He adjust the tie for the 100th time that afternoon, knowing no matter how many times he did, it would still feel like it was choking him. Everything about today was choking him. He pulled on the sleeve of his black suit jacket, trying to remember the last time he had even worn a suit. His mother's funeral? No, it was prom. He wore one to prom, and she wore that champagne colored dress that fit her like a glove. It was that night that he knew, just knew, dancing with her under the flashing lights, seeing the way she smiled up at him. That girl had owned his heart, and if he was honesty, she probably owned it long before prom night.

Holding her during the last song, he started to lean in towards her, he was ready, and he wanted nothing more than to feel her pink lips against his own. The moment in his head had the rest of the world melting away, and just the two of them standing in their school gym, lips pressed together, her hands finding their way into hair at the nap of his neck. But right before he was able to seal his lips to hers the gym lights turned on, blinding everyone, and pulling groans from all those around them. They both smiled at each other, before their friends pulled them apart asking about the after party. The rest of the night he was unsure how to act, where to put his hands as they danced together at the after party. She seemed totally unaffected by their almost kiss, which only affected him more.

They had been friends for as long as he could remember, and not once had she ever given him any sign or thought that she wanted him or saw him as anything other than a friend. So prom came and went, and he didn't kiss her. Graduation happened in the same fashion, hugs, and kisses on the checks, but not what he wanted, what he hoped for, longed for really. Even as spring turned into summer, and they found themselves together, her small hand in his larger one talking about the future, under the stars, he never did make the move he should have.

"I want my grandad to preform my wedding." She whispered into the night's air. "Out here, in the county where it's peaceful and beautiful."

"Put a lot of thought into your wedding already princess?" he laughed, looking over at her. They were laying on the bed of his truck, looking up at the stars. They had been talking about college, what would come after college, so her comment wasn't totally out of the blue, only slightly off topic. But he'd been friends with her long enough to know her brain didn't always work the way others did.

"Ever since I was little and married you under the magnolia tree." Clarke smiled at him, her eyes shining like the stars above them. "It's all planned already."

They went their separate ways that fall, her off to the east coast, Harvard, pre-med, just like her mom. And he went to University of Washington. They promised each other Thanksgiving and Christmas, spring break, long weekends. College wasn't going to ruin their friendship, it wouldn't come between them is what she always said.

But it did. Busy schedules, bad weather, and new friendships pulled them apart. They did the best they could keeping each other up to date through text messages and FaceTime, and the new promise of summer vacation. Which is how life went for the next four years.

He got the invitation half way through spring semester his senior year. The large white envelope with his name in a fancy print. There wasn't a return address, so he was fully confused until he had opened it, reading it over and over again, feeling his heart crack every time he looked at the words. She was getting married. She had sent him a wedding invitation.

She had called him when he didn't respond to the invitation to her engagement party. And he knew she was looking for an RSVP. He had stared at his phone for a long time before sending it to voicemail. He couldn't. He knew that if he heard her voice it would hurt even more, and he didn't want to put that on her either. So instead of being an adult and talking to her, he typed out a quick text message, congratulating her and apologizing, saying he wouldn't be back in town until right before the wedding.

Once he had gotten back home it had taken him days to stop by her house. Her dad was outside on the porch, book in hand, sweet tea on the table beside him.

"Bellamy Blake." He greeted him as he came up the stairs. "Congratulations are in order." He stood up and hugged the boy before motioning for him to sit down in the other chair. "How's it feel to have your undergrad completed?"

"Thank you sir, it's great to be done, and on time." Bellamy nodded. "And I guess I should congratulate you as well. I got the invitation." He scratched the back of his neck, feeling uncomfortable.

Bellamy could see the way Jake Griffin's face changed for a brief second, and how he looked off into the distance. "The wedding." He had a sad smile on his face nodding his head. "You know Clarke, she's got some master plan to live by, a time table for everything. I had hoped college would help her relax, do away with her mater plan."

Bellamy didn't know what to say. He knew about Clarke's master plan to an extent. He had found her planner back in high school and had laughed it off at the time. Now he wished he had taken it a little more seriously. But she had just taken her planner back, tapped him on the nose and told him her logic behind it. He laughed, and they never spoke about her planner again.

But there he was, just a few weeks later, making his way down the worn dirt path towards the ceremony, black suit and all, flask tucked safe inside pocket and filled. He could see groups of people standing around tall tables, glasses in hand, and the overwhelming smell of flowers, and a large white tent in the back, which he assumed held the bridal party.

He stopped in a line of guests, waiting to sign the guest book, picking up a framed engagement picture to study it. She smiled up at the man in the photo, her eyes shining. She looked happy, and it broke his heart a little more. He knew that smile, he remembered that smile being directed at him so many times over the years. Putting the photo back down on the table he bypassed the guest book. He couldn't sign it. He wasn't sure he could make it through, now that he was here.

Looking around he spotted a familiar group of people and made his way towards them, nodding in greeting as he joined their circle.

"Hey man." Nathan Miller nodded in greeting when Bellamy joined them.

"Bellamy! Wasn't this your guys spot? Flashbacks, am I right?" Jasper Jordan asked laughing, as Bellamy took in a group of people he knew from high school. The wedding wasn't big, she never wanted a big wedding, friends and family only, smaller was better.

"Jasper!" Octavia hit him hard in the center of the chest, others in the group groaning. "Hey big brother." She moved to hug him, her voice softer, full of what Bellamy knew as sympathy.

"Hey." He whispered giving her a quick squeeze.

"Good to see you again man." Monty Green gave him a quick smile and wave.

They had all been friends in high school, Arcadia was a small town, surrounded by even more small towns, and everyone knew everyone. So it wasn't a surprise that a wedding would be like a small reunion at the same time.

"Have you seen her yet?" Octavia asked.

"No, I couldn't make it back for the engagement party, interviews." He shrugged looking around, trying to sound casual about the whole thing. It all screamed Clarke, simple, country, perfect. He knew she didn't want to spend a lot of money, she never needed a lot to be happy. She liked things simple, easy, it's what he loved about her.

"It was cheesy, they had gold balloons." Harper shrugged, while Octavia offered him a sad smile. "The photos turned out nice, though." Harper was never one to end anything on a negative note.

He listened as the others talked about the party, the groom, Clarke. Harper and Octavia had seen her dress. It all tugged at his heart in ways he never expected. He could feel the tears burn his dry eyes, and his fingers itched to pull out his flask. But he nodded along with everyone, not letting on at how much he was hurting.

"We should find seats." Octavia finally said as others started to make their way towards the rows of chairs.

His plan was to sit in the very back, as hidden as he could be, and pray he made it through the ceremony without crying, or protesting. He knew that if he wanted to get his feelings off his chest, he could go find her right now. But he couldn't do that to her, knowing how much time she had put into planning this, how happy she looked in the pictures.

"Bell, you coming?" his sister asked as everyone else started to make their way towards the chairs, and he still stood rooted in the same spot, eyes locked on the white tent not far from them. When he finally looked over at his sister, her smile said it all. She understood. There weren't many secrets between the Blake siblings.

He gave her a tight smile before he turned around to leave. Who was he kidding? He couldn't sit there and watch her marry someone else. He knew he couldn't go back the same way he came, the worn dirt trail lead past the Griffins and others he couldn't face right now. Luckily Jasper had been right, this had been their spot, so he knew that if he went down a quarter of a mile towards the creek, he'd able to loop back to the makeshift parking lot, without having to see any of the other wedding guests, let alone Abby and Jake Griffin. It lead him past the large white tent, and past the pallet built bar. He heard someone calling his name, but he couldn't turn around, the tears stinging his eyes already, his flask in one hand, and the other unscrewing the top. The drink burned his throat, but it didn't stop him from taking another shot of the amber liquid.

She wanted to get married, but she didn't want to marry him. It was the heart breaking truth. He had waited to long, and there was nothing he could do about it