Hi, this is my first proper try at writing.. well, since high school anyway. But that was half a lifetime ago. I am desperate for reviews to guide the story along. I currently have three more chapters written out but they need some finetuning before publishing.

Warning: this fic contains alcohol abuse, infertility, miscarriage, angst, fluff and lemons. Don't read if not your cup of tea!

Dear JKRowling , All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are yours and yours alone. I am merely building a very tiny shrine in tribute to the beloved world that you created.

November 2001

Life had not played out the way Hermione thought it would. Not for her. Growing up during a war, watching friends and family die, struggling to survive and defeating a dark wizard should be enough trauma for a lifetime. They were supposed to have their happily ever afters.. she was supposed to.. brightest witch, golden girl and all that. More like burnt out, lost, lonely… barren.

After the war, life had seemed perfect for a while. The perfect life, perfect job, home, and husband. Perfect fucking Crookshanks.

She and Ron had married a year to the day of the final battle. Rumors had been floating around that a shotgun wedding was needed, that two of the golden trio were expecting, but that could not have been farther from the truth. She had been blissfully happy despite all that and Ron had whispered sweet nothings into her ear about how they would create a perfect honeymoon baby. And tried they had.

Days turning into months and years of trying and failing, countless tests and healers appointments. Years of focusing on work to fill the void and grasping onto the only area where she did not feel like a failure, climbing ranks at the ministry. First junior Auror, then deputy, then lead and finally head of the department. Every climb in ranks chipping away at their relationship and Ron blaming their infertility on the stress of her job.

An empty room in their perfect home a constant reminder of their failure.

Until Ron left her.

It had been a long time coming. They were unhappy and he managed to find happiness with someone else. A bubbly, blonde muggle waitress called Ellie, ample, fertile and happy Ellie. Ron was head over heels in love. Apparently, he had been frequenting the cafe where she was working for months.. months of slowly falling in love with someone else, all while trying to have a baby with his wife.

Ron confessed to her on a Monday after work, They filed for divorce the next day.

The pain of the betrayal was paralyzing but the final blow came a few days later when the divorce was finalized and Ron remarried the same day. Apparently, that shotgun wedding was finally needed.

Hermione did not leave her house for a week after that, she rarely left the place where she was sitting either. To avoid any confrontation with Ron Harry and Ginny came to the house to collect his things, while they gathered, boxed up and levitated his things she sat on her chaise lounge in the living room, frozen in place, staring.

It had all happened so fast. One week ago they had been hoping for a baby, and now her house was slowly emptying of anything that reminded her of him. She had marked anything that reminded her of him with orange tape and asked them to remove it while they were at it, Ron could either keep it or throw it away.

Only when Harry and Ginny had finished up and left did she realize how empty the house now was.

She moved from room to room, running her fingers along the wall where dust marks had been left where frames had once hung, pausing on the spot where the hardwood floor had been faded by the sun that now stood in stark contrast towards the area where aunt Muriel's Persian rug had been.

One of the twin wardrobes in the bedroom was now empty, the bedside table on the left did not have its usual pile of magazines and chocolate frog wrappers, the bathroom now only featured one toothbrush and no spearmint toothpaste was left to be found. Her left hand was now empty and where the Garnet Diamond Halo Ring once had been a pale tan line was now the only thing that remained.

She had returned to work one week after the divorce was finalized. The first day back she also got her period, another reminder of her failure as a human being. In her heartbroken state, she managed to have a hysterical breakdown and left the office in a flurry of broken furniture, singed paper, and shocked colleagues. She almost managed half a day and vowed to herself that she'd never set foot in that department again.

How does one move on from this she wondered as she entered the near-empty townhouse. She hung her keys on the hook by the door and crawled back onto the worn chaise lounge in the living room. She fell asleep watching the first snow of the year falling outside the window.