It's August somewhere, so we're starting with a bang. And so is Hermione.

When I wrote Firewhiskey Fantasies, I knew I would eventually write another triad with Draco/Hermione/Theo. I was supposed to be working on my Kinktober challenge today, which was a threesome, but I ended up writing this instead. (Because I'm scared to write m/m smut, but I'm working my way up!) I hope you won't mind.

Notes: As for setting, and place, this is a no Voldemort AU where Hermione and Theo are Heads.

Warnings: Please mind that this is explicit sexual content. If that's not your sort of thing, I completely understand, but be sure to turn back now!

Frumpologist will forever be one of my very best fandom friends for encouraging this, and assuring me it was good enough to post!

Grammarly was my beta, but I've removed all embarrassing typos...I think. Like the one where one of the boys punched Hermione's nipple instead of pinching it.

Whenever Slytherin won a quidditch match, they always threw a party. Whether it was a match against Hufflepuff, who they said was barely any competition at all, or if it was Ravenclaw, who still hadn't completely forgiven Cho Chang for costing them the match, there was always a party.

But when it was the long awaited match between Slytherin and Gryffindor, and the Slytherins won, things tended to get out of hand.

Strictly speaking, Hermione shouldn't have been patrolling the halls that night with the Head Boy. Nott was a Slytherin—not on the team, but still—but for some reason, he hardly went to the massive celebrations they threw. It was odd, but no one beyond her questioned it.

Hermione was unable to piece together a good reason for why he wouldn't be celebrating with his housemates in the dungeons. He was charming, charismatic—she had noticed it through his quiet demeanor—and too bloody good looking. So why was he walking down the corridor at her side when she knew full well he could be shagging any girl in his house?

"Has anyone ever told you that you have a staring problem?" He asked her, glancing down the corridor on their right side where they heard a shuffling, and muffled giggling. "We should see who that is hiding in the broom closet." Theo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Hermione followed him, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her jeans as she did so. "I was just trying to figure out why you weren't in the dungeons." She said softly, scowling when he shoved a hand in her face to motion for her to be quiet.

He snorted, though he still managed to be quiet. "Oh, so like every other time there's a party, and you ask me the same question?"

"You never give an answer," Hermione mumbled, turning her nose up at him. "I'm naturally curious."

He rolled his eyes at her before grabbing the door handle and wrenching it open. Hermione coughed, her eyes widening as they took in the sight of Luna Lovegood, and a girl from Ravenclaw that Hermione didn't think she recognized. "Well then," Hermione drawled as Luna reached out and pulled the door shut, exposing her breasts as the other girl slid down her body, "technically it's not after curfew yet. Could cut them a little slack."

He stared at her. "You're asking me to cut someone slack?"

"Stranger things have happened." She shot back, crossing her arms. "It's Luna, and if you remember, she helped you catch the two boys from Gryffindor that were playing pranks in the middle of the night. It's not as if you've never done something like..that." She laughed, waving to the now closed door. "Come on, we should keep going."

It was as they neared the kitchen, only having caught a first year trying to sneak down to the dungeons, that he cleared his throat. "I don't like to go," Nott told her as they passed a window.

"Why not? I would think you'd enjoy all of the attention."

"The Slytherin girls are some of the most vapid creatures I've ever met, and it's just terribly boring. Everyone is pissed—they have no idea what's going on." He told her quietly. "I went to a few earlier this year. If you recall, I could hardly get Pansy Parkinson to leave me alone for a few weeks."

She laughed, a high pitched sound that had him whipping his head around to get a look at her. "I do remember how your relationship was short lived. Tell me, did you bribe Malfoy to distract her with that spontaneous date to Hogsmeade?"

The small curve of his lips was the closest to a smile that she'd ever get, and it sent her heart out of rhythm for a moment. "I may have. Everyone knows she fancied Malfoy first."

Hermione nodded. "You mean she fancied the Malfoy fortune, all of those vaults filled with galleons, and it still couldn't buy anything to make her tolerable." Hermione didn't mention that the Nott vaults must be massive as well, but in comparison, Parkinson had latched onto something bigger. Giggling to herself, she moved past him.

"You're in an unusually good mood this evening." He muttered.

She shrugged, "I don't care much for quidditch, so watching you pummel Gryffindor didn't hurt my pride at all. Harry and Ron on the other hand.." she trailed off. Opening her mouth to say something—Hermione usually wasn't' so talkative around her fellow head—she was cut off by a loud noise coming from the kitchens.

Accompanied by several voices shouting in the opposite direction.

Wide eyed, she told him to go toward the yelling. "It's fine, Nott. Unless you're worried to go alone?" Hermione smirked. "If I finish up first, I'll come find you."

He gave a curt nod and turned away from her.

The Hogwarts kitchens took up a massive space in the castle. Peeking around, her fingers tight around her wand, Hermione didn't see any house elves. Normally they would be bustling about, but now there was nothing at all. Nothing but silence—

Bang.

Hermione jumped, slowly making her way into the room. "Who's there?" She called, looking from side to side. "If you don't come out right now, you'll be in detention for a month!" She warned sternly.

When a pan fell to the floor behind her, she let out a shriek that Nott was sure to have heard, and her heart lurched into her throat. Spinning around, and her wand landing at the base of someone's throat, she looked up to see Malfoy. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Hermione snapped. "You nearly gave me a heart attack, sneaking about like that! Is anyone with you?"

His blond hair was tousled as if fingers had been run through it, and his lips were bruised. Rolling her eyes, she realized it was clear what he had been doing in the dungeons. "Granger," he rasped, bringing a bottle of Ogden's finest to his mouth. He gripped the neck of the bottle tightly, his eyes closing as he took a long drink. "Try it." Malfoy urged her, holding the bottle of amber coloured liquid out to her.

She stared at him in disbelief. "Why would I want to do that?" Hermione asked, but she took the heavy bottle into her hands nonetheless. "Why were you even down here?"

Malfoy smirked, pinning her to the counter with his body. "Because," he murmured, leaning down to whisper in her ear, his hot breath fanning across the shell of her ear, "if you do, I'll tell you something you would find very interesting about the Head Boy."

Slightly open mouthed, she peered up at him. "What would I care about anything that has to do with him? He's hardly my friend."

Snorting, Malfoy shook his head. "Trust me on this one, princess, you'd love to hear this. Do you think we haven't noticed the way you look at him, or me?"

Her mouth went dry. "I'm not sure what you're talking about." Hermione muttered, raising the bottle to her lips out of frustration rather than anything else. Firewhiskey tasted awful, and it burned going down her throat, and the pit of her stomach felt incredibly warm. "Alright, Malfoy, let's hear it then."

"I overheard you asking why he never goes to the Slytherin parties." His hands dropped to her waist, and he looked up at her for her to object as he rubbed slow circles into her hips. "There's a reason, but he's not going to tell you."

"Get on with it." She grumbled, her interest piqued even though she didn't want to admit it.

With that damned smirk still on his face, Malfoy bent down until his lips were inches from hers. "He fancies you, Granger, but he won't admit it. Haven't you ever noticed how it's always you two patrolling when everyone is in the dungeons?"

Her laugh was loud, meeting with the pans over their heads and echoing. "Okay, that was what you had to tell me? This was a colossal waste of my time." She shook her head, moving to step away from him.

"He won't tell you because we made a deal." He murmured, and she froze, staring up at him. "You see, we both realized it at the same time, that we had started to look at you differently."

"I'm sorry, what did you just say to me?" She stumbled over her words, her hands having settled on his forearms without her thinking at all. "I must have misunderstood because—"

He kissed her, hands finding her hips. His lips were soft against hers, his grip on her waist tightening as he lifted her onto the counter. "I assure you, you heard correctly, Granger. I realized I wanted you last year, and I'm convinced you wear these tight fitting muggle pants just to kill me."

She gasped under him, sliding her arms around his neck. "It was unconsciously done,"

"That is too big of a word for right now, and would you please stop talking?" He groaned, leaning into her, threading his fingers into her hair while he pulled her head back. "Fucking Gods, make that sound again." He rasped when she whimpered as his semi-hard cock was pressed against the apex of her thighs.

They had been too busy to notice the door opening, or someone walking toward them. Until a loud voice had her pulling away. "What the fuck is going on here?" Theo growled. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were darker than she thought possible.

It must have been one of the only times she'd ever seen him angry.

Tilting her head to the side, Hermione glanced at Malfoy to explain.

"You're out of breath, mate." was all Malfoy said, a grin curving his lips. "What were you doing?"

"What was I doing?" Theo repeated in a snarl, and she knew he must have been livid. "Well, I was breaking up an impromptu duel between Blaise Zabini and Harry Potter while the Head Girl was off having a snogging session."

While she didn't think she looked any different than normal, Theo took one look at her before growling, "You told her, didn't you?"

"He did." Hermione said quietly, "and I'm not sure why you never just told me. You strike me as the confident type."

He rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose again as he did anytime she exasperated him. It was a trait she couldn't help but notice.

"Because," Malfoy interrupted, "he worried about how it would strain our friendship if you were forced to choose, and we were battling for your affections."

Hermione blinked several times before she giggled. "Why did you ever assume that I would only choose just one?"

Theo's head snapped up for the second time that night as he stared at her in a state of disbelief. "What?"

"Why," she began even slower, "did you think that I would only choose one? Draco said it himself, he knows how I've looked at both of you, so why in Merlin's name would I not want you both?"

Draco appeared to be at a loss. "Both of us?" He asked her.

She smiled. "Yes, would you like me to tell you how that would work? It's fairly simple. The question, I suppose, is if the two of you could share." Hermione smirked to herself, dragging her fingernail along the inside of Draco's wrist. "Theo? What do you think?"

"Head dorm, now." He bit out, storming forward to grab her by her hair, and kissed her rougher than Malfoy had. As his tongue swept into the cavern of her mouth, her back was pressed to Draco's chest.

As Draco bit down at the place where her shoulder met her neck, she mewled in pleasure.

Hermione curled up on the couch, tucking her legs beneath her. "So—" she began, eyes darting between both boys. "I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my head around this."

Draco wore a shite eating grin. He plopped down on the space beside her, sliding an arm around her shoulders. "I don't think it's so hard to understand." Draco twisted a piece of her hair around his finger, tugging lightly. "Theo wants you, I want you." His lips skimmed the shell of her ear. "And you seem to want us."

She did.

Fuck, she did.

Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat, peeking out from under her lashes. Theo sat across from them, his tie undone at his throat as he relaxed against the sofa. "I'm not sure how this will work."

Theo snorted. He leaned forward, the sleeves of his oxford rolled up to his elbows, and the top buttons were undone. "Would you like for me to explain the logistics?"

Her eyes narrowed. Did he always have to be so fucking sarcastic? Hermione leaned into Draco, grinning smugly when Theo's eyes darkened. "I understand the logistics, Nott."

Draco's hand slid up the inside of her thigh, his fingers nudging her pleated skirt. He leaned down, pressing his lips to her neck before whispering, " Do you, sweetheart?"

She shuddered as Draco levelled her with a stare. "Yes."

"Why don't you tell us about it then?" Theo's voice was soft, but she would have been a fool to believe he wasn't leading her into his version of a trap. "No words? And here I thought you were so bright."

Her head was spinning. Hermione snatched the bottle of firewhisky from Draco's hand, lifting it to her lips, and swallowing a generous amount. Before she could lose her nerve, she stood and crossed the space between her and Theo.

Hermione crawled into his lap, taking another drink as booze rolled down her chin. There was a heavy thud as she set it down on the table. "How do you want me?" She whispered, unbuttoning his shirt. "You want to question me on the logistics, but… I think I'd like to know what you want."

Theo held her hips, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip. "It's a loaded question, Granger. We could be here all night with me saying all the things I want to do to you."

A smirk spread across her face as she ground herself down on him. "You're avoiding the question. Careful, or I might think you didn't want this. It'd be a shame, but I'm sure Malfoy will have no problem making me forget my disappointment."

Malfoy barked a laugh behind her. "Of course I would."

The man holding her yanked her forward, his lips crashing to hers while he held her in place. Theo kissed her roughly, nipping her bottom lip while his hands slid up her sides before he cupped her breasts through her shirt. "I want to fuck you," he murmured. "I want to bury my cock in your cunt while I watch you fall apart and lose control."

Hermione whimpered.

She thought Malfoy groaned.

"I want to lick every inch of you so you're shaking by the time I lick your cunt, flicking my tongue over your clit until you fucking scream." Theo's lips moved from hers, skimming her jaw as they moved down her throat. "I've thought about it before but never expected this to happen. Now that it has…"

His fingers slid below her skirt, and he rubbed her clit through the cotton knickers she wore. "Oh, God," Hermione moaned, her head falling forward to his shoulder. "Fuck!"

"I want to watch my best friend fuck you," Theo whispered softly against her skin, "while my cock is in your throat."

She nodded.

Fuck, she'd never—

"Yes," Hermione gasped. "God, yes."

His free hand slid over the swell of her arse, gently cupping the flesh there before swatted her. "Speaking of Draco, you just left him all alone, sweetheart. That's not fair, is it?"

She shook her head, half out of her mind and it had nothing to do with the booze.

He flipped her skirt up, baring her to Draco, and she heard him stand from the couch. Theo turned her in his lap, an impressive move when she was practically dead weight.

Hermione stared at Draco, dizzy.

She wasn't sure who grabbed who first, but she knew that after Draco's finger knotted in her hair, Theo had vanished her knickers.

Draco took a seat at the far end of the couch, resting her back to his chest while tossing her shirt to the floor. "You're so goddamn pretty. It's a fucking crime what you're hiding under your robes." He unclasped her bra, leaving it draped over the back of the sofa.

She wiggled in the space between his legs, lips parting when he cupped her breasts.

Theo watched her intently, his hands sliding up her calves and then her thighs. "Trust me?" He rasped.

"Yes."

Theo pushed her legs apart, and she felt the sudden urge to hide, but it dissipated as she watched him. "So much better than I imagined." And he said it so softly that she wasn't sure she had heard it at all.

His fingers slid against her folds, and she braced herself against Draco, lost between both of their touches.

Draco pinched her nipple, whispering how pretty she looked with Theo between her thighs. Draco blew on the shell of her ear before nipping it, and murmured, "Watch him."

While she thought Theo's touch had started as experimental, and tentative, they didn't stay that way. He bent his head down, dark locks falling into his face, and Hermione had a split second to realize just what he was going to do.

The first stroke of his tongue made her whimper. It was a first for her—while she was no virgin, no one had taken the time, and she'd been nervous to ask—and Merlin if it didn't make her squirm right away. Hermione moaned, threading her fingers through his hair.

"Oh, my god." She moaned, scooting down and pressing her cunt closer to him.

He slid an arm around the top of her thigh as her legs almost squeezed shut, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Draco cupped her chin, bringing her lips to his, and within seconds—it felt like forever—her legs squeezed shut around Theo's head.

A loud shriek tore free of her. "Theo!" Her nails scraped his scalp, and she pulled him to her feverishly. Sandwiched between the two of them, she kissed him frantically, wrapping her legs around him.

She tasted herself on him, felt his groan vibrate through her.

"You taste sublime," he murmured, sinking his fingers into her cunt before smearing then across Draco's lips.

Draco sucked the digit into his mouth, and she watched, enthralled.

"Want you," Hermione bit out. "Want you both."

One of them chuckled, but she wasn't in much of a mind to know which one.

"I'm not sure you'll be able to—" Theo began, and she cut him off with a searing kiss that he returned enthusiastically until her toes curled. "—significant amount of preparation—"

"I know," Hermione growled. "And you're assuming I've never done that, and you're incredibly fucking wrong." It didn't matter that it had been on her own, just toying with her own body in the confines of her bedroom since her parents were gone so often.

Theo and Draco would ask eventually, but for the moment, they only looked like they wanted to desperately fuck her.

"Yeah?" Draco nuzzled her neck.

She nodded.

Theo said that they should probably move to a bed, smirking when she muttered that she couldn't bloody walk, and he picked her up with little effort. He kicked open the door of his bedroom, depositing her onto the silk sheets.

She climbed to her knees, tilting her head to the side with a coy smile.

Theo was on her first, wedging her legs apart with his knee. "You're full of surprises."

Draco moved behind her, the bed sipping beneath his weight while he pressed kisses down her spine.

A weak laugh fell away from her as she whispered, "I am. Think of all the time we would have had if you'd just told me."

With murmured lubrication spells, Draco pressed a finger to the right ring of her arse, gently easing its way into her. "Relax," he coaxed her, nipping her shoulder. "I'll go slow."

She collapsed against Theo, bracing her palms against his broad chest while he kissed her forehead. "Good girl," Theo groaned, sinking two fingers into her slick folds, the heel of his hand rubbing against her clit. "Fuck, you're perfect."

Her hair was tangled, a complete mess as she shook her head. Hermione unzipped his trousers, taking his cock into her hand and slowly stroking. "Please," she whispered.

Theo chuckled. "Just a little more,"

She whimpered and pushed her arse against Draco, eventually taking two fingers as they slowly stretched her, and he took careful time before moving any farther.

"Wrap your arms around Theo's neck." Draco murmured. He entered her slowly, and her eyes watered at the start, the uncomfortable pain that laced through her as she took inch by inch of him.

Filling her completely, she couldn't breathe. "Oh, God " Hermione whined, rocking her hips backwards. "Please move."

Theo took each of her nipples into his mouth, sucking until she scratched her nails down his back. He rubbed her clit as she adjusted to Draco, his pace slowly increasing with each thrust.

"Please, Theo, please," She begged. "I need it, need you—need you both—"

He gripped her hips, fingers covering Draco's where he held her in place and slid into her with a slow thrust.

His back would be marred by her nails come morning.

"Holy fuck," he breathed. "Sweet Fucking Circle, you're tight."

She leaned backwards, kissing Draco eagerly while being split open by the two of them. "Yes," she moaned, the sound breaking off into a scream as Theo withdrew and slammed into her.

His breath was hot against her chest as he worshipped a path between her breasts. "You take both of us so well." Theo groaned. "God, you feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock. Draco, how does she feel?"

"Tight," He rasped. "Mine."

Theo agreed.

And when his fingers brushed her clit, he murmured that she would feel them for weeks.

"I want to feel it." She moaned. "I'll be sore tomorrow, won't want to bloody walk—"

God, she was fucking babbling.

Her climax crested without warning, crashing over her while begging for them to come inside her, to fill her, to give her more and more and—

She screamed. Hermione knew that by the way Theo laughed quietly beside her ear, and by the way they whispered that she was so good for them.

Slipping out of her, the three of them fell to the sheets, sweaty and spent. Theo tucked her hair behind her ears while Draco pressed open mouthed kisses to the love bite on her throat.

She pulled them both to her, slipping her leg between Theo's.

She was asleep within minutes.

The next morning, Hermione woke to someone between her thighs. Not a normal occurrence, she nearly panicked.

Until she lifted her head to see Draco, and he licked a stripe up her slit with a smug look.

Letting her head fell back to the pillows, Hermione decided she could get used to this.

Theo entered the room, fresh out of the shower, with a towel slung low around his hips. He bit his lower lip. "Want to skip breakfast?" He asked.

"Depends," Hermione replied, arching her back as two fingers curled inside her. "Was this a one off?"

He pinched her nipple. "You can't believe we're going to let you go now." Theo smiled. "You're ours now, Granger."

She nodded. "Then yes, I'd like to skip breakfast." Hermione pulled his towel away from him as he climbed into the bed, and watching him closely as she wrapped her lips around the head of his cock.

His fingers knotted in her hair.

Definitely not a one off.

Thank you for reading this super filthy piece. I hope if you made it this far, that you enjoyed it. As always, I'd love to hear what you think while I work on my smut challenge. (This posts in October, every day of the month! I'm so excited!)