Chapter 3

Chapter Song - Sometime Around Midnight by The Airborne Toxic Event

Going back to my parent's empty home after leaving the wedding seemed horribly depressing and I think I've spent enough time laying in bed feeling sorry for myself, so I end up at the only dive bar in Forks, Sam's. It's dark and dingy, and it's crowded because it's Saturday night at one of the only nightlife spots in town. There's a band playing under dingy red lights, some kids from the Reservation, singing a dark ass cover of 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' and of fucking course, I can't get what I want. So I'll settle for some whiskey.

I find a little spot towards the end of the bar, where no one else is sitting, and I perch myself there, leaning all my weight into the counter because suddenly I just feel so. heavy. like my bones are brittle, no longer able to support my frame, my weight, and if it wasn't for the sticky countertop below my elbows, I would collapse to the floor. I'm curling around my glass of Jack, and a couple of drinks in, Sam seems to realize I'm going through it because he just leaves the bottle on the counter and goes to tend to other patrons.

The band is playing Kings of Leon covers now, and I realize it's late, heading into early morning hours, and suddenly she's here with a crowd of other people. It's Leah, Alice, Seth, Jake, Emily, Jasper, but it's also her, still in that fucking dress and it feels like years have passed since I first saw her wearing it. I turn my back to the door, curling back around my glass and pouring another drink because this was supposed to make me forget her. But now she's here and I'm suddenly remembering nights sharing beers with that girl, sneaking wine with that girl, and now she's a woman and she's ordering a gin and tonic and she hasn't noticed me yet.

I consider paying and leaving, but they're at the table closest to the door and I don't think that's going to happen without getting noticed, so I sit and I listen to the band crooning, now a melancholic ballad. I glance over and catch her smiling, her head leaning into Jasper and I feel sick.

Perhaps whiskey can cure an upset stomach.

And then she glances over at me like she knew I was there all along, and perhaps she did. Maybe she's as attuned to me as I still am to her, but I doubt it. I meet her eyes and she meets mine, and I notice she's holding her drink like a nun might hold a crucifix, warding off the devil. If she thinks I'm the devil, I'm inclined to agree with her. How far I've fallen from grace.

I turn away, facing the bar again, and I feel slightly unsteady. The feeling only multiplies when Bella seems to materialize next to me. I'm sure I look panicked, and I feel the room spinning as she leans on the bar next to me, her empty drink in her hand, a smile gracing her features. I want to tell her she needs to keep those smiles closer to the chest. Stop giving them so freely, girl.

Her eyes flit over my face, taking me in. I'm not sure how I look.

"Hi," she greets, and I almost forgot her voice, how it's all sweet and breathy and feminine. She's still soft-spoken to a fault, and I would strain to hear her voice if I wasn't craving it so intensely.

"Hi," I respond, gruff and ugly comparatively. I clear my throat before trying again. "Um, hi, Bella. How are you?"

She squints a little, still smiling, cocking her head to the side slightly. "I'm good. How are you doing?"

I think I've been staring at her too long, so I look down at my glass before meeting her eyes again.

"Um, I'm good, yeah. I just completed my residency, so just figuring where I want to, you know. Live, I guess."

I'm staring at her too hard. I know I am. I didn't realize that I had forgotten the way her lips stretched into a smile or pursed into a pout. I had forgotten about the cute little gap between her front teeth that she never really cared about fixing. What's really torturing me is her fucking smell - all bergamot and honeysuckle and cedarwood, feminine and musky and just Bella. The smell of her clouds my mind, and I can't help but think back to times when she would wrap herself around me, flesh and slick and skin and that smell.

"That's good," Bella says, interrupting the dangerous thoughts taking over my brain. "Thanks for coming to the wedding. I'm sure Dad and Sue appreciated it." The more she talks, the more memories assault me, of time with her and then the time without her, when I pretended to move on, knowing that the dissolution of our relationship was entirely my own fault, yet too prideful to go back to her and tell her I made a mistake. Seeing her in front of me just reminds me that she's a successful writer and author, dating an internationally renowned musician, and I'm just the guy with a fancy degree living with his parents. I'm realizing that she's moved on and grown, just as I wanted her to, while I became stagnant.

My realization doesn't stop longing from welling up within me. It doesn't stop me from wanting her way too much. I take a shot, my mind swirling and nod at Bella, trying not to look at her.

"Well, I should get back," she smiles awkwardly, making a little tsk sound, and then she's gone, out the door with her little party of people, with her boyfriend and I'm alone once again.

After several long moments of just staring at the empty whiskey bottles in front of me, Sam is back, asking if I'm okay. I ignore the question, pay my bill and leave, stumbling out of the bar. People are looking at me but I ignore them, ignore my car in the parking lot and I'm walking under the streetlights, mind hazy.

I don't know how long I walk, and I'm surprised to find that I'm in front of Bella's father's house. The light to the upstairs is on, and I don't see any cars in the driveway - not even the Audi. I stagger to the other side of the house, the one that I used to climb the tree and sneak into her room while the Chief was asleep, and there's her shadow in the room. I watch for a moment, looking for a flash of curly blonde hair, and when I find no one else with her, I make my way back to the front door and knock, leaning against the door jam. I think I might doze off at some point, because suddenly I'm stumbling into a warm body, and I realize the door has opened without me realizing it and I've collided into the person I'm trying to see.

"Bella?" I slur, grasping onto her for balance.

"Edward?" She sounds so confused, and I can see her eyebrows pull together. It's an inviting sight, and I watch with dismay as she disappears and it all fades to black.

A/N: Hello all you beautiful people! It's been a crazy few months. Since I last updated, I quit my job, moved to a new state, and been crazy busy. I haven't forgotten about any of my stories and I'm working on them whenever I can find the time. Huge shoutout to Fran who messaged me about this story tonight and reminded me that I had finished this next chapter. All my love! xx orionsnights