A/N: Recently, I randomly decided, 'what if I go and write a ficlet centered around a trans character?' So here I am, having written this over the course of a few days, with loads of not-sleeping, listening to hip-hop, and consulting people for sensitivity reading in the middle of the night. Big thanks to my trans masc friend whom I pestered with questions at ungodly hours to get this as accurate as possible. You know who you are and you're great.

I'll have to give a heads-up here, or rather, two heads-ups. First, for all my trans peeps: there is shitty cis takes in this fic. I briefly considered just writing a utopian fic with a perfect happy world, but decided to go for some h/c with uneducated cis characters in it. I tried to keep is not-explicit and least harmful as possible, to demonstrate well-meaning but uninformed cis people, but be aware that there are bad cis takes stated by characters in this fic.

Another word of advice for cis readers: if you're unfamiliar with topics regarding trans issues, don't understand terms used or views stated in this fic: please do ask. I highly would like to encourage you to ask away in the comments, I will do my best to answer any questions asked in good faith or help solve misconceptions or misunderstandings to contribute to a culture of educated and respectful behaviour. I will also include a little glossary about queer terms used in this fic in the notes at the end.

Further, I would like to mention a list of potentially sensitive or triggering topics, which are as follows (feel free to mention topics you would like me to add): food, transmisia, deadnaming and misgendering, homelessness, rejection and emotional violence through family, mentioned or implied minor violence.

the fuck who thought it was a good idea to only staff one register at rush hour like what the fuck
— fuckenhades sent 2:19 PM, 29 June 2014

Social media really was funny, Percy thought. Ten months ago, he never would have thought that texting a grumpy punk online, talking about music and stuff, would land him a date with said punk. Especially after having been friends for almost a year without ever having met. Yet here he was, letting his eyes wander over the street across the metro station, looking out for ' fuckenhades from online' aka 'Nico' aka 'your boyfriend', according to his roommate Thalia, annoying dork she was.

pjacksonnyc hey, didn't know you're into that kinda music too lol you don't really look like it
— fuckenhades sent 11:38 PM, 14 October 2014

He most certainly wasn't his boyfriend, he would always insist, but she'd just give him that smug grin and tell him to 'just ask him out already'. Which he had done. Kinda. In a way. Which had resulted in him waiting for his not-at-least-not-yet-boyfriend and being not at all nervous, except that he was totally nervous.

'Hey', the voice made him jump and as he turned around he found himself face to face with about 5'5" of human, covered in leather, chains, spikes, studs and patches, complemented by sneakers and a multi-coloured buzz cut. 'You're Percy, right?'

'Uh, yes', he stuttered. 'Nico?'

The other guy nodded. 'Uh-huh. Ehhh, hi, I guess?'

A grin slowly spread across Percy's face and he opened his arms before remembering his friend's aversion to touch. 'Right. Sorry. Can I hug you, or...'

'Course you can', Nico replied, and with that, the ice was broken and Percy found himself in a surprisingly tight hug, awkwardly wrapping his arms around the colourful-haired man and trying to find a position to rest his head in.

fuckenhades so uhh not to be odd, but I think i kinda like you?
— pjacksonnyc sent 9:05 PM, 3 April 2015

They eventually pulled apart after maybe a minute. 'So, uh', Percy broke the silence, 'you wanna go somewhere?' He blushed, 'grab a coffee or something.'

'Yeah sure!', Nico answered. 'You uhh wanna pick a place, or—'

'Err, not really?', Percy said. 'I mean, you can decide if that's ok.' He gave an embarrassed grin. 'Sorry, kinda nervous. I'm not usually this awkward.'

'It's ok, me too', the punk admitted. 'How does burgers sound?' He pulled a grimace, 'the real stuff, not this fast-food stuff.'

'Sounds good', Percy replied, slowly regaining his composure.

And promptly lost it again when his most-certainly-not-boyfriend simply grabbed his hand and started leading the way, quite literally. After a moment, Percy fell in step with, and if he enjoyed holding the other man's hand, he didn't let it show.

Except for, you know, a huge smile and noticeable blush on his face.

fuckenhades pjacksonnyc get a room you two lol
— prettyflyforaguy sent 11:23 AM, 5 April 2015

After a while, Nico seemed to notice he was still holding Percy's hand, blushing and quickly letting go of it, burying his hand in the pocket of his jeans instead. Percy instinctively reached for it before pulling back and blushing himself, too.

'Sorry', the punk mumbled. 'Didn't wanna make it weird.'

'No it's ok!', Percy exclaimed. 'I liked it, actually.'

'Oh?', Nico perked up again, removing his hand from his pocket again and slowly reaching out for Percy, who happily met his hand to hold it again.

'You're kinda smaller than I expected', Percy chuckled, trying to overplay the awkward silence.

'Wow, thanks for noticing', Nico grumbled, 'you're only the five thousandth person to say that today, you know.' He grimaced. 'You know, you look every bit as dorky as I imagined', he teased back.

'Aw shush', Percy blushed.

fuckenhades you said you were gonna be in the area so idk wanna hang out?
— pjacksonnyc sent 3:11 PM, 19 April 2015

Over an hour later, they emerged from a burger place downtown, much less awkward and excitedly talking. Once they'd gotten used to each other, it was much the same as it had been for the past months, Percy thought. Nico was just as adorkably grumpy as he had sounded online. His train of thought was interrupted, however, when Nico's phone rang.

'Sí', Nico greeted. His expression turned into a frustrated grimace as the other person spoke. 'Dici sul serio? Deve essere proprio ora? E ti avevo detto di non chiamarmi cosi.' He listened a little longer, then angrily hung up a few moments later.

'Sorry, I gotta go', he apologised. 'Family stuff.' Upon seeing Percy's disappointed face, he added, 'I can drop you off at your place though if you want to?'

new york here i come lol haven't been there in ages how you doing you weird fuck of a city?
— fuckenhades sent 9:58 AM, 26 April 2015

Nico's car looked and smelled exactly like one would imagine going by his looks: a black 2004 Volkswagen, smelling of cigarette smoke, CDs scattered throughout the whole car, and an engine that sounded like it was on the verge of a heart attack.

'Don't judge', Nico grinned, having noticed Percy's very much judgemental look. 'Bought her for 500 and she's still up and running', he patted the hood, 'I used to sleep in this thing sometimes, she's my baby.'

'Whoa wait, you slept in here?', Percy exclaimed.

Nico gave him an unimpressed look. 'I'm small, it fit.'

'I mean I can see that you're tiny but still—'

'Nevermind', Nico interrupted him. 'Let's get you home.' There was a hint of anger underneath his voice.

After a moment of hesitation, Percy got into the car and strapped in. His companion started the engine, casually picked a CD and slid it into the stereo. Percy couldn't tell what exactly it was, but it was loud, aggressive, and more than suitably loud to make any conversation impossible. They drove for a while, silent, and Percy tried to read the expression below the wildly dyed hair, unsuccessfully.

About as rough as the music was Nico's driving, and more than once, Percy was tempted to comment on it, when the younger man ignored a traffic light or passed another car before swerving back into the lane.

And, as if the day couldn't get any worse, Percy wasn't the only one to notice Nico's attitude. Before too long, a police cruiser had overtaken them, signalling for the car to slow down and pull over.

'Fucking b—insopportabili figli di puttana! Vaffanculo!', Nico spat, hitting the steering wheel as the car came to a halt before rolling down the window.

The officer walking up to the driver's side didn't seem to be in a good mood either, harshly lecturing the Italian on the dangers of reckless driving before demanding his license and papers.

'Andrea Maria di Angelo?' He glanced at Nico. 'That your sister's license or what?' He eyed them suspiciously. 'Get out. You', he gestured towards Percy, 'too.' A second and third officer had exited the cruiser and were approaching, effectively trapping them between the cars.

'No, that's my ID', Nico argued, and proceeded to argue with the officers, but Percy stopped listening, face screwed up in confusion, trying to make sense of the situation while next to him, his friend kept discussing and one of the policemen radioed the details of his ID to his colleagues. The whole thing seemed way too surreal, why would Nico, or whatever his name was, lie about his name? Because that seemed to be the one thing that was clear, that one of these two names was a lie, right?

pjacksonnyc we didn't do introductions, right? name's nico, i guess it's kinda captain obvious yours is percy
— fuckenhades sent 2:37 AM, 17 October 2014

'Alright, Mrs di Angelo', the discussion seemed to have ended and one of the officers handed Nico's license back to him, 'you will receive a ticket for reckless driving and be summoned for a court date during the next two weeks.' The patrol left and the NYPD cruiser sped off again, leaving the two alone.

'Let's go', Nico finally said, his voice hoarse and yet seemingly an octave higher than usual. He didn't wait for Percy to answer before retreating into the car and revving up the engine.

'So, uh, what was that—', Percy tried to inquire.

'Just leave it, alright?', Nico snapped, shifting gear much more brutally than necessary as he accelerated the Volkswagen back into traffic. 'Forget about it, basta.' The rest of the drive, both of them remained silent.

fuck this shit
— fuckenhades sent 5:41 PM, 26 April 2015

'Hey, it's Nico.'

Percy's phone had rang just when he was about to go to bed, after an exhausting Monday no less, and he was so not ready to talk to anyone and almost declined the call.

'Uhm. Hi.'

'I wanted to apologise for bitching at you the other day, and… I can explain if you want to.'

He had not been expecting that.

'How do you know my number?', was the first thing that came to his mind, and he blurted it out without thinking.

'Eh yeah, about that… I kinda cried on my buddy Jason's shoulder about yesterday and he said, funny, my sister's roomie had a shitty date too, and long story short apparently his sister is your roommate Thalia, so I texted her and she gave me your number.' He stifled a half-laugh. 'Lovely lady, that one.'

Against his will, Percy had to grin before turning serious again. 'So. Yesterday.' He hesitated. 'Your name… it isn't Nico?'

He could hear the other man suck in a sharp breath through the phone. 'It's… complicated.' He waited for a second before continuing. 'Legally, no, it isn't, if that's what you're asking. You heard my name, as much as I wish you didn't. But it is my name.' He hesitated again. 'How much do you know about—ah fuck how do I phrase this—ok, basically?'

'I'm trans.'

'Or transgender', he continued, 'if that word makes more sense to you.'

Percy's head was spinning. 'Wait so you're saying, you were bor—'

'No', Nico interrupted him. 'Don't say it. I wasn't "born a girl", I never was a girl, that stuff is fucking hurtful, ok?'

He sighed. 'Cis people—that means "not trans", by the way"—have lots of names to call people like me and most of them are so they don't have to give up their bullshitty ideas about what makes men and women…', he could be heard taking a deep breath, 'basically, what I was going to explain, stuff like legally changing your name and stuff, it's complicated. You need doctor's letters, fees, paperwork with social security, it's one big clusterfuck of forms and applications to fill out.'

'So', Percy said, 'you were', he scrambled for words,

'Wrongly assigned a girl at birth', Nico helpfully supplied,

'yes, thanks, ok and you're trying to change your name and all?', Percy tried to make sense of it. 'But like, I heard you, you don't sound like a girl, how—wait, is that why you got pissed when I commented on your height?'

'Duh', Nico remarked drily. 'I've been on testosterone therapy for almost one and a half years now, I better not sound like a girl. But yeah, the height thing was kinda shitty, it's not like I have enough dysphoria about that anyway.' After a second, he added, 'that's what people usually call feeling-in-the-wrong-body, it's a bit more complicated but basically that.'

'Oh. Sorry, I guess.' Percy was still struggling with the plenty of new information. 'I didn't know.'

'Now you know', Nico answered.

'Yeah', Percy said. 'I still don't get why you were so angry with me? I mean, you could've just explained? I dunno, I thought I'd pissed you off or something.' He furrowed his brows. 'Or did I?'

Nico sighed. 'Percy… most people don't exactly react positively when they learn someone's trans. Especially not if it's someone they're… interested in. I've come to expect rejection and violence, not acceptance. I pretty much thought I'd fucked up with you when I saw your face as that guy read out my name.' Percy couldn't see it, but he could hear the sneer on Nico's face as the younger man spoke next. 'I mean, look at my family. My step-mother doesn't talk to me, my father keeps talking about how he "lost his daughter" and my sister is always MIA with her friends because she can't stand him and me in the same room.'

'Oh.'

'Anyway, that's what I called you to explain for', Nico answered. 'By the way, your friend Thalia said you weren't gonna react badly, so I guess you have her to thank for me calling in the first place. She still threatened to completely kick your ass if you would, though.'

'Gee, thanks', Percy remarked. 'But yeah, sounds like her.'

'So, since you're apparently not freaked out by me now', Nico sounded tense again suddenly, 'how do you feel about giving this whole meeting up and hanging out thing a second shot? Now that that's out of the way? Plus, Thalia said she'd like to meet, and I quote, "the boyfriend Perce insists he doesn't have."'

'Yeah', Percy grinned relieved. 'Sounds good.'

A/N: So! If you've made it this far, you hopefully read all of this fic, and I would be incredibly grateful if you could leave a comment to tell me how you liked it. Fellow queer people, especially trans masc people, please feel free to point out anything you thought inaccurate or harmful representation and I'll do my best to resolve the matter.

As promised, here's a little glossary on queer terms used in this fic:

trans

trans, transgender (outdated term, which is often considered harmful due to its conflation of gender identity and sexuality: transsexual) describes anyone who's gender identity does not fully match the one they were assigned at birth. a person who was assigned a girl at birth but is actually a boy is just as trans as a person who was assigned a boy at birth but is nonbinary, for instance. the word is an umbrella term covering several identities, such as trans, nonbinary, agender and more. it is derived from latin, indicating a process of change.

cis

the opposite is cis or cisgender: the person's gender identity matches the one they were assigned at birth, which is true for most people. you, reading this, were almost certainly assigned male or female at birth, and if you are sure this is correct, you are cis. it is rooted in latin and literally means "on this side".

dysphoria

this is what is commonly referred to as "born in the wrong body" or the likes (a term which is controversial itself). it covers different feelings of discomfort, for instance with one's body (hair, genitals, shape, voice), the name one is addressed with, the social role of being perceived as a man or woman, and more. it is not a requirement for being trans, but many trans people experience it.

deadname

the term deadname refers to the name one was given at birth or is commonly addressed with that is associated with one's wrongfully assigned gender. in the case of this fic, nico is addressed by the officer using his deadname, as he has not yet been able to legally change his name. use of a trans person's deadname is usually a cause of dysphoria for many trans people and it should, if possible, never be used.

born as / used to be

it is common among cis people to refer to trans person as being "born as a girl / boy", "used to be a girl / boy" or the likes. this, too, is considered a very harmful phrasing, as it implies that we actually were our wrong gender and have "become" our true gender. it is often preferred to say "was assigned male / female at birth", as it correctly states that, without us having had any say in it, our presumed gender was decided at birth - in other words, we popped out of the womb and the doc was like "i spy with my little eye a pee-wee, 'tis a boy".

Please don't hesitate to ask any questions in the comments below! I will happily answer good-faith questions and help you understand trans related topics or link you further reading!