A/N: Thanks for being patient and for the nice reviews. I want to promise the next chapter will be fast coming but life goes on and things happen. My goal is for next week. Please read this chapter and let me know what you think.

Third Times a Son

Chapter 13

It was dark. And quiet. And so peaceful. He didn't want to ruin it. So he didn't.

He just...what?

Layed there?

Stood there?

What was he doing right now?

He couldn't feel his limbs or his face or hear his beating heart. But he knew he was here and that he was breathing.

So why couldn't he remember?

Then he heard a deep chuckle. Making him jump out of his skin. He recognized that sound. He knew that tenor, that condescending laugh.

It all came crashing back…

Harry

Death

Lily

Albus…

Albus!

No! Sirius!

Severus opened his eyes and screamed, "NO!"

He jumped off whatever he was on and screamed again, "You bastard! Don't touch my family!"

"Severus."

Severus jumped again and opened his eyes wider and looked around. He knew where he was now...but how did he get here?

His face must have shown his confusion because he heard, "You would have died there. I pulled you out before you did."

"Black! He…he did this to us." Severus cried and he really was crying. "I had her. I had my future and I just…oh god!" He covered his face in both hands and fell to his knees. "Oh god…" he croaked out between his uncontrollable sobs.

"Lily...Harry, I'm so sorry! I failed! I failed you, please forgive me." He kept choking out his sorrow as Death sat in the chair beside him and let him. For all Severus cared, he forgot that fast he wasn't alone.

He tried, he tried so hard to stop the ache - to squelch the pain in his gut at losing his family. He held her! Oh god, he kissed her! A wail escaped his lips. He used all his fingers and touched his mouth trying to feel her there. He couldn't and his face was a mess with anguish and his lungs hurt from not breathing. He wanted to throw up because his stomach rolled this way and tha.

For a long time he really cried for his loss. Not just because he lost Lily all over again but because he couldn't save Harry. Harry - who loved him despite how he was treated, who has faith in him and trusts him even though he had no merit to do so, and who is depending on him to save him when no one else could.

He laid on the floor and wept like he's never done his entire life.

After a while Severus began to wipe his face, wiping away the tears and mucus but never the pain. He will always feel that and regret, and failure. He desperately wanted a drink, more than one really but one will do for now.

Promises be damned!

Whiskey is the only thing to dull this ache in his heart. He made up his mind, he was going to have just one little sip and if that little sip meant downing the bottle in one go then so be it.

He looked around his surroundings and found himself in his rooms at Hogwarts. Good. He turned, planning on raiding his liquor cabinet but stopped in mid step and stared; he had company.

Oh hell.

Death was sitting patiently in his chair watching him. Studying him. Making him feel things - things like guilt and disappointment and shame.

Severus threw up his shields and plowed on. He didn't care. He needed this. He made it to the liquor cabinet, roughly grabbed a tumbler and the bottle of whiskey. With a shaky hand he poured the amber liquid in the glass missing the rim at first and making a mess. He slammed the bottle down and stared at it. The fluid was sloshing around in the tumbler, like it was daring him to pick it up, taunting him to take that sip, enticing him to wallow in its deliciousness.

All Severus could think of, as he watched the whiskey, was how much he wanted this, fuck, he wanted this. But somewhere in the recess of his closed off mind he could hear Harry, he could feel Harry's disappointment and sorrow and he couldn't do it. He stepped back bringing his hands to his sides and hung his head. "No, I promised you, Harry and I mean to keep my promise." He softly said to his feet. "I promised."

"I'm proud of you, Severus and I know Harry is too." Death said quietly from behind him.

"You warned me but I didn't listen to you." Severus spoke, shaking his head still looking to the floor. "I didn't heed your warnings, I assumed I could fix everything since I knew what was going to happen."

"What did you hope would happen?" Death asked somberly.

Severus turned and walked back to his own chair. He plopped down and rubbed his face. When he looked back to his companion he didn't see disgust or pity or even disappointment. He saw honesty and curiosity and hope.

He was surprised at that last emotion when not too long ago he thought he saw disappointment and shame. No doubt he was projecting his own feelings onto the man.

"I don't know!" He burst out, "I wanted her! To be a family with her and our child. I… I…" He couldn't finish his thought. "I don't understand." He said confused .

"I did warn you that Time and Fate are temperamental. Some events cannot be changed."

"But why is this event so important? Why did she have to die and Harry taken from me! It makes no sense to me!" He shouted.

"To what purpose did Harry have to live like that?" He whispered, his facial expression pained.

"Severus, look at me." When hurt filled eyes looked to him he continued. "This one event was the beginning of Harry's journey. A journey that he had to follow."

"No! I can't accept that! He deserved his family!" Severus yelled back.

"He did or you did."

The question stumped him.

XxxX

Ron and Hermione continued to stare at the book, watching the words roll across the pages wondering what it all meant. Hermione reached out slowly and hovered just above the pages, fearful of touching it.

"Don't touch it Mione. We don't know what it could do." Ron whispered. He lowered her arm and moved to encase her in his hold. Holding her close he whispered into her ear. "What language is that?"

"Dunno. What is it writing?" She questioned. "And who is writing it?" She finished.

"Mione, I'm seeing the same thing you are. I have no clue, but I think this is a clue." He said in her ear. She turned to look at him. "A clue? How can this possibly be a clue?" She asked seriously.

"Look, this obviously is some type of record keeping book. A magical one. I've heard of them but I've never seen one before. Basically, they record events and thoughts of the wizard that owns it. The wizard never has to pick up a quill. It's very old magic and that's why you don't see them anymore. Only a very powerful wizard can charm a book to record their life without them being anywhere near it." He stepped back a step and held her at arm's length. "I think this is one of those books. And if the Professor isn't here, in his office where the book is sitting on his desk, and it's recording frantically, I can only think that it's his and recording his journey. The questions to ask are…" he held up one finger "...one - does the Professor know this old magic and the old language?" He held up two fingers, "Two - what could he be doing that is making the book fill so many pages? And three…" raising a third finger, "what does this have to do with Harry?"

"And four, can we touch the book and skim through it for any answers." Hermione added. Ron smirked at her as he touched her head with a finger. "Only you would add that one, Love." They laughed together and looked back to the book.

It was still writing.

XxxX

Death sat patiently for Severus to calm down. Severus felt awful. His eyes hurt from crying, his nose hurt from constantly wiping it, his head hurt with a god-awful headache and his heart ached with an indescribable pain he's never experienced before.

He was totally heartbroken.

He couldn't get the ache to stop. Try as he might to calm himself. He just kept seeing Potter and Albus...no Black in that alley. Scheming to take his family and he…

A sob slipped past his lips.

"Severus, talk to me." Death crossed one leg over the other and picked up a red jelly bean. "I'm not leaving here until we work this out. So if I have to stay all night or all week I will. I'm here for you but you need to talk to me. What were you thinking? What did you hope would happen and now that you know it didn't work what do you need from me?" He popped the candy into his mouth and sucked the candy coating completely off before chewing it. He only liked doing that to the red ones and only if he had time. Seems he has plenty of time at the moment.

Severus heard the questions and thought about how he wanted to answer them. He wanted his family. He deserved them, dammit! That's what he wanted to say but held his tongue. This was supposed to be about Harry not him.

Well shit.

The hurt man looked up to see the man watching him intently. He wanted to squirm but he doesn't squirm he makes other people feel uncomfortable. So he ran a hand through his hair taking it away from his face at the same time. What he must look like to the well-dressed entity across from him. He sighed and began his thought process first in his mind and then verbally.

"When Lily left me on that day I was so hurt and angry. I felt all alone and lost because she completed me. Without her I'm not whole. No matter what I said to her she never wavered in her answer to me. Never once. She didn't love me, she kept telling me. She loved Potter and she wanted to be with him. I was crushed."

He stood and began to walk around the room. "The next thing I know they're married and she was child. I was so devastated." He stopped in front of his glass of whiskey and stared at it. "Lucius found me one day wondering Diagon Alley and we had lunch. I was still working on my Mastery and he told me of a man who would help me get it done faster. The man would pay for anything I needed as long as I would work for him after I was done. I was excited to have a mentor of sorts and a job waiting for me. After a few more lunches I finally met the Dark Lord. He was polite and engaging and he said all the right things and so I agreed."

He touched the rim of the glass and began to run his finger around the rim. He still stared at the liquid. "Back then he didn't look like he did at the end. He was young and handsome and spoke eloquently. Anyone who met him fell into his trap." He swallowed as his mouth began to water. "Little did I know the monster living under the mask, but I learned quickly. When I heard the prophecy I wanted to keep it quiet. In fact, I had planned on not telling anyone what I'd heard but this damn tattoo of his wouldn't let me!" He stopped running his finger around the rim and picked up the glass. He turned to face the other man holding the glass out in front of him.

"He put several charms into this ugly thing such as a tracking charm, a portkey charm, a summoning charm, a name recognition charm and a fucking truth charm." He started walking again still carrying the glass but now it was just something to hold. "He knew I'd heard something about him because the words "Dark Lord" were used and he asked me about it. I was going to lie but before I could I was already telling him what I'd heard. I was mortified. That's when I began to question things, when I began to have second thoughts about our arrangement."

He sat back in his chair and put the glass on the table in front of him never taking his eyes off the golden liquid inside. "I went to Albus with what I'd done and he told me he would help me. He wrapped my arm in something I've never seen before and told me to wear it every minute for two weeks. It neutralized most of the charms embedded in the magic of the tattoo but not all of them. Just enough for me to turn spy and help the light. I was so relieved to have a second chance to fix my mistakes."

"Then I found out who the Dark Lord was going after and I panicked."

He chanced a glance up to Death and locked eyes with him. "I begged Albus to save her… to save them because I couldn't imagine my life without her presence in it at all. Even if she wasn't mine." He said softly.

"She died anyway and with her my heart and soul died too."

XxxX

Ron and Hermione watched as the last line in the story finished and as the last word wrote itself it glowed a quick gold color before the period was added.

They just stood there and stared.

No one breathed.

Or blinked.

Then without warning the pages began to flip backwards causing the air to whip up and fan their hair back some. They both inhaled a breath but didn't move or say anything. Just watched.

The pages moved quickly, purposely and what seemed like forever before stopping. The words on pages glowed in unison a golden color then nothing.

They just stood there and stared.

No one breathed.

Or blinked.

Then the words glowed again brighter this time. This seemed to jolt them from their zombie-like state and they both leaned over to see what it was showing them.

Hermione gasped.

"Merlin" Ron breathed out.

XxxX

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