "okay," he acquiesces and chuckles, "I had our Si look it up," I can't help but laugh and he pulls me back under his arm, "he found this quote that he thought was perfect for us,"

"Did he now?" I can't help but smile, "should I be worried?"

I feel him shake his head as he raises my hand to his mouth and kisses my fingers, "not at all, he adores you, you know that."

I nod, feeling so much more at ease being back with Peter now that Simon and I get on like a house on fire, "go on then," I encourage him, "what's this quote he found?"

"Life is divided into three terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present, to live better in the future."

I feel a shiver running down my spine as the words fully sink in, "Oh," I say, "oh, he's good..."

Peter laughs, "let's not tell him that though eh? His head'll grow so big he'll have to turn sideways to get through doorways..."

"So, definitely like his dad then..." I tease and he tickles me

"So help me, I will throw you into this lake, Connor," he threatens me playfully,

"You wouldn't dare," I challenge him

His eyes traipse up and down my body, "Oh believe me, I'd love nothing more than to see you all wet..." he kisses my lips passionately, "but I suppose I could wait until we make use of that hot tub later tonight, give the bed a break eh?" he winks at me cheekily

I shake my head, "I still can't believe you found a hotel room that has its own little closed in terrace with its own hot tub!" I cup his cheek lovingly, "baby this must of cost you a small fortune..."

He shakes his head, "I booked it last year,"

"What?"

He nods his head, "September 22nd. Got a deal on it and all for booking so far ahead,"

"I can't believe you did that," I whisper, a smile tugging at my lips. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes again as it fully dawns on me just how much he loves me, and I start to feel myself becoming incredibly emotional. Before I turn into a simpering wreck, I pull myself up to a standing position, "right, shall we do this, then?" I say as I lift my tote onto the log and ruffle through it, pulling out the lighter and the two lanterns.

"You lighting two of them, love?" he asks as I hand him one

"No. One's for you," I say with a smile, unfolding the lantern and popping it into shape and he look quizzically at me

"For me?" he asks, turning the lantern in his hands

I nod and step in front of him, my hand placing itself on his softly, "for Tina..."

He shakes his head, "Car-"

"No," I place my finger against his lips to stop him from protesting, "what you said on New Years Eve Peter, that you'll never forgive yourself for Tina, you have to, baby," I can see him stubbornly trying to fight it so I plead with him, "Peter, I've forgiven you. And now you have to as well; for both of our sakes, you have too..."

He reaches his hand around my head, pulling me in sharply for a kiss, and I can feel him breaking softly as his lips dance with mine. He pulls back, his forehead resting on mine and when he speaks it's barely above a whisper, "I don't deserve you..."

"I think we should start believing that we deserve the love that we have for each other," I say before chuckling, "that, or that we need to accept that we need to stay together simply to contain the 'crazy' and not infect those that will undoubtedly walk into our orbits, otherwise..."

He laughs that loud, genuine, Peter Barlow laugh that just melts me, "I love you, Carla."

I feel the blush rising to my cheeks again, and I push away from him, "I know you do, you soppy git," I tease, "now let's get these sorted and lit because I do not want to be traipsing down that trail in the dark!"

He mock salutes, "yes madam bossyboots," and he chuckles as I stick my tongue out at him.

We stand at the water's edge, each holding our now lit lanterns. Peter goes first, crouching down and placing it softly onto the water, giving it a sharp nudge and it slowly floats away with the breeze. I stand watching as he rises to his feet, his eyes glued to the lantern and he breathes in deeply and exhales, a smile of contentment slowly gracing his face and he turns to me, "your turn, baby."

I crouch down and place the lantern on the water, but before I can give it that final push out, I find myself hesitating. I can feel my mind starting to play tricks with me, and I try to control the rising panic I feel as my brain reels with voices from that night - that night eight years ago today...

"Be honest with me Carla, then I'll go! I think you owe me that, eh?"

"Okay, there is someone, yeah."

"You see, I knew it. Who is it?"

"It really doesn't matter-"

"Let me guess? Ex-alchie? Runs a bookie? Leather jacket? It's him isn't it?...Isn't it?!"

"Yeah…"

"Where? here? In our bedroom? How many times?"

"Stop it…"

"Every time you had a meeting with a 'so-called' client! Was he good? Did he make you cry out?"

"Stop it! We didn't sleep together! I just-can't get him out of my head. That's all. Now, please will you just go, 'c-cause you asked me to tell you the truth and I have done. Just go…"

"I trusted you, I opened up to you like I never have with any other woman, and you-you were using me."

"No I wasn't-"

"Using me to make your boyfriend jealous! A smokescreen! For your sordid little affair!"

"It's not true-"

"And now you think you can just chuck me away, job done?"

"Okay, I want you to go, now!"

"It's your fault...you made me do it!"

"Carla...?"

For a moment I'd forgotten how it felt to be completely paralyzed in shock, just as I had been eight years ago, tonight. And yet here I am, experiencing it all over again as if it were yesterday...and I feel my heart sink as I panic that I am unable to go through with this...

I don't realize I am crying until I feel Peter's arm wrap about my shoulders supportively, his lips pressing softly to my damp cheek. "It's okay," he whispers, "take all the time you need, love. I'm right here with you..." he sparks the lighter, igniting the flame and holding it to the wick of my lantern's tea light, which had been extinguished from my falling tears. Once lit, he places the lighter down beside him, gives my shoulders a gentle squeeze, his now free hand brushing away the tears that have fallen down my cheeks as I remain crouched and trembling in his embrace. I breathe in deeply, my hand rising up and grasping his and I clutch it to my chest, drawing strength from him, just as I did all those years ago. I bring his hand to my lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles before releasing it and giving the lit lantern a push.

We rise to our feet, watching as it floats off towards Peter's.

And as I watch them both gently drift along, the flickering flames in them reflecting off the dark, inky water beneath them, standing here in my lover and partner's comforting embrace, I, for the first time in eight years, start to feel the parts of me that Frank had shattered, slowly piecing themselves back together...

I finish the last piece of steak, and placing my knife and fork onto the plate, I gently push it from me, "that was delicious," I say, eyeing the remaining chips on Peter's plate before reaching over and playfully plucking one. He swats at my hand, pretending to try to pry it back but as I quickly pop it into my mouth with a chuckle, he knows that I can see through him; he enjoys this little game we always play. He's always shared his chips with me...

He sidles up closer to me, kissing my temple and wrapping his arm around me, "what's the scores on the doors?" he asks with a smile

I chuckle, "I'd say about an eight right now,"

"Eight's very good," he smiles again and I feel my heart flutter

"I talked to my psychologist about this yesterday," I say quietly, "I told them about what we were gonna do up 'ere with the lanterns; and they said that my past will always be a part of my history, but it shouldn't be my present," I smile at him, "I feel lighter since I let that lantern go, I feel like I've finally said goodbye to Frank from always being in my present, and letting him go back where he belongs - in my past - to being a part of my history, and nothing more."

"That sounds like a good step, love."

I nod in agreement, "he'll still come back every now and again, I'm sure of that. But I think I may just be able to handle it better now," I let out a sigh, "Peter, I let him control so much of my decisions over the years; when he were alive, after he died...he were always controlling me, suffocating me. Every decision I made, including how our relationship started, stemmed from his influence, one way or another..."

"How'd you mean, 'how our relationship started,' love?" he asks me gently and I hear the worry in his voice.

As I look at him, the urge to lie looks more appealing; but I know in my heart that I've come too far now - we've come too far- in my recovery and in his, to not be honest anymore.

"We promised to be honest with each other, didn't we?" I respond carefully, "no matter what?"

He nods, but gets fidgety, his hand running over his mouth and beard nervously.

"Peter, lies destroyed us last time," I whisper as my body turns towards him and I grasp his hand in mine, "I need to know I can be honest with you and that you'll listen openly to what I'm gonna say," I feel my eyes prick with tears, my nerves are starting to get the better of me, "please, Peter," I plead with him as he drops his other hand from his face and cups mine instead

"Do you remember the lyrics of that song you like," he says to me reassuringly, "I'll Stand By You, by the Pretenders?" at my nod he continues, the backs of his fingers caressing my cheek softly, "nothing you confess, could make me love you less..."

At his encouraging smile, I breathe deeply, "I don't regret us ever getting together Peter, and I need you to understand that," he smiles and I exhale shakily, "but I do regret how we got together; how we hurt Leanne and Simon, and ..." I feel the tears welling up again in my eyes, "-and I regret my rationale behind the first time we had sex..."

"What do you mean?" he prods gently, and I note that his voice is kind and not accusatory, giving me the encouragement to continue

"I wanted to sleep with you since I first fell for you, and that didn't change that night," I feel myself getting nervous and quickly reach for my lime and soda, taking a rather large gulp of it to quench my now dry throat, before placing it back on the table and fiddling with my fingers, "I wanted you so much, but I also felt that if I didn't sleep with you then, you wouldn't want me anymore..."

I feel the moment the words hit him. His head drops, his breathing becomes shallow but he reaches out and grabs my hands in his, raising them both to his mouth as he plants several kisses on them before speaking, "I'm sorry..." he says as he raises his eyes pleadingly into mine, "I'm so sorry for ever making you feel that way-"

"No!" I cry out, my voice louder than expected and I dart my head nervously around the restaurant, thankful that none of the other punters seem to have heard me, and I turn back to him pleadingly, "it weren't you Pe'er, I need you to believe that! It had nothing to do with you, I promise!" I exhale, throwing my head back so my eyes gaze upon the ceiling above us momentarily before dropping back to him, "you never pressurized me, and I knew you never would. It were me, baby. It were Frank's voice in me head taunting me at our engagement dinner about how you would always choose Leanne because you've seen me at my worst. It were him taunting me that he'd make sure neither you or any other man would ever want me while he was ra-" I can't help the sob that escapes my lips and he shifts his body ever closer to me in the booth, his arms wrapping around me as he pulls me into his chest. My hands grasp the material of his shirt as his hand cradles the back of my head, shielding me from the view of any punters that may be looking, "it were me feeling like I were ruined, and dirty," I continue quietly, "and I thought that even though I knew I was, if I didn't try to prove to you that I wasn't that night, that you would eventually realize it yourself and you'd want nowt to do with me... and I wouldn't have been able to bear the pain of having you so close and then losing you without ever knowing how it felt to be with someone who loved me..."

"Oh love," he squeezes me tightly against him, pressing kisses to my head, "I can't believe you held this in for eight years." He sighs as I feel myself calming in his embrace, my hands wrapping around to his back and holding him closer to me, "I never saw you as ruined or dirty, Car. I know that's how you felt, and I understand why, but I never, ever saw you like that. I would've waited for you until you were ready, and to be honest I regret how we started out too. Because if I hadn't been such a coward, I would have ended it with Leanne and wooed you the way you deserved to be. I would have made you feel wanted and loved and desired, and maybe," he sighs deeply, "maybe then you would have started to see that you weren't ruined by Frank. And maybe our first time together would have been more about me worshipping you like the love of my life that I saw you as, and not as my secret affair..." He pulls me up, his hands cupping either side of my face and he kisses me, his head dipping down to look into my eyes lovingly, "you know, we may not be able to change the past, Car, but we can fix the present."

"How'd you mean?" I ask, my hand coming up to brush away the dampness on my cheeks

"Let's get the bill, and go back to the hotel room. We'll pop open that bottle of sparkling 'apple juice' as you call it," he laughs and I can't help but join in, "and we'll get into that hot tub, and have a romantic night in; a start to the rest of our lives - in your new skin, as it were - tonight, the proper way. Because Carla, if there's one thing I know with all my heart, it's that I love you as much now as I ever have. And if there's anything that I've learned from my brother and Sinead, it's that we can't risk waiting to show the one we love how much they mean to us..."

I feel my eyes water as I stare into his warm, brown eyes, and I rub my lips together and nod in agreement, placing a kiss on his cheek before cuddling into his side as he waves the waiter over...

My eyes slowly flutter open as the sunlight streams in gently through the curtains. I can hear the birds chirping merrily outside the windows and I carefully stretch my limbs, feeling the strong arm that's wrapped about me instinctively pull me in closer, and I grin happily as I take in my surroundings.

We lay in the bed of our hotel room, our naked limbs stretched out beside one another; thoroughly sated and content. My head rests in the crook of Peter's neck and I can feel the vibration of his steady heartbeat, feel the soft rise and fall of his chest below my fingertips, as he slowly awakens himself. And it is in that moment, as I lay in the love of my life's arms, that I realize that for the first time in eight years - as September 19th turned into September 20th - Frank Foster did not once enter my dreamscape.

I kiss Peter's neck softly, feeling the vibration upon my lips as he groans slightly and gently begins to caress my back lovingly.

And in this moment, I remember what it was like to love someone unconditionally, and be loved unconditionally by them in return.

And as I snuggle more into Peter's warm body, that was something I promised myself that Frank would never take away from me again...

FIN