A/N: This chapter contains a spoiler for early season 2 of Lucifer.

Harry got up at the crack of dawn after his first night in his new home. His bed had been as good as the one in Lucifer's penthouse, and was the softest, most comfortable thing he could imagine with thick, warm blankets. As he'd drifted off to sleep with a belly full of macaroni cheese he'd sleepily gazed at the far wall where he could see a wardrobe full of his new clothes, and a bookshelf holding his small handful of books and toys. He certainly didn't want to risk losing all of that by being a lazy layabout the next morning now he had a real home. He'd prove he wasn't a burden! He carefully removed his Husky plushie – named Annwn with Maze's help – from the crook of his arm and set it carefully on his pillow while he made his bed.

There was no note on or under his door, and even after a thorough search downstairs he couldn't find a list of tasks to complete anywhere, so decided to show some initiative and do the obvious chores. Wary of waking anyone by vacuuming and risking angering them by being too noisy, he got to work scrubbing down the stove and doing the dishes from last night's dinner. He then got started on breakfast, cooking up some sausages (defrosted in the microwave), bacon, eggs, tomato, hash browns, and toast.

He wanted to cook a full English breakfast and prove what a good cook he could be, but he couldn't find any baked beans or black pudding. Hopefully they'd forgive him the omission, instead of blaming him for the lack of ingredients.

Everyone emerged just as he was putting out some cups of tea. It'd taken more effort than he'd expected to make it. What kind of people didn't own a kettle? Maybe it just hadn't been unpacked yet. He'd eventually given up searching and had resorted to heating mugs of water in the microwave.

"Mmm! That smells good!" Maze said, grabbing a plate and starting to eat. "Good work, spawn!"

"Thanks!" Harry said, beaming.

Trixie came out next, and asked for extra bacon, which he was happy to oblige her with.

"Are you going to eat too?" Maze asked. "Come and sit down, Harry. You're supposed to eat three times a day, remember? My parenting book says that breakfast is an important meal of the day for children."

"But Chloe hasn't been served yet," Harry fretted.

Maze shrugged. "So leave her a plate and cover it with aluminum foil. I think she's in the shower, but I guess she should be out soon."

Harry made sure to leave Chloe a generous portion of everything and served himself a plate.

"What about snacks?" Trixie asked Maze.

"What about them?"

"You have three meals a day plus snacks," Trixie explained. "You can have a snack at school in the morning before lunch, and another snack in the afternoon when you get home."

"Huh. Like nachos or chips?" Maze asked.

"No. Usually something small and healthy like fruit or carrot sticks. If you're lucky it's a cookie or some chocolate cake."

"What do you think, Harry?" Maze checked.

"I've never gotten snacks before, but my cousin had lots of them. Way more. But he was really fat, so I guess what Trixie said is probably better. Not the cake. The fruit and vegetables."

"Are you going to pack a sack lunch for Harry tomorrow for school?" Trixie asked.

"Can't he do that?"

"I can do it myself, if you like?" Harry volunteered optimistically. When Aunt Petunia had packed his lunches they'd never been very generously-sized.

Chloe came downstairs in a dressing gown with her hair all damp, grabbed her covered plate and joined them at the table.

"This looks fantastic!" she said, uncovering her breakfast. "Maze, I didn't know you were such a good cook, thank you!"

Maze looked over at Harry, and he shrugged and stayed silent. If she wanted to take the credit he wouldn't stop her. Aunt Petunia used to do it all the time, pretending she was the one who'd labored over the housework and gardening, whenever neighbors praised her skills.

"Harry made it. Pretty good work, hey?" Maze said. "I don't cook much. Barbeques are fun, though."

Chloe widened her eyes and attempted to give Maze a meaningful look, subtly jerking her head in Harry's direction.

Maze looked puzzled for a second, then her expression cleared and she asked Harry, "Uh, you didn't use any sharp knives, did you? That's not allowed."

"No, Maze. Just a steak knife to cut the tomato."

Maze smiled and nodded her approval, which made Harry relax a bit.

Chloe sighed. "You did a great job Henry… Harry. Breakfast is fantastic, really. But you're too young to be cooking unsupervised, especially such a big meal at the stove."

"Hey!" objected Maze. "He's older than Trixie! He can do more than toast – he made great pancakes with strawberries for me and Lucifer at Lux. He didn't break the knife rule, so what's the problem?"

"If it's the mess in the kitchen, don't worry, I'll do all the dishes afterwards and wipe down the counters," promised Harry, getting nervous at Chloe's disapproval. "Or if you don't want me to cook, I can get started on pruning the rosebushes? Or vacuuming? Or the laundry? Just tell me what my chores are, and I promise I'll do a good job."

"It's fine, Harry," Chloe said soothingly. "You did a great job today. You don't need to do any of that other stuff, alright?"

Chloe's reassurances didn't settle Harry's nerves, however, and he ate a little anxiously while Trixie chattered brightly about how much fun it'd be to go to school together tomorrow.

After breakfast, Harry noticed Chloe drawing Maze aside for a private talk, and he ignored Trixie's invitation to watch TV with her in favor of eavesdropping at Maze's closed bedroom door. They were quiet but not whispering, which was a blessing for him.

"…too much for him," he overhead Chloe say. "Just because he's used to it doesn't mean it should continue."

"Look," he overheard Maze say. "Demon spawn need to prove their usefulness, or they might be killed by the stronger demons."

Chloe let out a strangled groan. "Enough with the metaphors! Look, he's human, he's a child, and doing too much work at his age is a problem."

"Nuh uh! He's more like a little demon spawn right now than a human child. He's used to a rough life where he needed to fight for every scrap of food and prove his worth to his caretakers. If he doesn't have a chance to prove he's worth keeping, he's going to get stressed, and scared. Maybe even violent. We need to let him prove himself and then he'll settle down because he'll know we won't discard or hurt him."

There was silence for a moment, before he heard Chloe say, "You're right. Yes, we need to remember he's from a background of neglect and abuse. So, you're saying he needs to prove himself? Did Linda say that would help?"

"She said a bunch of stuff, I can't remember all of it. But there was definitely something about making sure he feels safe and like I won't get rid of him. Trust me, this will help. He also needs to know that he's at least as important as Trixie is."

"Alright, then. You're his uh… carer, but we need to have consistent parenting since we're sharing a house. How about he does the same tasks as Trixie, like keeping his room tidy, doing his homework, and putting his own laundry away, plus one or two other tasks? He is older than her. But not cooking breakfast every day."

"Whatever. How about he just cooks breakfast on weekends, and maybe gardening once a week? Give him some praise and he'll be a happy little spawn. Decker, you'll need to explain that to Trixie that I'm not mad at her if I pick him first for things. That I still like her, but Harry will need to know he's at least as good as she is, at least for me."

"Great!" Chloe said. "I can do that. Alright, you should let him know about his new chore schedule, then."

"No need. He's been eavesdropping on us, haven't you, Harry?"

Harry scrambled away from the door swiftly and silently, and when the two adults emerged from Maze's bedroom a few minutes later they found him acting casual, trying to pretend he'd been sitting on the couch watching TV with Trixie all along.

Maze didn't seem fooled though and took him back to her room for a private talk, just the two of them.

"Decker wants me to tell you off for eavesdropping," Maze started, "but my parenting book says you should reward kids for behavior you want to see continue. Frankly, if you didn't want to listen in to important conversations about yourself I'd think you were a damn idiot. So, well done."

"I wasn't eavesdropping," Harry insisted.

"Lying's fine too," Maze added, ruffling his hair like he was being adorably cute. "You don't have the skill to pull off lying to me though, so don't think you'll get away with it. I'm honestly not mad about the eavesdropping though, so it's not even necessary to try right now. Trust me, if I'm angry at you, you'll know. But unless you're like, betraying me or outright torturing or killing someone and I haven't told you you're allowed to do it, you're not going to wear any consequences worse than a time-out or a loss of privileges. Like dessert or TV. I might make you exercise, I guess. They do that in the army, and it's apparently alright to make kids do push-ups too. My book and Linda agree that it's bad to hit kids, so I won't do that. Not counting if we're doing martial arts training, and then you're allowed to hit me back; I won't be hitting you as a punishment. I might yell or swear, though."

Harry let the implicit permission to kill people if Maze said it was okay slide by. He knew as a demon she didn't look at things quite like humans did. Instead, he merely hesitated before asking what he really wanted to know about. "You're really not mad at me?"

"Nope, and Decker's only slightly annoyed. So, don't eavesdrop on her in the future unless it's really important and you're sure you won't get caught, deal?"

"Deal," Harry agreed warily.

-000-

Harry slowly settled into his new life as Henry 'Harry' James Smith, in kinship care with his alleged relative Mazikeen Smith as his foster parent. As Lucifer's forged and favor-supplied paperwork for them slowly worked its way through the bureaucracy of various government departments, both Harry and Maze were surprised to find that she started to receive a small amount of money from the government to help pay for his care. He wondered if the Dursleys had received government benefits in the UK for looking after him, despite constantly complaining about what a burden he was.

Despite the small income Maze spent a lot of time job-hunting, however, not wanting to stay forever dependent on Lucifer's generosity to cover her bills. She eventually took the phrase 'job-hunting' literally and started working as a professional bounty hunter, catching criminals and parole-dodgers and dragging them – sometimes literally – to the cops.

When Maze was away and Chloe was working, Harry and Trixie were cared for by either a babysitter or by Trixie's dad Dan. Harry found he really liked the man, and thought he was nothing like Uncle Vernon except for a willingness to overindulge them both with too much chocolate cake. The two kids were also – at Maze's insistence to balance out 'all the human-ness' – occasionally babysat by Lucifer. He wasn't as good at games as Dan was, but he was a much better cook.

Official government recognition of a kinship care arrangement did come with a string attached, however. Henry Smith was now on the radar of LA's Kinship Care Services department, and that meant a home visit by a local DCFS social worker. However, with a well-kept house and two police officers willing to vouch that Maze was doing a decent job, they didn't even need Lucifer's charm to smooth the way.

Maze still made mistakes, however, so far none of them had been the kind you couldn't recover from.

At school one afternoon when she was picking up him and Trixie, another parent gestured at Harry and asked bluntly, "What is he? Where's your boy from?"

"He's part-demon or part-angel, we're not sure yet," Maze said, startled into sharing more truth than perhaps was wise. "Maybe something else. Probably born on earth, though." Lucifer got away with constantly telling the truth due to his boundless charisma, but Maze didn't have that advantage and usually tended to lie. Slips ups did still happen from time to time, however.

"Aren't all children a bit of a mix of both?" the mother laughed. "But I meant where's he from… is he British? That accent is so cute!"

"Oh… yes. Part of the family is English. He's an American citizen, though."

"Like your boss. He has such a wonderful accent," the mother said, with a wistful sigh, twiddling the rings on her left hand absent-mindedly. "Is he the father?"

"No."

Harry had overheard Chloe curiously and persistently asking Lucifer about it, shortly after Harry had moved in. Lucifer had been very insistent about Harry definitely not being his son. He apparently hadn't even been visiting earth in the right year for Harry to be conceived.

"I don't work for him anymore," Maze snapped. "I'm my own… woman."

"She hunts down bad people!" Trixie piped up. "The ones who get away from the police or who don't go to court when they should."

"But not with a gun," Harry added. "It's not sporting and she has to bring them in alive anyway."

"That's… nice," the mother replied, with a strained smile. "Well, we must be going. Come along, Neil."

She hustled away her son quickly, leaving the three of them staring after her.

"Huh. What went wrong there? Not that I care," Maze said.

Harry suspected she did care – a little – but didn't want to admit it.

"I dunno. Maybe she doesn't like cops?" Trixie suggested. "Or maybe your cranky voice scared her?"

"I didn't use a scary voice!" Maze said, brow furrowed in total disbelief.

"Humans get scared easily," Harry said, agreeing with Trixie. "Even a little cranky can be scary, and you're very good at being scary when you want to be."

Maze shrugged. "Whatever. I've got enough friends already. So, you kids ready to go get haircuts? We can get cake afterwards."

"Yeah!" Trixie said, bouncing with excitement.

"Let's go!"

Maze was even more disappointed than Harry was when Harry's new haircut was still there the next morning.

"I thought you said it would grow back," she griped. "Overnight, you said."

"It did last time. I don't know why it didn't now. They cut off more hair than my aunt did, though it looks much better. Maybe because it was at a proper barber shop with clippers, instead of at home with kitchen scissors?"

Maze grunted unhappily. "Maybe. The metal might make a difference. Lucifer wants to try stabbing you with his collection of knives made of different materials, to see if you heal differently with different things. But you're my spawn and I don't think it's a good idea unless we know you'll heal fast, and I'm not so sure you will. You've still got that skinned knee and that was from yesterday."

Harry's heart warmed. He was her spawn.

"He's got another plan to try and test your powers this weekend. Remember what we talked about, if he tries to hurt you without my permission?"

Harry nodded, and said nervously, "I kick him hard in the nuts and tell him if he wants to boss around demon spawn that you said he can go to Hell and do it there."

Maze nodded approvingly and ruffled his hair. "That's it! You stand up for yourself. He'll respect that, if you don't push it too far."

Lucifer's plans weren't as bad as either of them had feared though. When Maze dropped Harry off at Lux on Saturday after his morning ninjutsu class she had a quick chat with Lucifer and gave Harry an approving nod before leaving. He relaxed fractionally, and when Lucifer revealed the day's plan he relaxed even more.

"Hawaiian shirts!" Lucifer announced, opening up a cardboard box full of kid-sized clothes. "I got one in fuchsia with lime green hibiscus flowers, and another in a virulent shade of orange with purple palm trees. If that doesn't trigger your bad-fashion-destroying powers, we'll have to break out the t-shirt with the pug wearing a hat, the Hammer pants, and the cheap nylon in neon colors," he said, with a shudder of genuine disgust.

Harry obediently spent the morning playing dress-up in a variety of exceptionally ugly clothes, happy in the knowledge that no knives were involved in today's powers-testing plan, and that he wouldn't have to ever wear any of the outfits in public.

"Are you even trying to shrink or otherwise destroy these abominations against good taste?" Lucifer complained, after a red Christmas sweater with a print of Trump wearing a Santa hat and the words 'Make Christmas Great Again' had failed to yield any kind of supernatural effects at all.

Harry took the sweater off and tossed it in the discard pile. "I promise I am! I'm trying to shrink them, but nothing's happening."

"You don't like Hawaiian shirts and neon, do you?" Lucifer asked suspiciously, holding out a shockingly bright pink ruffled tutu that featured a llama's head picked out in rainbow sequins on the bodice for some bewildering reason. Harry stepped into it obediently.

"Hell no!" Harry swore. Maze had trained him out of saying 'God', and Chloe had approved 'hell' as being a borderline acceptable swear word. "These are the ugliest clothes I've seen in my life, I promise. I don't have to keep them after we're done, do I?"

Lucifer shook his head decisively. "Definitely not. I think we should probably throw them in the bin."

"I think we should burn them," Harry suggested. "If we throw them away there's a risk someone might find them and wear them."

Lucifer perked up. "Even better! Dumpster fire it is. Alright, we've got the bubble skirt with the cartoon animals and the orange overalls with the giant pockets to go, and if that doesn't do the trick we'll call it a day, and get you back into Gucci trousers and a nice button-up shirt, alright? There's only so much hideousness I can bear to look at."

-000-

Harry tried doing everything he could to impress Maze and show how grateful he was for her giving him a real home. His cooking skills won her approval, but he wasn't allowed to cook and show off for her as often as he'd like. Some cautious questioning, which he turned into blunt questioning after Maze failed to see what he was trying to ask, elicited her opinion that she'd prefer he did well in school rather than badly. Getting good grades won praise from Trixie's mom, which was nice, but while Maze approved of him getting three A's on his report card it didn't win him the same level of verbal praise, approving nods, and literal pats on the head that mastering new martial arts moves did. So, Harry poured more energy into building his physical fitness and practising his katas, working out every morning. Trixie thought it was really cool he was learning to fight (and was kind of jealous) and offered him the future position of General of Mars, which he accepted graciously. Chloe bought him a Security-red Star Trek shirt in celebration, which she'd decorated with iron-on patches of a circle of five stars on each shoulder. Trixie got a royal purple fringed presidential sash to go with her own Command-gold shirt, which made her babble with excitement.

The two of them played space-themed games for the next fortnight and built a spaceship out of cardboard boxes in Harry's room, since there was more space in there. It was their secret place to whisper and plot, no adults allowed. Trixie whispered about her hope that Lucifer and her Mommy would get together now that her parents' divorce was final, so that Mommy would be happy again and Lucifer would always keep them safe. Harry shared his fear that Maze wouldn't keep him if it turned out that he was just an ordinary human boy after all, and he'd have to live with strangers who might be just as bad as his aunt and uncle had been, or that he'd end up in an orphanage.

"Maze loves you though!" Trixie reassured. "She works really hard at being a Mommy. I think she'd keep you anyway."

"I don't know," Harry said dubiously. "She liked Lucifer, and promised to be loyal and stay with him, but she left him anyway and she knew him for centuries. She barely knows me, really. I have to show I'm special. Which is so different from the Dursleys! They hated it when weird things happened."

"Well, they sucked. Anyway, adults separate sometimes because they grow apart but it's no-one's fault, Mommy said so. It just happens. It doesn't happen like that with parents and kids. You like it better here with us, right? You don't want to leave us?"

"No way! It's so much better. Having a little sister is way better than having a cousin," Harry promised. "You're my best friend, Trixie."

"Better than Paul?"

"I like Paul, it's nice to have a school friend, I've never had one before. But yes, better than Paul."

"Oh!" Trixie exclaimed. "I know! If something happens with Maze, then Lucifer can look after you, and then when he and Mommy get married then we'll be brother and sister."

"Lucifer's the one who said Maze has to give me back to the police or something if I'm just ordinary," Harry fretted.

"He wouldn't do that."

"That's what he said!"

"I bet he's changed his mind now he knows you, but if he won't adopt you then maybe my Mommy can do it! But I think Maze really wants to keep you Harry, so you don't need to worry about that," Trixie said, giving Harry a hug. He clung to her like a limpet.

-000-

"Star," Harry guessed.

Maze flipped the Zener card she was holding up so Harry could see the design. "Nope. Wavy lines."

She held up another card, wearing a carefully blank expression as she looked at the design that was hidden from Harry.

"Circle?"

She flipped it around to show Harry a cross and drew another card.

"Cross?"

This time he was right and gave her a happy smile.

After seven more cards – out of which he only got one more correct – they checked the tally.

"Seven right out of twenty-five. That's not too bad?" he said optimistically. "On average it should be five."

"Not significantly better than guessing. If you were a psychic you should have gotten at least twenty."

Harry sighed.

"We'll find something. It's alright that you don't have wings or a demon face, and mind-reading's a pain anyway – it drives a lot of people mad. How's your arm healing?" she asked. "I've got photos on my phone of how Linda's arm is going today, so we can compare."

Harry unbuttoned his shirt cuff and rolled his sleeve up. "I'm glad Linda's talking to us again. And now I can talk to her about demon stuff and she believes me."

"Me too. I was so mad at Lucifer for screwing everything up, but she's recovered well."

"She's helpful, too. Tiny cuts was a way better idea than throwing daggers or stabbing me."

"That was always a dumb idea. Lucifer's pretty stupid sometimes, and he doesn't listen to me like he should."

Maze leaned forwards with a faint squeaking sound from her tight leather clothes and peered closely at the seven parallel scratches along Harry's forearm. She hummed and glanced back and forth between Harry's arm and her phone and took some photos of the scratches.

"Well?" Harry asked impatiently.

"You're healing faster than Linda is. Five of these already look half-healed: copper, plastic, glass, stone, and silver. The cold iron and the demon steel are going slower. Interesting."

"What does it mean?"

Maze shrugged. "I don't know. It's something, though. It'd be clearer if it was only the demon-steel taking longer; then we'd know you're most likely a cambion or nephilim. I'll tell Lucifer, and once he pulls his head out of his ass and stops moping about Uriel he can talk it over with Amenadiel. We'll talk to Linda, too, of course. For the human perspective."

"So, I'm definitely something not-human?" Harry asked. It was weird to feel hopeful at the possibility of proof he was indeed a freak. The truth was, however, that he wanted to be a freak with Maze, Chloe, Trixie, and Lucifer for company, much more than he'd ever wanted to be normal for the Dursleys.

"What am I, an injury expert? Don't answer that," Maze said, and Harry's jaw snapped shut before he'd said a word. "I don't know how much human healing varies on earth. Hell, you might even be part samovila or something, I don't know. Oh! We should check if you can entrance people by dancing or singing."

"Part what?"

"Samovila, also known as vila or samodiva. They're a species of shape-changing harpy that can look like beautiful human women. There used to be a couple of villages of them back in the twelfth century, or was it the eleventh?

"Anyway, Lucifer was very fond of them," she said, with a smirk, "and on one of our visits to earth he spent a week solid at their village Zmajkovo, in Bulgaria. It's gone now, though. Just a boring empty field, and so is Patelevo in Macedonia. Believe me, Lucifer and I looked hard for them, while he stubbornly pretended he wasn't upset they'd died out. There were never a lot of them, and sailors killed most of the harpies over the centuries. Still, maybe you have one for an ancestor? They loved mixing with human men, even though they can lay eggs just fine without them."

Harry blinked. He wasn't sure he wanted to be part egg-laying harpy. Still, it would be better than being normal. "Do they have wings? Maybe I flew up onto the school roof without knowing? Are vila wings different to angel wings in how they come out? Would you keep me if I'm part-vila?"

"Sure," Maze said instantly, which he found encouraging. "Lucifer promised I wouldn't have to hand you over to human foster carers unless you're pure human. I think vila wings work differently to angel wings - I'll look into it. Pity I can't just nip into Hell to interrogate a few souls from centuries ago. I'll have to bug Lucifer with questions instead."

To check off the latest possibility on their list of possible powers to investigate, Harry was duly signed up for a talent show at school to dance and sing. He practiced at home dutifully but didn't feel that this was going to be it, especially when his practice performance at home didn't get a better response from Maze, Chloe, Dan, and Trixie than polite applause. Maze suggested he might just be too young for his vila powers to work yet, but Harry wasn't convinced by that argument. He didn't think his singing voice would get that much better in a few years' time, and decided he'd be happy to just not embarrass himself too much in front of the whole school at the talent show.

-000-

"How's your powers testing going?" Trixie asked, flopping onto Harry's bed early one Saturday morning. "Maybe you have cooking superpowers. You're really good at cooking! What are you making today? I'm hungry."

Harry yawned widely and smacked his lips sleepily. He'd been allowed to stay up late last night and watch 'Star Wars' as a reward for earning his green belt in ninjutsu. "I have some minor healing ability, but we haven't proven anything except that yet. Any other powers are yet to show themselves.

"Breakfast is going to be huevos rancheros breakfast tostadas with refried beans, egg, and avocado." He'd been experimenting with more exotic dishes lately than the Dursleys had ever stood for.

"Yum!"

Harry climbed out of bed, shrugged on his fuzzy green dressing gown, and headed downstairs to the kitchen with Trixie trotting eagerly beside him, chattering away brightly. "Maze said last night we're going out today, but she won't say what. It's a surprise. Mommy needs to go in to work again, but she says she has Tuesday and Wednesday off next week unless there's something really urgent on. Daddy's coming over for Taco Tuesday! Do you think you and Maze could invite Lucifer? Then he and Daddy can make friends some more, and Daddy won't be mad if Mommy goes out on a date with Lucifer."

Harry shook his head. "I don't think so. Lucifer's still having problems with his mum, and Maze says he's scared that she or some other angels might try and attack your mum if they figure out how much he likes her."

Trixie slumped and sighed unhappily.

Harry tentatively reached out to give her a comforting hug. "Hey, it's okay. They'll figure it out. He likes her, and she likes him, so they have to get together eventually. You sure you don't want Dan to get back together with your mum?"

Trixie shook her head slowly. "Noo… I did at first. But… they fought all the time. They still do, even when they're trying not to. I want my daddy to live with us again… but I also want them to be happy. Lucifer makes Mommy smile and laugh. Anyway, Daddy has a new girlfriend. He says I can meet her a bit later if things get more serious and he's sure they're going to work out. Maybe in a few weeks' time?"

"Huh! Well, good for him, I guess? Is she nice? What's she like?" Harry asked, getting started on cooking breakfast. Trixie sometimes like to help him in the kitchen, and today as her favorite cartoons hadn't started yet she fetched him things from the fridge, enjoying her role as cook's assistant.

"I don't know, I haven't met her yet," Trixie said, rolling her eyes. "Daddy says she's a lawyer and she is divorced with young kids. And she has some grown-up step-kids, too. So I think she must be pretty old."

"Ew!" Harry said, screwing up his face in disgust and sticking his tongue out. "She must be old enough to be your grandma."

"I know, right!"

Harry whizzed up some avocado, lime juice, and various other ingredients in a food processor, while Trixie focused carefully on spreading refried beans on some corn tortillas as he'd instructed.

"Lucifer's older…" Harry said thoughtfully, as he arranged the tortillas on a tray and sprinkled them with cheese before putting them in the oven. "He has to be like, thousands of years old."

Trixie's nose wrinkled up. "Welllll he doesn't look old. Or act old. So it's different. It's not like he's grandpa-old. He's silly, and fun. And nice. Daddy says his girlfriend is nice. I dunno." She shrugged noncommittally.

"Guess you'll find out eventually, if they stay together."

"Do you think Maze will ever get married?" Trixie asked.

Harry glanced around to make sure that the adults hadn't gotten up yet before whispering to Trixie, "Maze dates humans all the time, but not seriously. Lucifer told me that Maze dated his brother Amenadiel, but they broke up ages ago. Like last year or something. They had a big fight, and he doesn't think they'll get back together."

"Oh! Cool!" Trixie whispered back. "A demon dating an angel!"

Harry finished up the rest of the cooking on his own, after a brief argument with Trixie about it. Linda had encouraged him to fight – which was so weird – saying that it was healthy to argue about things so long as it didn't end in swearing, tears, badly hurt feelings, or actual real fighting. Trixie eventually conceded that it was true she wasn't allowed to use the oven or stove, and that Harry was in charge of cooking breakfast on weekends, and went to watch TV. Maze emerged from her room just minutes after their argument was settled and gave Harry an approving grin and a thumbs up, which heartened him and made him relax from his defensively hunched position. Harry knew she liked Trixie a lot, but she also liked seeing Harry win any kind of fight, even just an argument.

Chloe came down when Maze hollered that breakfast was ready and scarfed down some breakfast tostadas and inhaled some coffee before rushing out the door – almost late for work – with shouted thanks to Harry for the meal and some hugs for both kids. Harry liked Chloe's hugs. They were squishier and less stiff than Maze's hugs, which she still only gave very sparingly (though she was getting better). Harry suspected she'd been told by Linda – or read it in a book – that children needed hugs. Left to her own devices she seemed to favour smiles and pats on the head, favours, or gifts as her preferred ways to show affection. Harry had reassured her that it was fine – he wasn't used to hugs either. He didn't tell anyone – except Linda whom he could tell anything – that he wasn't used to approving smiles either. He didn't want Maze to smile at him because he wanted her to. He wanted her to do it just because she was happy with him. It was wonderful when she did that.

When breakfast was over and the dishes had been stacked in the dishwasher, Maze finally revealed the day's outing to them. "We're off to the zoo!"

"Yes!" Trixie shouted. "So cool!"

"That sounds fun!" Harry agreed, almost as excited as she was, just less inclined to bounce and yell.

-000-

The three of them had a great time at the LA Zoo. Alright, two of them did, anyway. Maze got bored whenever the kids wanted to look at the cuter and cuddlier animals and was mostly interested in the deadlier creatures on exhibit. As well as simply enjoying the day out, she encouraged Harry to take the opportunity to see if he had any 'beast-speaking' abilities.

"If you have selkie blood you should understand seals, for instance," she suggested.

"Disney princesses can all talk to animals," Trixie suggested helpfully.

"Oh?" Maze asked curiously. "Do they all drink the blood from dragons' hearts?"

"Ew! No."

"Ate a magic salmon? Got the ability to talk to clan spirits after eating mushrooms and going into a trance?"

Trixie shook her head. "I don't think so. They just can. Because they're princesses. Animals like them because they're nice people."

Maze looked skeptical but didn't challenge her claims any further.

Harry – to Trixie's disappointment – didn't seem to have the ability to charm birds out of the sky to sit on his shoulders during the zoo's 'World of Birds' show, nor was he able to talk to seals. Maze encouraged him to keep trying with other animals, however.

"Some types of magical creatures and beings have an animal that's special for them, and they can't talk to or control other animals."

"Maybe spiders?" Trixie suggested sympathetically. "You like spiders."

"Yeah, but if I could talk to them, I'm sure I would've noticed by now."

He had the most success with the owls in the aviary section. "I feel like some of them can maybe understand me?" Harry said optimistically.

He eyed a Eurasian Eagle Owl with beautiful dark brown and tawny plumage, and it stared back with vibrant orange eyes. "Flap your wings!" he ordered.

Trixie held her breath expectantly.

The owl just stared at him, wings still folded against its body. Its head moved very slightly.

"Didn't work," Maze said.

"No, it didn't," Harry agreed. "But I can just tell it thinks I'm an idiot. Its beak looks all disdainful."

"Its beak can't change," Trixie argued. "It's a beak. Not a mouth."

"Still. I can tell."

"Want to try another owl?" Maze invited.

He tried talking to – and ordering around – a few more owls. Most of them didn't give him that vague sense of being understood, no matter how much he concentrated or chatted to them. They seemed very ordinary, somehow. There was one Great Horned Owl that he thought he felt a connection to, but Maze and Trixie weren't very impressed by his relating that he could just tell it wanted to be left alone to sleep.

"Even I can tell that," Trixie averred.

"Yeah, the closed eyes are a bit of a hint. Still, it's a maybe. He might just need practice. Or the right owl," Maze conceded, giving Harry a pat on the head before making a note on her phone about the owls.

A slender lime-green snake with a yellow tail caught Maze's eye in the reptile house, as it slithered around on a leafy tree branch in its display tank. "This one has a deadly neurotoxin as its venom," she said approvingly. "West African Green Mamba."

"Scientific Name: Dendroaspis viridis," Harry read aloud, looking at the information plaque. "This reptile is a very alert and fast-moving snake. Green Mambas are primarily solitary creatures, and out of the four species of Mambas, they are one of three that are arboreal. They are diurnal hunters – active during the day."

He glanced up at the wiggly snake as it slithered around the branches. "You're certainly a very active ssnake, aren't you?" he hissed at it, not realizing how his voice had changed to an odd mix of hisses and sibilant syllables.

"Yess, I am. It is time to hunt and there is a bug in here," it hissed back at him, head turning to watch him.

"Did you hear that?" Harry said excitedly. "It talked! It's a talking snake!"

Maze shook her head. "No. It's just an ordinary snake. I think it's you. Try again! Get it to nod."

Harry turned back to it. "Can you understand me, ssnake? Would you please nod your head?"

It obediently did so, green head bobbing in place in the air while its body stayed wrapped around a branch. "Certainly, Sspeaker."

"Did you see that?!" Harry asked excitedly. "And I can hear it just like it's speaking English! You can't hear it, right?"

"I did! I saw it! That was so cool!" Trixie squealed, hugging Harry in her excitement. "It's not speaking English, you're speaking Snake! You sound like you're hissing stuff when you talk to it! Like hassah shahsha sss! Didn't you notice? What did it say?"

"First it said it was time to hunt and there was a bug somewhere, then it agreed to nod its head and called me 'Speaker'," Harry summarized.

"Do it again, I'll video you," Maze ordered, and Harry obliged, chatting with the snake for a while about how comfy its home was – it didn't know any different and food was plentiful – and what it meant to be a 'Speaker'. Maze and Harry were all a little disappointed to learn that the word didn't mean much more than the obvious – that it recognized that he was special for being able to speak to it, and it felt an urge to obey him.

"Does this mean I'm… what? Part-demon? Because of the serpent in the garden of Eden?" Harry asked excitedly.

"Well it's definitely not an angelic trait. I'm putting my money on naga ancestry; they're part-snake people who can take on human form, and they have their own language they instinctually know from birth. Also, the ability to sense things from owls might come from there too. Including the bit where they didn't want to listen to you. Nagas and various bird-people don't get along; they're traditional enemies, and there's a sense of that deep down. Might be a bit of witch or goblin ancestry mixed in there too. Lucifer's sure there's something a bit fey in the mix since you don't heal as well from iron weapons as other types."

It wasn't definitive enough proof to be completely sure what he was, just a best guess. However, it was enough for Trixie, though, who was convinced being part naga was incredibly cool. "You should get a pet snake, and it can sit on your shoulder and you can talk to it and it could do things for you!" she babbled excitedly. A family passing by through the exhibit smiled indulgently at her youthful imaginings and moved along peacefully.

"That does sound cool," Maze agreed. "I'm done with the zoo. Let's hit a pet shop and get you a snake."

The kids cheered their approval.

-000-

Despite the plan made at the zoo to buy Harry a snake immediately, it took more than a month before Harry actually got his new pet, and it actually ended up being an early birthday present. Maze had insisted that the only snake worth buying was one that was venomous, but Trixie had stubbornly insisted that her mommy would go nuts if they came home with a scary-looking rattlesnake or a slit-eyed viper, which were the only venomous snake species for sale in the couple of pet stores they'd checked out.

Maze had sulked and huffily refused to buy Harry a 'boring' snake, and in the end they'd returned home without a snake at all. Trixie's prediction proved to be true, for while Chloe was willing for Harry to have a pet snake in the house provided both he and Maze took good care of it, she insisted it be a safe, non-venomous species. With Lucifer's help through his network of contacts, Maze eventually found a suitable species for sale at a reptile expo and got paperwork and a permit sorted. Two sets of paperwork in fact.

Officially, and according to what Chloe was told, Harry was now the proud owner of a Rough Green Snake, named Jafar after the shape-changing villain in the 'Aladdin' movie beloved by both Trixie and Harry. He was a four-foot-long, beautiful bright lime-green snake with a touch of black on the edges of his scales, and cute brown round-pupiled eyes. The fact sheet about the proper care of Rough Green Snakes that Maze showed Chloe promised it was a non-aggressive harmless arboreal species that rarely bit humans.

On the second set of paperwork that Chloe didn't get to see, however, Harry was now in fact the proud owner of a Boomslang, an extremely venomous African tree snake which looked very similar to the more placid non-venomous species that Chloe thought they'd brought home. In private, Maze waxed lyrical about his new pet's hemotoxic venom that prevented coagulation; those bitten would likely underestimate the seriousness of the bite until they started uncontrollably bleeding from their eyes, mouth, and nose some hours later. Harry nervously ordered Jafar to never, ever bite anyone unless he was explicitly told to, an order which Jafar was happy to comply with.

"I'd rather not bite anyone unlesss I have to," Jafar promised. He was in fact a rather shy snake, and despite his deadly venom Harry hadn't found he was very aggressively-minded. "I only want to bite my prey. I promise not to bite any humanss – or demonss – unlesss you tell me to."

Jafar was a sweetheart, as attested to by Harry and Trixie, and while he enjoyed his massive six-foot-high vivarium with a big tree branch to curl around, there were few things he liked better than riding around atop Harry's shoulders, snuggled up against his warm neck.

"You're like a warm tree," Jafar said admiringly. "I am so lucky to be the companion of a Sspeaker!"

Harry took Jafar everywhere he could and introducing him to Lucifer was an interesting experience because apparently the fallen angel didn't smell exactly human, but he didn't smell like Maze either. Some extra instructions from Harry were needed, and 'bird-people' were added to the list of beings that Jafar wasn't allowed to bite.

Under Lucifer's watchful eye as their Bonder, with Jafar looking on interestedly from where he was coiled on Lucifer's shoulders, Maze officially adopted Harry with a magically-empowered Blood Pact ritual that wove red lines of light around their bloody clasped hands as she promised threefold to protect him from rivals who might seek to kill or injure him, to teach him to fight to the best of her ability, and to care for him as her own child until he was grown.

The boring adoption paperwork Harry's assigned social worker went over with them later at home was much less excitingly dramatic, but much more official for human purposes.

"Does this mean you're my mum now?" Harry double-checked.

"Oh! Yes, I suppose so," Maze said, as if the thought hadn't really occurred to her until now. She looked rather wide-eyed and startled.

"Congratulations mum, it's a bouncing baby part-lamia with a touch of fey magic," Lucifer said, with a cheerful toothy smile.

Maze flipped Lucifer off while Harry hugged her.

-000-

Harry had a real party of his own for his eleventh birthday at the end of June. He invited three kids from school he was friendly with, and another four from his ninjutsu class, as well as everyone in his adopted family, even the adults. So, Lucifer was there too, and Linda came as well, and Dan. There was cake, and party food, and games to play, and it was the best day ever!

His pile of presents might not have reached Dudley-like levels of magnificence, even with everyone's gifts all stacked up together on a table, but it was still overwhelming and made his heart feel like it was going to burst from sheer happiness.

He had new clothes, books about snakes and a couple of kids' cook books, some DVDs, a bunch of toys and board games, a race car set, a dartboard, and some shuriken. The shuriken were a secretive gift from Maze, who swore that throwing stars didn't technically count as knives so she wasn't breaking Chloe's rule, but advised that Harry should probably keep quiet about them all the same.

"Practice when she's not looking," Maze had advised.

After all the presents were opened, there were two cards from the mail to deal with. One was a polite birthday card with a spider holding a bunch of balloons on the front that had been sent by Harry's assigned social worker, cheerily wishing him a happy birthday. The other letter was a little more mysterious and was addressed in fancy calligraphy.

"It came for you this morning," Chloe said, passing it to Harry. "I've been wondering ever since who's it from? A friend from school who moved away?"

Harry shook his head. "No. I don't know anyone like that."

"Is it from your old family?" Chloe asked, in a sympathetic whisper. "Do you want me to read it for you? Or do you want to open it in private?"

Harry looked at the fancy black calligraphy on the front that read, "Henry James Smith, Upstairs corner bedroom with full bath" before their San Pedro street address. No way would the Dursleys use his new name (and how would they even know it?) or take the time to write in calligraphy. Nor would they write such an odd addition to an address.

"No, I don't think it's from them. I'll open it."

Breaking the old-fashioned wax seal on the envelope, Harry pulled out a couple of sheets of thick creamy paper that looked handmade. Reading over the odd letter he hummed thoughtfully. It looked like Lucifer had been right in his guess that Harry had some fey or witch ancestry as well as having naga blood.

"Maze, have you ever heard of a school called 'Ilvermorny'? I have an invitation to go there next year."

Maze looked momentarily startled, then grinned like a shark, all teeth. "That old place is still around?" she said, with a glance at Chloe and the small cluster of watching party guests. "I thought it had closed. Can I read the letter?"

Harry passed it over, and Maze skimmed through it quickly. "They accept day students, good. We'll need a fireplace."

"Pardon?" Chloe asked.

Maze cleared her throat. "Just distracted. Thinking about renovations to the penthouse Lucifer has in mind."

"So, I can go? It sounds fun."

Maze patted him on the head. "Yes, you can go. It sounds like a magical experience you shouldn't miss out on," she said, with a sly smile.

"Thanks… mum," Harry said shyly. Maze patted him on the head again and beamed proudly, before drawing him into a careful hug.

A/N: The information about the Green Mamba is a quotation from the LA Zoo website with only minimal alterations.

FYI it's canonical that Lucifer dislikes Trump. Lucifer quote about tyrants in Hell: "So, we can... you know, talk about Caligula, Stalin, Trump. I mean, I know he's not dead, but he's definitely going."

Consultingsorcerorof221B - Thanks for your help in selecting a snake species for Harry and an informative discussion on snakes.

Lilysmiles – Added in a denial of Lucifer's paternity, since someone totally should wonder about that.

Update! Unfortunately, due to a series of rude reviews containing abusive language, the final chapter of this fic has been deleted. If you're interested in reading the now-removed epilogue and willing to be courteous in your response (whether you like the epilogue or not), you can find it on my AO3 account.

The story as posted on FFN stands on its own as five chapters. The story as posted on AO3 is six chapters, and the epilogue contains bonus content for curious readers; a scene showing some repercussions for the Dursleys, and a concise summation of some flow-on events for those wondering, "What happened next?" It does not contain any additional full scenes with Harry, Maze, or Lucifer.