Feels Like Home

By Shikata ga nai

~*~

Heero groaned as he opened his eyes. It was so brightly white around him that he had to squeeze them shut again immediately, and he waited a few seconds before he tried again. Slowly, cautiously, he peeped his eyes open and soon was blinking tears out of them. The blinding white light resolved itself into a dull glow of sunlight through alabaster curtains.

He lay there tensely for a moment, not sure what to make of things. He stared at the ceiling; it was white stucco. The bed was warm and comfortable, and he knew he'd slept well, which was a welcome change from the last four days and nights, spent in a horrible limbo between wakefulness and sleeping, in airplane seats, the backseats of unfamiliar cars on the highway, the back of someone's pickup truck, and even in an alleyway. He'd flown, hitchhiked, and then walked the last five miles through the driving rain to get here.

Smothering a yawn with a fist, he sat up and swung his legs out of bed. He stood up, walked in his boxers across the expanse of white carpet to the window, and pushed aside the curtain to look outside. The sun shone brightly from the east and everything had a fresh, warm glow to it. He could see glimpses of puddles on the driveway, over the hedge.

The bedroom door opened behind him and he turned around, letting the curtain drop from his fingers. Relena stood in the doorway with some clothes draped over her arm, watching him a little uncertainly. He nodded in greeting and she relaxed visibly.

"I washed and dried your clothes for you," she said, offering her burdened arm before putting the folded clothes on the bed. She backed into the doorway again, gripping the doorknob. "If you want to get dressed, there's food waiting in the kitchen for you."

"Thanks," Heero said gruffly.

She nodded and left the room.

He walked into the familiar adjoining bathroom and turned on the shower, letting it blast hot and cascade over his travel-weary skin for a moment, relishing the feeling of the hot water on his face before scrubbing away the last several days and letting them swirl down the drain.

When he was out, dry, and dressed, he frowned at his hair in the mirror and left the room, heading for the kitchen. Relena was sitting at the table, sipping coffee and flipping through the newspaper. She looked up when he walked in.

"There's coffee in the pot on the counter, and I made eggs, bacon, and toast." She got up to get the food while Heero filled a cup of coffee and sat down.

"You made breakfast?"

"Pagan's got the day off. Besides, I'm perfectly capable of cooking. I just can't be bothered most of the time." She set a loaded plate down in front of him and fetched some toast for herself.

Heero took one look at the food and realized how hungry he was. He hadn't eaten much in the last few days, concentrating his limited funds on travelling instead. He tucked in ravenously.

Relena let him eat in silence, sipping her coffee and munching toast while she watched him, newspaper forgotten. He'd come out of nowhere just yesterday, and already she felt like he'd never left to begin with. It was nice.

Finally, he pushed his empty plate away and leaned back in his chair, watching her with deep blue eyes. "How long did I sleep this time?" he asked, the hint of a sardonic chuckle in his voice.

"Just overnight," she said with a grin. "It's ten-thirty in the morning."

Heero nodded absently, enjoying the feeling of being full and comfortable.

"It's been a year and a half," she said, partly revelation, partly to fill the silence. She could have easily asked him for details about his adventures, but she wasn't about to. She figured that it was personal, and that he'd tell her if he wanted to.

Heero nodded and stared at the edge of the table in front of him. "I traveled a lot. Looking for something, I guess. Trying to figure things out."

"And did you figure them out?" she asked gently, not pressing, just asking.

He snorted and shook his head, his eyes obscured by his messy brown bangs. "The only thing I figured out is that I shouldn't have left at all."

She set down her empty coffee cup. "I think sometimes there are things that you have to work out for yourself, even though you realize you should have known all along."

He looked up at her then, and his eyes were as clear and deep as the sea. He thought hers looked like the clean sky outside. He thought about his fellow pilots--his friends--and what they'd done for him. He thought about Sylvia, too, and knew that he'd probably never mention that. There was no need to. He remembered some things that he'd said to Wufei, a long time ago: I've never 'fit' anywhere. I've been all over the Earth Sphere and the colonies. Nowhere feels like home...

"I know now what I should have known a year and a half ago," Heero said.

"What's that?" Relena asked, her heart racing.

Heero got up, walked around the table, and held out his hand to her. She stood up and he hugged her, pressing her close to his heart with strong arms, inhaling the light, flowery scent of her hair. "That this...this feels like home," he whispered.

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The End