Rachel stays with me in the doctor's office while Mom and Dad are in the waiting room, sitting at opposite ends. Their fighting has come to a standstill while I deal with my issues, and they've been kind and understanding towards me, but there's a chilly silence between them now. It's unnerving. I almost prefer the yelling.

Rachel and I haven't talked about it much. I heard her screaming at Andy out in the hallway that day. They've broken up. She asked me what she could do to help. I needed someone here for me for the appointment. Ivy looked up the address for a clinic that specializes in women's health. She couldn't come, though. Nicole had a game today, but she called early this morning to wish me luck and try to boost my confidence.

David could not come for obvious reasons. He seems nervous about this whole thing, but he told me he's going to talk to his lawyer and ask a few questions. I don't even want to think about the legal side of things. It makes me anxious.

The doctor enters the room. She has a bright smile and warm, dark eyes. Her hijab as green with gold patterns; it makes me think of sun filtering through leaves. She carries a clipboard.

"You are Melinda, correct? Melinda Sordino?"

I clear my throat, and summon a response. "Yes."

"I'm Doctor Millar. So what are you here for?" she asks gently.

"Um..." The silence stretches on.

"I can tell her if you want," Rachel says.

"I- need to be tested."

"Tested for what?" It feels like Doctor Millar has unlimited patience. She doesn't say a word as I fidget.

"For... for infections?"

"STDs?"

I nod. Tears sting the corners of my eyes. Doctor Millar reaches out and puts a hand on my knee.

"There is no need to be ashamed. I'll need you to answer a few questions, and please be honest." She looks at the clipboard. "Have you noticed any symptoms?"

I shake my head.

"How many people have you engaged in intercourse with?"

"Just one," I mumble. Despite my best efforts, a few tears fall. Rachel grabs me a tissue. Doctor Millar looks concerned.

"Did you use protection?"

"He didn't care."

"One more question. What kind was it? Oral, an-"

"The regular kind," I answer quickly. My face is burning.

"Thank you," Doctor Millar checks a few boxes, then sets down her pen. "So, we're testing for everything, just in case?"

I nod again.

"Alright. Wait here, and I'll be back in a quick second."

I have to pee in a cup. It takes some awkward maneuvering, but I get it done. Then Doctor Millar swabs the inside of my mouth. She takes two separate blood samples. I look away from the needles and bite my tongue.

"I'm going to need you to lay back now," Doctor Millar puts on a new pair of gloves. I freeze.

"Isn't there another way?"

"I'm afraid there are no alternatives for this one. I'll be very quick, and it won't hurt a bit."

Rachel takes my hand. "You'll be okay, I promise."

I lay back. My pants and underwear are tugged down a bit. Rachel is facing the wall, not looking, and Doctor Millar has probably seen too many to count, but my skin is still crawling and my neck is warm and I feel like I might cry again.

I squeeze Rachel's hand.

She squeezes back.

Doctor Millar puts the swab in a little tube and I pull my pants back up. It's over. I get to pick a piece of candy from a basket like I'm ten years old again. It stains my tongue purple.

I get the results four days later. Mom has to read them to me because I'm too nervous to look.

I'm so relieved that I almost cry.

I spend the rest of the day curled up with my bunnies. They are very quiet today.